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| Snakes blowing up the lines of d e s i g n; PROMO THREAD for April programs | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 6 2018, 11:44 AM (93 Views) | |
| TripleV | Apr 6 2018, 11:44 AM Post #1 |
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Pres4Life
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The WAR CONTINUES. As the battle for abandoned regions heats up, VVV is taking the fight to the recently vacated WEST COAST with a Spring Expansion that will make Regan O'Neil's head spin. How many disenfranchised XWCW players can he absorb on his way to burning every drawable town in America? PROMO HERE for our random April shows. Line-ups are rarely released, so suggestions in trash talk are always appreciated - or at least acknowledged. Never bothered sending in an application? No worries. If you promo here we will DEFINITELY use your character, just to get under Stefan Slain's skin. Edited by TripleV, Apr 6 2018, 11:55 AM.
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| IndustrialMan | Apr 6 2018, 03:24 PM Post #2 |
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Champion of Industry
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{{Zoran Sainovic scowls through a hospital gift shop.}} ZS: Caribou, you zink to rob me ov my revenge? {{Keen powers of observation during his time as a secret police officer let Sainovic know that the young man next to him is thinking of picking up the last remaining pink stuffed rabbit toy. With the lightning speed required to pluck a man's eye out without thinking about it, Sainovic snatches up the toy. The hospital gift shop can be a brutal mistress. Leaving his victim to pick up a trashy magazine about Kardashian divorces - Time - Sainovic walks up to the cash.}} ZS: You broke me, Caribou. Then you broke yourself. Vell played. A vorthy adversary, but it is not over yet. Vith zis plush doll ov ze highland cattle, I vill vish you a speedy recover. I vill see you in ze ring again, even if I have to replace every part ov your body with antelope parts. Ve vill get you valking again! ...Zhen I vill finish you! {{Paying for the rabbit toy, SWAT mad scientist turns his attention back to the nursing station. It is almost time for visiting hours.}} |
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| TripleV | Apr 8 2018, 12:45 PM Post #3 |
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Pres4Life
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[An animal catcher attempts to harness a stray golden retriever in the park.] Young Woman: Wait that’s mine! Dog Catcher: Do you have his papers? [Papers?] [Proof?] [From a bench within ear shot, The Dog Faced Luchador looks glum. Proof of ownership. Sirius Man is the Ultimate champion of SWAT, but Zork Nontext still has his belt.] Sirius Man: You’re on borrowed time, Nontext... Dogs catcher: Sure he is, champ. Sure he is. |
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| IndustrialMan | Apr 12 2018, 12:04 AM Post #4 |
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Champion of Industry
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{{Sanitation workers have a hard time masking their horror as Zoran Sainovic emerges from a bin full of medical refuse. Pulling some pus encrusted gauze from his hair, the former eastern bloc secret policeman turned mad scientist wrestler seems unfazed by his embarrassing spill. Reaching up, Sainovic rips a used syringe out of his lip. The flesh has already started to inflame with infection.}} ZS: ...Clown... I do not know vat Balan sees in you. <putting pressure on his agonizing wound> Rest assured, out of respect to my employer, I vas holding back. Zis is not over. Not by the long shot. My congratulations on keeping me from ze caribou for half an hour, but now I am marching upstairs to finish vat zat buffoon began. {{Alerted by the earlier brawl, security converge on the dumpster.}} ZS: A brief reprieve from destiny. You must ave been born under a lucky star. And yet, I ave seen your future, caribou... you vill not survive zis hunt. {{Sainovic yanks another syringe out of his arm, as security escort him out of the building.}} |
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| TripleV | Apr 12 2018, 09:47 PM Post #5 |
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Pres4Life
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[Enter the La Brea Tar Pits...] [Future home of SWAT: LA BREA TAR PITS!!!!] [BEST REGION EVER!] [Rising from the muck is the greatest superstar in the history of the company...] [The sludge drips away leaving only... ...DINOSAUR BONES!!!] D.Bones: Good afternoon everybody! Normally I like to talk to you about fossils, but today my subject will be about another AWESOME thing that comes out of the ground... that's right. Gold. With my recent win over Tumbleweed, I have to hope there will be a title shot in my near future. ULTIMATE. ACW HEAVYWEIGHT. INTERNATIONAL. U-10. I am not picky. I am the reincarnated remains of a giant reptile. That makes me a lot of things. Picky is not one of them. It feels like I'm waiting for another ice age to come before I get a fair shake here... ...why don't you want me challenging for titles? Is it because I'll win? Is it because... I'M A GOD DAMNED UNDEAD DINOSAUR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! BECAUSE I'M NOT SEEING A LOT OF OTHER DEAD THINGS OR REPTILES HOLDING GOLD AROUND THIS PLACE. YOU HAD YOUR TIME, NOW MY TIME HAS COME AGAIN!!!! [The Dread Lord Dinosaur Bones, your next ACW Heavyweight champion.] |
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| IndustrialMan | Apr 17 2018, 04:32 PM Post #6 |
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Champion of Industry
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{{Zoran Sainovic stumbles through an R&D Department of Luchian Inc. American offices. Waving over some subordinates to sew up his lip, Sainovic staggers into a restoration chamber. The former secret policeman turned mad scientist wrestler may yet get through his recentest title challenge without dying of some hospital born flesh eating disease. Before Sainovic can thank you lucky stars, he hears the metallic clang of robotic footsteps. He needs to redesign those feet for better efficiency.}} AB: Dr. Sainovic... while everyone here at Luchian appreciates your continued efforts to challenge Buster Friendly into becoming the best version of himself he can be... he has a rather pressing defence over in ACW, so this unit would consider it a personal favour if you resolved not to distract him from it further. ZS: It vill not happen again, sir. AB: Feel free to, it was a very impressive performance. Just not when he has Vincent in his crosshairs. {{Patting the fake scientist on the shoulder, Attila Balan turns to the camera, posing with his International Title.}} AB: Vincent. I ask you for an opponent worthy of this unit's fighting capabilities, and give it, you. While objecting to the inter gender defence against Roxy that goes against the governing bodies' rules, Roxy is twice the man you are. So I will bring this title to the next show, but put a little more effort into it. You may insult me, but the International title is above reproach. {{Having said his peace, The Industrial Man turns away from this backyard promo.}} |
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| TripleV | Apr 18 2018, 09:16 AM Post #7 |
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Pres4Life
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[Pineapple.] [Banana.] [Pear.] [Coconut.] [Coconut.] [Banana.] [Coconut.] [Strawberry.] [Honey Melon.] [Master Higgins drags himself down a busy street, pushing forwards like a man possessed. The Luau Mafia has vowed revenge against SWAT B for sullying their tropical paradise. Higgins will make the next SWAT show even if it kills him. It might kill him... for you see Master Higgins has a delicate metabolism that requires him to eat fruit every six feet or fall off the screen in death. It’s a good thing his fans have scattered fruit all across the States so that the Luau manager can travel. Collapsing in a sweaty heap, Higgins starts to feats on a watermelon.] [Cherries.] [Cherries.] [Cherries!] [Jackpot. Forcing down the fruit, Master Higgins reminds himself that there are no continues where he’s going. The hell that is Backyard.] Edited by TripleV, Apr 18 2018, 09:17 AM.
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| TripleV | Apr 21 2018, 02:13 AM Post #8 |
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Pres4Life
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[SWAT Backyard Headquarters... located from inside of Stefan Slain's mom's neither region... or some similar desolate, scary place. VVV is in the middle of stalking his grandson on Facebook, so it looks like he was actively interested in his life for the last decade.] "VILE!" [Enter an excitable Lucerio Villaini, BS2's primary road agent and sub booker...] Lucerio Villaini: They finally broadcast the complete ACW show... Vile "Vince" Viper: Really? But the Anzac holiday doesssn't start for five more days. I figured they'd drag it out that extra week. Christmas in July. What prossssssssssssssssss. Lucerio Villaini: They are about to announce the big inter promotional line-up... Vile "Vince" Viper: Oh they're letting the broads on? It'll be nice to have some distractions throughout the longesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst night... Lucerio Villaini: We should submit a match as well... Vile "Vince" Viper: Pleassse... between Sssouthern Ssstatesss, Atlantic Coassst, Midwessst, and Xtreme Wessst... we're the only region not going on hiatusss. Fuck SSSSSSSSWAT. Why should we make their show look professional? Lucerio Villaini: It might help OPERATION SKULLFUCK SWAT... [The king of snakes cringes. He really wants that scheme to be a roaring success... but he's already beaten them. Even though Viper has basically been sold on stealing their show, Villaini continues the spiel...] Lucerio Villaini: Plus I think it would be good for morale if you convinced the boys they had a shot at being seen by a larger aud---- Vile "Vince" Viper: For the next month my focus is on winning the tag tournament... I don't really need the distractions, but if you want to send some of the scum to either steal or tank the show, be my guest. Just so long as I don't have to hear about it. And we get a 90% cut of their pursssesss. Lucerio Villaini: Thanks Vile! The kids will be thrilled. [Vile turns back to his cat fishing his partner slash only family... its not easy being this saintly.] |
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| IndustrialMan | Apr 23 2018, 05:51 PM Post #9 |
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Champion of Industry
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ZS: If ve put a second coolant system in his right heel, ve can increase weight behind ze swandive headbutts by 60 pounds. Zis should make it effective enough to operate as a finisher. I vill need Steiner to implement zis, as I am expecting to appearing on ze card in an active wrestling capacity. R&D Scientist #6: Uh... actually sir... R&D Scientist #9: They chose Bill Stokes to tag with Dinosaur Bones instead of you... {{Inside a hidden bunker, Zoran Sainovic is working with Luchian Inc.'s R&D department when the news hits - there is a SWAT Backyard SHOWCASE match at the Anzac Cup, and he was not selected to be one of the participants. Bill stokes. Sainovic removes his glasses, struggling with the rage.}} ZS: ...Everyone who did not know about zis leave ze room. {{As 90% of the R&D department run out of the room, the Downfall meme kicks into full effect.}} |
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