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| Approved: Leanardo lake, and Sapphire.EXE | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 7 2009, 02:25 PM (81 Views) | |
| AquaCrystal33 | Nov 7 2009, 02:25 PM Post #1 |
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Operator Name: Gender: Birth Month/Day|Age: Hair Color & Style: Eyes Color: Description:
Background History: Residential location: Net Navi Name: Gender: Element: Sub-Element: Main Weapon: >M. Weapon Attributes: Sub Weapon: >S. Weapon Attributes: Description:
Background History: RP Sample: Operator Name: Leanardo lake Gender: Male Birth Month/Day | Age He was born in 20xx is about 17. June is his birth month. Hair & Style: His hair is a sleek silver but a bit spiky. (He dyes it) Eyes: Color of the iris? His eyes are an abnormal shade of green. Description: Appearance: http://media.photobucket.com/image/anime%20boys/incorrigibleIdealist-55/anime%20boys/threeguysdressedup.jpg?o=3 the one on the left but with shorter hair. Personality: He is usually kind. Sometimes he is known for his generosity to the weak and friendless. Get him riled up however and you have signed your own death warrant. He has a split personality that sometimes is a good personality yet at other times is pure unspeakable evil. Background History: Well his parents had many business rivals who would kill for a chance to take revenge by taking 'care' of the son and so they entrusted him to a family friend right before the business was destroyed. Leanardo left the house. He then spent a few years learning how to Counterfeit and from that gained quite an amount of counterfeit Zenny. Residential location: Seaside Town Net Navi Name: Sapphire.EXE/Lunara.EXE Gender: Female Element: Pick 1 Of the 12 following Elements: Aqua/Wood Main Weapon: Freeze Kiss/Blast >M. Weapon Attributes: She will walk confidently up to a rival navi. She will then lay her hands on both of that male navi's cheeks and then pull him into a kiss but her kiss will do fair damage and will freeze an opponet with love for her. However she has another way she can utilize this attack though it does moderate damage. She will fire a blast of energy from her hand, freezing on contact. It only lasts for 1 turn, is useless against nonelemental Navis and also….. It can either be a ranged attack or a melee attack depending on how it is used. Sub Weapon: Sleep Spores >S. Weapon Attributes She will kiss her hand and then blow it onto the field and it does as follows. The 'dust' will go over 7 panels and if it hits any Navi, it will make them drowsy, 5% slower and 2% damage of their attacks will be nullified from them until they recover which will be in 3 turns, after which her sleep spores work agaiin. Description: Appearance: She is clad in a skin tight body suit. It is light blue. It compliments her feminine lines. She also looks like someone you don't mess with based off of the highlights in her hair. Personality: She unlike her operator suffers no split personality syndrome. Instead she is known to be calm. She is also usually fairly warm to strangers as long as they aren't hostile. In battle she calculates the risk before fighting and is usually completely serene. Background History: Sapphire.EXE was created by Jonathan Lake the father of Leanardo lake and was a fusion of two navis actually, a ninja navi and an ice type navi. As a result the battlechips become handheld weapons instead of replacing the arm. Also she was programmed to be adaptable to different enviroments and thus her weapons tend to change based on the enviroment. However currently that feature has been locked and her only weapons are water style weaponry that she utilizes sparingly. She has been modified to have a side affect to her kiss, whoever she kisses falls in love with her and is addicted. She also has the ability to use her main weapon or sub weapon as handheld, but can't use battlechips as handheld weapons yet except swords for some odd reason. RP Sample Instructions The Net is a hostile place. Truly this lesson had to be learned by Sapphire.EXE when she first logged into the net. All navis were at a disadvantage against viruses and this she knew, but yet she would fight nonetheless. She strode through the net confidently practicing her ice beams and her saber for the day she would confront a powerful foe. 6 Mettaur Viruses appeared surrounding her and so the battle would begin. All she had as regards battlechips were 3 bubblers and 2 recovery 30s. She then fired the first bubbler turning the panels beneath the mettaur to ice. Next she used her main weapon to freeze the mettaur solid. Finally she calmly strode over to the mettaur and transferred the Ice in her hands up to her lips. She bent down and kissed each mettaur causing them to shatter. Edited by AquaCrystal33, Nov 15 2009, 01:30 PM.
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| Noel | Nov 9 2009, 02:10 AM Post #2 |
Noel Aramis, NetSavior ranked official, Buster Team Leader and Triumvir of the Chaos Union
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Ok, let's see.. First, you shouldn't say he was born in 1992 and is 17 years old, because the RPG doesn't happen in the year 2009. It's supposed to happen in an undefined future, meaning you can say he was born in 20XX (or something similar) and is 17 years old. The month and day of birth can be exactly defined, while the year can be as closely defined as 20XX. I've seen you've selected Aqua (Ice) element.. I was wondering if you knew you could also have a sub-element, or have you simply decided you want to be pure Aqua? As for your weapons.. Main weapon seems fine, just that I'm wondering whether it will ever be effectively used. You see, autograbbing an opponent (saying that you came up to him and grabbed him, without giving him the chance to say he dodged the grip) is not allowed here, meaning you'd probably rarely even get so close to the opponent to begin with your attack and even then he has a chance to dodge it. Why? Because you've pretty much combined the need to grab and attack (that's the kiss) in order for your attack to succeed and he has a chance to dodge both of them. So, there's a really small chance it actually will succeed at any time, unless you've somehow pinned the opponent down or made him unable to move. So, as I've said, it is approvable, though I'd recommend you to change the concept behind it a bit if you want it to be more successful. But in case you don't want to change the concept, there are still two things I need you to specify: First, you haven't specified for how long does the freeze last (I assume for 1 turn, but it needs to be specified nonetheless) and the second thing is that you've said she needs to lay her hands on male Navi's cheeks. Does that mean the attack wouldn't work on female Navis? As for your Sub-weapon.. You have to specify how long it is and for how long does it freeze when it hits. Also, even if it can be used only 3 times per custom and requires a sacrifice of an Ice chip for later use, it's still kind of strong. That's because it deals High damage AND freezes an opponent. So, you could hit him once for high and freeze him, then use a very strong Program Advance on him, without him having the chance to dodge and he'd be instantly deleted. You might want to put a slowdown instead of freeze on that, since you already have a freeze ability in your Main weapon. But when you do that, you should still rather reduce the damage just a little bit so that it will be more fair. Oh, and I can't let your Navi have battlechips as handheld weapons. As long as this feature was available to her only in the past, while it isn't anymore, it's fine, but I can't allow you to be able to actually use that. And that's everything, I believe. |
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| AquaCrystal33 | Nov 9 2009, 05:25 PM Post #3 |
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Alright. I will work on that. However I wanted the battlechips as handheld since they would inhibit the sub weapon which is the main problem for battlechips is that they inhibit weapons like the main or sub by replacing the arm you may intend to use to hold said weapon. I am redesigning my main weapon and sub weapon as I write this. |
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| Noel | Nov 10 2009, 07:44 AM Post #4 |
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Noel Aramis, NetSavior ranked official, Buster Team Leader and Triumvir of the Chaos Union
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Okay. Tell me when you're done with editing, because I see you still haven't done all the changes. You still need to change the date of birth.. Oh, and as far as I can see your weapons now, I don't think they really have any variable characteristics.. Variable is more like.. if your weapons change all the time, or if you have many different techniques in one weapon. What you have now, is pure aqua, and you might want to stick to that, unless you really want to change your weapons completely. I still can't let you use the battlechips as handheld weapons. This is mainly because later on, when you will be able to materialize your Navi in the real world, having battlechips as handheld weapons (like for example Shotgun) would look like you're an actual human with a shotgun, if you disguised yourself well enough, while if the shotgun is "attached" to your hand, it's unmistakeble that you're a Navi. Also, holding a battlechip allows you to throw the weapon away or give it to someone, which is also not allowed. The concept behind the battlechip is, that it "integrates" in your Navi's program until it is used. However, if you're afraid your main and sub-weapons could not be used because of that, I can allow you to have your main and sub-weapons as handheld weapons, instead of the battlechips. That way, they won't be unable to be used, because you'd still be able to actually hold them, because they wouldn't be integrated in your body. I'm going to wait until you finish all the changes and when you do, post here and tell me, so that I can look over it again. Oh, and looking at your new sub-weapon, the Sleep Spores.. the ability to make other Navis sleepy and drowsy and confused is something Wood Navis are allowed to do. So, I'd suggest that you have your element Aqua and sub-element Wood instead of Variable, if you want such ability. |
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| AquaCrystal33 | Nov 10 2009, 05:29 PM Post #5 |
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There. It is finished. Anyway. I changed the Element. As for the handheld, if I add the stipulation that they can't be given away or discarded and that only melee ones work? |
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| Noel | Nov 11 2009, 04:26 AM Post #6 |
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Noel Aramis, NetSavior ranked official, Buster Team Leader and Triumvir of the Chaos Union
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Nope. No hendheld battlechips. Sorry. Also, change the birth date from 30XX to 20XX. As for the Main ands Sub-weapons now that they're changed.. Main Weapon seems fine. Sub weapon is fine as well, just that you have to define how much slower does the Navi become when he is hit and how much weaker are his attacks. Don't make this too strong or you'll have to edit it again. Also, you should say how wide this attack is, because blowing a powder onto the field could either be affecting a lot of panels or maybe just the one in front of you. |
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| AquaCrystal33 | Nov 12 2009, 05:36 PM Post #7 |
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Final Edit Done. |
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| Noel | Nov 13 2009, 08:51 AM Post #8 |
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Noel Aramis, NetSavior ranked official, Buster Team Leader and Triumvir of the Chaos Union
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Ok, in your sub weapon, just say that the powder reduces any attack by 2%, but can't reduce to less than pitiful (instead of having those damage levels in the profile) and that it slows any Navi down for 5%, but that these two abilities only last for the duration of the drowsiness, which is two turns. And for god's sake, change the birth date from 30XX to 20XX, I've told you to do that twice already. If you do those changes, you're approved. |
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| AquaCrystal33 | Nov 13 2009, 10:25 PM Post #9 |
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Changes Finished. I shall use my Navi now. |
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| Noel | Nov 14 2009, 04:19 AM Post #10 |
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Noel Aramis, NetSavior ranked official, Buster Team Leader and Triumvir of the Chaos Union
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Wait, what did you do? I told you to add what I've said to the Sub-weapon, not delete what you already had and write only that! Change it back to what you had an add the part I told you to add. Because now, it makes no sense. What you've written about the drowsiness and how it affects 7 panels and everything else was all fine, it just needed a further explanation, which I have given you to add it in, not replace what you had! And, I'm telling you the third time already, change birth date from 30xx to 20xx. |
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| Noel | Nov 14 2009, 08:37 AM Post #11 |
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Noel Aramis, NetSavior ranked official, Buster Team Leader and Triumvir of the Chaos Union
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This member's profile has been approved. |
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| Noel | Nov 14 2009, 08:37 AM Post #12 |
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Noel Aramis, NetSavior ranked official, Buster Team Leader and Triumvir of the Chaos Union
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This member's profile has been approved. Please Repost profile in designated area of group. |
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12:21 AM Nov 28
