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Viewing Single Post From: The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn
DerogatoryTrainer
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Greatest in the Galaxy
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The one bright point about this episode is that Shelly will finally shut the fuck up about Heather.

That's it.

The rest of this episode is pain topped with more pain.

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Well I wouldn't mind getting your nu-

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...

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Oh yes. That guy.

Woooo.

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So many options...so little time...

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Oh boy off she goes...

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Call me if you need me to beat him up or something Shelly.

I'm just gonna zone out on this conversation for a bit.

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Yeah...

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Yeah yeah...Heather's great and stuff...

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Smack him on the back of the head Shelly.

Preferably with that potted plant behind you.

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Oh boy. It's like he's a blue Fern.

Blern.

Blern Whitaker.

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...

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I think he's lying...

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Yes...HE was supposed to be taking care of her...

fuckfuckfuckfuck

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This kid outside.

He also said your haircut was stupid.

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Yup.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Wanna go kick his ass?

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Great!

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I TOLD YOU I'D TELL HIM PUNK!

THIS IS FOR...UH...BEING YOURSELF!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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I like her hair


Spoiler: click to toggle








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And we're back to this.

Also I would have beat up Cain but he's too far away.

This is his fault really.

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...

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Ohhhhh I'm not liking where this is going...

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Probably. She's a miserable kid to be honest.

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Well damn that made the deal almost worthwhile.

But no.

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Not exactly a though choice mate.


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We really don't Shelly.

What benefits do we get from saving her really?

Besides he'll probably just bail before we get the info out of him.

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Stop looking at me with those sad eyes Shelly.

We can't trust anything this guy says!

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It's FINE Shelly. You're letting Heather blind you like always.

Besides what is Blake going to do with us here really?

He's CAL's brother. He's going to be a pushover no matter what.

They have loser in their blood.

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Yes. We'll figure it out as Team Meteor unleashes Arceus and kills everyone.

WE'RE NOT TRADING.

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...

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Noooooo...

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Nooooooooooooooooo....

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This game is the worst piece of trash.

I'm so sick of this happening.

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...

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I want to stop playing this game.

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IT MEANS THERE ARE CLUES AROUND HIS FUCKING ROOM SHELLY!

STOP BEING A FUCKING IDIOT ALREADY.

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Oh.

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Look! Blake's giving away Heather's location for us.

Isn't that just swell?

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Yes I did. For two seasons now.

If only Cain remembered as well we wouldn't be dealing with this garbage plotline.

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Because nothing says "Cleansing" than a town full of corpses right?

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...

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No shit Sherlock.

You proud of that deduction?

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Okay that made me almost like Blake.

But then I remembered he took the ring.

So now I hate him again.

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The ideal world where everyone is dead.

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Of course you are.

You're a big independent boy, aren't you?

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"Choice hunnies"

You do realize everyone except Team Meteor is going to die right?

And you do realize that the majority of Team Meteor are men right?

Excluding the grunts of course.

Lin's the only girl left after Eclipse bit the dust.

And that's probably a dead end street. Emphasis on "dead"

Maybe Blake thinks Solaris,Siggy,Sirius and El are "choice hunnies"?

There's always Fern I guess but your standards have to be really low to consider him.

(Still don't know what the fuck Zel is so we'll leave it out.)

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Wait why the fuck am I talking about this like it's a Meteor dating sim?

FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR BLAKE!

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As long as your definition of Freedom starts with murdering anyone who disagrees with your "freedom".

The good old fashioned Unovan way.

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Because she's 10.

And 10 year olds are fucking stupid.

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Again...THANKS CAIN.

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Sunday?

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Well would you look at that?

It IS Sunday.

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Well that was rude.

I'm going to explode him.

...

Damn I'm starting to sound like that girl Julia from like a year ago.

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Did you know I've been doing this for a whole year now Shelly?

How time flies am I right?

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And ignore me.

Thanks.

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Seriously what did you THINK was going to happen?

Even if I willingly gave him that stupid fucking ring he still wouldn't of told us where she was.

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Yeah!

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Somewhere being here maybe?

Y'know...Blake's house?

Where he no doubt spends most of his day crying like a bitch?


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OR WE'LL JUST FUCKING LEAVE FOR NO GOD DAMN REASON!

SURE!

WHY NOT?

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In one of the many inaccessible apartments in this town maybe?

Or the peak where his gym is.

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Who's this guy then?

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WHAT?

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And here I thought this episode couldn't get any more annoying...

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THIS FUCKER SHOWS UP!

GREAT. JUST GREAT.

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What kind of reaction was that?

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ANYONE WANT TO FILL ME IN ON THIS?

ANYONE???

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Man...this game really has something against older brothers...

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Good.

'Cause you ain't getting it.

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You think YOU'RE going to fix the future?

You.

Mr. "Use Thunderpunch on an Ampharo"s?

Mr. "Throw Medicham into a volcano for no real reason"?

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We'll see Grumpigs fly before that happens.

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Well I can't stand you.

Fuck off.

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Shelly shut up.

You make bad decisions.

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"Naturally blue"?

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What is this?

One of them Chinese cartoons?

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Can someone explain why we're having this big discussion about Cal's hairstyle?

Please?

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Of course.

Because little baby can't stop whining about how his brother blah blah blah blah BLAH!

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How is joining Team Meteor one-upping your brother?

THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL EVERYONE.

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Great so can I break your neck now?

I'm in a very bad mood.

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Well...

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You've got the "walking mistake" part right at least....

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Oh fuck me seriously?

He seriously said that?

Fucking edgelord...

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No it doesn't.

I need to stop them to save this god-forsaken region.

Saphira needs to stop them to protect her sisters.

You need to stop them because you were a whiny baby who couldn't beat his brother.

So fuck off.

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Just like that huh?

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NEED I REMIND EVERYONE THAT HE JOINED A TERRORIST GROUP FOR THE STUPIDEST REASON IMAGINABLE???

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Oh fuck this.

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Let me know when you two are done whining about your brothers and trying to find Heather alright?

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Gonna ignore the fact that Meteor has an air unit for now.

how the FUCK do they get the funding for this shit?

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Shit did I tell anyone what's under the Grand staircase?

...

Ah it's fine. I'm sure Cain filled everyone in.


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If only there was someone nearby who took down several Meteor bases already eh?

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That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

This is fucking stupid.

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I can't let this shit go.

I'm sorry.

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This is actually the first time I've wanted to stop playing the game for good.

Because of this retarded revelation.

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You all understand what this means right?

Heather being in the Elite 4?

It means she's literally one of the strongest character I've met in the game.

Saphira? Weaker than Heather.
Titania? Weaker than Heather.
Solaris, Blake and all the rest of them. Weaker than Heather.

The only ones stronger that we know of are El (maybe) and whoever the Champion is.
Laura isn't because she use Grass types and grass types aren't much of a match against dragons.
And Lin hasn't really done anything impressive except beat a Steelix that I already defeated before.

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This is like the orphans being stronger than me plot only 100 times worse.

She's been captured so many god-damn times and made me run around after her.

And it turns out she's one of the strongest trainers in the region.

What the fuck was the point in any of this really?

I think Fern had the right idea until he wimped out and joined Team Meteor.

Just stick to the gyms and ignore the idiots running around asking you to help save super strong orphans.

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It's just upsetting you know?

All the struggles and battles I've had up until now could have be solved single handedly by a 9 year old brat.

And all of HER problems could have been solved by the same 9 year old brat.

...

I don't know how I'm going to get past this...

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Take out Solaris hims-

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


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Ohhhh...ohhhh...

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That's a good knee slapper right there.

That actually perked me up quite a bit.

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How did you even get Fire Pokemon up here?



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SEE SHELLY???

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WE DIDN'T NEED TO LEAVE THE APARTMENT FOR NO REASON AND TALK TO CAL.

WE COULD HAVE JUST STAYED INSIDE AND NOT LEARNED HEATHER WAS AN ELITE 4.

WHAT A LOVELY WORLD THAT WOULD BE.

I BET I'D ALSO BE ABLE TO STOP PEOPLE FROM STEALING THAT FUCKING RING EH?

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Oh?

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Are you two actually acknowledging that I'm here?

Instead of talking about hairstyles?

How very kind.

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GO TEAM CAL RIGHT?!?

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team piece of shit more like

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Right...

Search Blake's room.

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Let me just sit down for a moment and lament how badly this game has annoyed me.

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Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh....

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Take in alllllll the bad vibes...

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And just push them onto others...

Haaaaahhhh...

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Right back to this then.

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And just like a mystery novel it's going to be behind the bookcase.

So can we skip the puzzle and just rip it down?

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Thought not.

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Bull.

Shit.

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Uhhhh okay?

What it do?

And how was Blake playing it?

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Shots fired at COD players.

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When in doubt search the bins.

Standard Pokemon logic.

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...Okay...

This is a really laborious way of opening a secret passage but whatever...

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Oh that flirt.

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OR IS IT????

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I KNEW IT!

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ALL OF THESE TREES ARE LIARS!

NONE OF THEM ARE ORDINARY!

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...Riiight...

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Man. Sure would be a nice thing to do to share this food with the starving people.

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Aaaaanyway...

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Five.

Rhymes with my mental state.

Dead inside.

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Oh boy.

I will be rolling in "da hunniez" tonight forrrr surrrre

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Oh man.

Da hunniez I will buy with the munniez.

...Sigh...


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...Hooray...

I am filled with joy.

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Okay...didn't expect this.

Damn this is a convoluted puzzle.

Guess I'll try plugging it in?

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Back to snooping around in Blern's room.

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All these blank books...christ...

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Eight.

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And totally not the 5 from earlier turned into an 8.

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You guys trust me right?

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RIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTTTT????

pls help my sanity is slipping

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Fucking liars.

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OH GOD.

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Lusty Lopunnies?

Gardevoirs gone Wild?

Sexy Swannas?

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...

oh sweet lord no

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DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I'M NOT SHOWING SHELLY THESE.

FUCKING FURRIES.

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Well that's my innocence lost forever.

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All these fucking step to turn on a damn computer...

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After what I found under his bed I'm not sure I want to see what Blake has on this thing.

I may need to burn it.

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Ah I see.

Using the numbers I've found on the pots yes?

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And lastly...

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A four.

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...

So what do I win?

...

Please don't let it be Blern's porn stash.

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I fucking told you Shelly.

"Nothing suspicious" my ass.

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I...don't get that reference...

Is it from that 9 hours 9 doors game maybe?

That's all google tells me anyway.

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Yeah...

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Elite 4 Heather.

...

...

Ugh.


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Huh.

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Can't say I expected there being a waterfall back here...

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Guess it makes sense being this close to the mountain...

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Well this is a nice view...

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This not so much...

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She's hardly still mute at this stage right?

It's been a long time since Siggy gave her the ol' zap therapy.

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She's hardly mad at you Shelly.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Cain on the other hand started this whole fucking mess with Heather.

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Actually now that I think about it he actually DID start this!

Back in Lapis Ward he turned Shelly against Heather by asking Shelly a stupid question that destroyed Heather's pillar of support.

Which then led to Heather being captured (SOMEHOW) by Connal!

And then he left her with Blake, a Meteor agent that Cal already told us about.

...Is Cain...secretly a member of Team Meteor?

Either that or he's woefully incompetent.

...

Second one is more likely.

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While that was a beautiful show of determination to save your friend.

WE HAVE LITERAL MONSTERS ON OUR SIDE SHELLY.

FUCK I COULD PROBABLY JUST KICK THIS DOOR DOWN.

I mean the cold has probably made the lock brittle by now.

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STOP FUCKING RUNNING OFF THEN!

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You know I've almost missed that Ugh.

Season 2 was a long time ago.

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Good...good...

Let the hate flooooow through you

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Okay maybe tone it back a bit.

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Yes.

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...

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Fuck.

I kinda want to forgive her.

No! I must...stay strong...

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Hey Heather!

'Bout time you turned around.

And yes I heard everything.

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Ah yeah Shelly's here too.

Wouldn't stop fucking talking about you for months.

Literally months.

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I CAN see that Shelly.

Does me staring through a badly photoshopped door mean nothing to you?

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Why don't you use your super powerful Elite 4 Poke-

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Oh.

You don't have them. Okay my bad.


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Well duh...you're like really small.

And 10.

You need a grown-up to kick down doors.

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You alright in the head there Shelly?

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AH FUCK!

AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF THE WAY YOU PRIMORDIAL BITCH!

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Isn't that a move where you throw rocks?

With weird glowy psychic energy?

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To be honest Shelly I have two fighting types, a rock monster and a cute fairy that can summon the moon.

This would be much easier if you let me or them do it.

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Didn't know Ancient Power caused giant flashes of white light.

Good to know I gue-


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...

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Wat.

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YOU SURE???

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YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST BUSTED OUT ON YOUR OWN?

WITH YOUR SALAMENCE?

YOU KNOW????

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THE ELITE 4 LEVEL SALAMENCE???

THE ONE THAT'S NO DOUBT YOUR ACE POKEMON???

THE ONE THAT COULDN'T BREAK DOWN A FUCKING DOOOOORRRRRRR??????

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holyfuckingshitididn'tthinkthiscouldgetanyworsebutshe'sanelite4andherfuckingSalamencecouldn'tbreakafuckingdoor

SahpirasDragoniterippedapartasteelgatelikeitwasnothingbutasupposedlystrongerSalamenccouldn't?

I'msofuckingdonewiththispieceofshitgameohmygodwhydoesthegameplayhavetobesogoodbutthecharacterssoshit?

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Not much of a trainer either.

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Oh you have got to be kidding me.

Please tell me you're kidding me.

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NOT IF THOSE MISTAKES INVOLVE KILLING INNOCENT POKEMON AND PEOPLE SHELLY.

CAL LEFT THAT PART OUT HUH? WHERE HE THREW KIKI'S MEDICHAM INTO THE VOLCANO??

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I am so fucking done with this shit.

This is literal garbage.

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...

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Wait hold the phone.

Did someone just thank me?

F-for all the stuff I've done?

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Well it's about fucking time.

You're now my favourite child Heather.

That Bennett kid was a lost cause anyway.

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No we really don't.

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You don't want to know how many fucking people have had it since you stole it from Corey.

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And why do we need Heather again?

I'm pretty sure I could take them all out.

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Make sure you do it yourself and not that weakling Salamence you have.

couldn't break down a bloody door

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Huh...that's...rather admirable of you Heather...

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Suspiciously admirable...

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But then again...he's a fucking idiot.

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...

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BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO NOT HAVING MUCH TIME LEFT SHELLY???

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I'm surprised that weakling can carry anything let alone two little girls.

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I don't need it.

I'm great after all.

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Right...

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This episode was a pain in the fucking ass.

-We saw the return of Medicham killer extraordinaire Cal.

Don't like him.

-Shelly being extremely annoying by quoting him.

Starting to not like her.

-Blake is a fuckboi.

Just a Fern clone. Which is even sadder than being the original fuckboi.

-We FINALLY fucking found Heather.

Turns out she's an Elite 4 member. Which came out of fucking nowhere.

And she also got her position by "proving herself good enough" and it was originally her mother's.

And how long has she had this position by now?

I really want to meet the people who lost to these kids.

I'm fairly sure Ame was just desperate for recruits at this point and had them battle straw dummies.

COULDN'T EVEN RIP DOWN A FUCKING DOOR AND IT'S A GOD DAMNED DRAGON!!!

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This episode has been just one headache after another.

I just hope the next one is less annoying...

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...

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What the hell are those things in the distance?

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Wait they're getting closer now...

Is...is that Creedence clearwater revival I'm hearing?

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...

Fuck.





















Also yaaaaayy for the 1 year anniversary of this terrible thing! Wooooo!
Edited by DerogatoryTrainer, Aug 19 2016, 12:43 PM.
A Most Excellent Journey Of Pain And Misery

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Another world, another Terribly Titled series : Pokemon Rejuvenation

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The Terribly Titled Reaction-locke of Pokemon Reborn · Completed Screenshot and Written Log Runs