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E-W's Worst Characters Ever; Let's make a list!
Topic Started: Apr 2 2006, 05:42 PM (20,037 Views)
Picky
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Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
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Overly_Critical_Jue,Mar 26 2010
08:22 AM
Now, what does Ke$ha have to do with Gibson? Does he wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy? Does the popo shut him down? Does he look like a crazed crackwhore too???? :dontknow:

I just heard this and I now have an idea of what it is like to have vomit shoved in my ear canals.
Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today?

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ProfessorDoran
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The Learning Tree
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DaveG,Mar 27 2010
05:36 PM
Overly_Critical_Jue,Mar 27 2010
01:39 AM
Dave is literally the last person I would have expected to get what I was saying.

I love that song!

Here here! That is just catchy as hell. In fact, I'm playing it now
Cole Hamels Fact #1685: The Devil went down to Georgia because he knew if he went to Philadelphia, Cole would strike his ass out.

http://mysite.verizon.net/heyjude421/chf/chf.html
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BruffyNOT MEMBER
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E2dB,Mar 25 2010
04:39 PM
I could probably find more but why torture you?

eh what the hell...
__________________________________________________

Pat Schneider standing in the middle of the ring

PS: Ladies and gentlemens, he one of the most annoying, the most
unpredictable, here he is, the ex-member of the Warriors of Fear, Mean
Mason!

"Destruction of Hell" start playing over the speaker. Mean Mason
walkout of the back and stare down the aisle at the fans and at
Schneider, who is in the ring abit nervous. Mason walk to the ring with
fans booing all the way, while walking down to the ring, Mason fingers
every single fan in the aisle. He get into the ring and has a usual
mean look in his eyes.

PS: I don't think the fans deserve those fingers, Mr. Mason!

MM: Well, I don't give a damn what you say or what the fans says, as
far as I'm concern, you and the fans can bite my a$$!

PS: Well, there isn't much to bite but let get to the topic. You are
challenging Justin "Big Daddy" Fischer for his Extreme Championship
Title. To let the fans know, which I do believe you know, you are the
number one contender for that belt.

MM: First of all, you can bite my a$$ after I whip your a$$ like I did
to two people last week in a so called "Triple-Threat-Match". I know
you won't mention their name because your a coward, they are Lord
Keeblor and Vader X. The donut man didn't deliver on that day and the
King didn't crown Keeblor because I shove the donuts in Vader X's mouth
and cut off Keeblor's head, and that's the final says.

Schneider still nervous after Mason's comments.

PS: So, what with the Extreme Championship Belt?

MM: I challenged Fischer along time ago after the War of the Ages and
he never response, so to make thing clear-up, if Fischer doesn't sign
this contract, I'll get the championship committee to forfeit that title
to me because in this contract, it's say, Mason will get the Extreme
Championship Belt if Fischer doesn't sign it, believe me, that's a
bride. I'll send this contract to WWO's front office and they will have
to deal with the affect that Fischer was screw by this contract. So, it
will be, he either defend the belt or give up the belt to me, either
way, I'll be in his face, so let it be. By the way, give this to
Fischer since you know his family and he also your lover.

Schneider abit shock by Mason's word.

PS: You won't get away with that and I'm not his lover.

MM: You don't think so, why don't I whip your a$$ now and see what
Fischer will do?

PS: I know you don't have the chance in hell to bride Fischer and I'll
be out of this ring before you even get to me.

Schneider run to the rope and leap out of the ring, landing on his knee.
The mic is still in the ring. Mason pick-up the mic.

MM: Listen, you damn idiot, your dumber than everybody here.

The crowd start booing.

MM: Shut up, all you test-tube baby wanna be, I would go up to everyone
of you and slap the sh*t out of you. If you don't think so, well you
can kiss my a$$, all you mother f*ck*n piece of sh*t, let get started.
Mason about to get out of the ring and start attacking fans with fists
and kicks. As Schneider and officials start to stop Mason but they
can't, he just broke loose. He drop Schneider with the Mason Drop on
the stairstep. Schneider is outcold. Mason grap the chair and beat up
every single official with the chair. One official got hammer hard that
the chair broke. The crowds start backing off from Mason, know that
they don't wants problem or trouble. Mason jump back into the ring and
pick-up the mic. The booing and stuffs start throwing at him. Some
fans start jumping the rail and entering the ring but they get hammer
with the chair as police arrive to arrest the fans and the police get
into the ring and start running at Mason but all of them get hammer with
the chair.

MM: Is what you can give me, is this all you got, come on, this is
p*ssy sh*t. See Fischer, this what your gonna get if you accept my
challenge, since you got no other way out. The era of Mason just begin
and Fischer is victim number one!

"Destruction of Hell" start playing as Mason drop the mic and exit the
ring as fans throw stuffs at him but he punch out most of the fans even
children.

Number one contender? He was a contender for a title? Don't you have to WIN matches for that to happen? Someone must pay, booking Mason to win a match, violates the Geneva Convention! Every time I see anything of Mason, I think of Warren Hayes Midget Mason, a angry little man with a shrill voice and pronounced speech problems.
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BruffyNOT MEMBER
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Picky,Mar 26 2010
09:48 PM
Another great moment in Mason history:

The situation: Mason's tag team has been hounded by a man wearing a hood while their former friend, Mason, has been acting weird. The three face off in an interview and..

Mason: I is the hood man!

The shocking revelation was spoiled for me by NLWA head man Mike H., and it lead directly to the Carnage-a-Trois "Beat the French" day violation of Mason with a Funk and Wagnalls dictionary.

This sentence, concept and aftermath is then liberally used all the time as an in joke between the remaining three NLWA handlers, soon whittled down to one.

As for the hort, I dare not tempt fate lest King $$$ Perfect answer the call. He's like the king in yellow only, well, worse.

Ahh the memories. Back when CAT was in its heyday. It's always fun to relive memories of abusing both Mason and ze Franche.
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Picky
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Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
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BruffyNOT MEMBER,Apr 10 2010
01:44 PM
Number one contender? He was a contender for a title? Don't you have to WIN matches for that to happen? Someone must pay, booking Mason to win a match, violates the Geneva Convention! Every time I see anything of Mason, I think of Warren Hayes Midget Mason, a  angry little man with a shrill voice and pronounced speech problems.

Don't try to understand the pre-1998 WWO; it is too scary to try and make sense of by anyone besides Matt Pearson. Midget Mason was Lacroix's tribute to Fat Chinese Roundhouse. I kind of wish we could have had the two interact.
Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today?

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Jon A
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MORE LIGHT
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Quote:
 
Mason fingers every single fan in the aisle.


o my fuck
You are not your clever names for your moveset.
You are not the dozen belts you won in the WWXCZA.
You are not your entrance music.
You are not your insanely detailed ring attire.
You are not your fucking win/loss record.
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Jon A
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I don't know if the NeWA's Mr. Sinsation was a conceptual joke or not, but this was seriously a flash in it's entirety:

Quote:
 
(Scene opens at Midwest Wrestling and Mr Sinsation is practeing his wrestling moves and then see the cameraman and walks up to it)

Mr Sinsation: So I have to take on this two jobbers on friday big deal but I hope soon I have more bigger fish to fry

(Scene fades to black fuzz)
You are not your clever names for your moveset.
You are not the dozen belts you won in the WWXCZA.
You are not your entrance music.
You are not your insanely detailed ring attire.
You are not your fucking win/loss record.
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Flouzemaker
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I, for one, think it's touching.
I get the same fuzzy feeling watching the Special Olympics.
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tootie mcbootie
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Jon A,Apr 10 2010
11:58 PM
I don't know if the NeWA's Mr. Sinsation was a conceptual joke or not, but this was seriously a flash in it's entirety:

Quote:
 
(Scene opens at Midwest Wrestling and Mr Sinsation is practeing his wrestling moves and then see the cameraman and walks up to it)

Mr Sinsation: So I have to take on this two jobbers on friday big deal but I hope soon I have more bigger fish to fry

(Scene fades to black fuzz)

I got Chris "The Best" West flashbacks from that flash.
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Tracy
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Shillmasta T
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OMG!!!

Just read all the Mean Mason/Billy Higgins stuff. Thanks for posting it. My balls is hammer hard now from finger everyone...EVEN CHILDREN!

Scary part? English was Rich's primary language.
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iusedtobeaformerchampion
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Picky,Apr 10 2010
06:14 PM
Don't try to understand the pre-1998 WWO;


You misspelled "2001".

Wow, Mason had another entire body of work that I knew nothing about.

Vader X was equally incomprehensible, aside from the stupid ripped off name/gimmick, but that handler's name was Omar something or other so I don't know if English was his first language.

Speaking of terrible HAAAAAAAARDCOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE old school WWO characters: Zac Schneider and the Genius FTW.
"Thrasher, you used to be a former champion!"
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Picky
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Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
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iusedtobeaformerchampion,May 25 2011
03:44 PM
Speaking of terrible HAAAAAAAARDCOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE old school WWO characters: Zac Schneider and the Genius FTW.

You're the expert on that stuff.
Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today?

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iusedtobeaformerchampion
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Picky,May 25 2011
06:57 PM
iusedtobeaformerchampion,May 25 2011
03:44 PM
Speaking of terrible HAAAAAAAARDCOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE old school WWO characters: Zac Schneider and the Genius FTW.

You're the expert on that stuff.

Unfortunately.

Zac: handled two or three other characters over his runs in the WWO, WIF and NLWA, but Zac was his main one. Highlights included the use of the legendary catchphrase "I AM HAAAAAAAAARDCOOOOOORE!" creating an in-joke for years in the WWO circle. Had the "Zac Schneider Memorial Coliseum" built in his honor in spite of, as pointed out by Bruffy, not being dead. Constantly demanded title shots and gimmick matches despite the fact that he was an annoying 12-year old little shit who couldn't write an RP or match to save his life, but claimed he could drink an entire case of tequila and had built Stonehenge. Was actually given the WWO World title once in a classic "What the FUCK is Stone thinking?" moment. Described his character's ring attire as having "fire running up his legs" and was once written in a match entrance by Picky to be literally on fire in the aisle and screaming like a little girl, in one of those Picky/Bruffy moments I still laugh about to this day. Handler once had a NLWA tag team called "Northern Justice" where one character was from Texas and the other from Florida, IIRC.

Genius: in spite of the name, had no resemblance whatsoever to Lanny Poffo. Made his WWO debut by interrupting an ECW card and having Joey Styles count the number of 187s and rapes committed by the character, and also claim that "I have actually seen this man eat his opponents alive in the ring!" Famous for incoherent, extremely violent RPs finishing with him singing the catchphrase "KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, CUZ EVERYBODY DIES FROM THIS MOTHERFUCKING WRESTLER!!!". Was somehow inserted into the middle of the legendary Wuzho/Randy Bryson feud in another classic "What the FUCK is Stone thinking?" moment, then finally was turfed out of the WWO by early '99.
"Thrasher, you used to be a former champion!"
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DCGMoo
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iusedtobeaformerchampion,May 25 2011
07:29 PM
Genius: in spite of the name, had no resemblance whatsoever to Lanny Poffo. Made his WWO debut by interrupting an ECW card and having Joey Styles count the number of 187s and rapes committed by the character, and also claim that "I have actually seen this man eat his opponents alive in the ring!"  Famous for incoherent, extremely violent RPs finishing with him singing the catchphrase "KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, CUZ EVERYBODY DIES FROM THIS MOTHERFUCKING WRESTLER!!!". Was somehow inserted into the middle of the legendary Wuzho/Randy Bryson feud in another classic "What the FUCK is Stone thinking?" moment, then finally was turfed out of the WWO by early '99.

Schneider I had mostly forgotten... but Genius, LOL. Even being out of e-w for so many years, for some reason that catchphrase popped into my mind the first time I saw the "Hide your kids, hide your wife..." video when it was making its internet rounds. Had forgotten he was a part of the Wuzho/Bryson feud though.

Working on new characters you didn't see a decade ago. Honest.
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Tracy
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Shillmasta T
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iusedtobeaformerchampion,May 25 2011
07:29 PM
Picky,May 25 2011
06:57 PM
iusedtobeaformerchampion,May 25 2011
03:44 PM
Speaking of terrible HAAAAAAAARDCOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE old school WWO characters: Zac Schneider and the Genius FTW.

You're the expert on that stuff.

Unfortunately.

Zac: handled two or three other characters over his runs in the WWO, WIF and NLWA, but Zac was his main one. Highlights included the use of the legendary catchphrase "I AM HAAAAAAAAARDCOOOOOORE!" creating an in-joke for years in the WWO circle. Had the "Zac Schneider Memorial Coliseum" built in his honor in spite of, as pointed out by Bruffy, not being dead. Constantly demanded title shots and gimmick matches despite the fact that he was an annoying 12-year old little shit who couldn't write an RP or match to save his life, but claimed he could drink an entire case of tequila and had built Stonehenge. Was actually given the WWO World title once in a classic "What the FUCK is Stone thinking?" moment. Described his character's ring attire as having "fire running up his legs" and was once written in a match entrance by Picky to be literally on fire in the aisle and screaming like a little girl, in one of those Picky/Bruffy moments I still laugh about to this day. Handler once had a NLWA tag team called "Northern Justice" where one character was from Texas and the other from Florida, IIRC.

Genius: in spite of the name, had no resemblance whatsoever to Lanny Poffo. Made his WWO debut by interrupting an ECW card and having Joey Styles count the number of 187s and rapes committed by the character, and also claim that "I have actually seen this man eat his opponents alive in the ring!" Famous for incoherent, extremely violent RPs finishing with him singing the catchphrase "KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, KILL 'EM ALL, CUZ EVERYBODY DIES FROM THIS MOTHERFUCKING WRESTLER!!!". Was somehow inserted into the middle of the legendary Wuzho/Randy Bryson feud in another classic "What the FUCK is Stone thinking?" moment, then finally was turfed out of the WWO by early '99.

Here...I'll use my advanced degree in Schneidology to clear up a few points in regards to Zac:

First, there is a misnomer about the memorial stadium. It was fact named for his great great great great uncle on his father's side, Zacaria Schneidelberg IV, famous for his victory in the Battle of Orange Walk in what is now modern-day Belize, where it is said that Schneidelberg's crying, urinating himself, and lying in the fetal position during the middle of a firefight was such a distraction for the rebel Maya leader that the British Occupying forces were able to mortally wound him. Thus, Belize is Zac's ancestral home which is also why he handled Northern Justice; to him, Texas and Florida WERE north of him.

Another great myth is the one about him drinking a case of tequila and building Stonehenge. It must be said though that this myth does have truth to it. See, when Zac was in the fifth grade, he made a diorama of the real Stonehenge out of papier mache for his Social Studies class. That friday when he received an A for the project, he celebrated by purchasing a small box of sampler bottles of Cuervo (about six bottles worth). He immediately drank the samplers and in what he claims to be a drunken haze, made out with his aunt until his mother came home.

The only thing we have really learned from this tale is that Zac was held back in school a LOT.

I don't know where the burning leg story comes from. It seems to come from the old Schneidelberg family ritual, whereupon the males wore codpieces line with bullet ants to "drive out impure thoughts". There is no empirical evidence to prove this however.

And yeah...I'm gonna stop that now.

I do know the reason Zac was booked to beat Andros for the World Heavyweight title. He had flaked on a prior commitment, and when Stone got upset, Andros' handler started being a dick about it.

Genius was turfed out before I came into the WWO so all I know's what you all've told me. But still, I am so going to scream that catchphrase while in the middle of raucous lovin'...




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