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Gus Richlen et al. feedback
Topic Started: Aug 13 2013, 01:28 PM (112 Views)
ratedgdr
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"No pointed sticks?" "SHUT UP!!!!
So, short amount of time here notwithstanding, if anybody wants to comment on what I've done thus far, feel free.
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Minister Wighty
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Chief Executive Officer
The Boss
I think you have skill, but the character seems a little stretched thin. Another term for it would be "all over the place", though it's not like he's random or anything... just reaching to a lot of different corners of his personality at once. I think once you have time to establish the character here a little more everyone will feel more comfortable with who he is, and thus, with providing feedback on what he's doing.
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Mjölnir
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We Live. We Die. We Live Again.
Wrestlers
I'm of a similar opinion as Wighty. I like what you've done so far, and I feel you definitely have a knack for this hobby. But I feel like working towards establishing Gus' character would help you out. My advice would be to focus on a specific trait and develop that before gradually moving into expanding upon his personality as a whole.

Naturally, a feud or storyline would help in that department. So, I'd try and work with whatever you can and/or chat up a few and see if they wouldn't mind working with you.

The only other thing I can think of is sometimes your RPs have felt a little bare bones. Understandable, as people get busy, but I'd try to expand them a little bit. I felt your RP for this last Vice, for example, was more towards what you should be striving for. Breaking up the text a little bit both ways, in terms of description and dialogue, and not over staying your welcome...but not leaving people going "That's it?" either.
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