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| The different types of shits you have done. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 16 2011, 07:18 AM (209 Views) | |
| king benji I of pxe | Jul 16 2011, 07:18 AM Post #1 |
Shotter, hitter, serial killer.
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I bring this topic up as I'm about to punish some porcelain. Here are five I've written for your entertainment, I'll likely write more when I get the chance. 1. Shotgun Shit: It's that violent fecal expulsion that is all over in a matter of seconds. Generally this is preceded by crippling stomach pains. After you briskly walk to the toilet, you sit down ready for a long haul, only to be surprised by the earth shuddering methane expulsion which in turn forces all of the mud out of your asshole at the same time. Your stomach feels better instantly, however you question the toilets structural integrity after having experienced such a violent explosion of brown gold. 2. Popcorn Shit: Some what hilarious, but then again somewhat frustrating. The complete opposite of the aforementioned Shotgun Shit, the popcorn shit is that slow gassy periodic shit that sounds like popcorn being made, hence the name. Generally you can only muster pellets during this shit, causing you to perhaps reconsider whether you are actually a human, or a hairless goat. 3. Machine Gun Shit: It's the perfect middle of the two mentioned above. It's that potentially the gassiest of them all, as you are left wondering where your innards held all this gas as your anus explodes with a disturbing chorus of anal tunes. In between this unusual orchestra the actual shit itself happens, but you may not realize it until after you've snapped out of the trance that your beautiful butt music put you into. 4. Sideways Shit: Well, not technically, but fucking hell it feels it. Tears fill your eyes as you push out what you'd be forgiven for mistaking as being a long tubular planet, and you are filled with relief when the king of all shits finally leaves your anus. 5. Oh-shit-I-shouldn't-have-eaten-that-curry-last-night Shit: Your stomach gurgles, you can instantly tell you're about to experience a possible 1st degree burn on your ass hole. As you sit down and begin to release your butt soup, your anus begins to burn like the fires of hell. You try to think of a way to cool your anus down without looking like you have some sort of unusual perversion. For long after you've released this liquid poopy, your ass continues to burn. |
| hey you know what fuck you photobucket i actually liked my signature yOU CUNTS | |
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| Aether | Jul 16 2011, 07:29 AM Post #2 |
Kate Upton <3
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Add one about Ghost shits. |
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| Orange | Jul 16 2011, 07:30 AM Post #3 |
Fuck da police
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5. |
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| Faris | Jul 16 2011, 10:36 AM Post #4 |
wise and worldy wizard
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Number 1. Reminds me of my friends' "how would you shit and not to have toilet water splash on your ass" conversation |
 raw supersonic fucking rock and roll. | |
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| cat | Jul 16 2011, 01:36 PM Post #5 |
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how the fuck did you describe all of those nicely? practicing? 
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| king benji I of pxe | Jul 16 2011, 01:39 PM Post #6 |
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Shotter, hitter, serial killer.
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Just detailed remembrance of shits from time gone by. |
| hey you know what fuck you photobucket i actually liked my signature yOU CUNTS | |
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| geezerguy | Jul 16 2011, 03:09 PM Post #7 |
Better than Beneta
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So true man. I love the shits when you shit out every last remaining piece of shit from your arsehole, so when you wipe your arse there's nothing on the toilet paper. Feels good man. |
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| Aether | Jul 16 2011, 06:06 PM Post #8 |
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Kate Upton <3
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They are called Ghost Shits man. |
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| Xavier Hamilton | Jul 16 2011, 06:08 PM Post #9 |
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No ghost shits are when you fell like you've shit but when you wipe there isn't anything there and there isn't anything in the toilet. |
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| Aether | Jul 16 2011, 06:11 PM Post #10 |
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Kate Upton <3
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I've never heard them be classified as that. |
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| Xavier Hamilton | Jul 16 2011, 06:30 PM Post #11 |
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That's how I've always heard them as. 
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| king benji I of pxe | Jul 16 2011, 07:01 PM Post #12 |
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Shotter, hitter, serial killer.
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^ That. It's when you turn around expecting to find an enormous mud or at the very least something with substance, only to find that the toilet is seemingly fresh and no butt chocolate has graced it. |
| hey you know what fuck you photobucket i actually liked my signature yOU CUNTS | |
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| geezerguy | Jul 16 2011, 10:15 PM Post #13 |
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Better than Beneta
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FUCK THOSE TYPES OF SHITS CREEP ME OUT MAN IT'S LIKE, WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO? BACK UP MY ARSE? DID IT PICK UP SO MUCH SPEED AND MOMENTUM ON THE WAY DOWN IT JUST FLEW DOWN THE TOILET BY ITSELF? DID IT DISINTEGRATE? IT'S FUCKING MIND BOGGLING |
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| Faris | Jul 17 2011, 04:33 AM Post #14 |
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wise and worldy wizard
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Toilet paper...? Aw c'mon man, water's the best choice. Never had any ghost shits, except gas shits. Where there's nothing besides gas. |
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raw supersonic fucking rock and roll. | |
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| yossy | Jul 17 2011, 10:31 AM Post #15 |
best anus fingerer in ACT 2k17
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i sharted |
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the original, the only, yossy accept no substitute. 
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| iMac Hunt | Jul 17 2011, 01:32 PM Post #16 |
I don't deliver nudes cause I'm a faq
D:<
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Waterfall Shit? |
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| Taronitar | Jul 17 2011, 03:52 PM Post #17 |
Sneasel
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Exploding Shit. |
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| Nikkisaur | Jul 17 2011, 04:23 PM Post #18 |
Bad words (screwu2benji) destroyer lvl PWNAGE
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How about, my intestines cant process food and my colon is buggered shit? |
  Im back baby | |
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| Orange | Jul 17 2011, 05:10 PM Post #19 |
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Fuck da police
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I think that's a, "you're dead" shit |
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| Aether | Jul 18 2011, 03:24 AM Post #20 |
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Kate Upton <3
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That's what happens when you poop on people nikki. |
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