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| The Ace invades | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 4 2009, 11:22 AM (143 Views) | |
| Ace | Jan 4 2009, 11:22 AM Post #1 |
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Cunt
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"So how are we going to kick this party off?" "Excuse me?" My name is Ace Marshall. Ace was my father's name, but he's dead and no one cares. He didn't like Junior and neither did I so even back when I was just a spat of his DNA we agreed on not having that on my Birth Certificate. So if you call me Junior, I'm going to slap you. Respect your elders damn it. As far as today is concerned, if I had to tell you about me, I'm rich. I have more money then you most likely, and if you want some too bad. I worked hard for this money. Know how many lottery tickets I had to purchase to get what I have? A lot. And now I spend my days wrestling because I do so enjoy gropping the other performers and back handing them in a display of pure dominance. Some say I'm a bit of a masochist, but I still prefer you to call me Ace. "I said the party. How are we kicking this bad boy off?" The other man looked at Ace in question unsure of what he was speaking on. The two were currently in a bit of a tango, or to be more specific they were neighbors at the urinals. Ace was prepared to sign a contract that would make Supreme Championship Wrestling his new domain. This other man was most likely part of the production crew or a janitor for all Ace knew. He didn't really care. Man: "What're you talking about?" Ace: "Are you having a brain fart? The Cock Party! And where there is a Cock Party obviously yours truly was invited to make the others groan in envy and lust. Don't be shy, take a peek. It'll make your day." Man: "...I think you're in the wrong building." Ace: "Heavens no! Are you off your rocker or what? SCW is proudly opening up the liberal doors and letting in the fruit of the loops with one big bash! We're supposed to be in the main lobby at three jerking each other off while the pro abortionists take their turns killing fetuses and to celebrate the New Year we're going to set the bar as far as what is stylish with meatloaf pants. Trendy, warm, and beefy!" Man: "You're crazy." Ace: "Speaking of beef..." Ace started looking over his side toward the man. Man: "Get away from me!" Ace: "Come on now, don't be shy..." The man stopped himself from peeing in mid stream and rushed his way out of the bathroom while fixing his pants. Ace looked at his watch and smiled truimphedly. Twenty seven seconds. That's a new record. In case you people are wondering, no I'm not gay. If anything I hate men. I'd be a woman if I could be just because then I'd have more stuff to play with when I'm home alone. Ace finished his own business and went over to the sink to freshen up. I've made men beg for their lives and women beg for more. I've made children cry and the elderly flee, walker and all. If there's a God out there he's certainly looking down on my enemies. That guy your parents always warned you to stay away from, yeah. That's me. No I don't have candy or a brown van. Although your child's asshole will in one way or another belong to me after I take what's mine from your women. Obviously that's one for you guys out there. For the women...Meh. I'll let my actions and your hearts shattering speak loudest. I'm just loads and loads of fun. I'm an artist and I paint with experience. Andy Kaufman was a man ahead of his time, but I won't compare myself to him persay. He was a comedian. I'm just an asshole. Twenty minutes later Ace found himself seated across from the man who he would later call boss, as well as around fifty other nick names. Drachewych was a pain. Mr. Doom or Stinky Head would probably be more popular for a while. Nick names change a lot for him. "So what can I expect from you?" Ace: "I really like apples." "Can I pay you with an orchid then?" Ace: "Ha! Nice try. No. Fifty Euros and a blowjob and then we might be on to something." "..." Ace: "From a diva of course." "I'm sure you can try to work that out yourself. Anyways, here's what was agreed upon. This is a contract everyone signs coming in, as time passes and this contract is about to expire we can make changes based on your performance and the fans you may be bringing in. This is a business like anything else." Ace: "What if I scare people away? Do I get a pay cut?" "...Don't think we've had that problem before but who knows. We have quite the variety here." Ace didn't hesitate as Stinky Head placed the contract down on the table. Not even bothering to read a single line he flipped right to the end and signed along the dotted line. "I was going to ask if you have any questions but you've already sold your soul." Ace: "Actually I sold my soul years ago, you just got ripped off." "Welcome to the SCW." Ace: "How do you pronounce your name?" And here I begin. I am Ace Marshall. |
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3:34 AM Jul 11