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| Body Slam!; (Rick Rohl promo v. Marcus Briggs) | |
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| Topic Started: May 19 2009, 11:46 AM (53 Views) | |
| fullMETAL | May 19 2009, 11:46 AM Post #1 |
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Belt Designer and IWC's GFX Tranny
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![]() PERSON: Rick Rohl PROMO TITLE: Body Slam! MATCH: Marcus Briggs v. Rick Rohl PROMO CONTENT: (Promo: Breakdown)Fade in to a gym, with its logo covered over by a black drop cloth, which itself is covered by a white drop cloth with “Gym Extraordinary” written on it in thick black marker. Rick Rohl is staring a life-sized giant cardboard standee of his opponent, Marcus Briggs, in the face with a puzzled expression. He glances to his left at the grinning face of his client, former SCW Champion James Exeter. Goofy-but-upbeat and energizing 80’s power-guitar motivational music is playing in the background, but we cannot tell whether it’s coming from the gym’s speakers or was added in during post-production. Rick Rohl: …Explain to me ONE more time how you got this…? James Exeter: It’s SIMPLE, my fine fallow friend… Rick Rohl: —That’s the wrong way to use that word… James Exeter: (not listening) As we all know, SCW likes to cover all its bases, in the event that anybody manages to rise to the EXTRAORDINARY level of men like me. You see, Mr. Dracula-- Rick Rohl: (correcting him) Mr. Drachewych. James Exeter: Mr. Darkwing Duck… Rick Rohl: Drachewych. James Exeter: Rachel Dratch… Rick Rohl: (trying to help him) Dra…che…wych…? James Exeter: That owner guy…you see, the FIRST bit of merchandise he has commissioned with each new contract is a life-sized cardboard cutout thingie. And since you have to face this Marcus Briggs guy this week, I figured that it would be pretty convenient if you stood face-to-face with him BEFORE you ACTUALLY stood face-to-face with him, so that you can prep for how BIG that guy is. Rohl sighs in exasperation. Rick Rohl: Why am I being booked against all these big guys all of a sudden…? Don’t they know I still need to shake my moneymaker OUTSIDE the ring, and that I need my back 100% in order to do that? James Exeter: Details details, Rick! Now…the FIRST thing you need to know is, ANY time you step into the ring with a 400-plus pounder like that guy, you must make it your MISSION to BODY-SLAM him at least ONCE. Doing THAT makes you-- Rick Rohl: …Extraordinary? James Exeter: Actually…YES. It DOES make you extraordinary. EVERY time a man of Mark Briggs’s size… Rick Rohl: MARCUS Briggs, James. James Exeter: (continuing, once again not listening) …gets body-slammed, the guy who DID it gets remembered FOREVER. When Big John Studd got body-slammed by the Big Show… Rick Rohl: Wrong “Giant”, James. James Exeter: When Mark Henry got body-slammed by Mange… Rick Rohl: Kane. James Exeter: When Hulk Hogan body-slammed Andre the Giant AND Paul Wight in the same night…! Rick Rohl: It was 15 years apart. James Exeter: And when Lex Luthor body-slammed Rikishi in his Power Suit…! Rick Rohl: Lex LUGER body-slammed Yokozuna after a Bionic Forearm…and it technically wasn’t even a real slam like Hogan’s was. James Exeter: The POINT IS…ALL of those are INSTANTLY MEMORABLE EVENTS, made EXTRAORDINARY by the fact that it was a HUGE DUDE getting body-slammed, and YOU gotta make sure you do it this week against Riggs. Rick Rohl: Briggs. James Exeter: Right. Now…STARE HIM DOWN. Look in his eyes and let him know you’re not going to back down; let him know you’re going to make your way into the history books; LET HIM KNOW…that you’re EXTRAORDINARY. GO! Rohl nods and stares daggers into the Briggs standee, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes in an expression of fierce determination…which doesn’t look all that different from his DEFAULT expression…but what’re ya gonna do? (shrug) He squares his feet as he hears a sudden shout from James. James Exeter: COMIN’ AT’CHA!! Suddenly, the standee is knocked over from behind as a heavy bag swings through it…taking Rohl by surprise and flooring him on the thin blue mat beneath him. He looks up at James, mostly in disbelief. Rick Rohl: What was THAT for?? James Exeter: True-to-life simulation, Ricky! He’s going to be comin’ at’cha with the force of a freight train and YOU need to stand your ground like you’re SUPERMAN—MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE! Got it? Rick Rohl: *grooooannnn* Ugh, got it. Exeter grabs his hand and helps him up as we fade from there to the SCW interview area, in front of the giant laser-cut SCW logo. Rohl is standing with a mic-wielding Backstage Correspondent Marisa Condolesa. Marisa Condolesa: Rick Rohl, we just saw a little bit of your *ahem* “training” that was taking place before your match against yet ANOTHER man who could easily match you in stature here in SCW. Your thoughts? Rick Rohl: Well, Marisa…I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t puzzled as to why I’m suddenly getting booked against larger-sized wrestlers like we’re the WWE…but it’s my job, and I’m going to gyrate my hips on down to that ring like I always do, and I’m going to stare right into his eyes with NO FEAR in mine, Marisa. Marisa Condolesa: NO FEAR??? Rick Rohl: Well…maybe a LITTLE bit of fear; the guy DOES weigh over 400 pounds and even though I’m about 275; I’m no bodybuilder, just really ridiculously well-defined; you won’t find any steroids in the ingredient list for THIS hunk of beefcake, no-siree. Marisa Condolesa: (eyeing him lustfully) Mmmm, don’t I know it! (regaining her composure) *AHEM* Given the fact that your employer has given you a direct order to body-slam Marcus Briggs in your match…win OR lose, it seems…do you think it’s AT ALL possible to accomplish this rather Herculean task? Rick Rohl: No, not at all, no way, no how. Marisa Condolesa: Really? Rick Rohl: (slight smirk) No…you’ve just been Rick-Rohl’d. And when Marcus Briggs steps into that ring with ME, the Extraordinary Bodyguard, HE’S going to find out just why I’m REDEFINING “Rick-Roll”…right before he gets the Most Extraordinary Body-Slam EVER. FADE TO BLACK. |
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Breakdown)




3:34 AM Jul 11