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2nd Hardkore World Title Reign
Topic Started: Jul 3 2010, 11:35 PM (172 Views)
I ~ 1800YOULOSE
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The Hillbilly Assassin’s Blog: One of us, one of us, gooble, gobble, gooble, gobble! or They eat the pooh-pooh.

The waves of change come swift as a tsunami, and by god, if there isn’t a hillbilly at the top of the heap; leading the way forward. All is right in the world, right? Wrong. We still have Kilroy out there controlling the minds of his million minion army. We still have Sarah Palin, who is, well Sarah Palin. We have Randy Candy and his one hundred and five pounds of Dutch sexual harassment lawsuits waiting to happen, and then we have Nextwave, led by Adrian Tanner, the face of all that is evil in the homosexual porn community. I mean, hell, they eat the pooh-pooh. Now don’t get the ole hillbilly wrong, if you want to plunge the exit hole with your poker buddies, cool. I could care less, but it’s not that simple with you Nextwave guys, is it? You like to use robots to lure in the nerdy young male crowd into your pooh-pooh eating fold. You like to use comics to score fresh virgin anuses. Sure, you say it’s harmless. Sure you say it is love between a man, a man, a man, a man, a donkey, and a just turned legal young male, but I say to you, hogwash. I ain’t going to stand back and watch you Nextwave perverts lure our rookies into thinking that being in your group, with your outrageous production costs, and your mind corrupting videos of seemingly innocent shenanigans which really aren’t so innocent with all the blatant innuendo, will bring them success. It ain’t like we don’t have a Jergens Lotion problem stopping up the locker room drains each month the way it already is.

The proof as always is in the pudding. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Tanner has corrupting the young and impressionable for sometime now. It’s a damn travesty.

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Look familiar? Tanner is a mad man whose followers will do just about any lewd and lascivious that his sick mind can come up with. An orgy with a donkey, egg-beater, and Randy Candy? No problem. These sick and demented followers of this deviant will slurp the knob of any being, donkey or Dutch.

Which has me thinking, who does this sick Capri wearing, Hipster screwing, a buck seventy-five twat get three World Title matches in the past six months or so? It isn’t because he is rocking the world with his with his amazing abilities, and by abilities I do not mean anal double penetration while giving Rottweiler fellatio.

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Poor rottie.

Is Tanner blackmailing someone at Hardkore Central? Did he catch Jonnie Valentine in a precarious situation as he mistakenly pooched one of Tanners he-whore Trannies instead of his usual five dollar crack whore? That could’ve explained the two previous failed World Title shots, but this third one is mind baffling, well, that is until you take a look in the way back machine and realize that Tanner, and the new Administration were once partners. This was the actual beginning of Tanner’s perversions, or so says remlik732 over at the new official Marty Donavan fan site, www.Martyisnotafag.org/forums/ . Which if that’s the case, I am surely going into this match as the perpetual underdog.

What will be the cause of my demise? Will it be Administrative Interference in order to keep the grotesque photos of Tanner’s assault on Syberus after he was slipped some roofies?

Or will it be Tanner’s followers and their blind obedience to a man they all call father?

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The similarities are eerie isn’t it?

Or will the Gay Cult leader reach out and make a deal with the devil himself, Kilroy Evans? Kilroy’s right hand man was lent out once before to Tanner in one of his Tag Team escapades that while on the surface appeared innocent, and full of sophomoric shenanigans, I assure you that the shenanigans were anything but sophomoric, and the activities ended any sort of innocence that Andrew may have had prior to that point. One could say winner the Frank with Tanner was the downfall of the real Andy Karnage as he has not been the same since. See: Anal Rape with egg-beaters and Brainwashing by the Super Adventures Club for further details on this particular anecdote.

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The ole Hillbilly ain’t going to back down to the overwhelming odds set forth by this sick and morally diluted individual and his group of bow legged followers. The Hillbilly has beaten the odds before, and he’ll be damned if he allows some robot loving fruit cake and his troupe of fairy hipsters getting in his way.

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And speaking of not letting hipsters not get in your way, don’t forget to visit Hillbilly Hot-dogs on Route 2 in Lesage, West Virginia or their new stand on old Ohio Route 7 in Chesapeake Ohio, and don’t forget to tell them Fierce sent you, and that you want the Home Wrecker, because you ain’t no fruity hipster that isn’t in Tanner’s anal raping cult, and you never will be, because you are a real man that likes the poontang.

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So come on Tanner, bring on your army. Bring on you diluted version of reality that only ends with shattered anuses and broken men with not enough tissues, just to build your sense of fruity manhood. Bring on the high production promos that have nothing but perverted innuendos and inside jokes that no one gets and no one really cares about because they are full of inside jokes and perverted innuendos that involve giant robots. Bring on you school girl charm that you have used to persuade many confused individuals. Bring on the onslaught of making me fucking confused, because truth be told, I rarely have a clue what your talking about. And lastly, bring a god danged sandwich, because son, I’ll tell you what, if you think your going to win by knocking me out with you anorexic hipbone, you got another thing come so, and that’s a 285 pound Picture Perfect Elbow , that not you nor your anally rampaged Nextwave can do anything about.

But then again…

What do I know?

I’m Just Fierce.
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I ~ 1800YOULOSE
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The Hillbilly Assassin’s Blog Live in Technicolor: Bad analogies or Bigotry at its Finest

The scene opens up to inside the Hillbillies double wide trailer, somewhere in his beloved Wayne, County.

Fierce: You know Tanner, you just made a mistake. You broke holiest and most sacred of hillbilly rules. You attacked the trailer park, and let me tell you what, the trailer park folks aren’t ones to verbally attack, because as the saying goes, you mess with me, you mess with the entire trailer park, and fruit cake, let me tell you, this ain’t an itsy bitsy trailer park neither.

And much too your chagrin, these people aren’t the cousin marrying hicks that you portrayed them to be. After all, this ain’t fucking Kentucky, we have chins here, and you can actually look at both our eyes at the same time, and we don’t have mullets, unlike one Utahan playmate you used to have around. No Tanner, we maybe a simple folk here in the trailer park, but we’re also a vengeful folk that don’t take too kindly to outsiders, whom happen to like to do lewd and lascivious acts on our pets and young’uns, coming in here and pointing out our faults.

Just look at Jamie Oliver. He tried this same shit, and no one has seen him sense, but in the meantime my Aunt Darlene has came up with a delicious new chili recipe.

Fierce strokes his long and glorious beard as he thinks back to the oh so delicious chili.

The folks here at the Trailer Park aren’t too keen on your type Tanner. They hate bad analogies that don’t include their favorite biblical character or their favorite son in a favorable light, and by comparing me to Robert Hunglestein is just about as bad of an analogy you could’ve came up with. Robert and I do have a few things in common, being that we’ve both held the Hardkore World Championship more than you. We have also been involved in more 5 star classic battles than you, and neither one of us has been involved in a man on man on iguana on man on Randy Candy on Cobryn orgy.

But you poor descriptors and comparisons of yours truly had me thinking, how exactly would I compare Tanner to others in history? After all I am a [fingers in the air] a conspiracy theorist.

Tanner and Hilter- Both led their people into a blind frenzy. Both liked snazzy uniforms that outlined their figures.

Tanner and RuPaul- Both have been known to dress up “pretty” and go out on the town.

Tanner and Randy Candy- Both have the English language mastered and both like the anuses of small Dutch animals.

Tanner and Paul Reubens- both have strangely been arrested in Sarasota, Florida for masturbating publicly in an adult theater.

Tanner and Sylvester Stallion- Both men are in Mr. Candy’s video collection of hot and sweaty soft-core porn.

Tanner and Cobryn- While Tanner has nowhere the success as Cobryn, both can be described as cheap rip-offs of Rated X, who is nothing more than a cheap rip-off of Shootfighter, with just a tad bit more venom.

Tanner and Flavor Flav- Both were apart of successful groups, both the least talented of said groups.

Tanner and Dave Matthews- Both men think they’re deep in some sort of spiritual way, but both are just douches.

Tanner and Randy Candy- Did I mention that both do horrible, horrible, horrible things to the anal regions of their co-horts.

Tanner and Jeff Mesker a kid I went to Junior High with- both are big fans of the Back Street boys and both have been known to be “groupies”.

Fierce take a moment to take a bit of his oh so delicious Home Wrecker.

Fierce: Hmmm, home wrecker.

Another bit, whips the kraut off his beard…. For the most part.

Fierce: You see Tanner, the ole Hillbilly knows your type. The Hillbilly knows that you will use falsehoods and lies to get your agenda of queerness and perversion across to the masses that happen to enjoy the ole Hillbilly in the ring. You’re going to use this chance, unearned I might add, to get your message out through silly robot skits; all the while you’re rotting the moral compass of the many with said Robot skits with your hidden queer agenda being disguised throughout the skits.

But be advised Tanner, the Hillbilly Nation is now on notice. They won’t sit back and let you wear your fruity Capri pants in front of their young’uns.

They won’t allow you to show two to four Robots engaging in mindless fighting, AKA, sex robot orgies.

They will not allow you and your Nextwave buddies try to entertain them with horrible jokes that are ridden with homo sexual innuendos.

And come Jonniepalooza I will make sure that your perversions will not have to be seen by the nation, as we will be installing a special V chip like device that will cause your likeness to be blacked out from the screen, which in tell will be my crowning achievement in Hardkore World, as I will have defeated the gross Jergens boy, without having the youths be subjected to actually viewing said Jergens boy, but rather my retention of the greatest Championship in Wrestling today, The Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship.

But then again, what do I know?

I am nothing more than a trailer trash hillbilly that has a mental defect.

I am after all….

Just Fierce.

Scene ends
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