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[MATURE] Pokemon CAWPS Blind Playthrough; Bad boys bad boys, what'cha gonna do?
Topic Started: May 12 2018, 09:45 PM (498 Views)
Turtleboi
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Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
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Well, why not. How damaging could a Pokemon ROM Hack possibly be?
Spoiler: click to toggle


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Oh god, here we go. Since this is a crizzle hack, this hack contains course language and mature subject matter. Viewer discretion is advised.

And now, the Cops are jerks/idiots countertm! It goes up every time the police in this hack say something rude or stupid. Or both. +2

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First of all, rude! +1
Second of all, I never said that!

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Why do I get the feeling that the cops use Pokemon for their own misdeeds?

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Once again, I never said that!

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Our heroes ladies and gentlemen... +1

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And because I'm guessing that at least 90% of the officers in this hack are male, I'll be playing as a girl.

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You know, in hindsight I probably should've named her Judy, but oh well. Say hello to Officer Sam!

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Spoilers: No it's not. Real police academies are, but then again, real police academies don't have fire breathing dogs.

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...Fuck you. +1

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I'd make a joke here, but all I can think about is visiting Florida again.

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"AKA the hacker couldn't be bothered to make a new building and just used generic buildings."

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I would turn back, but I'm apparently a glutton for punishment.

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You obviously haven't heard of something called the fourth wall, have you?

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Reeeeeeal subtle. +2

I think we can call it a day after that.

CAJ/IC: 7
Edited by Turtleboi, May 12 2018, 09:55 PM.
Pokemon CAWPS Blind Playthrough (Please God Help Me)

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🌠 Sora the Blue man 🌠
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The Hanged Thief,Diath Woodrow
Hey,I've played this hack for like 4 minutes once,and the starter choices are interesting just to let you know
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Turtleboi
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Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
@Sora: So have I. You'll find out which one I'm picking right now.

Last time, on Pokemon CAWPS: We applied for the Hoenn police academy and found out that the police in this game are total wankers...

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I'm not your friend, buddy!

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He doesn't seem so bad. Too bad he's a moron. +1

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And then there's this asshole... +1

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I wonder what constitutes as "High Expectations"?

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AKA: Ignore actual crime and let a 10-year old handle it.

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Don't worry, they mostly just use Zubat.

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Guess I'll have to play Lucio then.

Also, this might just be my view, but I feel like justice and mercy go hand in hand, and police should focus more on protecting people than trying to kill people. +2

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Oh god dammit! +1

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Fuck you. +2

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Also, rude. +1

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Oh you poor, sweet, naive child...

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Okay Crizzle, you got me. That was actually pretty funny!

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Our heroes everyone. They can't stop a low level Zigzagoon. +2

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Alright, starter time!

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Well, these choices are certainly... interesting.

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I'm gonna go with Aron. After all, Aggron's one my favorite Pokemon of all time!

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How did that one guy have so much trouble? +1

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Once again, IT'S A FUCKING ZIGZAGOON! Unless it has rabies, it's not killing anyone! +1

Sorry, but I need to go recover my sanity. See you next time people!

CAI/JC Points this part: 12

Total Points: 19
Edited by Turtleboi, May 13 2018, 09:53 PM.
Pokemon CAWPS Blind Playthrough (Please God Help Me)

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🌠 Sora the Blue man 🌠
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The Hanged Thief,Diath Woodrow
I'm pretty sure he says it has rabies,but I can't remember,and a lot of stuff happens later
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Turtleboi
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Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
@ Sora: I don't remember them saying it has rabies, but even so, if it did, wouldn't my Pokemon get infected from fighting it?

Last time on Pokemon CAWPS:Posted Image

So, after we defeated a Zigzagoon which apparently killed 4 people and nearly a TRAINED OFFICER, here we are.

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So they just let their officers give their trainees take pokemon from criminals? +1

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Glad to do so Flash. You may be dumb, but at least your nice.

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"I actually treat my officers like humans."

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By the way, here's Aron's nickname.

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Wow! Two starter Pokemon? Maybe this game isn't so bad after all!

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I named her after my friends' dog.

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Does the hack creator actually know how real police work goes? +1

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Well, you do have a decent point.

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I'd say no, but the game won't let me.

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Okay then, let's get started!

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Sounds easy enough.

Spoiler: click to toggle


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Once again, these plot roadblocks are the only thing genuinely funny so far.

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BTW, here's Metasaurus and Lucy's natures and abilities, in case you want to know.

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This officer is my favorite character so far. Smart, kind and helpful!

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In other news, the fat guy marveling at technology is a bit more perverted than usual.

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That's too bad... :crying:

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That's... Horrible. YOU'RE HORRIBLE! :argh:

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I'm so sorry ma'am

Actually, I wonder where May is?

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Hey, I like both systems, but to each their own I guess.

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No, that's only Cartoon Network.

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Well, let's see what Brendan's mom's up to.

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Apparently she's very proud of her son, and wishes her husband was home more often. Typical Wife...

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:psyduck:

Brendan's apparently gone through hard times after becoming champion of Hoenn.

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In hindsight, I should've done some grinding.

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But Lucy proved she's awesome and annihilated him.

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Damn, you guys mobilize fast! -1

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Well, that explains everything.

Except it doesn't.

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By the way, you can still set the clock.

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Again, typical wife behavior.

I think I've done enough for today.

CAJ/IC: +1

Total: 20
Pokemon CAWPS Blind Playthrough (Please God Help Me)

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Turtleboi
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Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Last Time on Pokemon CAWPS:

We busted Brendan for drug trafficking and found out that the police in this region mobilize surprisingly fast.

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Well, let's check out Prof. Birch's lab and see what else we can find.

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We find some sort of satan worshipper who sacrificed them all. (I'm not even kidding!)

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But we kick his ass anyway because we're awesome!

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What? But Aron fainted during that battle! And I don't have any revives yet!

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Wow. You know, we could call 911 to get an ambulence, but I guess that wouldn't be
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enough, now would it?

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Sorry...

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We head back to May's house and WHAT THE FLYING FUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Oh sweet Arceus above...

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Stop.

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STOP.

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Fortunatly, he went down pretty easy.

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Go to hell!

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One can only hope...

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Can do, ma'am!

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Wait, is this some sort of alternate timeline where Prof. Birch wasn't rescued by the player? If so, then maybe this hack won't be so bad after all!

Although I doubt it.

Let's end this episode on a lighter note, and I'll see you all next time!

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Pokemon CAWPS Blind Playthrough (Please God Help Me)

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Turtleboi
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Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Last time on Pokemon CAWPS:

We took out an Insane cultist and arrested a weirdo for trying to rape May's mother.

Hopefully this time we won't have to go through shit like that.

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Thanks Flash! Glad to know there's somebody on the police force who isn't a corrupt douchenozzle.

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Items get!

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Can do!

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Apparently the Pokemart sells black belts. That'll be handy if we ever wind a fighting type.

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Here's my HM User/Item Caddy

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Wonder what's on this route...

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Well, wasn't expecting that.

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Sadly I don't think Roserade is in this hack, so he won't be seeing much action.

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Sure thing!

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This guy's Makuhita spammed sand attack so much that it became nearly impossible to hit him :rage:

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We beat him eventually though!

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Uhhh, okay. Thanks.

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But as it turns out, my Pokemon CAN repel firepower of that magnitude!

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No.

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Relax, I'm not gonna arrest you.

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Finally, someone recognizes an officer as a respectable...

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Uhhh... :psyduck:

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Well, here we are in Petalburg. I think that's where we can call it a day.
Pokemon CAWPS Blind Playthrough (Please God Help Me)

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CyndaKill
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That guy who does stuff
this hack has to be the weirdest thing I've seen.

The real question is... why did Crizzle think this would be a good idea?
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Turtleboi
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Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
@ CyndaKill: Hey, everyone was ideas that they think are fantastic in their heads but not to others. I know I've had some...

Last time on Pokemon CAWPS:

We arrived in Petalburg city. That's really about it.

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For context, this guy was pissing in public.

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Hey, what people do on the internet is no concern of mine.

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Huh, well that's actually a nice change of pace. We actually get to do other things besides challenge gyms.

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Let's see what Wally's up to.

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Umm...

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...What.

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WHAT.

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WHAT?!

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Ooooookay, apparently Wally's become a mass murderer with delusions of grandeur. Crizzle, I have lost my ability to even.

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Fortunately, he's not very strong.

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I just... I don't... I can't... :psyduck:

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Apparently there's still more to to do in Petalburg. Wonder what else we can...

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Oh sweet Arceus above... :ohdear:

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I'm gonna enjoy beating you...

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Good Riddance...

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Hopefully she knows a good psychiatrist...


Okay, I think I'll end it there. I need to go wash my soul now.

CAI/JM: 20 + 0 = 20
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Brotoman
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Hope Rides Sloooow
:psyduck: This game is so Edgy that you cut yourself just downloading it.
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God this hack is horrible. Like in a content way. It's edgy for the sake of being edgy. I'd suggest a [Mature] tag so no-one wanders into the thread unprepared for this fuckery.

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Rob Zombug : A Snakewood VS Locke

5.30.2017 6-B : I am Fire; I am Death
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Part 9 - Rolling in the Deep
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CyndaKill
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That guy who does stuff
what did they do to Wally? He's just an innocent boy with the best rival fights, why did they have to make him the edgiest man alive?

jesus christ this hack is fucked up
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Turtleboi
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Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
@Brotoman: I didn't, but sometimes I wish I did...

@Bug: Writing and content wise, yeah this is goddamn awful. Gameplay wise, it's actually kind of interesting.

@CyndaKill: Because Crizzle apparently hates anything remotely good willed and wants to watch Pokemon Fans suffer. And if you think this hack is fucked up from this alone, trust me, we've only scratched the surface!

Last time, on Pokemon CAWPS:

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Thanks man.

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...Just went from a 9 to a 10!

Seriously though, you're just giving me Flamethrower right off the bat? Well, the games over folks, see you next time when I decide to try something harder.

...

Oh alright, I'll sit through the rest of this bullhockey. But only because you people like it.

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BTW, caught this lil guy on Route 102. Shame Roserade isn't in this hack as far as I know.

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Well that's not UNtrue.

Posted ImageWOODS?
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OKAY, JEEZ!

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Aww...:(

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Ladies and gentlemen, IGN's reviewing process.

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Heh, cute little subversion! See, maybe this hack isn't so bad after all...

Spoiler: click to toggle


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Damn, Team Aqua got hardcore in this hack.

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On that note, I want another game in Orre. Who's with me?

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Well, time to go into the forest and see what awaits us.

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Better than tackle in every conceivable way.

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Hidden item get!

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Oh, so that's how you get TMs if you can't challenge gyms.

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Wonder what they're up to?

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Drug abuse. Who's surprised?

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Does drug dealing have ANYTHING to do with expansion of the land? I guess Crizzle never paid attention to the plot of RSE.

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Hey, don't talk that way! Breloom kicks ass!

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*sigh*, Even Team Aqua's fallen victim to the omniscient force that is the EDGE.

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And this guy's an even bigger baby than in the vanilla game.

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And the grunt's an even bigger nimrod.

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However, he's still just as much of a pushover.

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And apparently more of a coward too.

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Dick.

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Whatever, he deserved it.

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But I don't.

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I gotta admit, this was a tough battle. Not only were there mons high leveled, but one of them had a friggin Bagon!

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But I kicked their asses, so everything's good!

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Again, my Zigzagoon was fainted during this. So apparently it can't fight, but it can kill 2 human adults.

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Another TM. Well, I think that's enough for now.
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