Megaman EXE RPG |
Administrators: {{J.G.}} {{Agent Q}} Global Moderators: {{Kirote.EXE}} {{Queen Sludge}} {{ Plot Moderators: None...Yet |
Stardate 20xx |
{{Megaman EXE RPG Rules}} {{Megaman EXE RPG News}} {{Megaman EXE Plot Summary}} {{BattleChip List}} {{Character Template}} {{Character Development Sandcastle}} {{Active Topics List}} {{Active Members List}} |
| We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! Please note that after registering, you are required to validate by email as well as be validated by an administrator. If this process takes more than one day, please notify a staff member in the board Cbox. If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Emo AZ is Born...; I'm no longer sane... | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 13 2007, 09:54 PM (562 Views) | |
| Absolute Zero | Apr 13 2007, 09:54 PM Post #1 |
![]()
|
My mother...she went too far. Grandma too. They've broken me. I'm not sane anymore. Love and happiness...I don't even remember what they feel like. The feelings I developed for that girl I met in Honshu, Futsuki...she's only an illusion of hope in my memory. My family runs a strict respect system apparently, and young men are the lowest on the totem pole. Here's how I observed it; Girls and women get AUTOMATIC RESPECT and despite WHAT THEY DO, THEY NEVER LOSE IT AND ALWAYS GAIN THE FAVOR OF THE PARENTS! People older than you get AUTOMATIC RESPECT and despite WHAT THEY DO, THEY NEVER LOSE IT Young men have to EARN RESPECT AFTER A LONG SERIES OF DEMEANING, PRIDE SHATTERING TASKS, ONLY TO HAVE IT BLOWN AWAY BY SOMETHING TINY I protest, saying that all humans have a right to 'sampling' respect from anyone who wants their respect before returning the favor. And what do they say? "That's your atheist side speaking. You have no sense of social order like those who believe in god." They yell...they scream...they accuse me of doing wrong beyond wrong and punish me with the equivalence of if I was a thief or vandal. Why don't I leave, you ask? Two simple reasons; I have absolutely no money, or friends in the area I live in. The teens my age in this neighborhood spit at me from cars, and chuck Seven Eleven drinks at me, one time even being coffee, and another being a sports drink that short circuited my thirty dollar headphones. So you see, the world outside may be more dangerous than in here, and I may lose the tiniest shred of compassion for people and ethics I paved for myself that I've retained. After tonight, though...I'm a different person. I can feel it in my head. I've...never lusted for death so badly. I've never felt the urge to kill...until now... I honestly don't know what will become of me...that knife was looking pretty friendly earlier, so I'm guessing whatever comes next can't be good. Just want you all to know...even though you're all at different points on the map, and we've never met, I consider each and every one of you to be friends. I hope I can pull through this one...I've never been in a slump this bad... |
![]() |
|
| Unlimited Tiefy | Apr 13 2007, 10:05 PM Post #2 |
![]()
Fuck this stupid Florida!
![]()
|
Christ... I'm really not sure what to say about this... what exactly happened to push the issue over the edge? |
![]() |
|
| Pat the Bunny | Apr 13 2007, 10:06 PM Post #3 |
|
The Rapid-mating Bunny!
![]()
|
no.... ok? COME BACK MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously, so what if your freaking spit upon. my friend gets tortured daily. the best course of action is not to fight back, but endure it until you get REALLY good grades, go into an university, AND SHOVE IT IN THEIR FACE(after you make a TON of cash), that or report to judge as Child Abuse. |
![]() |
|
| Absolute Zero | Apr 13 2007, 10:07 PM Post #4 |
![]()
|
I...don't even know. Her fuse is so damn short...maybe she's still fuming about me calling my sister (not SAZ) a whore a few days ago through anger... And Exponent, I'm not a child. I'm 18. |
![]() |
|
| Pancake Mix | Apr 13 2007, 10:08 PM Post #5 |
![]()
BLARGAHGRHGARR
![]()
|
This is why I have Emo Pudding Man AZ. Heck, I'm the lowest guy on the totem pole where I am as well. I mean, take today: Various guys:*talk about how they've broken up.. Me: Hey, you're lucky. I've never even gotten hugged by a girl. One guy: WHAT?! Seriously, you there! *points to nearby girl* Give him a hug. Girl: :blink: Why? One Guy: He's never gotten one from a girl! *laughs* Other guy:*practically falls out of chair laughing so hard* Girl: I don't do charity. Me:*beats head on desk* I've sunk to a new low... One Guy: Hey, I'll give you a quarter if you hug him! Girl: Not for even 5 bucks. All guys: *laugh very hard* Me: Am I That ugly, to the point where somone has to be PAID to touch me? Girl: That'd make me a hooker if I accepted, you know. And so on. Where do you THINK I get all the hatred used to fuel Ian? I vent it all through him. My occasional urges to kill either my classmates or myself, whichever comes first? Yeah. Find an outlet for your anger, AZ. A therapeutic character, if you will. And maybe you can alert the police, or find some professional? Does your school have a Social Worker? Ask to see them, then talk to them about possible solutions, you may find an answer. |
![]() |
|
| Ashidlun.EXE | Apr 13 2007, 10:10 PM Post #6 |
|
Mike: Well then.
![]()
|
AZ..........my heart goes out to you man. i lived the way you are feeling now......dont give up hope the rumores are true, the grass is greener on the other side. You just have to fight to gte through it. i myself was alone once i left ben to rot at brownridge. i am still living the life of eternal hell, ben may see the bright side but he dosent see the truth.......my will has strengthend through it but i had to fight the will of emonism in order to win. i won and now i know no pain no matter how many belts i take.......live on we are here and one day the world will be nicer. so what if they threw drinks at them, they are just jelus of you for being who you are. there is a spanish saying that goes "live and die that is all we know, but we might as well lve life the way we deem right". my great great grandfather said that to his son and generations after.we live and we die......might as well live life the best we can right? the world IS against me, but i find the joy in life and hold on dear to it no matter what comes, it will keep me mprtal and sane. before ben, my life was nothing, POOF! ben came in and i had a meaning to live. find your oe true joy in life and hold on. no good living if you are already dead.....it is no fun no matter what they say. it hurts, and leaves you the horrible truth. i will not tell you untill the time is right and yyou have come over this period of time, we are here for you in the computer, mind, and soul. remember that and no man or woman will bring you down. |
![]() |
|
| Unlimited Tiefy | Apr 13 2007, 10:11 PM Post #7 |
![]()
Fuck this stupid Florida!
![]()
|
Indeed. I let it all out via 3 methods: 1) Gaming. (Resident Evil 4 is very nice) 2) Randomness. (Humor and annoying people cheers me up) 3) Binge Eating. (...No comment) |
![]() |
|
| Evil Mr.Jake | Apr 13 2007, 10:29 PM Post #8 |
![]()
|
I know how you feel AZ, hell I know |
![]() |
|
| Ashidlun.EXE | Apr 13 2007, 10:30 PM Post #9 |
|
Mike: Well then.
![]()
|
my joy in life is my home and blood kin along with the adoption of benji (if that ever happend) my other joys in life are: 1) kicking butt in samuri warriors 2 2)my friends (or what little i have) 3) my sisters DS.....dont ask 4) my big belly (fits more food XD) 5)here.......my home away from home.......this forum is keeping from going back to the emo side. as you can see we found our joy in life and now we live happily. you too must see through your self and think *who am i to lose to these IDIOTS! i am better than them and i still think i should die......what hericey am i thinking?!?!?* it kept me alive......and i hope it can help you as well. |
![]() |
|
| Starsword | Apr 13 2007, 10:32 PM Post #10 |
|
The Unbanned outlaw of the EXE RPG
![]()
|
Wow, and I thought I had it tough. The only thing that's happend to me recently is my dorm room burning down an me losing tons of stuff including a great number of my Yu-gi-oh cards, my TV and some other stuff. I don't know how such an easy going, easy to get along with person could be disliked by so many people. You had BETTER not be serious about threatening to commit suicide or I'm going to find you and steal all the pointy objects from your house so you can't do anything. I would recomend finding somone you trust that you can talk to. Trust me, talking ALWAYS helps. I would know, I'm also described as being emo since nobody has ever gotten close enough to me to know my true nature beyond the mask of my pride and arrogance. I'm always ready to lend a sympathetic ear. Alot of people just know me as that very anti-social emo kid who has an attitude problem and doesn't talk much. Being emo is nothing to be ashamed of, it means that life has been hard but your still there, in one form. For me, I'm just a bitter shell of my former happy self from back when I was still in Elementry school. |
![]() |
|
| J.G. | Apr 13 2007, 10:45 PM Post #11 |
![]()
abba-zabba, you my only friend
![]()
|
AZ... I seriously don't know what to say. First off, get all pointy/sharp/poisionous/posibally-suicide-friendly objects away from you. If I find out that happens to you, I don't know what I would do. Life is the best gift we have, and to find out you wasted it might bring me to say things I really don't want to say. Now, first off, I've never been at a point like this. Sure, I've had my fair share of arguments with my parents (actually, fair share of arguments with my mom. Never argued with my old man), but it's never brought me to where I would think something like this. Maybe I'm just stubborn, maybe I'm too shallow or simple to think of it like this, but either way, I can't honestly say I've been there. That out of the way, just look back to the lists GLT and PM made. Get it out of your system. Punch something. Kick something. Lift some weights. Do some push-ups, situps, any kind of physical activity. Just try to MOVE and not THINK. Get to something where you can acomplish something, and try to acomplish as much as you can. VENT it, AZ, in any way what you can. If that means sending Soul on a killing rampage on Chaos, by all means, DO IT. Also, I find (it might just be how I was raised) that when I'm frustrated beyond belief, church helps. I dunno why, but it does. That and praying. Religion in general, I suppose. Count your blessings. For every bad thing in your life, try to think of one good thing. That's all the advice I have for now... But hang in there. |
![]() |
|
| Azrael.exe | Apr 13 2007, 10:45 PM Post #12 |
![]()
Ebon Rose Member and Beer Provider
![]()
|
(Copied from chaos) Deja Vu..all cases. Ah hell at least I didnt get it at home, well not from my family at least. When I was in 3rd grade I moved away and thus lost contact with my friends in the full expectation I would see them again in middle school. Oh shit how naive I was. I had grown up till seventh grade to be pretty naive about what was going on around me, and surprisingly (especially for those of you who know my view on mankind) I thought life was a happy place. I had a group of friends that liked me at my new school but then in seventh grade it changed Like I thought as a child came partially true, I did meet up with my old friends, but they were different. They now did things that I didnt like, I still honestly considered them friends but said I couldnt hang out with them. Thats when all hell broke loose. In the halls I was actually pulled aside and attacked , being such a wide and crowded school though no one noticed, also bruises tend to match my skin tone. I was jeered at in hallways experienced passing car events like AZ. Hell I even had whole hate Sites made in my fucking honor. I am empathetic to the extreme, as a little kid I would respond to anything, if someone else was sad so was I but I would pin it upon myself. Now I wasnt so Naive that I hadnt learned to mentally shield myself and I used it for the longest time till I snapped The wall was down and the hate from all those people poured down upon me. I felt insignifagant I felt worthless, I felt like the scum of all the planet and then some. I fell to the ground crying when I saw my dagger in the china cabinet, I took it. I had a knife to my throat and it wasnt blunted (its a full fledged assasins blade i got from my sis for being in her wedding). Right when I went for the jugular (all those who are non-religous may ignore this) I heard a voice in my head telling me to stop and put the blade down, and I know that if I never heard it I'd be dead and wouldnt be speaking to you all now Ive had to go to counciling and I had the dagger locked in a place I couldnt find it. To this day I still sometimes wish I knew where it was. but I also know about the good things and I always try to think of that voice. Hell I dont know why I wrote that all out maybe just to Say AZ I've been there and I got to say its not worth it, Suicide is one of the most selfish and ignorant things you can do even though it may sound appealing. AZ, the slump may seem bad now but please wait it out you have no idea how many people would miss you if you were gone, and no I am not talking about your family I am talking about all of us on this site and Mmexe rpg. We care, even if your asswipe family may not |
![]() |
|
| Pancake Mix | Apr 13 2007, 11:04 PM Post #13 |
![]()
BLARGAHGRHGARR
![]()
|
...Okay, hands up everyone. Who here has contemplated either suicide or murder? *raises hand* This seems to be an issue we ALL can associate with. Damnable teenage hormones...let's just get what we have off our chests, y'know? |
![]() |
|
| J.G. | Apr 13 2007, 11:22 PM Post #14 |
![]()
abba-zabba, you my only friend
![]()
|
*Raises hand* Meh... I'm not self destructive (posiblly a little to narcissitic for that) but there are PLENTY of people I've just wanted to punch in the fucking race and beat them till they stopped fucking with me. |
![]() |
|
| Pat the Bunny | Apr 13 2007, 11:30 PM Post #15 |
|
The Rapid-mating Bunny!
![]()
|
Not so much for me, seeing as I have some(not ALOT) great friends who can support me, even to the point where I want to kill someone. There are a few people(Jocks, whores) who have a SEVERE attitude problem. |
![]() |
|
| Unlimited Tiefy | Apr 13 2007, 11:35 PM Post #16 |
![]()
Fuck this stupid Florida!
![]()
|
*raises hand* I've been stressed for most of my life, and 2 years of chemotherapy made me subject to berserk fits every so often back when I was younger... |
![]() |
|
| Pancake Mix | Apr 13 2007, 11:43 PM Post #17 |
![]()
BLARGAHGRHGARR
![]()
|
O.O JESUS! You had CANCER?! |
![]() |
|
| Ashidlun.EXE | Apr 13 2007, 11:46 PM Post #18 |
|
Mike: Well then.
![]()
|
i do be raising my hand for i have attempted to choke myself to deat on more than one occasion. *raises hand* |
![]() |
|
| J.G. | Apr 13 2007, 11:47 PM Post #19 |
![]()
abba-zabba, you my only friend
![]()
|
... I didn't even know you COULD choke yourself to death. Without help. Wouldn't you pass out from back of oxygen and, ya know, fall unconcious? |
![]() |
|
| Pancake Mix | Apr 13 2007, 11:50 PM Post #20 |
![]()
BLARGAHGRHGARR
![]()
|
<_< DUH, not with bare hands... |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · General Discussion · Next Topic » |













9:11 AM Jul 11