Neo-Gothic Industrial Wrestling
Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Neo-Gothic Industrial Wrestling. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Hellraise '13 Feedback; FEEEEEEEEEEEEED.
Topic Started: Oct 27 2013, 09:54 PM (564 Views)
Minister Wighty
Member Avatar
Chief Executive Officer
The Boss
If you caught parts of the show earlier, you may want to check back; the Flycore match, a Dark Match promo, and some other tidbits have been edited in for your enjoyment!

Three of the biggest pay-per-view events in NGIW's history, culminating in one HELL of a show!

Thanks first and foremost to Nir; his effort for writing basically the entire show was tremendous. Thanks as well to Punkin for his rendition of the Flycore match. Tight stuff. Finally, thanks to everyone who sent in promos and roleplayed.

There wasn't much controversy that wasn't already discussed with the people involved; the judges were pretty much in accord with everything that happened. I can't get into much detail with the dark matches as there wasn't much said about any of them, but there was lots of good effort by everyone and I think we learned a lot about the various roleplayers and their strengths, weaknesses, and skill levels this month. Thanks for helping to make it a great one!

Gus Richlen vs. Zer01 - A Richlen victory here would basically be the end of the storyline and the judging team agreed that would do a disservice to what both writers have been able to come up with for this angle. We'd like to continue it for another cycle, probably having it culminate at Last Chance unless something crops up to see it continue.

Jordan Caliban vs. The Dream - What an awesome effort from both dudes! The creativity from both writers was really great, and I appreciate Punkin's efforts in writing the match. Lots of twists and turns and it was really a fun read. Ultimately the team decided to go with The Dream, partially because of the quality of his efforts being right where they belong and partially due to some of the comments Punkin/Caliban made about the Flycore. We're not too cool about devaluing ANY title here in NGIW as earning one should be viewed as an accomplishment, even in-character.

Priest vs. Mr. Creep - A shame we had to cut this match a bit short due to Will's departure, but Mr. Creep's delightful entrance more than made up for it! Bravo!

Spade vs. Ryan Campbell vs. Cody McGinnis - Some very intense and fun shit leading up to this match. In the end the management went with the camp retaining, but I'm glad there's so much interest in this division! It's been kind of ignored lately. There was an awesome idea for Punkin to have some involvement in the match and we considered using it for a while but in the end just couldn't figure out a way to work it into the match without overloading the forthcoming plans for the RCR. However, I think we can take a lot of that heat and animosity toward a specific RCR particpant and turn it into some real magic in the coming months!

Card'll be up later tonight/tomorrow morning. I need some time to assemble it and we have ONE HELL of a roster right now. The info on the NGIW Awards will be up after that.

Congrats to all the winners, better luck next time to all the losers, and thanks for making another cycle in NGIW great.

Thots?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nathan
Member Avatar
The Diamond Standard
I'll have more feedback tomorrow as my eyes are kinda burning from tiredness right now but I just wanted to say the tag team title match was awesome! I had a lot of fun roleplaying for it especially with the back-and-forth with BLS and LHT. As I had mentioned to Steve, though, I felt my roleplays were not as good as they could/should have been despite my best efforts to make them good. I felt I was lagging a bit. Hopefully everyone else enjoyed them at least.

Also thanks to both Nir and to Punkin for writing the matches they did. I thought about tossing my name into the hat to write a match but I don't think it would have been nearly as good as Nir usually puts up. I've always had some difficulty writing matches.

So yeah, more feedback tomorrow!

Edit: Feedback!

First, overall, this show was great. The main event between Joe Stanton and Intensity was amazing! The entire match was awesome and I could easily visualize it and imagine it being in a real PPV show. Then to top it off, the aftermath with Astro was kind of the icing on the cake for it all. Definitely a lot of fun to read that whole thing. I've always said I'm a big fan of Astro's so seeing him swerve everyone and take the title was pretty awesome in my book. Lol.

As I said up there ^ I definitely enjoyed RP'ing for the triple tag team match despite not feeling very good about my RP's. I enjoyed the entire back-and-forth between LHT and BLS and it was fun to show the intensity of it all with the tempers flaring and Hikou practically getting his lights knocked out by Nathaniel and Lioncock. Admittedly, I was hesitant to even have Nathaniel join in on that (despite getting the OK from Dai ahead of time) just because I didn't want it to come off like a "power play" sort of situation. So I left it with Nathaniel striking Hikou with the bottle over the had and that's it.

The RCR match was just as awesome as the main event was. Looks like The League is gonna have to wait to take control over most of the silver in NGIW. Lol. I feel like that match could have gone either way given how awesome all 3 characters are and how good each of their handlers are at roleplaying them.

It sucks that Will had to leave in the middle of this cycle but understandably, real life trumps online stuff. Glad to see The League at least keeps ONE title. :p The Midway Championship match was really good as well.

As usual it was a great show all around from everybody involved including in the RP's for the show!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Minister Wighty
Member Avatar
Chief Executive Officer
The Boss
Card is delayed while the booking team handles some management problems. Should be up tomorrow night.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Pete
Member Avatar
Belt Maker
I enjoyed my session with Jonah Cooper and it could really have gone either way. Disappointed I didn't win, but not really - Jacqui works best when she's upset and ranting!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Jo-Jo
The Snacky-Smores Guy
Just gonna be quick about it, since I know how I can get sometimes, but in absolutely no way a fan of my dark match.

--edit--
Just going to edit in my complaints on the match. First, I didn't mind the loss. In fact, I pretty much expected it. What I didn't like was everything Eve said being completely disregarded and the fact it came out as a squash match, despite effort put in from both ends.

Party on,
Joe.

~eat snacky smores~
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daisuke
Member Avatar
Who Let That Idiot Near a Computer?
Wrestlers
Stuff I liked:~

The Midnight Express - Not sure about the name, too close to Midnight Express, maybe; but if that's worst thing I've got to say about them, they're off to a good start. Bonus points for the zings they put on in that NGIW.com thread.
Bisenshi ULTRA - I think that maybe the two girls have the brightest future of the Fresh Blood: ASIA group, but right now, ULTRA is the most fun. Do like a SRS BSNS character like Setsuko when it's done well, and I think maybe she could go places, but right I'd rather SPARKLE~!
Hikou 'Percolating' in the Party - I feel that what happened is what needed to happen. It was fun stuff to write, at the very least.

Stuff I didn't like:~
Not having Internet to RP with - Sucked. Ideally would have liked to do some kind of Hikou reaction to being brained with bottles, but I didn't have the time left when I got online. Not feeling my hide promo either.
Dai's Entrances - Or lack thereof. He's a lazy ass, and needs to write some of them, soon.
The Odd Couple Retaining - Just kidding. With a team where one is clearly above the other, it can be hard to write the second partner as stepping up, and still make it work. Good show, old bean.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mjölnir
Member Avatar
We Live. We Die. We Live Again.
Wrestlers
Daisuke,Oct 28 2013
12:59 PM
Bisenshi ULTRA - I think that maybe the two girls have the brightest future of the Fresh Blood: ASIA group, but right now, ULTRA is the most fun. Do like a SRS BSNS character like Setsuko when it's done well, and I think maybe she could go places, but right I'd rather SPARKLE~!

I'd say ULTRA and Miki, but yeah, general feeling is the same on my end right now with the rather be sparkling right now than anything.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
triadred
Member Avatar
The Handsomest Boy in Professional Wrestling
Wrestlers
I figured the Zer01/Richlen match was a done deal for Sticky, which is why I'm surprised by the victory. Hopefully, at Last Chance, Zer01 will get what he has coming to him and Gus Richlen, a great character as far as I'm concerned, will move on to make good on his threats toward the League. All the same, it was great working with Sticky who is extremely cooperative. A satisfying round of role plays is just a personal message away folks!

Yay for retaining! I wouldn't mind some feedback on the Claire/Bloodbath role plays I've been submitting lately. I know they're not peoples favorite characters, which is why I'm trying to bring out some more human qualities in them, especially Claire. I was worried that the BLS and/or the Tremendous Bros were going to walk away with the win at Hellraise. Those duos are quality RPers and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fudging my huggies when I found out they were my opponents for the show!

Hat's off to Nir for doing what he does best, and that's capturing the NGIW spirit in a bottle and pouring us all a glass. And congrats to Punkin for plying his own talent. Great show all around. I especially enjoyed the party thread. Those things are always awesome.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rotinaj
Member Avatar
Belt Maker
Daisuke,Oct 28 2013
11:59 AM
Stuff I liked:~

The Midnight Express - Not sure about the name, too close to Midnight Express, maybe; but if that's worst thing I've got to say about them, they're off to a good start. Bonus points for the zings they put on in that NGIW.com thread.

Thanks for the kind words, but in my defense...
I'm fucking garbage at coming up with team names. Maybe in a show or two, I'll have actually done... something with them, and can rename them something new and fitting.

(If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to PM them to me.)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nathan
Member Avatar
The Diamond Standard
triadred,Oct 28 2013
01:07 PM
Yay for retaining! I wouldn't mind some feedback on the Claire/Bloodbath role plays I've been submitting lately. I know they're not peoples favorite characters, which is why I'm trying to bring out some more human qualities in them, especially Claire. I was worried that the BLS and/or the Tremendous Bros were going to walk away with the win at Hellraise. Those duos are quality RPers and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fudging my huggies when I found out they were my opponents for the show!

I definitely enjoyed your RP's cycle, especially the RP titled "Metal health." It kept Bloodbath's monsterish ways punching the crap out of the chair but kept his human side with the anger over BLS' comments and showed Claire's human qualities as well. Really good stuff.

I appreciate what you said about the BLS roleplays. I was struggling quite a bit this cycle so getting good feedback definitely helps me feel better about it.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Punkin
Member Avatar
JORDAN ADEUS PUNKIN CALIBAN
As far as I am concerned the statements made about me here are bullshit and I apologise if the writing team was too fucking stupid to see that I wasn't devaluing a title but trying to put a little more into winning it while still working on the stories I have been for the past month without diminishing anyone
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daisuke
Member Avatar
Who Let That Idiot Near a Computer?
Wrestlers
¬_¬
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ratedgdr
Member Avatar
"No pointed sticks?" "SHUT UP!!!!
*opens up door to fallout shelter*

Friendly bit of advice, Punkin: don't insult the people who can ensure that you job to everyone for the rest of your time here.

*dives into shelter and locks door*
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Lita Maivia
The Lovely Assistant
Wrestlers
Not a whole lot to say about the dark matches, indeed. That's not meant to offend the writing or the RPs. They just served their purpose and I don't think there's any disputing that the right people won those. The only thing I have to say is that it makes me sad Seto is dark matching. I love that character and hope he can get worked into some active in-ring storylines soon.

I've really been enjoying the Gus Richlen/Zer01 storyline that both handlers have been crafting. I can tell how much the two of you really love writing and it shows in the work you guys have been putting out with your characters. I'm glad this storyline is continuing.

I LOVED the way that April was written in her match with Setsuko. I'm really enjoying the character of Setsuko and this is giving me a lot of great material to transform April into something that I feel can compete better in this type of promotion. The interaction with Claire this week was... interesting, to say the least. I'm not sure who was more thrown off their game by Claire's unexpected behavior, me or April.

The Captain's Fall Match was AWESOME! I already knew what was going to happen, but that didn't change anything about how fun it was to read. It was sabers and pistols short of a Super Sentai meeting their first troublesome foe after smashing their way through grunts. I would've liked to see more with Aimi and KISUKE in some fashion, but it's understandable that there was very little that could be done with them in this match. I look forward to where things are going from here.

The Dream is such a fun character to read. He reminds me, in a way, of hide Kitazawa but with less science. Lol. It's almost like utter nonsense but it works in a weird kinda way that I wonder who is going to be able to shatter his entertainment value well enough to take the belt from him.

It's sad that Will had to pull all of his characters when Priest had such a good chance of ripping the Midway title from Creep. However, much like the Dream, it's a wonder if anyone will be able to disrupt the momentum that Creep has created for himself at this point.

I think this was a good outing for both Cody and Ryan, but clearly Spade just had more oomph behind his work and he's actually a hard character to topple once you manage to stir him enough to get him talking. However, despite falling short, I think Cody and Ryan gained a lot of having this tangle in the RCR division and I think we learned a lot about both characters and their handlers and can help give them opportunities that will see them shine like they're capable of.

I'm sad that hide didn't take back the Tag titles, to be perfectly honest. I like BLS but I just wasn't feeling them this week to be perfectly honest. I really like Nate and Steve as writers and I think the characters are a fun pair of rich boys in the devil's playground, but I felt like the characters don't have a lot to say while chasing the silver. My biggest gripe was that a lot of their material relies on how successful they believe they're going to be. I think the characters have a great champion personality but they are struggling a bit in challenger mode. I'd love to see how they rebound as realization hits that they might not actually be able to get everything they want. The Odd Couple is... odd to me. I've always liked Bloodbath enough but I've always struggled to get Claire. Honestly, my biggest advice for Claire is to find a personality for her that has a shelf life. I feel like she's bounced around a bit from personality to personality that I don't know her at all. So yeah, keep exploring what you want her to be and make sure it's something that you like enough to stick with.

The main-event was one of most amazing matches I've ever read. I absolutely loved how brutal Joe and Intensity got with each other in that match. It really felt like PPV caliber. A fitting main-event for Hellraise. Happy to see Intensity win the belt because I've loved that character since he first showed up in NGIW, even before he was actually an active competitor and when he was just going by Club (still my preferred name for him, actually). It's so exciting to see the culmination of his storyline with him capturing the NGIW title and the RPs surrounding it were great, although a tad brief.

I feel bad that Astro took the belt from him, but Boy assured me that he was more than OK with it going down that way. I'm excited to kick Intensity vs. Astro into high-gear and see what the two characters can do together. I don't imagine Intensity finds him a "fun dick" anymore... though, I guess stranger things have happened in NGIW.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Doomed
Member Avatar
Belt Maker
So, I really liked the card. I'm glad that fellow Extraordinary Gentleman Mr. Creep retained his belt. Out of the matches, and I'm NOT being bias, my favorite was the RCR Championship match. Yeah, I wasn't expecting to win the match with the RP I did and all (think of the cats!), but.....while reading it, I honestly thought that I had has much of a chance as the others. I hated losing, but I just love the match too much to be even a bit angry with the results. It was anyone's game, and Spade was just the better man.


As a handler, that match.....Dammit, that match makes me want that RCR so much more. I don't care how long it takes, I freaking want that belt LOL. I've been World Champion before in other feds, but never before has anything made me want a fictional belt so badly. Real talk. I feel that I'd be able to accomplish so much with the RCR, and it would be a huge feather in my cap.


Props to the rest of the card, also. I also really loved the very ending of the card, with Astro Blue cashing in. I like the character, and think he'll go far as World Champion.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nathan
Member Avatar
The Diamond Standard
Lita Maivia,Oct 28 2013
03:52 PM
I felt like the characters don't have a lot to say while chasing the silver. My biggest gripe was that a lot of their material relies on how successful they believe they're going to be. I think the characters have a great champion personality but they are struggling a bit in challenger mode.

I think that's exactly where my struggle, personally, was coming from this cycle with RP's. I've been trying to come up with better, new things for Nathaniel to say in my RP's while still trying to keep with the "rich guy" persona that Steve and I created. Naturally they do think they're the shit and try and throw their weight around like they're the kings of NGIW. That's all well and good but after saying that a few times over, it becomes a tough sell.

I see exactly what ya mean about that and I think I can speak for both Steve and I when I say he and I are definitely gonna try and mix things up a bit and I think this loss is going to give us both plenty of ideas to roll with depending on the match we get in the upcoming card. Thanks a lot for that feedback. I definitely appreciate it.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daisuke
Member Avatar
Who Let That Idiot Near a Computer?
Wrestlers
Look forward to it.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Pain
Member Avatar
Belt Maker
The entire PPV was awesome! I'm actually not good at evaluating stuff, but I know a good show when I see it.

Kinda beating myself up for the fact that I waited till the last day to put in a RP, but i can't complain. It's actually pretty good that Cody didn't get the belt just yet because there is a lot more that can be done with him. The match was great and I liked the ending, only thing that got me was when Cody begain twitching... but then again, I never gave a manual on how Cody turns into Pain.

To all the staff and people who Rped:

Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rotinaj
Member Avatar
Belt Maker
After more carefully rereading the show, I can say that it was pretty rock-solid. I will say two things, however.

For the amount of effort, time and energy that some of us on the preshow put in, ending up with one-paragraph matches that often ended up as squashes is a little lame. I had offered to write a match in the feedback thread last show, and nobody ever contacted me about it. To reiterate, I'm a really good matchwriter, and would be willing to take a match or two onto my plate. If we're talking about the opening four or five matches, hell, I'd be willing to do all of them and devote a little more wordcount to 'em. Don't get me wrong, I'm psyched that I got to be in two matches and won, but... I'd say Jo-Jo was justified in the criticism that Terri and Eve just got smushified.

The Flycore match was fun, but probably could have used a little more proofreading. There were a lot of typoes, grammar errors(Ya know, they're, their, there ones) and runon sentences. When the whole rest of the card flows real smooth writing-wise, that sticks out a little more.

On to the good talk. The flycore match was fun. It felt like a lucha match, in all the right ways. Exciting, fast-paced, and the kind of thing that lends a unique feeling to the title, which is good, 'cuz if it didn't have that, it'd just be like the old WWE European Title. A title that exists to let there be another title. This actually accomplished something.

The Captains Fall match was also a fun romp, but I seriously have no idea who half the characters in it were besides Captain Tremendous(Who is pretty baller). This new guy who came in to kick everyone's ass was fun to read about, and I did like the teasing of the team dynamic screwing up because of his presence. Interesting stuff there.

The Midway Championship match might not have been a five star classic, but I really like Mister Creep. He's a really fun character, and I love how he won.

The RCR match was a pretty awesome match, and I'm finding myself liking Spade and Ryan Campbell more and more. They had some really cool spots in the match, and I do hope that the Cody/Punkin story can have a properly epic finale, cuz I think both characters deserve it.

The Tag match was an absolute clusterfuck. That's not a bad thing, however. I liked how the tag division seems to have been thrown into total chaos by the surprise win by the Odd Couple. It feels like real wrestling, where when a team gets hot, they can come in and really shake everything up. I'm hoping my team will get injected into the mix soon, allowing for some excitement with four hot teams.

The World Title match was rad. I liked how intense it was, I liked how epic it was, it was very well constructed. I'm bummed that Joe Stanton lost the title, because I liked him a lot, but I am tickled to see a Money in the Bank style cashin that actually worked properly. I've never seen it handled well in an e-fed, so getting to see it done with the proper excitement was really cool.

All in all, a fun show to read, but I will also say that the show coulda used some segments. Maybe a promo by Astro Blue or some more pre-match promoes. I tried to get one in, but cut it too close to the wire after some lethargy set in.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Minister Wighty
Member Avatar
Chief Executive Officer
The Boss
Quote:
 
For the amount of effort, time and energy that some of us on the preshow put in, ending up with one-paragraph matches that often ended up as squashes is a little lame. I had offered to write a match in the feedback thread last show, and nobody ever contacted me about it. To reiterate, I'm a really good matchwriter, and would be willing to take a match or two onto my plate. If we're talking about the opening four or five matches, hell, I'd be willing to do all of them and devote a little more wordcount to 'em. Don't get me wrong, I'm psyched that I got to be in two matches and won, but... I'd say Jo-Jo was justified in the criticism that Terri and Eve just got smushified.


We don't really WANT to do short results (it's actually a matter of HUGE contention backstage) but with one writer it's hard to flesh out the show entirely.

I'm sorry there was a miscommunication about the matches; I expected those interested to PM me with which matches they were interested in taking and go from there. We would've loved to have your skill in the show. At the moment we're deciding whether or not we'll open the show up for writers again, but we should have an answer by the time I post the card tonight.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
ZetaBoards gives you all the tools to create a successful discussion community.
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · The Whiteboard · Next Topic »
Add Reply