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| Topic Started: Aug 29 2009, 07:05 PM (87 Views) | |
| Porno Lad IWC | Aug 29 2009, 07:05 PM Post #1 |
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Uncrowned Tag Team Champion
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-didnt realize it was 5 pm instead of the usual 11 and i had no internet to check so here is my last one just for your enjoyment- Narrator: On the Last Episode of the Lad’s Lounge Porno Lad found out that Greaternity member Ace Marshall had sex with his Ex girlfriend and bane of his existence Katelyn Buehler. And this couldn’t happen at a worse time for Porno Lad on the eve of a epic battle with SCW Goddess Katie steward. But our hero has found a remedy for this problem he has given Ace Marshall money to go buy a shot gun and bullets. With these bullets and shot gun Porno Lad has ordered Ace to Kill Katelyn ending her reign of terror. Will Porno Lad be able to defeat Katie Steward and continue his streak of defeating top contenders for the SCW title. So now Porno Lad awaits the return of Ace Marshall with the good news of the murder of Katelyn Buehler… Now for the second part of our story…. We go to a shot of Porno Lad sitting at his desk on the set of the Lad’s lounge he looks anxious as he taps his finger on the desk impatiently. Porno Lad: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen I know I look a little uneasy but that is because I have sent Ace Marshall to kill my ex girlfriend, bane of my existence and Brat pack member Katelyn Buehler. The mission is simple enough buy a shot gun shot Katelyn in the face and then shot her a few times in the torso just to make sure that the job is done. I know I’m not asking for much just the murder of some one who in all honesty deserves to die and who’s death would be a service to humanity. Porno Lad starts to tap his pencil on the desk. Obviously the self proclaimed interm Greaternity leader is getting impatient with Ace taking so long. Porno Lad: How long does it really take to purchase a shot gun and bullets load it find the biggest slut on the planet my ex Katelyn Buehler. Then shot said slut beast in the face and then bust a few more rounds in a torso just to be sure that she is dead for sure. Porno Lad pauses for a moment hearing something through his ear piece. Porno Lad: I just received word that Ace is on his way to the studio hit the music. The band begins to play “ding dong the witch is dead” Porno Lad hums to the tune moving his head to the music a smile on his face. Ace walks through the entrance a cautious expression on his face. Porno Lad: Ladies and Gentlemen my long time rival and friend Ace Marshall! The audience applauds as Ace slowly walks to the desk taking a seat on the couch on the farside away from Porno Lad. Porno Lad: Ace its great to see your back. On the eve of my match with Katie Steward this is great that the witch is dead. Ace: Witch old witch? Porno Lad: The Wicked witch is deadddd. Ace looks away trying to avoid eye contact with Porno Lad. Porno Lad: Wait a second….why are you looking away like that…cut the music. The music stops. Ace: I um…sort of…didn’t kill her. Porno Lad: Did you maim her? I’ve heard that some times it does take decapitation to purge the world of such evil as that of my skankish succubus ex girlfriend. Ace: Ummm Porno Lad: Ace your suppose to be a bastard again not a sniveling bitch. Ace: So about Katelyn- Porno Lad: What about her she’s evil and not in a good way. That she is a skank of the biggest proportions. That she’s dead or lying with her insides spread out all over the floor in neat little piles. Katelyn’s bloody and violent death is essential in my plans for Apocalypse essential in defeating Katie Steward. See Katie thinks that she has an advantage over me with that bitch Katelyn on her side I need to remedy her of such an advantage you Ace were that remedy you were suppose to go to a hardware store buy a shot gun. And then proceed to find Katelyn and shot her in the face following it up with several insurance shots to the torso to be sure that the wicked heinous bitch is at last dead and out of my life forever. Ace: Yea about that I sort of….. Porno Lad: You sort of accidentally killed Autumn Daniels as well? I’m sure that will only make Damian Angel more darker then he already was maybe he’ll actually get a win. As long as that bitch Katelyn is dead and Katie doesn’t have her great advantage over me everything is fantastic. Ace: I didn’t kill Autumn- Porno Lad: That’s fine maiming Robin Brooks and Paris Dannon is fine to shooting off a few fingers dismemberment is defiantly a plus when it concerns the Brat pack. Ace: I didn’t dismember any one. Porno Lad: Ok that’s alright that wasn’t even what you were ordered to do it would have earned you some points yes. But its ok. Ace: I didn’t kill Katelyn either. Porno Lad: What the fuck. Ace: I sort of…er…. Porno Lad: Beat her into a coma with a baseball bat? Ace: I sort of had sex with her. Porno Lad: How can you sort of have sex with some one. Ace: Well you see I bought the shot gun and the bullets I found her and then we started talking. Porno Lad: How can you have sex with some one by talking to them when did you go from pointing a shot gun at the bitch to having your penis in her. Ace: I- I know you didn’t want me to but she’s hot. Porno Lad: She’s not hot she’s a hideous whore beast. Ace: I’m sorry man. But you lied to me its not legal for people named Ace to kill people named Katelyn in this state. Porno Lad: Yes it is. Ace: No it isn’t Porno Lad: Yes it is. Ace: I checked online. Porno Lad: Where. Ace: Wikipedia. Porno Lad: Damnit they must have edited my entry in state laws… Ace: So you were willing to let me go to jail for murder? Porno Lad: I figured there was a chance you could get away with it. Ace: No you didn’t Porno Lad: Alright I didn’t that biotch cost me my title I was an awesome champion I elevated that title to heights it had never been before but now that she has it the belt has lost all credibility. And the bitch is out to make my life a living hell, Ace: And having her murdered will solve your problems. Porno Lad: Well obviously yes. And your not doing anything with your life. Figured I might as well make use of it some how. Ace: You’re a dick. Porno Lad: No you’re a dick. Ace: No your a dick. Porno Lad: No you are the one who is a dick. Ace: How am I a dick when I wasn’t the one who tried to get the other sent to jail for murder. Porno Lad: Your still bitter about that? Ace: It just happened. Porno Lad: I really expected you to be over it by now. Ace: How can I be over it when we haven’t resolved anything. Porno Lad: Well I was considering forgiving you for not killing Katelyn but now I’m not going to. Ace: You’re an asshole Ethan. Porno Lad: You’re a traitor to the greaternity. Ace: I was in the greaternity before you. Porno Lad: No you weren’t. Ace: Yes I was you joined the group to prove you were better then me. Porno Lad: And we are certainly proved I was right. Ace: I lost one match and you eliminated me in one battle royal that does not make you better then me. You’re the one that lost your title to your own woman. Porno Lad: Is poor little Ace mad. Listen up bitch I’m the leader here you’re the monkey if I want you to dance around playing cymbals that’s what your going to do. Ace: Your such a dick. Porno Lad: And yet you’d do the exact same thing in my position. Ace pauses. Ace: Your right I would. Porno Lad: Then you shouldn’t be bitter because the Ace I knew would have been a total ass if I was in your situation. Ace: Your right But now you may end up going with two loses in a row to chicks one you banged and one you want to bang, Porno Lad: And bang her I WILL! Ace: I got to apologize for something Ethan your probably gonna be pissed. Porno Lad: it’s ok that you didn’t kill Katelyn maybe we’ll luck out and she’ll get ran over by a snow blower or something. Ace: Not that. Porno Lad: You didn’t accidentally kill Chekov did you. Ace: No you see Katelyn…sort of came with me here. Porno Lad: What the fuck! You let that bitch enter my sanctum…Alive! Damn you Ace this is not cool it is not cool at all. Ace: I’m sorry she promised me a bj. Porno Lad: You could have bought he a burger from Burger king and you’d get one of those Katelyn is easy. Ace: Well if I knew that Earlier…. Katelyn: Hey lovers. The camera turns and we see the bane of Porno Lad’s existence his ex Girlfriend and Brat Member the reigning IWC NHB Champion Katelyn Buehler. She wears a black halter top, with matching mini skirt with a silver ringlet belt and knee high boots. The IWC NHB title hangs off her shoulder she has a devious smile on her face as she slowly walks on stage towards Porno Lad’s desk. Porno Lad: Security get out your flame throwers. Katelyn: Ethan. Ethan, Ethan you are so funny. Porno Lad: I’m not joking where are those flame throwers. Katelyn: Ethan why so mad now you actually have a quality guest on your lame ass show. And after tomorrow night when Katie Steward beats your dumb ass at Apocalypse just like I did at upping the ante this is going to be the highlight of your weekend. Porno Lad: Yea about as good as getting a lobotomy. Isn’t it enough you make my life miserable in IWC can’t you just leave me alone. Don’t you have anything better to do with your pathetic life. Katelyn: Sure I do but where would the fun in that be. Your so cute when you get angry. Porno Lad: You look cute when you have an axe implanted in the side of your head. Ace look what you’ve done she’s ruining my show and it’s all your fault. Ace: How Is it my fault? Porno Lad: You had sex with her and then brought her here with out shooting her in the face. Katelyn: Well he did shot me with something but it wasn’t in the face…it was in the mouth. Katelyn says with a evil smirk before sticking out her tongue. Porno Lad: You’re a slut has any one ever told you that. Katelyn: Not a slut…I am THE Slut. Porno Lad: And that makes you one fucked up bitch to take pride in being such a giant piece of trash. Katelyn: And I can’t even imagine how it feels to be the one that lost his title to this piece of trash. Ace: She got you there. Porno Lad: Are you a member of the Greaternity or the Brat Pack because at this point I am starting to get a little confused where your loyalities lie. Katelyn: Ethan just because he has sex with your sworn enemy doesn’t me he is going to up and join the Brat Pack. Porno Lad: Katelyn If I had a knife right now I’d let you hold it for me in your eye ball socket. Katelyn: Charming Ethan. And besides we wouldn’t let Ace in the Brat pack he’s not a woman and the brat pack is an all girls club. Porno Lad: Fucking traitor if Winters weren’t off on some soul finding journey I am sure he would agree that you should be sent to the gallows…Both of you. Katelyn: Just because I beat you for your title doesn’t mean you have to be bitter. Porno Lad: Yes It does mean I have to be bitter. And you’ve invaded my show! I don’t care if you show up in Katie Stewards snorefest of a Queens court but this is the Lad’s lounge the best wrestler host talk show on the face of the planet this is not just a slight at me but an act of terrorism on the entire human race. Katelyn: Uh-oh here he goes on one of his 9/11 rants. Ace: Yup. Porno Lad: On September 11 2001 we were attacked by the terrorists- Katelyn: Do I really have to hear this I’ve heard it about a thousand times Ace: I heard it about two hundred. Porno Lad: It is important that the people know where I stand when it concerns acts of terrorism and Katelyn showing up on my show interrupting it the way she is interrupting it is most defiantly an act of terrorism. And on the eve of suich an important event like Apocalypse this act of terrorism against America will not be condoned. America does not condone terrorism. And Porno Lad is a proud American and I will not step aside as you Katelyn… You lousy no good two bit crackwhore continues to commit acts of terror against my country. Katelyn: Ethan I am American too. And how is being on your show an act of terror. Sure Katie’s chairs are much more comfortable on the queens court but last time I checked America is a free country. Porno Lad: Free for heroes like Chuck Norris, Stephen Colbert, Georage W Bush and Ron Jeremy but it is not free for sluts and whores like you. Women like you should be chained up and sold by jawa’s to unsuspecting farm hands. Katelyn: So why is it so bad that I like having sex you’ve probably had sex with more women then I have men. Porno Lad: Because each time I bang another chick that makes me a greater hero. Each time you open your legs to another guy it makes you an even more gigantic whore. Katelyn: And how am I so horrible and you are such a hero. Porno Lad: Because I am a man! Now make me my dinner woman. Ace: If your going to make something Katelyn can you make me a grilled cheese with swiss cheese but make sure all of the holes are filled…I hate it when holes aren’t filled. Katelyn glares at Ace Disdainfully. Katelyn: All because you’re a man I am some kind of monster some kind of scum for enjoying Sex. Society is pretty damn fucked up if it agrees with your line of thinking. Porno Lad: It does and why wouldn’t it you’re not just a whore but a bitch as well. And you fucked my father…slut. Katelyn: You fucked my sister long before I fucked your dad you fucking asshole. Porno Lad: This is a family show Katelyn please cut down on the profanity. Katelyn: Your swearing so whats the difference. Porno Lad: This is my show that is the difference. I’m allowed to swear. Ace: Are you two going to vent all your old laundry here? Both Pl and Katelyn: Shut up Ace! Ace: Jezz… Porno Lad: Katelyn I think you’ve outstayed your welcome on the show how about you go find a cliff or something and go jump off it. But make sure you don’t take that belt with you I want it back. And I don’t want to have to sanitize so much the gold is cleaned off it. Katelyn: You mean like this. Katelyn brings the belt up to her mouth and licks the center piece Porno lad responds by cringing in horror. Porno Lad: I would love to punch you… right in the face just once really hard… Katelyn: Oh tough words big man But I guess that’s where your pathetic career has gotten. Maybe your too scared to face any actual competition that you have to go around beating women. I would think that if I didn’t know that both Katie Steward and my self are far better wrestlers then you will ever be and it will be a thing of pure beauty when its Brat Pack 2…Greaternity 0. It really will…See what I have figured out since joining the Brat Pack is there is only one thing I need a man for. But the rest I have friends now true loyal friends and I will be cheering on Katie as she beats you at Apocalypse and it will be one of the best experiences of my life seeing you walk out of that building in shame. Porno Lad: Really I thought the best experience of your life was when pregnancy tests were on sale buy 2 get one free. Katelyn: Your so funny Ethan but your not going to be laughing after Apocalypse. Porno Lad: I’ll be laughing because I’m going to kick your new best friend right in the face and then I’m going to give her the pussy pounding of a life time. Katelyn: Katie would rather have an at home lobotomy. Porno Lad: Katie must really want a Lobotomy because what chick wouldn’t want some of me I am HOT. Katelyn: Not every woman in the world wants you. Porno Lad: I’d like to see proof otherwise... That coming from you is a bunch of bullshit the girl that just a few weeks ago was begging and pleading for me to take her back. The girl that showed up in my bedroom offering me her cheap slut body. Yea right Katelyn if there is any proof that all women love me and can’t resist me. Katelyn: You’re a prick but you know what I still have your title and I am still the first person to get a pinfall victory over you. And I know that bothers you far more then anything that you can say to me will ever bother me. Because your ego is so huge you think I’m pathetic. I was pathetic thinking that an ass hole like you was even capable of love. I loved you but I realized that it was a waste of time that you were a waste of my time. The only thing the two of us could ever have was sex and sure it was good sure it was great. But in the end it was hallow because all the emotion I had was wasted on you. I know that now But I don’t regret it because it taught me about the world. It taught me that the world can be cruel the world can be harsh. That one second you can feel like a million bucks and then the next you can feel like dirt that’s how you made me feel. But I know that by doing what I did at upping the ante to you. It hurt you it actually hurt you more then any thing you ever did to me and that makes me happy… The first real happiness that I don’t need any kind of emotion in return except for your misery. Porno Lad: Yea well I boinked your sister so there. Porno Lad says flipping Katelyn the bird. Katelyn: Go to hell….I’m going to leave now Oh by the way Katie sends her regards good luck at Apocalypse. Porno Lad: Good luck uncovering every STD known to man you fucking Petri dish. Katelyn flips off Porno Lad and walks off stage with the same confidence she walked onto the stage with. Porno Lad: Ace never bring that bitch onto my show again or I will find a way of torture that has yet to be invented and use it on you. Ace: That doesn’t make any sense. Porno Lad: Just shut the hell up. I can’t believe I was blindsided on my own show by that bitch no less. Fuck and you know Katie sent her to get into my head to give her some sort of advantage going into the match at Apocalypse. Ace: Or Katelyn just came to fuck with your head she seems to like doing that. Porno Lad: Just like how I would like to beat her skull in with a shovel. But She hasn’t given Katie the Advantage or anything going into this match. She’s given me another reason to beat Katie Steward and then by the end of the night have her in bed as well you know why Ace? Ace: Why because you have great hair? Porno Lad: No because I pwn! I am the best thing in this business why wouldn’t any woman want to be with me. Being with the hottest guy means that you have something. It brings meaning to they’re existence. Katie probably realizes it deep within that little brain of hers that to be the top woman of wrestling to be the unquestioned top you got to be with the top man and that isn’t Exeter that isn’t Kingdom over in IWC its me because I am the future not just of the SCW not just of the IWC but this entire business and Katie is going to find that out and then she’s going to have her chance in the spotlight…And I just know she will take it. And If she doesn’t then she is a bigger idiot then everyone thinks she is. Ace: Epic… Porno Lad: Epic indeed and For Katie Steward its going to be Epic…Fail…. -FiN- |
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3:34 AM Jul 11