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Viewing Single Post From: The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn
DerogatoryTrainer
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Greatest in the Galaxy
Everyone died.

The end.
That was a top tier April fools joke.

Well...not really...

Okay here's the real next episode...

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It'll make sense later on...embarrassing sense...

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Right enough dicking about!

Time to save Luna from that scum-bastard El!

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Huh?

But I walked into a building didn't I?

Didn't expect to go straight into the city walls...

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Glowy rock gave me a few shards but nothing else

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I went and bought some after whomping Craudberry

So why not use it here?

although this "blast powder" is a bit..."sparklier" than I thought it would be...

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Why the commas?

Unless...

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Yeah...best not...

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OH GOD WHERE AM I????

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Hah...hah...I think I'm good now...

Don't do drugs kids.

Although I really hope no kids actually watch this show...

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And there's our lovable idiot who just left the fucking door open for me.

What a swell gu-

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Wha-

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You-

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I...uh...see you have company over Bennett!

Well don't mind me I'll just be leaving now then okay?

Oka-

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Shit.

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...

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Well fucking played game.

I actually thought he WAS stupid enough to do that.

You got me good.

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Hey man it's not about the bugs.

It's your hair. It defies gravity.

This isn't a god-damn anime you know.

and your personality but we'll get to that

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Because people with bright futures always start out by joining a "magic deer" cult that likes kidnapping young girls for their jewelry

Flawless logic there mate.

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NOT LIKE THERE'S A MANAGER IN CHARGE OF THAT OR ANYTHING!!!

I'm fairly sure all you need to become part of the Reborn league is either a history of criminal activities or be off your rocker.

El here happens to have both.

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Ohhhh there's another mention of the ritual...

And now it's even worse with the "purification" part

Does nobody else's "bad touch" radar light up when he said that?

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Yes.

That little nuisance that's torn his way through a region-wide terrorist cell, kept the Macguffins from you and...oh yeah!

BEAT YOUR FUCKING GOD INTO THE GROUND!

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...

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Well I'm all for the first half of that procedure.

Shit can I sign up for it too?

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...

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Awww...




























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I WANT MY PHONE CALL YOU BASTARDS!

I'M GONNA CALL...

SHIT I DON'T HAVE ANYONE WHO'D CARE ENOUGH TO BAIL ME OUT!

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I'll just bide my time then.

I've got a bookcase in here at least...

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Ugh...what was I expecting really?

Harry Potter?

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From what I can tell that means to be born of Arceus?

Maybe?

It's a dead language for a reason after all.

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Uhhhh hey there?

I'm the Derogatory Trainer.

No doubt you've heard the stories about me.

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That's...really sad and all pal but I'm not in this city to tackle hunger and poverty.

I'm here to tackle magic cats and the like.

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Uhhh I'd take it with a grain of salt if I were you Randall.

Well...maybe a ton of salt.

It's utter bullshit is what I'm saying.

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Well there's no need to go back to the candy...

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When the candy can come to you!

Now say my name.

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Uh no they left.

Also I get you're from "the streets" and all but even you have to know that "rightly" isn't...well the right thing to say there.

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Ha!

Now that's a good use of a Klefki!

Almost wish I had one.

Meh...it's not like I'd get to use it like that anyway...

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I'll say.

But I'm willing to bet it's more due to this cult's incompetence than luck.

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Like what?

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FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

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Thanks mate.

You're a true diamond in the rough.

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Hmph.

He wasn't kidding about them being a Mukload...

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I think I know what I have to do though.

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Commencing Virtuous Mission!

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What a thrill~

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With darkness and silence through the night~

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What a thrill~

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I'm searching and I'll melt into you~

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What a fear in my heart~

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But you're so supreme~

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I give my life~

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Not for honour, but for youuu~

Snake Eater...

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In my time there'll be no one else~

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Crime, It's the way I fly too youuu~

Snake Eater...

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I'm still in a dreeeeeeaaaammm Snake Eater~

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Awww...










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Well that impromptu music number made sneaking through easier.

Let's go save Luna!

Something I've been saying far too much lately...

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FUCK! I JINXED IT!


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Is this not the way to the Sanctum?

How did they all miss me when they passed by?

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Well no need to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I'll try the side rooms I didn't go through earlier.

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Shit.

Maybe the right is open?

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Shit.

Books.

RELIGIOUS BOOKS.

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Best take off my cool bandana and get reading then...

whaddya mean it's a scarf?

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Someone should notify the Catholic church that El's been ripping off their shit.

Although I imagine the copyright ran out a good few thousand years ago.

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Six?

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Wait what?

What the fuck are gold and ivory?

Topaz and Diamond?

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There's two MORE of these Macguffins?

But...who has them...and why haven't they been mentioned before now in this missable book?

Maybe I'm reading too much into this?

I hope so cause it's making me genuinely worried...

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I figure the numbers at the end are important somehow...

The rest of them are mostly mumbo jumbo anyway

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Well I guess that's where El got his "cure" from.

Wonder who life to the lost refers to...

I hope it's Sickle.

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WHOAAAAA

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I think Arceus needs to fucking chill!

There's some risky stuff in these books...

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At least that was the last of them...

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But now I need to find a way through this gate...thing...

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Make me, fucker.

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GAH!

I'll repent if you turn down your fucking lights!

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It's also nice to not be beaten into the ground.

...

It's a shame what's about to happen.

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Eons passed...visions of eons...

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Ah yes I believe that is Arceus 38-27?

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Bingo.

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I've got it all memorized by heart you see.

...

That and I've taken pictures.

I've never been more glad that I'm doing a screenshot run.

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Just gonna scoot past this guy...

And then accidentally run into him on my way back of course.

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Bing.

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I definitely remember this one anyway...

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I've only got one more statue to go so I think I'll go heal my team before I solve it just in case.

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Ah jeez this guy thinks he's mugging me.

Joke's on him, I'm broke!

Haha!

...

ha...

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HE TOOK MY DRUGS?!?

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oh you do not mess with my product

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I won't have one in a few minutes...

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Spike?

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Break his legs.

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Thank you for returning my "product"

And by now I think most of my viewers know where this faux-politeness is going.

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One for the money.

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And two for the show.

Have a nice day.


























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Well with cold blooded murder out of the way let's go sa-

No.

I'm fucking sick of saying that.

Let's fuck up El's plans!

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Curses. A climbable gate!

My one weakness!

Mild exercise!

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Oh noooooo...

Which one is the real Spi-

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Oh yeah. The one closest to me...

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Anyway put in the code and...volia!

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I don't know how I'm seeing this but the room through that wall just got brighter.

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OH SHIT.

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DAMN! I knew it'd be bad but freaking chains?

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Fimupdent you might say...

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Why am I making jokes?

This is actually quite distressing...

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Don't worry Luna! The hero has arrived!

I mean I took my time but here I am!

Heroically!

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Ew no!

I don't want to watch him!

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Ohhhhh I didn't see the full stop there.

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Oh hi Cain!

Glad you aren't dead!

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I'm fairly sure you can guess what the beginning of that sentence was...

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I know right?

It's like a nerdy Saiyan crossed with emo kid hair dye.

'S not a great look.

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Remember what happened last time you said that?

Let's recap shall we?

-FLAAAAAAAAASSHHHHHHBAAAAAACCCKKKK-

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HERDYGERDYFLIBAFLABADINGALINGMCWHOPWHOPADOODONG!

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Translation : Go fuck yourself.

-FLAAAAAAAAASSHHHHHHBAAAAAACCCKKKK TO THE PREEEESSSSSSEEEEENNNTTTT-

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Uhhhh...no?

I'm extremely certain Bennett doesn't have it in him to slice Cain's throat.

So yeah I'll be stopping you now.

Elite 4 be damned!

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Again, could we keep just the first half?

'Cause both our lives would be better if we forgot that cunt.

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She likes DARK Pokemon mate. You can't convince her otherwise.

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Uhhh...

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ANYTIME YOU WANT TO JUMP IN AND STOP THIS ME!

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DON'T JUST FUCKING STAND THERE!

DAMMIT GAME LET ME INTERVENE! CAIN'S LIFE ISN'T IN DANGER!

WHY ARE YOU HOLDING ME BA-

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What? Who said that?

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...no...

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...

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...again...

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HE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN! HE FORCED ME ON A WILD FUCKING GOOSE CHASE THAT I HAD LITERALLY NO NEED TO GO ON! HE COULD HAVE FUCKING DONE THE SAME EXACT THING BACK IN THE FUCKING HOLE IN THE GROUND BUT NOOOOOO HE NEEDS TO PROVE HOW FUCKING COOL AND SMART HE IS WITH HIS BULLSHIT DEUS EX MACHINA GARDEVOIR ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME! WHY AM I EVEN HERE HUH? IS THERE ANY REASON FOR ME TO EVEN BE IN THIS GAME? CAUSE ALL I SEEM TO DO IS JUST SHOW UP AND WATCH OTHER PEOPLE DO EVERYTHING IMPORTANT FOR ME! I'M NOT EVEN INVOLVED IN THIS FUCKING PILE OF SHIT!
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


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Look.

I know I lost my cool there but it's a valid argument I'm bringing forth.

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I understand why I can't use Pokemon to my advantage outside battle.

First of all this game would be much shorter if I could tell Mako to break everyone's neck and loot their badge.

(I mean I wouldn't even do that in the first place because I like battles)

And I get villians being able to screw me over because...well they're the bad guys! They're supposed to cheat.

But don't make literally everybody besides me be able to do it! It makes everything I do look incredibly insignificant in the game.

Like Cain using his Nidoking to push roadblocks out of the way or Radomus literally having a "You Win" button with Teleport.

(Kiki trying to destroy the PULSE was badass though so that one gets a pass)

It stops me from enjoying the game as much as this game deserves to be enjoyed!

And it is does deserve to be enjoyed, it's honestly the best Pokemon game in existence. Even with the sometimes questionable cast of characters.

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But what do I know? I'm no expert on game design or anything but it's just how I feel.

So...let's get back to this extremely annoying part of this episode and...just survive it...

Okay rant over. Let's go!

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Life's tough bucko.

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Oh look! I'm being given something to fucking do.

What fun.

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We all having fun with these overlapping conversations?

I know I am!

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What not going to stop him Radomus?

I mean it's only a crucial key to unlocking an eldritch beast that can destroy the whole region.

Surely you would use your cheaty power to stop him right?

No?

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Are you two STILL having a fucking argument over there?

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RRRRRRRRRR

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RAAAGHHH!

Daenerys Targaryen eat your heart out.

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OOF!

Fucking hell Gardevoir...that was brutal...

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HAHAHAHAHA WHAT???

Fucking hell I almost feel bad for Bennett now.

Even his boss is fucking ganging up on him...

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Hahahaha...oh that was too fucking good...

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Haha really?

You're getting all offended now?

After all you've done and all we've said you get offended by the gentlest of insults?

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Took the words right out of my mouth...please stop...I can't like you...

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The ones who don't let her fall into these kind of situations because they had the bright idea to bring El into their castle?

I mean really what was the point in that? Not to get the Amethyst pendant back that's for sure.

You could have taken it off him while he was unconscious after all.

Look I'm ranting again...god I hate this man...

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Oh my god....

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HOW ARE YOU STILL BELIEVING THAT?

He says it himself that you're not his daughter!

Get over it already!

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He better mean old friend in the sarcastic sense or else I'm going to stab him...

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Nnnnggghhhh...don't want to be...part of the problem...

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Sigh...let's just get out of here...

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HHHNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHH

URGE...TO KILL...RISING...

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Don't even pretend like I had anything to do with your rescue.

All I did was show up to witness this game's blatant favouritism to a hat wearing bitch and his fucking humanphile Gardevoir.

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"We'll endanger you and deny any familial bond with you but that's a little different right?"

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Mmmmmnnnn...normally I'd laugh in your face but you did sacrifice yourself for me so I'll try to be nicer.

but it's never gonna happen with me around

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Would it really be so bad if he killed you?

Or me? Just so you'll fuck off already?

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I'm guessing you haven't see how I...redecorated...the place then?

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Lead?

What lead?

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Well there's one bright side to this hell of an episode dear viewers...

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THAT'S THE LAST WE'LL SEE OF RADOMUS FOR THE REST OF THE GAME!

mainly because it's still unfinished

BUT STILL!

I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANYMORE MORONIC "I'M SO SMART" BULLSHIT EVER AGAIN!

THAT'S A WIN IN MY BOOK!

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NO!

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE LUNA!

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IT'S BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SHARE WITH THE FUCKING CLASS THAT I SPENT 4 EPISODES CLEANING UP AFTER HIS MESS!

AND DURING HIS "SECRET-KEEPING" 7 OF MY POKEMON DIED! FUCK HIM, FUCK GARDEVOIR AND FUCK EVER MENTIONING THAT CUNT AGAIN!!

ALRIGHT!?!?


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Ughhhhh...why is everything pain?

I think I understand why Corey took a swim in some asphalt now...

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Now let's steer this conversation AWAY from that prick okay?

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Pffffff..fucking hell Cain...hahaha...

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No. But I'm afraid of some stuff that might murder me in the dark.

Like wendigos. I played Until Dawn and fuck me those things are terrifying and tragic at the same time.

So yeah. I'm afraid of Wendigos.

What was the question again?

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Well I answered correctly at least.

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I...you...why...

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Luna.

This is a buttplug.

Why are you giving me...a buttplug?

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Nope. Sorry. I'm a moron.

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Have you tried using these buttplugs?

Oh god what did I just ask this girl to try?

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I thought YOU of all people would be excited by the free buttplugs!

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Oh yeah...the sleeping spell on them or something...

Best guess is it's Team Meteor.

Those rascals are always up to some shenanigans.

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Bye Cain!

See you in episode...39 I guess?


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Well then...

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...

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I wonder what would happen if I went back inside?

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Everyone abandoned the base somehow...okay...

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...

That sacrificial table is just asking to be touched...

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OH GOD!

I forgot about this creepy thing!

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It's kind of odd how when all the candles light up the room get's darke-

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GAAAAAAHHHH! NOT ANOTHER RECURRING GAG!?!

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Uhh okay?

I mean I really should have seen where the whole soul candle thing was going...

Meh shut up and get in my balls.

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Well Mr.Candles...I hope you like the box 'cause with Kiki and Mako nearly on permanent rotation it's unlikely you'll see the sun ever again...

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Sooooo...

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I guess we'll call it quits there then?

So...this episode...

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It was fun to write for but not fun to experience.

And we can pretty much consider it filler because I could have avoided it and it probably would have resolved itself.

At least I won't have to see Radomus again.

not until the game gets updated anyway...

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See you next time ya bunch of clowns!
Edited by DerogatoryTrainer, Apr 1 2016, 08:42 AM.
A Most Excellent Journey Of Pain And Misery

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Another world, another Terribly Titled series : Pokemon Rejuvenation

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The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn · Completed Screenshot and Written Log Runs