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Viewing Single Post From: The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn
DerogatoryTrainer
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Greatest in the Galaxy
When we last left our...

"Hero"

He had just beaten the Dark Gym Leader Luna and was heading to Agate City to meet up with his recent friend Cain.


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What glorious adventures await The Derogatory Trainer past the city checkpoint?

Friends will be made, enemies shall be destroyed and all with the high-brow humor you've all come to know and love!


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Hahahaha...they're all virgins!

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I shouldn't have agreed to narrate this garbage...

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Is your XXX the best in the universe?

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I forgot how weird Cain's hair looks like from the back.

It's like a purple tornado or a purple shuriken or a purple anus

...

Well whatever it is, it's definitely purple.

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Shouldn't they be dead?

I mean they're basically in a coma with no life support...

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Ohhhh shit.

I won't be able to go back to the city for a long long time after this part.

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Should I go back and get more Pokemon like some of my readers have been saying?

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Or should I continue forward specifically to annoy said readers?

Decisions, Decisions...

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Annoy it is!

Did you expect anything else though?

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We'll ignore you being able to do that roadblock destroying move...

I'm sick of complaining about that topic...

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On the road to Agate City~

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Meet my friends along the way~

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I swear to god if you use that overused cliche line I'll-

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Gahhhh...

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WAIT! WHOA! HOLD ON!

I SPY A METEOR GRUNT!

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HOW ABOUT THAT OBVIOUS METEOR AGENT BACK THERE?

WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT?

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...

"Typically"?

Try "never"

I mean you have the word dead right there next to silent.

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My sanity?

I mean it's been slipping a lot lately so it'd be a surprise if we found it...

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Wait what?

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The fuck is your sister doing here?

The Wasteland is miles away!

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...

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What?

Why the hell would you do that?

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Cain.

CAIN!

What the fuck are you doing?

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No...but the screen is getting darker...

"Typically not a good sign" eh?


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HOLY SHIT IT'S FUCKING REPTAR!

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WHO THE FUCK IS THAT???

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*Cough* *Cough* *Cough*

JESUS DUSTY CHRIST MY LUNGS

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Fucking "whups" is right!

Who the fuck are you?

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Maybe you shouldn't question the lady with the mallet Cain...

She seems rather...volatile...

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Oh my fucking god...

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Not helping the situation here Cain!

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...Oh god...

I think we've found this area's main source of my annoyance...

First Charlotte, then Radomus and now this?

I tell you nothing's gone right since Corey died...

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Hahaha my avatar turned away to avoid answering!

That's pretty funny.

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Is hearing you an mandatory?

Like is there a pair of earplugs available?

Or better yet a gag I can use on you?

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...

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...

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What have I done to deserve this?

Why does this game hurt me so?

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Please Terra just show me how...I'll gladly leave this place...

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...

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Cain.

I want you to kill me.

Right now.

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Could you learn to spell as well?

I'd prefer that.


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She's not going to hi-

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Ohhhh she is...

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...

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Well Aya's dead.

That sucks.

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Fucking hell she hit Hardy over the god damn mountain...

What the fuck is this woman?

AND WHY IS SHE IN MY POKEMON GAME????

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DON'T YOU FUCKING COME NEAR ME YOU DEVIL WOMAN!

I HAVE A HAIRBRUSH AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!

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I'm surprised you can feel sleepy after the poster girl of hyper-activeness is screaming in your ear.

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Actually how is Terra not affected by this "sleep wave" thing going on in the city?

What even is the sleep wave thing?

...

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Why am I pretending to think so hard about it?

It's obviously Team Meteor fucking about with a PULSE machine.

It's ALWAYS Team Meteor fucking about with a PULSE machine.

They probably have it hooked up to a Drowzee or Hypno and then I'll have to kill it because nobody else can apparently.


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Hmmm pretty impressive.

Certainly makes a change from the oppressive city and the caves I seem to find myself in a lot lately...

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Nice Cain.

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I shall add that to the burn book.

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What's a lion?

You mean a Pyroar right?

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Is that the name of your pet Seel?

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Okay now I HOPE that isn't the name of your pet Seel.

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And then she just fucking moonwalks out of here...

Jesus Christ who made this woman?

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I'm slightly more worried about Hardy...I mean he flew much further than her...

Also he's like my ONLY straight male friend.

And we're not even friends actually! He's more of an acquaintance...

Actually hold on why are most of the bad guys male?

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Cain come back and watch me reverse-Tumblr this game!

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Meh...might as well search for Aya while I scope this place out.

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We're off to a great start anyway...

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So those people are like super dead then yeah?

I mean 3-4 days is pretty much the limit humans can go without water...

Well it's not looking good.

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Hello...

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Sure why not?

I hope it's an Aerodactyl...

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Simple.

But it's going to be that Turtle rock from gen 5.

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Heh...don't think I've ever seen someone do a tile puzzle "dashingly" before

Well thanks for the paperweight I guess.

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Awww...

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You are literally a step away from the guy who JUST told me why!

Why can't you be smart like Shelly?

I'm so disappointed in you, random child.

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THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING A NICE GUY AND FREEING THOSE POKEMON!

NOW I HAVE NO DISNEY DOLLARS!

I MEAN SHARDS!

well I got the Lucky egg but still

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FUCK LEARNING! - Derogatory Trainer 2016

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...

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I think I'll hold onto the last bit of money I have...

I need to stock back up on healing items and that comes first.

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No.

I give up.

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Eh...just like the one shard?

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MONEY PLZ!


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Parents were probably Naruto fans...

Or Buddhists...

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Fuck me that's an intimidating thing to see right away...

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Thankfully it can't hit for shit.

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You did great. Now only if we could find a Grass starter to combine Pledges with...

I've never managed to do it in any game so far.

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Uhhhh okay?

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Bitch you ever train these things?

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Oh fuck off you.

She screamed it at the top of her lungs not 10 minutes ago.

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...

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What kind of Doctor?

'Cause I don't have a great history with this region's "Doctors"

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I get what you mean.

This circus does know Pokeballs are a thing right?

Because leaving them in a cage just exposes them to the elements.

Like this rain right now.

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The what?

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What kind of Pokemon is called the "Living Angel"?

I'm actually curious about this...obviously the developers wouldn't put it there for no reason...

They're nothing like the Snakewood guy...

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You...aren't good at fitting in are you Brainiac?

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It's probably not going to be an Aerodactyl so I'll pass.

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jUsT wHEN PeOplE sPeLL LiKe tHIs!!??!

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...

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So I've been standing here for an actual minute because this Donphan has trapped me in here.

...

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It's not one of my proudest moments


































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Is this thing interactive?

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Nice!

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Brute force is my forte~

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Over a certain meme-tacular number?

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Thank you, thank you.

I have a strict regiment of never doing anything strenuous and lazing about like a house cat.

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"Not bad"?

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Bitch I'm great.

I'll choke you with my powerful arms.

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...

So another Normal type eh?

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So where's you're supervisor right now?

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Last look at the outside world buddy.

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Meh I'll come back to it.

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These clowns are fucking weird...

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They don't really help the creepy clown stereotype do they?













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Well what's going on over here?

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Oh.

Well that was easy.

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Whoaaa.

You'd better stop reassuring me so well.

If you put me any more at ease I'll fall into a coma.

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I'LL EAT YOUR CHILDREN FUCKERS!

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I'm sorry I'm not good with crowds.

YOU FUCKING TROGLODYTES

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He better be okay.

I am not hunting down the fucking reserve Rock leader

I'm never doing that shit again.

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This woman is terrible at calming people down...

Plus she fucking employed Terra.

Not winning any points with me missy.

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Not because of basic human decency?

Just because of publicity huh?

You people make me sick.

...

Well you make me indifferent.

I don't really care about Hardy.

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WHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT??????

OHMYGOODNESSIHADNOIDEA!

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Say I buy a ticket to see it though?

Then it can be bought.

Your circus is a house of sin and lies...

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I hope he's dead.

Because judging from your attire...

Well I only know of one other person who wears a top hat...

And if he's your father...well it won't end well for you.

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Wait how the hell have you been receiving visitors from the city?

The gate has been closed for over a decade and the only way out is through a convoluted subway system.

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"We'll be fine OKAY?!?"

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I bet he's the circus strongman.

With a name like Samson it's fairly obvious.

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Called it.

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I wonder where he could be?

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Well he's certainly not that special looking sprite standing right in front of me.

No sir.

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I think I'm good mate.

It's not exactly rocket science.

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Well there goes my chances of getting that TM...

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I'll give you a polite but not impressed applause but nothing more.

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So did he climb the thing or just stand behind it.

These 3rd gen graphics make it hard to tell.

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Name's Sean. Derogatory Trainer.

No doubt you've heard the legends.

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Haha same.

But then again I don't have magical powers or skin harder than steel.

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Looking for a girl. 'Bout yea high. Purple.

That's pretty much all you need to identify her.

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Yeah sure...

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...

Mother fucker thinks he's better than me?

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NOBODY'S BETTER THAN ME!!!!

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THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!

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I'm great.

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Oh fuck you guys.













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Yeah. How dare they line up and pay to see your shows?

Supporting the circus during these troubled times.

What bastards.

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Man is that how you get rid of queues?

I should try it sometime.

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Well hello.

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Oh the pleasure's all mine.

Allow me to introduce myself...

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TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DAMNATION!

TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE IN ADMIRATION!

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TO IGNORE THE WEAKNESS OF TRUTH AND LOVE

TO DESTROY EVERYONE WHO DARES TO SHOW UP!

DEROGA-

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DAMMIT SAMSON!

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Uh..."claim" her?

She's not a lost dog...

Dogs aren't purple.

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I see this is where I'll be fighting the Gym Leaders...

Not sure what the field effect is...

Perhaps it has something to do with the tiles on the ground?

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And as usual Ame's not home.

Probably hiring more terrorists.

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The hell does a circus need a high-tech computer for?

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Don't worry my totally real moustache will wake her up!

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Nah.

Met her once and she killed my spider.

Fun times.

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That sounds like something she'd do normally.

I mean you hired her.

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Let my moustache coax you back to life.

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The Moustache Gods smile down upon us.

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Still sexy as hell I bet.

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Show you his "gym" eh?

His rock hard "gym" eh?

The "gym" he erected all by himself eh?

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Team Meteor did it.

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You were lucky you were unconscious Aya.

It was a painful experience for everyone.

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Oh think nothing of it my dear.

It's not your fault.

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This bitch on the other hand...

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OH OF COURSE SHE'S A GYM LEADER!

She's just the right kind of maniacal idiot that Ame would hire!

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So which one are you Ciel?

A little "birdy" told me you were the Flying type.

Also have you noticed my manly facial hair?

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Fuck you Spike!

Your species doesn't even have females!

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FINE FINE

...

I'll "shave" it off...

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Yeah...

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She...uh..."retired"

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He's SUPER dead!

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YES SHE DOES!!!

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Euphemism ho!

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But who could we POSSIBLY send out to find him?

Hmmmmmm...

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For once I don't mind Cain.

We are now even for your attempted sacrifice.

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The fuck is that?

It sound like a gimmick.

An extremely annoying gimmick...

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What I have to BUY one?

You'd think you'd give me a free one seeing as your fucking employee caused this mess!

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He's a right "baka" isn't he?

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Depends.

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Fuck.

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Into different pieces.

It was not a good day.

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That was my reaction too.

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Never saw the point in that.

I'm generally a terrible person from the get go.

I just get away with it 'cause I'm kinda funny.

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Frustrated? Me?

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I have no idea what you're talking about.

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Or you could give me the badge I already earned.

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...Right...

I'm gonna leave now...

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And then I fought a lvl 85 Unown.

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Mildly terrifying.

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Uh...okay?

Can I buy two then?

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Devastaing...beatdowns...

Okay got it!

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What?

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How does shaking the powder spoil it?

The fucker didn't give me two vials either.

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I also taught Elizabeth a Water move in case of Rock types.

These move tutors are great.

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Unnnnnnngghhhhh...

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Well I think we'll call it a day right here!

Next time we'll beat Route 2 and it's nauseating lag.

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I'll see you guys then.

Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe!

Well...you can only do one of those...

Just comment then.

Plz.












Edited by DerogatoryTrainer, May 7 2016, 06:20 AM.
A Most Excellent Journey Of Pain And Misery

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Your experience may differ from those participating


Another world, another Terribly Titled series : Pokemon Rejuvenation

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