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| i had a dream last night, in which i was the baddest mother fucker ever. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 26 2012, 05:43 AM (940 Views) | |
| king benji I of pxe | Nov 26 2012, 05:43 AM Post #1 |
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Shotter, hitter, serial killer.
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And I'm glad I remember it so well. Okay, so I'm walking down the street right, when I see this group of cunts harassing this girl and telling her to hand over her phone, wallet and what not. One of them has a bat or something. So I walk over right, cool as fuck, and say "Hey guys, leave the girl alone eh?". All the shit stains turn around and look at me now and so does this girl. One of them says "What the fuck are you going to do about it ass hole?", to which I reply, in the most heroic Liam Neeson-esque way; "Me? Oh I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to throw fists or beat the shit out of any of you, but answer me this, how many bones are in your knee cap?" "Just on--" "That's right, just the one, but.." *At this point I brandish a pistol* "with this I could give you a few thousand. It's not up to me really, it's however many this gun wants to give you when it shatters your god forsaken fucking knee cap. Now, sit your degenerative asses down on that pavement and wait until the police arrive" *I start to call the cops but in-dream-bad-as-fuck-Benji isn't done yet* "in fact no, how about you all stand up and drop your pants. I'm going to make sure you get royally fucked by the long hard dick of the law" *Police arrive, and have them all arrested. I am a mother fucking hero and everyone loves my shit* I wish this would happen IRL ;_; |
| hey you know what fuck you photobucket i actually liked my signature yOU CUNTS | |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:45 AM Post #2 |
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Cool story. |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:46 AM Post #3 |
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You forgot to take the girl home and fuck her in the ass. |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:46 AM Post #4 |
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Also, dont be a pussy using a gun. Go Jackie Chan on their asses. |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:47 AM Post #5 |
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Seriously by calling the cops you looked like the bigger pussy, should've murdered them all, took away the girl and escaped with the murders never being solved while you plowed the girl every night for the rest of your life |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:47 AM Post #6 |
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Oh and you asked a bunch of men to drop their pants. Gay. |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:48 AM Post #7 |
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Was the girl even hot? I mean if she wasn't hot it wasn't even worth your time. |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:49 AM Post #8 |
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What girl carries a wallet? Don't they have purses? |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:50 AM Post #9 |
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You said you start to call the cops, but you never complete the cops. Do they track your phone number and find your position? Or do they just magically appear? |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:51 AM Post #10 |
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If it wasn't a bat then what was it? Nightstick? Flashlight? Shotgun? |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:51 AM Post #11 |
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Were any of them black? |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:52 AM Post #12 |
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You were walking down the street, was it daytime or night time? |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:54 AM Post #13 |
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I think this dream was over-hyped. This would not give me the impression that you were the baddest mother fucker ever. |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:54 AM Post #14 |
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If you were the baddest mother fucker ever, does that mean the woman the group was harassing was a Mother? and that you fucked her? |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:55 AM Post #15 |
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There she was just a-walkin' down the street, singin' "Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do" |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:56 AM Post #16 |
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This is perhaps the most I have ever posted in a single day |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:56 AM Post #17 |
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singin' "Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do" |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:56 AM Post #18 |
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I should come around here more often |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:56 AM Post #19 |
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singin' "Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do" |
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| Zenrad | Nov 26 2012, 06:57 AM Post #20 |
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I once had a dream... |
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