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| Emo AZ is Born...; I'm no longer sane... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 13 2007, 09:54 PM (559 Views) | |
| J.G. | Apr 13 2007, 11:50 PM Post #21 |
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abba-zabba, you my only friend
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That was the impression I got... And that's what I thought. I just wanted to make sure. |
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| Ravager Hughesy | Apr 13 2007, 11:54 PM Post #22 |
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Corner text reads: "Octopus deceiving predator with its ink."
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I go through the same thing year after year. Even in college jocks don't mature. My vents: (1) Just punch 'em in the fucking face. (2) Pretend that they're the uber monsters(aside from Bahamut) I pwn on FFXI (3) Take your achaeology book and hit them over the head with it. (4) Rub my being-more-buff-than-them in their faces. It pisses them off so bad! ...This should be (1).... (5) Draw pictures of their faces then tape it to my dart wall then throw knives at the picture. Dosen't build character, but it helps me =P |
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| Pancake Mix | Apr 14 2007, 12:30 AM Post #23 |
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BLARGAHGRHGARR
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<.< Might as well post mine, since I came up with the idea... Well, there is a HUGE conformist streak where I am, if you are ANY different from the norm (Jock for guys, bimbo for girls), you'll be shunned on the spot. The fact I'm thinner then anyone else, thus forcing the need for a winter coat INDOORS doesn't help much. Then, my sanctuary, AKA my room, is cut off from me due to obscene amounts of homework. I have no friends whatsoever. Muffin mix does NOT help by being a nitpicking little asshole half the time. "YOUR BREATH!11!" "OMG YOUR NOSE IS SO BIG!!111" And so on. So I spend more and more of my time on here, as it's the only place I have left...I'm terribly lonely...No one to talk to...not one person on earth knows who I am, if I told anyone everything, I'd get a scream of horror, even from a family member. A few years ago, puberty kicked in, adding to my woe. I liked girls...they all hated me. I was constantly told how funny I am...And then a few people commented how cute I am, but they were family, so I disregard them. People like a completly fabricated me, with the real thing screaming in agony underneath. I don't want to be a complete clone of everyone else! I underwent a brief period of outright dementia during 7th grade. I finally cracked. I started hitting myself, and it comforted me. My inner pain made real, it was something I could control or ignore. I gradually became worse, I feared I would do somethign more rash. One day, I got a pad of paper out, wrote an entire suicide note, and picked up a knife, ready to plunge it into my chest. I pressed the blade against my skin, but then broke down crying, setting it down. What had happened to me? My life...WHY? Why do so many people hate me just for who I am? I burned the note on a nearby candle. I suddenly understood things I didn't before. People took drugs to end this kind of suffering. People killed themselves to be rid of it. Why me? What had I done to deserve this? After much thought, I came to a conclusion, that it is NOT my fault. Everyone else was to blame! They did this to me! For such pitiful reasons, they had reduced me to a suicidal, whimpering child! I hated them all. They went on so...peacefully. I had an IQ of 115, last test. I am far superior mentally to all my classmates. And yet...they got better grades! How was this possible! The same people who asked me if I would vote for a left-wing republican we're on Honor Roll, while I was placed in Special Ed! It dawned on me. Society ITSELF was the issue! If you are different, you are shunned. I always do assignments MY way, not the dictated way. A C average was good, I was in the 'Average" class. And yet...C students are regarded as incredibly stupid! Society had clearly gone wrong somewhere. the School system was a failure in my eyes, and this newfound hate for the system that made it up festered, ironically propelled by my now sinking grades, due to depression. I hated it all! I want them all dead! They deserved death, and retribution for all my pain! These stupid people, they have no mind of their own, like sheep! I'LL KILL THEM ALL! I slipped a knife into my coat...and promtly removed it. MURDER? What was I thinking? I became terrified of myself. My fears were confirmed when Muffin Mix wa sbeing particularly irritating, and kicked me in the stomach. Before I knew it, I jumped into the air, extended my knees, and plowed into his solar plexus with my knees. MM collapsed from the concentrated force, and as we fell to the floor, me punching him in the face the whole way, I sudden;y regained control. I helped him up, gave him some Ice Cream and returned to my room. My god...I nearly broke MM's ribs! I could have killed my own brother...That thought made me furious Look what society did to me! All these people, they follow this system, and the system and it's folowers as a whole must be punished for this! I tore apart a pillow on my bed, blew up countless enemys in various games, but nothing subdued my burning anger. Then I made Ian. An outlet! My feelings...in fictional form! No longer constrained by society and it's pawns, I laid bare all what I truly was. The result horrified me. This COULDN'T be me! I tested Ian out, making a mini-plot with him. The results seemed euphoric. Here was someone I could identify with, at long last! My fury toward the world turned to plans for him, how he would ultimately destroy all in his path. Things were okay for the next few months...then I went on a retreat. The 6-hour long bus ride gave me a long time to think. I mentally consulted Ian, whom I regarded as my subconscious by now, thinking first as myself, then as him, weighing my thoughts. I suddenly had a stark relaization. I've got a little voice in my head now, and it tells me to kill! Frantic, I got mentally in character as Twin, and subdued my impulse to wrap my fingers around the person sitting next to me's throat. Yes...2 voices in my head, one to keep the other in check. I then knew: I'm completly insane now. So there you have it. GOD, did I type that much? |
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| Unlimited Tiefy | Apr 14 2007, 12:37 AM Post #24 |
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Fuck this stupid Florida!
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No, Nephrotic Syndrome. Still pretty nasty. |
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| Ashidlun.EXE | Apr 14 2007, 12:46 AM Post #25 |
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Mike: Well then.
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jesus.......what is the world coming too, people getting sick, going emo, we are only mortals after all. is there anything more this meaaed up planet wants? |
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| J.G. | Apr 14 2007, 12:47 AM Post #26 |
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abba-zabba, you my only friend
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@ PM: Look on the bright side- at least your voices balance each other out. You COULD just have the Ian voice... Which would be REALLY bad. OH! I have an idea- if you can get into character so well, why don't you try for the Speech team (if your school has one)? |
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| Ravager Hughesy | Apr 14 2007, 01:00 AM Post #27 |
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Corner text reads: "Octopus deceiving predator with its ink."
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I have an Ian voice, with no Twin voice. S'bad, my friends. I've actually thought about bringing a gun too school and imitating this columbine thing I keep hearing about. Except stanford is probably 5 times bigger. I've refrained from doing so. By staying home wrapped up in my shell, stabbing my extremely old matress(no it's not the one on the bed). |
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| Freki | Apr 14 2007, 08:07 AM Post #28 |
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Actually, I'm Civilian...
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*Raises hand* Yeah, me as well... I was pretty low a while ago, I still don't want to talk about it in public.. |
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| Super Hurricane | Apr 14 2007, 10:35 AM Post #29 |
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Surrounded by people who wanted to killed themselves off in a message board for two years, had to talk them out of it so we wouldn't lose members. Seriously, AZ, just get the freaking police involved and have them search for evidence that will show those idiots that you stole nothing. Check pawn shops and Goodwill as well. |
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| Timeman EXE | Apr 14 2007, 02:57 PM Post #30 |
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me
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I've faced bullies all of my life to, just because I am small and afraid to stand up for what I belive in, but now I am changing that with Genatropine shots. (I have been taking them for 4 years now) But still dont let them bullie you around, try throwing a set mouse trap at there noses. And I just got my new sling shot today, so when I get mad at people I just shoot them. (My old one was broke and 3 years old) |
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| Deleted User | Apr 14 2007, 03:36 PM Post #31 |
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Deleted User
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um.....I'm not suicidle per say, I just like to blow things up. Maybe that's the reason.....try blowing things up! (not n, just a couple of those mini-rockets) |
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| Pat the Bunny | Apr 14 2007, 08:49 PM Post #32 |
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The Rapid-mating Bunny!
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PM, your life is very troublesome. My advice is to go to a Psychiatrist and talk over your problems. |
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| Pancake Mix | Apr 14 2007, 08:55 PM Post #33 |
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BLARGAHGRHGARR
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I HAVE a psychiatrist, actually. And a social worker. I'm kinda demented, aren't I? |
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| Anime Master ZERO | Apr 15 2007, 03:53 PM Post #34 |
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Net Savior
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Well AZ, I normally don't recommend this but I see no other way of getting around it. You're going to have to prove that you deserve respect. 4K!DS STYLE!!! What is 4Kids style, you ask? Well, take a look below. This comic takes a scene right out of Yu-Gi-Oh!. In the first row, you have a scene from The Abridged Series. The second row shows what happened in the manga. The third row is what happened in the original anime. And the last row is the 4Kids version of the same scene. Posted Image And if this doesn't seem plausible, at least it'll brighten your day with its humor. |
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| Pat the Bunny | Apr 15 2007, 04:02 PM Post #35 |
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The Rapid-mating Bunny!
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EGAD, GAY(or possibly fruity) YUGI MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Anime Master ZERO | Apr 15 2007, 05:06 PM Post #36 |
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Net Savior
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Nah, that's just 4Kids. |
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| Pancake Mix | Apr 15 2007, 07:19 PM Post #37 |
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BLARGAHGRHGARR
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Much like how the English translators of Axel seem to reading too many schlock romance novels. "He made me feel...like I had a heart. You make me feel...the same." Sora: :blink: back away from the crazy man Sora, so your animal friends and giant key can protect you... |
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| Pat the Bunny | Apr 15 2007, 10:08 PM Post #38 |
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The Rapid-mating Bunny!
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t's TALKING, and have opposable thumb-ed Animal Friends. |
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| Mike | Apr 16 2007, 03:05 PM Post #39 |
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Hmm...things that help me cope with stress and potential emo-ness. 1.listen to my bro beatbox. (I dunno) 2.listen to this song called Aruarian dance.(calms me down) 3.cheat on my old pokemon games(I love smashing missingno.) 4.this site(when i can't see my friends, i see my other friends here) 5.My family(who is always glad to see me.) 6.writing my FMA fanfic. 7.EATING CHICKEN!!!(tm) 8.football 9.Track(Go shotput!) but like me...and like everyone else who has already recomended stuff...find ways to cope with shit, and if its any consolation, I have had urges to kill people as well. |
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| Silex | Apr 16 2007, 03:24 PM Post #40 |
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Woah az i feel sorry for you..i really don't know how it is for you guys..really ...not meaning bad but i will never understand anyone from *points North* really how you people think..act none of it..lucky me i live in the carribbean..wow..not much goes down here..only a few killings well many..and if i am confronted by those situations i just throw glass bottle and stuff at those people and call up my clip for them |
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