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Golfing Terms
Topic Started: May 28 2007, 01:17 PM (329 Views)
Ade
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Beth-prophet
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> A 'Paris Hilton* - an expensive hole
>
> A *Dennis Wise* - a nasty 5 footer
>
> A *Salman Rushdie* - an impossible read
>
> A *Rock Hudson* - looked straight, but it wasnt
>
> A *Cuban* - needed one more revolution
>
> An *Elton John *- a big bender that lips the rim
>
> An * Adolf Hitler* - two shots in the bunker
>
> A Saddam Hussein - from one bunker straight into another
>
> A * Yasser Arafat* - ugly and in the sand
>
> A *Kate Winslett* - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
>
> A *Gerry Adams* - playing a Provisional
>
> A *Glen Miller* - didn't make it over the water
>
> An *Arthur Scargill* - a great strike but a poor result
>
> A *Russell Grant* - a fat iron
>
> A *Rodney King* - over-clubbed
>
> An *O.J. Simpson* - got away with it
>
> A 'Princess Grace* - should have taken a driver
>
> A *Princess Di* - shouldn't have taken a driver
>
> A *Robin Cook* - just died on the hill
>
> A *Michael Jackson* - gradually fading
>
> A *Douglas Bader* - looked good in the air, but didnt have the legs
>
> A *Ken Livingstone* - quite far left
>
> A * Jean-Marie LePen* - a long way right
>
> A *Ladyboy* - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
>
> A *condom* - safe but didnt feel real good
>
> A *circus tent* - a BIG top
>
> An *Anna Kournikova* - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
>
> A * Vinnie Jones* - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
>
> A 'Sally Gunnell* - ugly, but a good runner
>
> A *Liz McColgan* - Ugly but runs forever
>
> A* Brazilian* - Shaves both sides of the hole
Went to the JobCentre today, and the Army were there going "Be the Best" ... now T-Mobile just told me I didn't have the qualifications to sell phones, Microsoft said I didn't have the qualifications to answer the phones, and the Army want to let me loose with a machine gun?
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Ali
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Ortonologist
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Never thought anything involving golf could be remotely funny or interesting, but that was rather good! :lol:

Now you're sittin' on a Paris train, laughing at your own jokes again
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Ade
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Beth-prophet
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
The two best ones were Adolf and Liz McColgan ... genius!

I've just started playing golf ... I am fudging dreadful!
Went to the JobCentre today, and the Army were there going "Be the Best" ... now T-Mobile just told me I didn't have the qualifications to sell phones, Microsoft said I didn't have the qualifications to answer the phones, and the Army want to let me loose with a machine gun?
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Ade
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Beth-prophet
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I feel a bit guilty on the Robin Cook quip, as although did lots of bad in the past, he had alot of conviction to resign from the cabinet over Iraq.

You have to admire that.
Went to the JobCentre today, and the Army were there going "Be the Best" ... now T-Mobile just told me I didn't have the qualifications to sell phones, Microsoft said I didn't have the qualifications to answer the phones, and the Army want to let me loose with a machine gun?
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Ali
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Ortonologist
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
What did he ever do that was bad, apart from cheat on his wife?

He was one of the very few members of the current Labour government I had any time for ... a man of real integrity.

(The funny thing is I was a Labour supporter my whole life, until the last ten years. It took Tory Tony to make Labour electable, but it turned me into a rabid anarchist!)

:vhappy:

Now you're sittin' on a Paris train, laughing at your own jokes again
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rc.cope
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Forum HIstorian
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Politics has reached a new low across the board, Ali. Not just here nor there...everywhere!
What kills me is how Bush and his cronies call themselves 'conservatives', yet they have no problem spending billions upon billions for a meaningless war.
Yet here I sit, a Democrat...I am peace loving, non violent, patrician...I think I qualify to be called 'conservative' a lot more than those fools.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
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