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Ramblings of whatever
Topic Started: Nov 21 2012, 05:20 AM (135 Views)
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I see diamond flooded demons

Okay, sooo

There was rollover
The guy died
His name is Brent
And I know him.

But no like know know him, like in that way you sorta know that guy down in accounting, know who he is, maybe his family life a lil bit but it stops there. Sure I feel a loss, a bit of sad. But it stops there. I don't care.

I don't. I think. It gets wierd. It was the same when my grandma died, not my close close grandma but the one in the nursing home a few hours a way, the one you see every few months. My mother, my sister my aunt cried. I'm sure my dad did somewhere too. I didn't do muh of nothing. I'm sure I laughed to myself at some point. Not smugly or nastily, just a laugh. I'm sure I found something humourous. That was about all I felt. I like to think I'm not dead inside. But she was family for pete's sake. And I laughed, giggled to myself.

But back to Brent.

I have other friends who knew him and his fam a bit better, not a ton more but enough. I haven't seen him, but I saw his younger sister.She's abou fifteen. She broke down when they made the announcent at.church. Now Brent and his fam don't live in my town, abou thirty miles away, tiny farm town. But it was noted, announcement made. And before she eve tiurned around to get up, I noticed.

I knew she was crying, and the larger circle hit me, of who it really effects. But at tje same time.I was mad, briefly, but I was mad. Mad again when I learned he may have lived.

He had no seat belt.
He was ejected, his body broken.

I think its my protective sense, it kicks in and brings something out of me. Something strong but reckless. I wanna protect them, make them feel right. But I can't. I have no possibly way of doing this in any way I want. I can't hold this person, give them my strenghth, my inhumane sense of not feeling, of burying something so deep it dies in its own dark well. She's like a little sister, and I know her family is there, I know she'll be fine, they are strong. But I still feel this need to hit something. Someone. Him. Brent.

But I can't.

What am I to do, punch a corpse and yell, yell at him fir being reckless, yell at him for something he couldn't control.

Yell.at him for making someone I care about cry?

Its insane and against everything rational I stand for. And for whatever I let things wallow in the pit of dark hole. Standing and creating a dark pillar I bear and slowly pull deep down to keep it from reaching the top. Eviscerating it, feeling into nothing.

Nothing at all.

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Deepthroatmeal

Is this a real situation or poetry? It came off very poetical.
Gyarados
 
I'm a soup spoon
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I see diamond flooded demons

Funeral is Friday

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Deepthroatmeal

That's often what suicide victims don't realize. It's a selfish decision to take your life, or handle it recklessly. You affect more people than you realize.
Gyarados
 
I'm a soup spoon
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I see diamond flooded demons

Where did I mention suicide?

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cat
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No idea.
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goal machine
Leighaeinayneauighne
Oatmeal is retarded
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Deepthroatmeal

I was just saying in this case or one involving suicide.
Gyarados
 
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Nikkisaur
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Bad words (screwu2benji) destroyer lvl PWNAGE

Jumpjumpjump

:D
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Im back baby
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