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Viewing Single Post From: The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn
DerogatoryTrainer
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Greatest in the Galaxy
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Well...that's the last time I go to an off-world wedding.

Everybody got squanched up...

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Huh? Oh it's you guys.

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How's it going?

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Ooooh a shiny new title card...

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Ahoy you scurvy bastards!

How fares ye?

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Nice title card eh?

Took me a whoooooole minute.

But enough about that let's get cracking!

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Oh I forgot this is what we're doing now.

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It's just a lovely coinkydink isn't it?

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*Insert tasteless Corey joke here*

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I wonder if anyone told her that her Dad is mostly liquid yet?

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Well there's a tidbit to a backstory I don't care about.

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Plot progression key. Gimme.

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Mnnnnnnn...

It's been a while since a guy hit on me in this game...

I was enjoying the reprieve so much...

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Lovely. Now how's about you give me the key without challenging me to a pointless battle?

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"Neh"? The fuck is a "Neh"?

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NEH!

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I've said it before but I'll say it again.

How do you see anything with that fringe?

It's wider than your face.

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Well if it isn't my old friend...We should catch up!

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Just as soon as you get out of the hospital...

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Look we all know how this battle is going to go down so I'm gonna fast forward alright?

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Bam.

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AND I'M NOT USING LUBE!

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Wait what the fuck did I just say?

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Well good job everyone and congrats on your first battle Alphonse

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Hehehe we're gonna get on fine.

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I agree. To a long partnership!

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Hold it right there ya ponce. No more flirty comments thanks

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Oh you meant her.

Oh it's Heather.

Oh that Corey comment was badly timed.

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Hiiiiii Heather...

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Way to not sound creepy there Cain.

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You 10 yet?

If not fuck off back to your empty house.

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"HI MY NAME'S CAIN. ISN'T BEFRIENDING YOUNG GIRLS TOTALLY COOL?"

"DON'T WORRY I'M DEFINITELY NOT A SEXUAL DEVIANT CLAD IN PURPLE I SWEAR"

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But she does name her terrifyingly ugly bug after you so...

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"In order to get away from you I, Heather, am going to go to a location you suggested"

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I'm starting to think I should make "Heather Logic" a thing.

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Or anything else in that direction. I mean we're as north as we can go for now.

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That doesn't really fit here you dick.

She's flying on her Salamence, her house is literally 100 meters to the right and
everything bad in her life is her fault for being born. So yeah.

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Yep so hand over the key and we'll part ways for another long time yeah?

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You literally just have to reach into your pocket and throw it to me.

Don't make me remind you of the last guy who welched out of a deal with me Cain.

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Aaaaaand he just leaves.

*Sigh*

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This whole mess is your fault Corey.

I'm going to piss on your grave next time I'm here.

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And it's back into civilized country we go

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Gonna leave that thing alone for now.

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Some grinding might be in order...for one 'mon in particular...

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Finally!

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Time to get out of your teenage bullshit and become a man Tayto!

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Finally...you aren't completely shit anymore

I-it brings a happy tear to my eye...

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I haven't done one of these team thing in a while so here ya go

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And we're back to this shit.

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*Inhales*

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*Exhales*

So how are you guys doing?

School going okay?

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Yeah school's greaaaaat...

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Well thank god for that!

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Friggin angsty 8 year old and their bullshit

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GODDAMMIT CAIN! THIS WAS OUR ONE CHANCE TO LEAVE!

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Granted she's scared of everything but still...indoor voices girl.

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Great job Cain! You've crushed Heather's last pillar of support!

An action even I deem "A bit much"

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The more I deal with her the more I see why Corey offed himself.

I'm actually surprised he lasted as long as he did.

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Good luck getting past a grown man and his flamboyant purple dinosaur!

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Well...that was humiliating...


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...

Can we let her?

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And the Heather pity party is off...

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I wish I could just take a long nap and wake up after all this crap is done.

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But alas, A "hero's" work is never done...

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GREAT!

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WE JUST HAD TO RUN INTO THE WACKJOB DOCTOR WITH A TORTURE FETISH!

WE JUST HAD TO!

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Atta girl Heather! Antagonize the man. That'll solve it

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This girl is like 80% "Ugh"

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Well if her welcher father is anything to go by...

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Sorry you've worked "hours" for that title?

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Guess he took a short cut to get that 7 year doctorate huh?

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I have a feeling Connal's gonna break...whatever that was up.

And I also have a feeling that I'm relating more to the bad guys...

Hm.

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Oh boy I don't like where this is going...

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That'd be me. Her Dad foisted her on me.

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I mean as much as I don't want her...I want you to have her less.

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...

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Cain's over there.

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Well I didn't screen shot his solution apparently but I think you guys are smart enough to figure it out

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Ooooooh that's gotta sting...

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And she goes in for the killing blow!

DerogatoryTrainer greatly approves


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Then why make it seem like she does?

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Oh here they go about this "capability" nonsense again.

I'm mean what's wrong with letting a baby breastfeed off a cow?

It's no different than letting my ex-wife do it.

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Actually I'm her new parent.

I've finally accepted it because it can't be worse than listen to you drone on

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Uhhhh...

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God fucking damn it Corey.

You should have signed the adoption forms before taking a swim in concrete.

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Guess we'd better stop them...ughhhhhh...

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I'm sorry you thought that would threaten me?

Of all people...ME?

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I'm literally the worst non-Meteor criminal in this damn city

Aside from you of course but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're in league with Team Meteor.

Maybe they're powered by the screams of children or something like in Monsters Inc

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And to you sir!

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You are the last person I want talking about what's inside people's butts

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UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

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Well there goes my hopes of doing this without Cain...

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Right get it all out of your system Shelly

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Look you guys...

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It's BOTH your faults but we can't dwell on that now

No matter how much I want to.

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Great thing to say after you verbally trapped her into siding with you

I mean what was she supposed to say?

"No I want Heather to be meaner to me?"

You big purple dildo.

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AND NOW HE'S FUCKING SINGING "BEST FRIENDS"

COULD THIS BE ANYMORE STUPID?

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Nope fuck you.

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I'm going to take my life after this episode ladies and gentlemen.

Corey was right all along. He knew he'd run into Cain eventually so he preemptively killed himself

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Okay hold up a minute he's not thinking that through.

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Nobody is going to send Shelly to jail.

Not even the coldest judge

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They're never going to take me alive

Only dead with massive civilian casualties

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"Pretty Boy Cain" won't last a day in prison.

I mean have you SEEN Cain? Even I'll admit he's pretty and deny it if you ever mention it again

They'll trade him like cigarettes.

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I'm sure she's fiiiine...





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Um...

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Oh...oh shit...

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SHUT THE FUCK UP CAIN! WE'VE GOT TO SAVE HEATHER NOW!

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OPERATION SAVE HEATHER IS GO!

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FUCK!

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My gun won't get through the steel doors...

Guess I'll have to use my trump card...

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I know I left it in here somewhere...

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There you are you beauty...right under my Florina shrine.

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HNNNGH

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D-didn't know dirty bombs were so friggin heavy...huff...

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Phew~


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Okay let's save Heather!

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Just gotta set this to blow aaaaaand...

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A noise?

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*sighs*

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Hi Anna! I was hoping you'd all be asleep!

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It's probably because I've slept next to a radioactive bomb for a few months now

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Oh right introductions.

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This is Cain. He's extremely annoying so you'll probably get on great...

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And this is Shelly she's kind of shy and a bit of a downer but she's better than most.

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Bet you're popular at funerals.

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They're responsible for getting her locked up here.

I'm here because I'm a good person.

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Excuse me what?

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No...please no...

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SHELLY COVER YOUR EARS!

FUCKSHITFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKASSFUCKSONOFABITCHGODDAMNMOTHERFUCKING


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This...

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This is what I'm going to be doing for the rest of the game isn't it?

Babysitting these fucking orphans...

Even though they're allegedly stronger than me...

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Fuck.


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I assumed it was some sort of electric torture device...

Well I hoped it was actually.

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This is it guys. The run ends here with Orderly Timothy.

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Or he goes down like bitch.

I mean who could have predicted a faceless mook wouldn't suck?

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The hell are you surprised about?

You're a Gym Leader. I'd think you could take reject nurses.

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Well that's going to annoy me.

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This girl...give me strength...

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I understand now.

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Anna belongs in this asylum. She's fucking crazy.

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Well clearly you haven't been looking at me then.

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ANNA VISION

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ANNA VISION

Oh.

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*unintelligble sobbing*

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Or me, you and Shelly could just wipe them out in a minute or so...

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"Smart"

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Using the most basic strategic maneuver to use when facing multiple opponents is "smart" apparently.

I suppose to an idiot like Cain it would be...

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Aha! Will a worthy foe taste my martial prowess?

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Nope. Cowards teleported away.

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Oh are we teaming up Shelly?

It's better than Cain that's for sure.

Speaking of the bollocks...

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SHELLY RUN!

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Well I spared Shelly one of Cain's innuendos at least

I better look for Dr.Connal

Best place to start is beating up his staff I guess.

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Riiiiiight...

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"I strongly disagree with these methods I carry out on a daily basis without complaint"

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Yeah kid. Shelly's too nice.

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Follow my example instead. Together we will bathe in orderly blood!

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Fuck.

Let's ask Anna.

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Maybe you should do something about it then?

Like report Connal to someone?

I mean Ame probably doesn't approve of you guys electrocuting orphans

or she does and this game just got terrifying

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Okay Anna you got one smile out of me.

Let's see if you can go for two.

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ONWARD!


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Just so you guys know that battles are happening

They just aren't interesting.

And my god this update is fucking huge enough already

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Jesus could you pick a better time to have this self-reflection moment Shells?

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Ame!

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Yeah I am! Turns out he's been torturing these poor chi-

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Yeah but the tortu-

Actually wait a couple of kids beat up your entire would-be gym leader list?

You mean Noel and Anna I presume because I heard Charlotte inherited her gym position.

Which by the way is fucking stupid.

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"AGAIN" she says.

Implying this has happened before

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Here now, Clefable's a Fairy type I don't give a shit whether or not it's a wildcard.

That's against the loosely defined Poke-Rules

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For shame Amethyst.

For shame.

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Hey thanks but I've gotta go save some annoying orphans so I'll see you in the next gym Ame!

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Data Chip?

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The fuck does this do?

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UHHHH we're 3/4 of the way gang...

why did I do this in one sitting?

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Oh god that sentence had a possible boner refere-

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THERE IT IS!

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YOU LIKE MAD DICK! WE GET IT!

MOVING ON!

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I'm afraid something's "barring" our way.

That was the first pun ladies and gent

That's how bad this episode is hurting me.

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Great. Imma go find Heather.

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Do...do I know you?

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Seriously who the hell is this guy?

His pre-battle dialogue is more than just an inane sentence

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Oh well isn't that convenient for you?

"Our responsibility to the children of Reborn will not be shaken"

"So we'll fill them with lightning until they get better"

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OH GOD IT'S ORDERLY JOHN!!!!

He was beaten quite badly.

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And I'm probably helping it overflow with this fucking orphan rescue bullshit.

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Great! Now the children are free and bursting with gratitude.

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Oopsie daisy I did that thing where I say something and then the opposite thing happens immediately after.

Jesus I am really salty this episode.

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NOBODY IS SAFE KID

ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M WITHIN STABBING RANGE

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MORE FUCKING KEYS!

MORE TALKING TO ANNA

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Wow that's so impressive

*clap*

Not like I've been doing that all this time

*clap*

Not like I would like some fucking recognition for doing this against my better judgement.


















*clap*

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Oh fuck off.





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Ah. Our hero. Look at him fearlessly battle a Voltorb and a Spoink.

Such bravery.

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Finally.

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Okay. It's not like I want you to leave.

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Open the cage Shelly. I want to get this over with.

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I'm good. You're mediocre at best.

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Honestly Charlotte? I don't think Cain has any actual friends

Cause lord knows people with friends don't burst out singing at the drop of a hat.

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CHARLOTTE WHAT THE HELL YOU CAN'T SAY THE D WORD!

Rule one of Disney. Don't fuck with the mouse.

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Charlotte...please reconsider...if he latches on to you I'll be free!

And isn't that all that matters?

Me?

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God DAMN it game.

Stop trying to make Good Trainer Cain happen

It's not going happen.

And now you've made me reference Mean Girls. Well done.

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Cool...why am I doing this again?

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Oh Mr.HeyILikeYourDick has standards does he?

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Well...that's distressing...

I bet he's a swell guy deep down.

I should let him out

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Hehehe okay that cheered me up a bit.

Shelly is my favourite out of all these losers

By a huge margin

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Yes. 3 people overran your over staffed orphanarium.

Seriously why are there so many of you and why are you all men?

Men never go into childcare jobs.

Although I'd imagine a kind lady might have spoken up about the brutal torture...

You guys are just assholes.

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Bitch don't treat me like your attack dog

I call the shots around here.

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Now open the storage or I'll tear you to pieces!

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See? I follow my own path.

Even though that's a desperate lie as I would have abandoned you all the first chance I got.

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Glad you got your cigarettes.

But since you're underage and since I'm a narc whenever I feel like fucking people over I'll confiscate them later.

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Okay stop.

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Just...stop it game.

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Why the hell do you keep telling me how good Cain is?

He's not.

I beat him without breaking a sweat at the start of this god-damn episode.

Maybe my standard's are a little high but the last 4 people have fucking commented on Cain's badassness

And I'm actually doing stuff while he holds back 4 fucking guards.

I hate this place.










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Thanks for cheering me up kid. I appreciate it.

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Good luck.

And I mean that.


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Now we can finally get Heather and get the hell away from this cesspool of idiocy

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Oh fuck look's like everyone's wearing their game faces.

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*COUGH* TRY HARD *COUGH*

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Yeah you mind stopping that there?

Her convulsions are very distracting.

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And yet here you are stealing the attention.

We've only met twice but I'm guessing you do this a lot.

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Hmmmmm....

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Yes.

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Some other variation of "Let Heather go"

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Oh god she kissed him

That's disgusting

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CONNAL HAS COOTIES! CONNAL HAS COOTIES!

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Oh.

Well now I feel silly.

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OH BOO HOO HOO. MY BACKSTORY IS SO SAD AND THAT'S WHY I'M AN ASSHOLE

Fuck off Charlotte I don't care.

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She's...not talking?

Holy shit maybe this electro therapy works.

I mean I feel better about it.

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Joke's on you! I'm an undercover cop!

One of Reborn's finest!

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Well...I WAS.

I mean you hit the Chief's son with your car a few times and somehow they brand you a menace.

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FINALLY! See you Siggy! Tell the Chief I said Hi!

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Well that's gratitude for you

GO FUCK YOURSELF!

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That's OUR word you can't use it!

I'm not a Slowking in disguise I swear

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NOEL! IF CAIN SAID "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" KICK HIM IN THE NUTS!
























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Oh my god it's finally over.

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This episode nearly killed me folks.

I mean I was already insane but I think this episode made me so mad I went sane again

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What'll happen next time on the Adventures of Sean and Co?

Will Mako get his High School Diploma?

Will Sickle stop being the best?

Spoiler: click to toggle


Will Sean get that heart transplant surgery he desperately needs?

Will the next episode be less than 602 images? It fucking better!

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FIND OUT NEXT WEEK ON : I'M SLOWLY GROWING A TUMOR BECAUSE OF THIS SHOW!







Oh yeah Brb gonna jump off a bridge.



Edited by DerogatoryTrainer, Oct 9 2015, 08:48 PM.
A Most Excellent Journey Of Pain And Misery

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Another world, another Terribly Titled series : Pokemon Rejuvenation

It's easy as 1, 2, 3! A Rising Ruby Alphabet-Locke!
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The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn · Completed Screenshot and Written Log Runs