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Relationship Discussion; Split from the Prom topic
Topic Started: May 4 2007, 08:35 PM (81 Views)
Pancake Mix
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BLARGAHGRHGARR

Mmh. I've never been to a dance. (Or a party, for that matter.) I'm too shy to ask a girl, though they're all taken already, and I can't STAND just sitting there whie everyone else has fun.
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J.G.
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abba-zabba, you my only friend

PM, I know how this is going to sound, so forgive me in advance.

GET SUM BALLS.

I was in your situation once- a geeky kid with glasses noone liked. Until a couple years ago, at camp, we had a dance, and I made a bet with one of my friends that I could get a girl to dance with me.

Surprisingly enough, she said yes.

Luckily, when I went to high school, I got a chance to sorta "reinvent" myself- got contacts, changed my hair up, started acting a little looser-, and now I don't have a problem talking to girls (with one exception, but that's beside the point).

It may be a bit late for you to go to a new school, but you'd be amazed at what opening up can do. Find some people who halfway tolerate you, if that's all you can find, and hang out with them a bit. You might be amazed at what happens.
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Pancake Mix
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BLARGAHGRHGARR

Click me...
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Raymond Merlo
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Seen it, read it, laughed when i realised I was amongst that group.

Onto the subject of Proms: What's the big deal over Proms?
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J.G.
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abba-zabba, you my only friend

*Reads*

*Crumples into little paper ball and tosses*

BULLSHIT. Don't cop that kind of attitude, PM- that's loser talk. (Besides, I personally think all the mental disorders that people have theroized about, particuarly ADD and ADHD, are just BS excuses.)

You're just giving up without doing anything. The only time you're GUARENTEED to lose is when you don't try.

Besides,

Wiki Article
 
Gilmartin believes that shyness is a condition which needs to be cured. He claims that "SHYNESS IS NEVER HEALTHY" (his capitalization).

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Yoyo
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world

J.G.
May 4 2007, 08:40 PM
PM, I know how this is going to sound, so forgive me in advance.

GET SUM BALLS.

I was in your situation once- a geeky kid with glasses noone liked. Until a couple years ago, at camp, we had a dance, and I made a bet with one of my friends that I could get a girl to dance with me.

Surprisingly enough, she said yes.

Luckily, when I went to high school, I got a chance to sorta "reinvent" myself- got contacts, changed my hair up, started acting a little looser-, and now I don't have a problem talking to girls (with one exception, but that's beside the point).

It may be a bit late for you to go to a new school, but you'd be amazed at what opening up can do. Find some people who halfway tolerate you, if that's all you can find, and hang out with them a bit. You might be amazed at what happens.

my advice for a case like this is what i did. I call it my *tobeeditedwithammountofsteps* step program.

First,
you need to establish your footing. what i mean is, you need to know what you want from life and you need to have your goals. Mine, for instance, was my photography. I want to make good photographs and eventually teach photo to high school kids. A bit far fetched, but it really does help boost confidence and all.

Second,
Establish a certain level of swagger to yourself. you need to be able to stay calm and cool, even if you don't feel it, really. if your collected, you function better with other people, it seems. Avoiding awkward subjects and such is also good, even if they might relate to that. that comes in later, anyway.

Next,
Start acting on your goals. If there's a group you can join at school that deals with your goals from step one, jump on the chance. You'll meet a lot of people, girls and guys, who have similar interests. and you know, they all have friends who have friends, and soon you can branch out to them as well.

Nextly,
Shop at american eagle. i don't know why, but i went in there and bought a few button down shirts and some non-jeans pants, and suddenly you start caring about what you look like and all, and then you only make yourself better from that. I found the button down shirts more along the lines of suave, i suppose, but that ties into step two, the swagger thing. I think girls like a certain level of confidence.

Another one,
tying into step two, you need to find at least one person who can stand you. then, that person gets you into their circle of friends, and know you know four people. then they introduce you to their friends, and then you know sixteen people. and soon enough, you know a lot more people and can function with them, as well.

Theres a bunch of these...
once you establish a group of friends, then you need to find out how close they can get to you. I like to open up online, ironically, over AIM once i get the peoples usernames. theres one test i give to some girls to see how open they are, really... they log on and start talking to me, then when they ask what i'm up to, i mention a 'secret folder'. this trick works either one of two ways; they get grossed out at the thought of your 'secret folder' and leave, or they get interested. this usually waits for a few days or a week after you first start talking- and not just little chit chat, you must actually CONVERSE- beforehand. Results may Vary.

After that,
Once the girls know where your mind is, or don't mind it themselves, then your in the clear, even if it is just for friendship. I won't get into details, but if you talk about the right things, girls will talk to you about worse, from what i've seen. You just can't be afraid to take a chance.

example: a while back in October, i met this freshman girl. She was everything i wanted in a woman, you know? then i went to her on AIM and told her, you know, "I just want you to know your the personification of everything i love." she found it cute, and went speechless. hell, we had met the week or so before, and i had found out most of what i know about her from myspace. <<; which, incidentally, just proves the point that that is an unsafe tool for internet to have. D: Anyway, we stayed friends, and she got a boyfriend now. But that's cool with me, i like friendship.

Really, after a while the girls might start coming to you. what's important, though, even if they already are in a relationship or something, and just want to be friends, be friends. its better than playing the lonely card, and friends help friends, right? they'll give you a dance, or hugs and kisses, depending. even friends do get a bit close, but if your too afraid to try, you won't get anywhere, right? but, also, once you do find someone who you like and they like back, you must be able to follow through. keep that small flicker alive, and you might get a flame, after all.

I hope i've helped a bit to inspire you some. Now read the completely invisible fine print, just in case shit dont work out the way you like.











and thats it. Didn't see the fine print? Gooood. n.n
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J.G.
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abba-zabba, you my only friend

Yoyodude is right- clothes sometimes DO make the man. XP
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Pancake Mix
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BLARGAHGRHGARR

Pancake Mix
May 4 2007, 08:35 PM
though they're all taken already,

Funny how NEITHER OF YOU SAW THIS PART.
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J.G.
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abba-zabba, you my only friend

They can't be ALL taken... that's your shyness talking. Look around- there's always SOMEONE that isn't taken.
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Yoyo
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world

Pancake Mix
May 4 2007, 09:22 PM
Pancake Mix
May 4 2007, 08:35 PM
though they're all taken already,

Funny how NEITHER OF YOU SAW THIS PART.

Quote:
 
Really, after a while the girls might start coming to you. what's important, though, even if they already are in a relationship or something, and just want to be friends, be friends. its better than playing the lonely card, and friends help friends, right? they'll give you a dance, or hugs and kisses, depending. even friends do get a bit close, but if your too afraid to try, you won't get anywhere, right?


I added a bit on, but the first part i mentioned.

Shy of Love, PM? They don't aim so high. Aim for friends. just friends, and then that can sometimes expand.

J.G.: They don't necissarily MAKE the man, but they do help. xP
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Silex


Gah just simply go up to any girl my age or over ask them if they wanna go to club zen..most likely the young ones say yeah and well..thats is..not so hard
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J.G.
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abba-zabba, you my only friend

I dunno... I've heard one of my chick friends say, and I quote, "Wow, that shirt is so hot on him!" No joke.

(OT: The use of the term "chick friend" in the above sentence was in no way used as a stereotype- it was simply used in lieu of "girl friend" to prevent the confusion that normally results from using that term.)
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Yoyo
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world

not "He's so hot in that shirt?" wow. xP that's awfully kind. Eh, up until now I've had the 'cute factor' going for me. I'd ask a girl out, and they'd go, "Aw, that's cute, but..." and then play it off.
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Yoyo
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The Voice of Reason in an Unreasonable world

since we wee taking over Celly's topic, i split it into a new one.
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Kirote.EXE
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* Frozen Blade, Shrouded Memories *

I don't have a problem asking girls out...


....I just have problrms when I have to deal with break-ups. In a way, you're somewhat lucky. Yes it's true, you've never had a girlfriend, but then again you've never felt the pain of being dumped. it hurts. trust me.

But my advice...just be yourself. If all else fails, wear a lot of leather. Chicks dig leather.
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J.G.
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abba-zabba, you my only friend

XDDDDDDDD

Yeah... take Kirote's advice with a pinch of salt.
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Celestial
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You will always hold the key to my heart

proms are really overrated. And frankly I think it's a girl thing, just like weddings. Guys can get married on a street corner in their boxers but girls have their picture perfect wedding. Proms are just for the really popular chicks to hang out with friends. Wo0p for not being popular
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Solar Zero
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They're taking the hobbits to Florida!

Now I have a question and I'm serious. I'm in the same boat right now, prom comes.... *checks paper* the 19th. The problem: I'm outta school and have no date but am still expected to go... WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?! I've never been one to chat with girls much and now I don't even get the chance to see them. What do I do now.
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