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| Assist my Research Paper | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 3 2007, 12:29 AM (164 Views) | |
| Yoyo | Mar 3 2007, 12:29 AM Post #1 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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I have a research paper due on Wendsday of next week, and it's pretty much the day of Reconning for me because if i don't hand in SOMETHING that looks like i did research (which i did) and wrote a seven to ten page paper (which i have yet to do) as well as a bibliography (which i have almost done) with at least four secondary sources and two primary source documents (which i have too), I'm screwed as far as my grade goes in Global History. So, since I want to get as much feedback as possible, I'm going to need you guys to help me out a bit as far as reading it, responding to it, grammar, punctuation, and all that fun stuff. For the record, by the way, my topic is: How Tokugawa Ieyasu gain the title of Shogun in 1600, Japan, and hold this power for nearly three centuries? For information on the topic, you can check the wiki articles i found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokugawa_Ieyasu http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokugawa_shogunate By the way, guys, if i don't get this done, I'm royally screwed over as far as anything goes. That means, I won't be able to come on the site and help out, or anything. So please, HELP ME. Introductory Paragraph:
This needs some serious revisions, though. for instance, it needs to be bulked up some, and the first few lines I don't really like. as well as anything else you guys want to pitch in, you know. go ahead, i need all the help i can get. |
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| Zero.exe | Mar 3 2007, 12:50 AM Post #2 |
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... Very dramatic, but fine. |
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| Super Hurricane | Mar 3 2007, 12:53 AM Post #3 |
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Well, for starters, you could put a paragraph between "descendants. However" since it is past 3 sentences or so. Also, 'tabbing' the first sentence is a decent practice, and you probably have to double-space it so your teacher can read it properly. 'This title was earned over his entire life, which lead him to great success' is another way to put it past-tense. However, tacticians aren't exactly warriors, and the shogun itself is supposed to be a expert in combat should a war arise in his backyard. |
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| Yoyo | Mar 3 2007, 12:56 AM Post #4 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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Zero: I was Aiming for dramatic, it's meant to draw the reader in and all. SH: I tabbed and am required to double space it in Word, it just didn't transfer over when i copied it, apparently. He was a Warlord, though, and a general before becoming Shogun. his fighting is what really got him into the Shogun's seat because of the Battle of Sekigahara. |
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| Pancake Mix | Mar 3 2007, 01:06 AM Post #5 |
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BLARGAHGRHGARR
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You DID get my help on your "Animal Farm" Homework, right? I'm not going through that again, partly out of it being too late, partly becuase I dunno a damn thign on this topic. |
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| Zero.exe | Mar 3 2007, 01:10 AM Post #6 |
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You're doing a research paper, not a story. |
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| Yoyo | Mar 3 2007, 01:15 AM Post #7 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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I did get your help, yes, and i haven't actually gotten to thanking you for that yet, so i'll do it here. Thanks for the help on my Animal Farm project, it got done about twenty minutes earlier than if you hadn't helped. *nod* and for that, i thank you. and if you dont know the topic, that's understandable if you don't want to help. it's not mandatory. >>; Zero: Ah, but it's a story about history. your basically researching a story and telling it again. Why does it have to be flat and blah because it's just a research paper? Why cant it be somewhat dramatic and stylized? |
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| Zero.exe | Mar 3 2007, 01:58 AM Post #8 |
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Because the examiners want facts and not a dramatic tale of how the guy got his groove on. |
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| Absolute Zero | Mar 3 2007, 08:25 AM Post #9 |
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I'm not too good with advice, but I'll give it a shot. The best way to write a reasearch paper is to beat around the bush (needlessly extend, Zero) with the more important topics, extending them to a minimal of two paragraphs, or for larger papers higher. The less important facts should be thrown in at random, but only where they apply. Also, every few paragraphs, a paragraph stating your opinion about what has been said so far is a way to extend, and it's a key part in most reports anyway, so it may even be key to a better grade. Another thing, if you get stuck, is to mention a few things about the age he lived in, but once more only mention things that relate. Sorry if that wasn't any help. |
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| Soulsaber | Mar 3 2007, 03:13 PM Post #10 |
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Statement: I'm plotting your deaths.
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In my opinion you did a good job, nothing to change. |
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| Yoyo | Mar 3 2007, 03:29 PM Post #11 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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alright, here's my updated version, now with the first body paragraph.
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| Soulsaber | Mar 3 2007, 04:06 PM Post #12 |
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Statement: I'm plotting your deaths.
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I think I saw a program on PBS on this guy. |
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| Comic Master Alpha | Mar 3 2007, 04:19 PM Post #13 |
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O.O YOU USED WIKI! NO NO NO! They won't take that as a source in most schools since it isn't completely reliable thanks to it being public edited. You should use a search engine that gives you reliable sources. I recomend vivisimo.com as a good search engine for research sources. I know because i have used it on many occasions to find materials for my many research papers for my Grammar and Composition class (college course English 110) which had to be college grade in quality and I got an A on it. Also, the best way to take up space in a research paper is to make the paper 70% paraphrases (parenthetical documentation after each) 10% quotes and 20% original material. |
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| Yoyo | Mar 3 2007, 04:21 PM Post #14 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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I didn't use Wiki for the actual information, I've been using books about the time period. Wiki was just so you guys would know what i was talking about. |
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| Comic Master Alpha | Mar 3 2007, 04:26 PM Post #15 |
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oh i already know. But yea use that formula i gave you and it helps. Using paraphrasing of information helps fill in space substantially. Also, I would suggest checking out vivisimo as well |
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| Brian | Mar 3 2007, 08:22 PM Post #16 |
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Eh, at the college, yea, wiki might not be tolerated, but I know my high school allows Wiki, and a lot of other locals probably do. |
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| Yoyo | Mar 4 2007, 03:08 PM Post #17 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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update: I got to writing a lot more of it, I'm just here to show it to you guys. I still need comments and critiques though, it helps keep me going and all. if anything looks awkward or needs changing or anything, just tell me. please, tell me. D:
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| Absolute Zero | Mar 4 2007, 04:53 PM Post #18 |
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Ahheeeeeee!!! This looks good enough to me! I didn't know half of that shit! ....or any of it...except Nobunaga. |
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| Yoyo | Mar 4 2007, 05:03 PM Post #19 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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good to hear! C< except i still need at least two more pages to keep it in the range my teacher demands it to be, then i need to write the title page and then the bibliography then scan my primary sources to add! D: |
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| Yoyo | Mar 6 2007, 10:33 PM Post #20 |
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world
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IT. IS. COMPLETE. D:
... well, what say you? I need to hand it in tomorrow no matter what you say, but please, any last suggestions or opinions? D: |
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9:13 AM Jul 11