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CHAMPIONS

2018 Anzac Cup Winners : BETTER THAN SEX /with Vile vince Viper & Spike Nelson

S.W.A.T. International Champion: "Industrial Man" Attila Balan

S.W.A.T. World Tag Team Champions : "Bro Code" Calum Morgan & Paul Blair

Atlantic Coast Heavyweight Champion: Beelzebozo

Amazons Champion: Jade

Amazons Pan Amazon Champion: Wildcat Lynn Brewster

2017 "of the Years"

Wrestler: Pyschotic Goth

Fued: Daniel Collins vs "Timeless" Alex Turner

Most Popular: The Industrial Man

Most Hated: Vile "vince" Viper

Amazon: Suzi Spits

Match: Beelzebozo Vs Industrial Man (Helloween Cup Final)
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Most Of My Heroes Don't Appear On No Stamps; Promo thread for the Great MIDWEST Migration
Topic Started: Feb 3 2018, 03:45 PM (144 Views)
TripleV
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Pres4Life

SWAT MIDWEST EXPLODES!!!

Do you have a wannabe wrestlecrap character you think would suit the failed Midwest region? Get them over here with promos 150 words or less.


*Anyone choosing to participate will be featured in our upcoming Midwest tribute show on Feb. 23rd
Edited by TripleV, Feb 4 2018, 01:54 AM.
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Deleted User
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CowTipper Gore

"SWAT MIDWEST, I came here to do two things:
1.) tip over cows

2.) wrestle

And I'm a little too tired to wrestle. So lock up your daughters and bring on the sleepy bovines! The moon is full and I have a mind to overturn some livestock."
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TripleV
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Pres4Life

[With LEFT Tentacle going to SWAT West Coast to call Hell's Bouncer a cocksucker, Sirius Man is short on sane characters to interact with and couldn't be happier about the Midwest new blood. The SWAT B locker room leader is in the middle of shovelling droppings out of the yard where the next show is going down.]

Sirius Man: You know what we have a lot of here in backyard? Grass. You know what's bad for grass? Cows. Couldn't be happier to have you join us, Gore!

[The SWAT Ultimate Champion goes back to lawn care, why couldn't he have had a cool job like blacksmith or pop singer?]

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IndustrialMan
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Champion of Industry

{{Ever since the train came in, fewer people have been using stagecoaches. The freeway didn't help matters. In this land of wrestlers holding down second jobs in antiquated industries, it just made sense to keep the route up. Besides, the Johnson family farm relies on the porters that stop off on the long road to Pierre, so there is no option but to continue riding. A stagecoach pulls into frame.}}

Deadwood Dick Jones: All aboard.

Blind folks: Is this a cab? We need to get to North Dakota.

Deadwood Dick Jones: Don't we all.

{{SWAT Midwest - its a start.}}
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JohnVFerrigno
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ChaosClown

V/O: HEY KIDS! IT'S BEELZEBOZO TIME!

[Even though Moose Masks don't change expression, anyone can tell that under the frozen look on the Masked Marvel, Anonymoose is beyond disgusted.]

Anonymoose: Do I really have to do this?

[Beelzebozo, paying more attention to a porno mag and smoking a cigar, barely acknowledges the horror his sidekick is experiencing.]

Buster: Yes, you do. You said you wanted to be in show business!

[Anonymoose takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and shoves his rubber encased hand right up an elephants ass. His arm goes up to the elbow, and then a sickening SQUISH hits the air as he removes his arm, and a metric ton of elephant shit explodes out of Dumbo's ass.]

Buster: Good job, my boy!

[Anonymoose stands frozen, his shit covered arm in the air as "The Touch" by Stan Bush plays loudly.]

Anonymoose: Oh God. My arm smells a Psychotic Goth promo.

[Anonymoose vomits.....which is hotrendous, because his head is enclosed in a moose head. He races out of the room.]

Buster: And the inside of your mask is like Damian Payne's!

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IndustrialMan
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Champion of Industry

{{After that brutal confession match, Zoran Sainovic suns himself on a beach in Mexico. The former KGB special operative turned wrestling mad scientist takes a sip from his frozen strawberry daiquiri before scowling at the camera.}}

ZS: Congratulations on the win Cariboo... I am currently recuperating from our conversation with a two week paid vacation. One of the perks that comes with being an employee of Luchian Inc. The Menagerie is owned by Luchian, you're employed by them right? How goes the R & R, cariboo?

{{Snickering to himself the horrible Eastern European goes back to his tan.}}
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Timeless
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Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl, she was so cute, the nicest thing you could ever see, until the day she became a woman. Then, she became even nicer, if that was even possible or good English.

She became the most gorgeous, smoking hot goddess the world has ever known.

Never have the gods gifted such a beauty, such is her radiance, they themselves sit in adulation of her, not envy like in the old days of their creations, this is the perfect creation and all worship her existence. They even rewarded her man Timeless with the gift of Time and Space to please her.

She is Roxanne Richards. Super hot valet to Timeless Alex Turner. And now, SWAT Backyard ass kicker!

That’s right, and any doosh bags don’t want to put her over, Timeless has a metal fist ready to knock you the fuck out!
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IndustrialMan
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Champion of Industry

{{The Industrial Man is building a display case in his midsection to display the SWAT International Title.}}

AB: Backyard promotion - my previous appearances in your promotion were against my contract. Bad business moves designed to placate my best friend. With the SWAT International Title now under my programming, I can safely traverse all realms of the Syndicate Wrestling's holdings. So whether its Vincent, Buster, the cab driver, the alcohol advertisement or Roxy, you will find this unit to be a fighting champion.

{{Drilling the last bolts into his display case, the International champion places the strap inside it for safe keeping. OPTIMAL.}}
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