Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
eWmania Top 100 eFeds

CHAMPIONS

2018 Anzac Cup Winners : BETTER THAN SEX /with Vile vince Viper & Spike Nelson

S.W.A.T. International Champion: "Industrial Man" Attila Balan

S.W.A.T. World Tag Team Champions : "Bro Code" Calum Morgan & Paul Blair

Atlantic Coast Heavyweight Champion: Beelzebozo

Amazons Champion: Jade

Amazons Pan Amazon Champion: Wildcat Lynn Brewster

2017 "of the Years"

Wrestler: Pyschotic Goth

Fued: Daniel Collins vs "Timeless" Alex Turner

Most Popular: The Industrial Man

Most Hated: Vile "vince" Viper

Amazon: Suzi Spits

Match: Beelzebozo Vs Industrial Man (Helloween Cup Final)
Welcome to S.W.A.T.. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. We offer several features, including both E Wrestling and Non E Wrestling forums.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
"Part Unknown": The greatest book of wrestling poetry
Topic Started: Oct 27 2009, 08:36 PM (315 Views)
I ~ Christian
Member Avatar


I am so buying this...

http://www.amazon.ca/Parts-Westling-Gimmicks-Other-Works/dp/1894663594

Click the link, I've read some parts of it, it is nothing short of amazing. It's basically poetry inspired by pro-wrestling: each poem dedicated to a wrestler or something wrestling inspired. You have poems such as The Godlike Genius of Scotty Too Hotty and Lita and the Swanton. I'm actually going to share with you one of the poems.

Quote:
 

You can't see me

Word Life
The Cena Kid seems untouchable
like Eliot Ness, prototypical, unseen and unstressed
another Lock Ness monster, monstrous
invisible and old school

like Eminem on a real bad day
or an LA cop alone with NWA
doing what he likes to somebody he hates
A ghost like Casper, but two times as white and twice as great
you be Mr. friendly, he be Mr. Intimidate

cutting promos, administering beatdowns
talking smack while laying the smack down
wearing chains and locks and Lugz
beating Thugz with brains, brass knucks, and bear hugs
phatter than Mabel, another man on a mission

now everyone's assuming the gorilla position
like Lanny to Randy to Brando to Hopper
to see the poet warrior, the ultimate showstopper
making bones with oldtimers, no longer head-liners
as forgettable as-
Word Life


Buy yours before they're sold out.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ Christian
Member Avatar


Bumping this because this is just page 1 amazing shit right there. Maybe I'll post more poems in the future.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ Christian
Member Avatar


Quote:
 
The Goldberg Variations

Only the names change, the victims
blurring underneath the jackhammer
thump of canned heat and powerbomb, limbs
twitching with the weight of Bill's dark whims
his sanften und etwas muntern

character interpreted in G
minor for tragic effect: Gold-berg
Gold-berg
Some works should not vary
(no one believed the house would weary)
but the endless refrain perturbed

even him-finally. He cursed his family's
history then, a job demands you repeat
yourself, ruthlessly. Look alive, boys,
you're next.
Nitro after Nitro, D-
line hijinks with his Dawgs, it all recedes

into his own private Dresden, a hymn
for harpsichord and the mortal soul of a poor
relation- the match mit 173 Veranderungen
dying with a pinfall and Scott Hall's tazer
the Count out, finished by his own sleeper
Edited by Christian, Oct 28 2009, 05:47 PM.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ Christian
Member Avatar


I don't know how many of these I will post... Enjoy them while you got 'em.

Quote:
 

The Wrath of Kane

He arrives like Apollo,
a big red machine
with a mouthful of Novocaine
and self self-image issues.
After the pyro

clears, what else needs to be said?
Yada yada, childhood trauma
Blah blah blah, fraticidal urges.
Take a look at his kisser,
the marshmallow-creepy mouthpiece

and stinky leather headgear-
part fallguy Hodder,
party clingy kid brother-
damn right, he's pissed
But this new bad hair day

angle? Now he's mixing Uncle Fester
with a runny pink eye chaser, feeling
punch. Set up. And no, it doesn't sit well.
That's why the indignation-thing chafes:
a monster's first word are always Go to Hell
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Packer
Member Avatar


it takes up to 2 months to ship it?? wtf..they must hand deliver em..lol!!!
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ hopper
Member Avatar


Its's because they laugh at you for buying it...

They show up throw it in your lap and say

"There's your stupid wrestling haikus dumbass!"


Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ Christian
Member Avatar


Once again Chris Hopper shows us all how wrong and stupid he is, not to mention illiterate and a cruel heartless soul that has been forsaken by TRUE poetry. You're going to read the following work and NOT call it a masterpiece?

Quote:
 

The Walls of Jericho

Dungeons, dragons, death metal, and a city of sin
tempered the volatile desires of the sexy beast
the Ayatollah of Rock'n'Rolla, King of Bling-
Bling- a little bit Broadway, a little bit Portage
and Main- Fozzy, Lionheart, Corazon de Leon

Nothing beats an education- the Hart school's
basement and the Red River journalism program
will do- into you separates everyday jackasses from
serious assclown, like the cold. No one fools
or suffers themselves after being stretched by grim

extremes like the Chicago Manual of Style and Stu
Mexico City, Tokyo, Atlanta, Stamford: Y2J
leaves them like New York, like Winnipeg, too
vulnerable to embrace him. Every seventh day
his faith tries disobedience, another Monday

Night Jericho courtesy of the Human Highlight
Reel, another wave of aftershocks and liquefaction
for non-believer, fence-sitter, and Jericholic alike:
defense mechanisms, like walls, fall, crash down
upon his judgement; in their ruin, still, he's won


WORTH EVERY PENNY, DIRTY PHILISTINE!!!
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ hopper
Member Avatar


I love how you immediately call me stupid, yet know essentially nothing about me except what you build up in your own mind.

I am far from stupid. I have multiple college degrees to testify to that.

You want masterpieces? Stick to Shakespeare, Voltaire and even the darkness that comes from Dante's Inferno....

This is crap by comparison and not my cup of tea both as a literate human being and as a wrestling fan.

And where do you see me as a cruel, heartless soul? I've never done anything to you in a manner that would show such words to be true. IN fact, I have defended you in SPW when you were treated wrongly IMHO.....I have actually talked different people down from attacking your wiki sites (admittedly one guy keeps doing it, but somehow he says you have it switched back within a minute....so kudos for having constant watch over your fantasy life) and trashing you on forums.....I even turned down an offer from someone to find where you live behind that fake name and etc and for them to beat you down because of your attitude and actions toward me and others.

Yet I'm heartless and cruel?

The only two things that can be said of me in regards to you are as follows...

1) I think your characters are utter, comic-book, unrealistic garbage.

and

2) I have a life when you don't.


I realize you probably reacted thinking what I said in my last post was about you personally....but it was what I felt the publishers would say to ANYBODY who bought this drivel.

But you have a "kick me complex" about you that makes me laugh. I can guarantee you this is the last time I will address you here because I like Packer, Eric and the boys here here at SWAT. Trust me, I had never intended on even addressing you personally....you can ask Packer personally because I told him I didn't even want to be associated with you at all. So stop thinking everything is an attack on you and just live your life.

You have nothing to fear from me as long as you keep your mouth shut and don't say anything about me again.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ Christian
Member Avatar


1) You have no soul. Not appreciating the beauty of thse works of poetry marks this as an established fact. Yeah sure, go pimp up your classics they thought you to like in school, us true intellectuals have actual contemporary tastes.

2) You're the fucking asshole that keeps messing around with my wikia page. Don't deny it. "Trying to talk down different people..." my foot! Also, damning IP addresses is damning: enjoy your ban, fag.

3) For the sake of everyone else reading this thread expecting contemporary marvels of wrestling-based litterature and reading Hopper's drivel instead: him "defending" me in SPW = him backhandedly insulting my characters and my works. Good luck with this master troll, Herrera!

In closing, you'll never write anything of value if you can't appreciate the beauty of modern works. Then again, this is a guy who's basic MO is following me through different e-feds, then trolling my RPs so he can get a spot in himself. Nice job failing the ICWF, fuckwit.

Last one, because I got this pretty much entirely spoiled for me and I would want those who've made the pruchase to at least have some form of surprise upon receiving their poetry.

Quote:
 

The Godlike Genius of Scotty Too Hotty

Jacques Brel and Scott Walker on his Discman
a bottle of Cuervo Gold, a pillar
of salt, this lime tree bower, my prison:
a secret history of tricyclics and laudanum pass
through his head of McDonald's fries and lunatic grin

Stasis and dark odes, fear and doubt and loss,
when the music stopped no one could blame him
for being a step behind Sexay
but even the earnest pre-teen, heart-throbbing
her way through Smackdown

with Justin and Britney and Christina and A.J..
caught something sepulchral when he could no longer follow
Rikishi's mad samoan cakewalk. An assclown
without his Volkswagen is a sad assclown,
goes the wit and wisdom of Y2J,

and Scotty Too Hotty is too much alone.
The Ramada walls close in when you can't party
with the Hardy's, when the house show crowd cuts you to the bone.
No one knows how sick he can be,
absorbing their pain, doing the worm
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ hopper
Member Avatar


Christian
Oct 30 2009, 08:29 PM

2) You're the fucking asshole that keeps messing around with my wikia page. Don't deny it. "Trying to talk down different people..." my foot! Also, damning IP addresses is damning: enjoy your ban, fag.


Sorry.....not me. I realize that disappoints you and shakes you to the core....but I have actually told this person to stop messing with your page because all it does is fristrate him when those changes aren't visible a minute later....so I tell him it isn't worthwhile to try because you have nohting better to do than to get some form of auto notice when someone posts (which I assume is normal...I'm not a member of wiki at all so I don't know)

Feel free to check the IP addresses again because it is not me.....in fact......send that IP address to Packer and let HIM compare and tell you if mine is a match....because they won't.

But I do know who it is and it is someone that you swore was an ally at one time. Next time you start something.....start thinking about WWBD.....What Would Brandon Do?


Of course, it is just like you to assume something is fact.

You are an idiot with zero credibility....and even less understanding of life and what a "soul" truly is.....and I will guarantee you it has nothing to do with poetry.....especially bad poetry.

You are really sad and I truly pity you.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ Christian
Member Avatar


hopper
Oct 30 2009, 10:11 PM
> Utter lies

... I realize that disappoints you and shakes you to the core....
:roll eyes:

But seriously, you're a mountain of bullshit and dishonesty. You sling mud around like its your God-given purpose in life. You can't vandalize my account anyways since you got banned, and I doubt you'll last two months before you get banned here as well.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ hopper
Member Avatar


hey moron....

I have never "vandalized" anything of yours.

You can ban whatever you like, but it wasn't me.

You can keep calling me a liar, but truth is still truth.....which you care nothing about if it doesn't fit into what proves the point you hope to make.


Offline Profile Goto Top
 
I ~ hopper
Member Avatar


mountain of dishonesty?

I haven't lied one iota.....not once. I might be too open for most people's OOC standards, but I never lie.




Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Packer
Member Avatar


ok guys. this is where the road ends. christian, you started this when you went after hopper. he gave his OPINION about the subject matter and you took the first verbal shot at him. it ends now. no more. its 1 thing to have a debate between people, but its another to outright attack somebody verbally and thats whats happened here. christian, youve been here long enough to know we dont play the drama game here and if it starts, it gets handled.dont make ME handle it. its done as of now. hopper has every right to defend himself, and thats what hes done. .the argument is over. ya'll dont hafta get along but ya also aint gonna openly fight. case closed.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
Learn More · Register Now
« Previous Topic · Off Topic · Next Topic »
Locked Topic

eWmania Top 100 eFeds