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Viewing Single Post From: The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn
DerogatoryTrainer
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Greatest in the Galaxy
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*Come in HQ. This is Air Unit 3*

*No sign of priority 1 target in the vicinity of the peak. Over.*


*This is HQ, Agent Blake has been delayed by the traitor Cal, Unit 3. He should be there with the ring momentarily.*

*Continue your patrol. Be advised, priority 2 target is in the vicinity.*

Eliminate him with extreme prejudice. We can't have any mistakes this time. Over.*


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*Roger that HQ. Will keep an eye out. Over.*

Oh man...that guy's here? We really drew the short straw on this one pal.

Don't be such a coward Phil. I'm sure the stories are exaggerated.

Dude you weren't there for Coleman and Mary's autopsy...it was really bad...

Weren't they stationed in the old Yureyu building? What happened to them?

Let's just say...it was a closed casket funeral...

Fuck...this guy is-

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Hmmm?

*HQ. We have something. Standby for further information. Over.*

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What is that thing?

It kinda looks like an Inferna-

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
















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Daaaaaammmmnnn...

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That's one hell of a throw you've got Spike.

Or should I say one hell of a "Throh?"

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You think you could tell them to turn off their lens flare?

Kinda distracting.

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Baaaahhh...I'm sure Mako will be fiiii-

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...

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...

Uh-oh Spagettios?

*audience laughter*

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Pretty much sums up what's about to unfold on Meteor

Replies for you guys


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Hey there my gang of ghoulish gobshites!

Looks like we're finally here at the Season 4 Finale!

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Now as we know...last episode Blake took the Ruby Ring from me with no effort whatsoever.

It may not look it but I'm screaming quite loud internally.

And now we've got to get it back! So they can probably steal from me again.

Bet it'll be a baby that overpowers me next time.

Anyway let's get started shall we?

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So gonna take a wild guess here...

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Blake's probably heading past where that girl dropped her necklace 2 episodes ago.

And-

Wait...what's that sound?

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...

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I don't get paid enough for this...

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Hell I don't get paid at all really.

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I should talk to my agent...

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In hindsight hiring a Slowbro wasn't the best deci-

Does she have a gun?

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FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

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JASMINE USE THUNDER!

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IT'S EITHER THEM OR ME JAZZ! MAKE A CHOICE!

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HURRY IT UP THEY'RE TURNING BACK THIS WAY!!

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Haha!

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A critical hit!

It's super effective too I bet.

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What?

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No.


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Alright with that out of the way, it's time to deal with the Blues Brothers over here

geddit? cause the hair?

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Oh THERE you are Mako! What took you so lo-

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NGHHKKK?!?!

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...my face...


























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Okay...I probably deserved that...

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Bet he answered it in his usual preachy, atoning way.

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Ha!

Called it.

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I care Cal.

In the way that it fills me with blinding rage but still...

"Caring"

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Was that a Meteor with wings?

Or have I just gone insane again?

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He's probably not going to do that.

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...

"Cal"led it.

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I've not gone insane!

Team Meteor actually has fucking jetpacks!

I WANT TO SEE A FINANCIAL REPORT!

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Oh god this isn't what I think it is, is it?

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Ugh...

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Never though I'd fight side by side with this piece of trash...

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...

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We are NOT friends!

And fuck you for that reference.

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Huh...I may be under-leveled here...

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Oh well...I'm sure I'll manage.

It's me after all.

Greatest in the galaxy.

Says so right under my profile picture.

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Well that's useful.

Can't say the same about it's trainer.

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You...did your best Bouyancy...I guess...

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Not exactly enjoying my Pokemon being overshadowed by that Magmortar.

But it does cement my belief that Cal is a hacking piece of shit.

Only starters get Blast Burn you fuck!

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But Bouyancy is far from my best Pokemon.

Far FAR from the best.

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Y'see? One Punch Sawk.

Hits harder than everyone except King too.

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Are you serious Cal?

"Ohhhh let's use a fire move on the Water/Ground type! That'll beat it!"

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...

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Oh go betray your friends or something you prick.

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Ugh...

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No good with a cut attack I'm afraid.

Time to let it Snow!

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Hey Snow. Just some Meteor stooges.

I want you to battle with Cal's M-

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...

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Medicham.

Cal's Madicham.

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CAL HAS A FUCKING MEDICHAM NOW???

REALLY???


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WHY DOES HE HAVE A MEDICHAM, GAME???

DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A LITTLE BIT ON THE NOSE AFTER WHAT HE DID TO KIKI'S?

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Jesus Christ...they're really trying to shove this "redemption" arc down our throats...

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OH!

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LOOKS LIKE MEDICHAM HAS BEEN BURNED!

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SAY CAL? DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING?

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CAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING!


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Long story short we beat them handily enough.

I was going to do all the battles in this episode fully but I'm trying not to have this episode split in two like Season 3's finale.

So yeah.

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That seems to be the only thing you Meteor grunts are used for.

Slowing me down.

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Don't just let them g-

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Sigh...

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Welcome to my life Cal.

This last year has been nothing BUT chases.

Most of them involving wild geese.

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Yeah...he's going to get there.

It's where the PULSE is.

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Bet that's how he'll make his escape too.

Put us to sleep and them he absconds with the Ring.

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At least the view is nice.

It's pretty peaceful up here too.

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Aaaand there it goes...

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Hmmm...that Helicopter looks a bit different from the one earlie-

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OH FUCK ME THIS ONE HAS MISSILES!!!

UHHH...UMMMM...

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KING USE MEATSHIELD!

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COUGH! COUGH! COUGH!

KING! YOU OKAY?

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That's good to hear buddy.

Not sure if "Heh" is a proper response though.

Unless you're in an anime or some shit.

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Anyway return. Gonna put you in the box for the rest of this.

You won't be much use against Blake's Ice types.

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Just like Heather's "Elite Four" Salamence
































































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Neat!

Now where did Blake g-

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OH COME ON!

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Why is this my life?

Why.....

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Uh...okay? Go for it?

Also I thought I told you to just call me Sean.

Mister Sean is my...actually that's nobody.

Nobody has Sean for a last name!

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Besides it's not even really my n-

Are you glowing?

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...

I'm just gonna stand back here...let you do your thing...

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*HQ. We have eyes on the priority 2. Shall we engage? Over.*

*YES! Wipe that menace off the face of the earth! Over.*

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*Uhhhh HQ we're getting some pretty weird shockwaves here...*

*Shockwaves? Impossible! You're in the sky for crying out loud.*

*Yeah we...uh...thought so too but uh...*

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...

What'd you say rookie? The m-

*OH MY GOD! COME IN! HQ! COME IN! WE'RE ABOUT TO BE HIT BY THE FUCKING MOON!!*

*TELL MY WIFE AND FAMILY THAT I L-*


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GAAAAAAAHAHKKKKKKK---------

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*HQ. We quit.*

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...

...

...

...

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...

...

...

I...you...

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Y-you did great Snow!

You're the b-best!

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Haha yes...definitely...

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...

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...

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...
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...

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Why is she so adorable yet so scary?

Why?















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And we're back to this clown.

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But...you did stop...

That's why we're having this conversation...

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Hah!

Phrasing.

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HEY FUCK Y-

Oh wait you were talking about Blake.

YEAH WHAT A PRICK!

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You know we COULD split up right?

I go after Blake and you deal with the cannon fodder?

You know. Something you can actually beat?

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I though I killed these guys...

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HA!

How did I miss that the first time?

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One day we'll learn how you can dive underwater with not a drop of it in sight.

One day...

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Ah dick.

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Yep just keep using that hax move there Cal.

I mean Magmortar should learn it really being a walking volcano but still...fucking hacker.

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Ugh...really wish we aimed for the Golem...

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So we're not doing to hot right now.

Golem is a right pain with Tailwind blowing.

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But we're back on top.

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And immediately back to the bottom.

Fuck.

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I swear Dive is the only reason Bouyancy is still alive right now.

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OH SHIT.

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Wait...Earthquake only destroys Dig right?

It's Surf and Whirlpool that fuck up Dive...

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I shall take that as a yes.

Or a condescending "duhhh"

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Also I've just noticed Dive doesn't make the Pokemon disappear.

Hmmm.

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Huge Power is a hell of an Ability.

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Uhhh...

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Yeah I have no idea why I sent out Snow...

I played this too long ago to remember.

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Oh what the hell.

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Fire is 4x effective! That should have roasted it in it's shell!

Fucking great...and I have to fight Blake on this mountain?

Guess he needs all the help he can get...

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Right bored now. Skip.

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At least Acrobatics is amazingly strong on this mountain.

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Oh...CLEARLY.

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I probably shouldn't have played this section during the summer months...

Kinda robs from the immersion...

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I need a fan going to stay cool for crying out loud...

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Ahhh those crafty devils...waiting for another Solar eclipse to escape...

Lot of eclipses lately...

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Oh great...it's the prodigal child Heather.

What a blessing this is.

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Bet she forgot the bad parts.

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My god your Salamence sucks.

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My Pokemon have taken down at least 12 of them and we're stuck on the ground!

GET A BETTER POKEMON ALREADY!

MAYBE ONE THAT WON'T LOSE TO A DOOR!

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Yeah me too!

Killing people is fun!

Especially when we let 9 year olds do it!

does nobody else see the problem with this?

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Ah what am I worrying about?

Salamence probably can't even scratch the helicopters...

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...

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Pfffffttt.

Sure Cal.

Whatever you say.

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How about you don't tell me what to do?

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Fuck them. I'm joining this air battle too!

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Buuuuuut I don't have any aerial Pokemon...like...AT ALL.

None in the box either...

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Wait a minute...Floatzels can fly right?

They have two tails! Meaning they can use them as makeshift helicopter blades!

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Stop lying Bouyancy!

I know you can fly!

I saw it in the anime!

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See?

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Well that was a Buizel but still...

TIME TO FLY!

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WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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IT'S WORKING! I KNEW IT!

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NOW! SET A COURSE FOR THE NEAREST METEOR COPTER!

TIME TO SET THE SKIES ON FI-

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...uh oh...

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BOUYANCY WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEEEEEEEE!!!????


























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Once again I have miraculously survived a fatal injury.

Just like that train bomb.

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And hey while we're doing call-backs to episode 1...

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HNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

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GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

You guys remember that right?

Lost my arm then too.

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And I never explained it either!

God...Season 1 had a lot of early installment weirdness didn't it?

I'm mean this show is still weird but that one takes the cake...

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You know I think this is the most normal season from my point of view.

Like everything in the game is batshit but at least I'm not blasting everything with a wand you know?

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Well some of us aren't privileged enough to own any flying types Shelly!

Or have 9 year old Elite 4 best friends!

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Ugh...

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That's great and all Shelly but would you mind turning around?

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GET IN THE EVA SHELLY!

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There we go...

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...

I should really stop leaving Bouyancy in first

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Well Spike took a few hits...nothing major...

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WHAT?

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WHY WOULD YOU NAME SOMETHING AFTER CAIN?

HE'S THE REASON WE'RE IN THIS MESS!

HIM AND HEATHER!

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Let's just get this over with then.

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Anna huh?

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I guess that makes sense...she's around your age and a nice girl...

You've named one after me too right?

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Another two bite the dust.

Or snow.

Whatever.

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Bitch.

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Right let's switch someone in.

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...

Wha?

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I think that Dusclops used Infestation on you.

Tch...that's annoying...

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Well let's heal you up and end this already.

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Eh fuck showing it.

We won easy when Infestation wore off.

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Yes...the element of surprise...

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We certainly weren't expecting to find any Meteors on this mountain.

No sir.

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Gah! All these eclipses working in Meteor's favour!

Well...one of them isn't anymore...

SHE DED.

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I AM KILLING THEM AS FAST AS I CAN SHELLY!

DON'T RUSH ME!

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I suppose I could give this to Snow for the Pixellate boost?

I mean Hyper Beam or Hyper Voice would be more useful...

We'll see.

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Aha! Shelly's got Blake cornered!

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...

Who wants to bet he runs away again through that cave?

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And some of us mean that literally!

Because I don't want that fucking thing near me anymore.

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Awwwww....

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They think they're a threat...

Isn't that cute?

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Mmmm...still wary of that guy...

Especially seeing as he's the only one who ever beat me...

Well I would have beaten him...if y'know I knew he would have a lvl 75 Garchomp...

Blind runs aren't fun in fan-games. More terrifying than anything else...

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Oh are you still being a douchebag?

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That's right run away you little girl.

Actually that's an insult to little girls.

Run away you Fern knock-off.

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Fucking Blern...

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Right Shelly! Let's take them down-

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-together.

Huh.

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Eh might as well y'know?

Gotta train you up to fight Terra at some point!

I'll bring you back now though.

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'Cause it's time for some Jazzercise!

yeah

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Build dem defences.

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Let Scoliopede do damage.

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AND THEN STRIKE!


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Nice.

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Shit.

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That's not so nice.

It's days like today that almost make me wish I was fighting one of the other teams.

Worst I'd have to deal with then would be a few Rattatas and Koffings...

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Ohhhhhh...

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I probably should have trained more for this...

But the level cap is 70 here. What more do they want from me?

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Oh great...a Volbeat. We're saaaaaved...

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I am not letting anyone die in this season finale even if it kills me.

Although then technically someone would die...

Hmmm.

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Huh...didn't know Volbeat could do that.

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Oh wow look. It's the worst fossil Pokemon.

I mean Rock/Water was always a terrible typing in my book.

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*yaaaaaawwwnnnn*

Nobody was surprised about that.

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Whoa-ho!

That's a bit more interesting...

But no way does Jasmine stay out against them.

I'm already pushing it with the Steelix being out.

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Well now that Volbeat's powered u-

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Nevermind. Still weak.

Seriously how can someone have an inferiority complex to BUGSY of all people?

He's garbage.

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And away goes the Grastronaught.

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Damn Shelly's getting the shit kicked out of her.

Maybe I should help?

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Spike won't be anyway.

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Yeah sure buddy.

And I'm a kind and loving trainer.

That Crobat would have destroyed you.

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At least Anna the Venomoth is up to snu-

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...

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...

I should probably stop saying her Pokemon ain't so bad.

They seem to die right after.

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But hey we'll get to see Shelly's last Pokemon!

And I bet it's a Scizor named after m-

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...

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...

It's a fucking Illumise.

And it doesn't even HAVE a nickname!

What the hell Shelly?

I thought you were alright!

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Sigh...

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Kiki use Power Gem.

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No.

Not on a Steel type.

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Clearly we're not friends Shelly.

So I don't need your damn help.

I'll beat his last three Pokemon with just one!

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Not this one though.

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This one!

Let's show her how a real trainer does things, Mako!

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...

shut the fuck up Mako

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Ugh...well I said one Pokemon...

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Pfff...no worries then.

Mountain-top Acrobatics is instant death.

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Y'see? Instant.

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That's because you suck.

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I doubt I'll be too late.

The game will just screw me over somehow to prevent me from winning.

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...

Are you fucking serious?

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So on a scale of 1-10...

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How bad of a person would I be if I let her go and get killed?

...

Tch...I suppose she doesn't really deserve it.

It's probably impossible to name a Pokemon after a player anyway...

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Don't worry Shelly...I'll be back after I get some Ultra potions or something...

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Oh for fuck's sake...

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HELICOPTERS AGAIN GUYS?

CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL FOR ONCE???

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Oh.

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Well that's impressive...

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...seriously?

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You should listen to your friend Jim.

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Ha!

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There won't be any dreams where you guys are going...

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Now then...

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LET'S FUCKING DO THIIIIIIS!!!!!!

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WOW.




















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That sure was an epic battle...

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Would of been a damn shame if someone was too lazy to show it...

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...




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Aaaaanyway...

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Bwuh?

Who the hell is calling me?

Shelly?

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I guess it came from this direction?

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Kinda on a schedule here game...

Maybe hurry it up?

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...?

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And who is this?

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Asster? The hell is he doing here?

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OH GOD! WHY WOULD I WANT THAT???

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Oh...

Yes I would like that thank you.

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Well...nothing really...I'm just confused as to why we're doing this?

I mean you clearly WANT me to have it...but...

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Alright fine. Let's do this.

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So many damn battles today...

I haven't really had many in the last 3 episodes.

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Well I missed it fully but now he has Reflect going.

Ain't that just great?

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Gotta make him waste reflect turns and healing items.

I'm great at the old tictacs.

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Blam.

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Eh Hydro Pump should do it.

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Orrrr not.

Well best finish it off and switch.

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Uh...missed a few shots here too but thanks to Rhyperior's awful Spdef...

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Kiki took him down easy.

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Ah don't flatter yourself too much Kiki.

It missed twice.

And used Earthquake for some reason...

Still good work though. You're a decent 'mon.

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Wait Milotic?

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I thought Milotic was Eclipse's?

Eh...guess that's just me being sexist about girls having pretty Pokemon.

Which isn't true seeing as I have a Pokemon made of literal bows and frilly things.

And she's great.

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Speaking of great...

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Aw yeah.

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Actually wait...does this Milotic have Marvel Scale?

Then I think I just boosted it's defense...

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Ah well.

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Not like it matters with Jasmine wrecking it so badly.

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Oi! Stay there and let me beat you!

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Or don't actually.

This has worked out very well for me

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And the coup de grace...

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Nice.

Jasmine is awesome.

Fuck Tiers.

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Oh ha ha ha.

You're SO funny.

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Now return. You aren't much help against another Electric type.

Tch...I forgot I left King in the box...

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But uh...Spike can handle it apparently.

That was a monster crit.

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I'm sorry too...

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SORRY YOU SUCK SO BAD OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Ahem.

Sorry for your loss.

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Hooray! I can finally save Titania and Amaria!

How long has it been?

...

3 months?

...

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I may need to bring some body bags with me...

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Uh...

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Okay?

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NYEH!

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...

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You probably should have said that before I pushed you.

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Giving me things is always right.


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I'm so happy to hear this...Meteor won't change this world for the better...

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I WILL.

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You really picked a bad person to test that out on.

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Siiiighhh...seems like a lot of effort though...

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...

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Well that was...oddly moving...

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Hell I think it even motivated me a little.

...

Time to end this.

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Ah.

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I forgot about the Onix.

SPIKE!

YOU THREW IT UP HERE SO YOU THROW IT DOWN!


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...

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I...

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We're on a mountain.

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How did this GET here?

Ugh...let it go Sean...you have shit to do.

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Yep.

The three of us could be in a sitcom at this rate.

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Eh. No big deal.

Ice types and bugs don't mix well.

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Haha why don't you...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Go fuck yourself?

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AH THE VS SIGN IS ATTACKING!

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Would he now?

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Well let's not disappoint him then!

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Hmmm Rotom and a J-

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OH FUCK! NOT A JYNX!

MAKO KILL IT!

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Ohhhh thank god...

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Afraid? Who are you calling afraid?

I'm not afraid of any J-j-j-j-j...

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J-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-

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I'm okay now.

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I think.

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Yeah Boiiiii

...

-ancy.

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UM.

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You'll give that back right Blake?

Right?

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Eh Mako's done his part.

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But I am a fan of punching so out goes Spike.

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Bunch of drunks...

SHE'S UNDERWATER IDIOTS!

ON THIS MOUNTAIN PEAK.

THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE OKAY?

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Annnnd that's one problem out of the way.

Probably bring in Kiki to finish Froslass off.

And me Bouyo should come back too.

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Double switch!

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Double fuck!

Kill it Kiki!

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Sweetness.

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And can Jasmine secure the Double-KO?

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Ahhhh well close enough...

Edited by DerogatoryTrainer, Aug 27 2016, 11:25 AM.
A Most Excellent Journey Of Pain And Misery

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Another world, another Terribly Titled series : Pokemon Rejuvenation

It's easy as 1, 2, 3! A Rising Ruby Alphabet-Locke!
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The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn · Completed Screenshot and Written Log Runs