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[COMPLETED]Sons of Three - Eldest: Pokemon Yellow Nuzlocke Story Run; Dec 26: Trailer is up
Topic Started: Jan 20 2011, 08:58 PM (41,698 Views)
TrainerBOB
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Sons of Three: Eldest
by TrainerBOB

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-Artwork by QKNC

Kanto’s history books tell of the Battle of Three. They tell of the epic clash between a champion-gone-rogue and two powerful trainers of Kanto. They tell of how all three trainers died in the battle.

What they don’t tell, however, is the truth.

When William Shake sets off for his Pokémon journey, he has no idea of the evils that await him. He will uncover a series of lies that have been fed to him since birth. He will stumble into a family web that is so complicated and twisted he will lose track of himself.

But most terrifying, William Shake will go face-to-face with the most dangerous man in the world: The champion who went rogue, Jimmy Oak.

In a Pokémon fanfiction categorized as dark, twisted, suspenseful, dramatic, and sometimes plain horrifying, readers will find themselves shocked at every turn of William Shake’s journey.

Sons of Three: The Second Son has started. Check out the sequel here.


Table of Contents


Amazing things done by amazing people
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QKNC
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its hard to be this sugoi okay
This is a good start, nice set-up and everything. The characterizations were also nice. I particularly liked Oak's.
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TrainerBOB
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Chapter 1 and 2 have been moved to this post because I was having trouble with them posted in the table of contents:

Chapter One
Spoiler: click to toggle


Chapter Two
Spoiler: click to toggle





Wow - thanks! :)
I'll try to have Chapter 3 up by tonight!
Edited by TrainerBOB, Feb 19 2012, 07:59 PM.
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TrainerBOB
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Chapter 3 is up!

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

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Edited by TrainerBOB, Feb 19 2012, 08:01 PM.
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TrainerBOB
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Chapter 4 is up!

Chapter Four

Chapter Four


Let me know what you guys think and stuff :)
Edited by TrainerBOB, Feb 19 2012, 08:01 PM.
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TrainerBOB
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Chapter 4 marked the end of Part 1, so I started Part 2 and I posted the preface for that as well! =D

Preface
Preface
Edited by TrainerBOB, Jan 30 2011, 06:30 AM.
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QKNC
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its hard to be this sugoi okay
I like how there's a backstory building up here with a prior trainer. I'm interested in how it's all going to turn out.

Your chapters are short and easy to read, but it might just be deterring people from commenting because they feel like they don't have anything important to say. Don't let that discourage you! Readers like to hide in the shadows sometimes.
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TrainerBOB
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QKNC
Jan 23 2011, 09:01 PM
I like how there's a backstory building up here with a prior trainer. I'm interested in how it's all going to turn out.
Thanks - I had to spend some time planning a few things, but a lot of it is still developing as I go.

And thanks for the encouragement, I'll try to have Chapter 5 done by tonight :)
Edited by TrainerBOB, Jan 24 2011, 03:00 PM.
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TrainerBOB
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Chapter 5 is up - William goes into Viridian Forest.

Chapter Five
Spoiler: click to toggle


I added in a small side-story since nothing interesting happens in Viridian Forest in the game - hope you guys like it! :)
Edited by TrainerBOB, Jan 30 2011, 06:38 AM.
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SwagginSkitty
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SnooPINGAS usual, I see

Wow, i just read the whole thing from start, and i really like how this is turning out
CURRENTLY: Trying to figure out how the hell to patch Sacred Gold on a Macbook SERIOUSLY HELP IM DUMB YO
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FINISHED RUNS
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TrainerBOB
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SwagginSkitty
Jan 24 2011, 03:13 PM
Wow, i just read the whole thing from start, and i really like how this is turning out
Thanks! :roll:
I'll update Chapter 6 tomorrow (or tonight if I get lucky!) :biggrin:
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Cypher DS
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Conqueror of the Violet Gym
This has been an entertaining read so far. You certainly know how to keep your reader's enticed, offering little glimpses of Jimmy's backstory. This latest encounter with the Scyther gave me flashes of 'Jurassic Park'; I half expected a second mantis Pokemon to push its nose out of the tall grass and flank William from the side!

'Playing with its food' or not, I do like how the Scyther devoured the easy, dead prey first. Seemed like a very natural response for a wild animal.

Maybe this is a formatting quirk particular to my computer, but your signature line, "Sons of Three: Pokemon Yellow Nuzlocke", is appearing in an extremely large font.

I just noticed that you're naming your pokemon after characters from Shakespeare's tragedies. That's such a clever (and appropriate) idea, considering the death rate in Nuzlocke runs. I suppose our protagonist William is short for W. Shakespeare. Is the rival character intended to be Christopher Marlowe?
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TrainerBOB
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Quote:
 
I just noticed that you're naming your pokemon after characters from Shakespeare's tragedies. That's such a clever (and appropriate) idea, considering the death rate in Nuzlocke runs. I suppose our protagonist William is short for W. Shakespeare. Is the rival character intended to be Christopher Marlowe?


HOLY CRAP!

I didn't think anyone would get that, especially the Christopher Marlowe part. But yes - all my of my Pokemon's name are named after Shakespeare characters. Even Chris's Eevee (Edward) is in fact named after a character from a Christopher Marlowe play.

And sorry about the font - I want it to be large enough so it doesn't remain hidden, but I don't want it to be an annoyance. I'll make it smaller, I don't want it to drive people away - thanks for calling it to my attention.

And I was kind of thinking of Jurassic Park when I wrote this particular scene. Scyther always reminded me of Velociraptors.

Thanks for the heads up on the font, and I am seriously amazed you got the Shakespeare thing!


Update: I fixed my signature - does it look better?
Edited by TrainerBOB, Jan 24 2011, 04:42 PM.
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jdb1984
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Conqueror of the Cinnabar Gym
The Shakesphere thing was seriously clever. And are the snippets from Jimmy's quest from an undocumented run?
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Cypher DS
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Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Yes, the signature does look more manageable now. I was a little worried you might get penalized by the moderators.

'Desdemona' was the name that tipped me off to your naming system. I was going to post about how ominous that name sounded, then I did a double take and realized where I had heard the rest of the names! I've studied Shakespeare's plays in university (as well as Dr. Faustus) so I might have a slight advantage in identifying the characters.
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6/16 - A Spark of Sloth - Wattson's Story
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TrainerBOB
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Quote:
 

'Desdemona' was the name that tipped me off to your naming system. I was going to post about how ominous that name sounded, then I did a double take and realized where I had heard the rest of the names! I've studied Shakespeare's plays in university (as well as Dr. Faustus) so I might have a slight advantage in identifying the characters.

I thought Desdemona would be what gave away the Shakespeare trend, but I was still surprised to see someone get the Marlowe reference. Seriously, you're awesome.

And,

Quote:
 

And are the snippets from Jimmy's quest from an undocumented run?


No, but that is a really interesting idea, and I think it would be cool to see someone else do something like that.

Jimmy is a character that readers will keep learning more and more about as the Nuzlocke run progresses. In fact, you'll probably figure out who he is before I reveal it, but the mystery surrounding him will only deepen.

And now finally, Chapter 6 is up! Yay! I told myself I wasn't going to write it until I finished my homework, but then I started having two many thoughts and ideas and I had to get 'em down.

I put a tiny reference to a certain comedy film from 1975 in this Chapter. I'll reveal it when I post Chapter 7, but more power to you if you can figure it out before then.

Update:

Wait, hold up, I'm having a tiny problem with Chapter 6. Give me a second, sorry about that...

UPDATE #2:
Okay, it is saying the post is too long for me to put in my very first post in this thread, so I'm posting it here! :)

Chapter Six
Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by TrainerBOB, Jan 24 2011, 07:45 PM.
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QKNC
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its hard to be this sugoi okay
Aaah, the naming references went right over my head. But anyway, that was a creative chapter about the Viridian Forest, I don't think I've seen it written out that way before with Scythers and all. I like how William took a strategic approach to get the Scyther out of the forest and into the city, that shows thought on your part.
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TrainerBOB
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QKNC
Jan 24 2011, 07:58 PM
Aaah, the naming references went right over my head. But anyway, that was a creative chapter about the Viridian Forest, I don't think I've seen it written out that way before with Scythers and all. I like how William took a strategic approach to get the Scyther out of the forest and into the city, that shows thought on your part.
Thanks! :)
I was kind of frustrated as I played through Viridian Forest, as nothing interesting or worth writing about tends to happen there so I decided to make stuff up, lol. I didn't think I would end up dedicating two whole chapters to the place.

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TrainerBOB
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Chapter Seven is up!

Chapter Seven
Spoiler: click to toggle



Update:
Oh, and I forgot! Here's the hidden comedy allusion from Chapter 6 :)

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Edited by TrainerBOB, Dec 29 2011, 07:38 PM.
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Cypher DS
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Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Ah. I Googled a quick list of 1975 comedies, and while "Holy Grail" was included, your joke was buried just a little too well for me to pick out.

I thought William's constant "running away" might be the reference, but if that were the case I suppose he would have been chased by a French Miltank.
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