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| jokes; im board and need a giggle | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 20 2010, 10:44 AM (427 Views) | |
| icu | Sep 20 2010, 10:44 AM Post #1 |
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One Of Us
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here is one to start you all off the seven dawrfs when to see the pope and dopey asked him "sir are there nuns in the north pole " the pope said "yes there are " the other six giggled and said "go on dopey ask him ask him " dopey said "sir are there black nuns in the north pole and pope replyed "yes there are " the other six laughed again and dopey finaly said "sir are there black migit nuns in the north pole and the pope said "no" the others all burst out laughing chanting dopey shaged a pengin , dopey shaged a pengin |
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| Spm | Sep 20 2010, 07:21 PM Post #2 |
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I am the worst
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Lawl. There's a difference between a black guy and a nig- ... What so Chris Rock can say it but I can't? Man, that's racist...! Lol, Jonlajoie Two Mexicans walk in to a bar and the bartender says "what will you fine men be having?" and the Mexicans buy a drink, pay their tab and leave, courteously. Just kidding, they case the place and then the police come and shoot them. Flilthy. Fucking. Mexicans. Man, I get sidetracked easily... |
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Pinkie Pie is best pony | |
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| SilverBlade | Sep 20 2010, 11:42 PM Post #3 |
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Root Admin
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An Irishman went to the doctor and was asked to give a urine sample. The Irishman asked, "What's a urine sample?" The doctor replied, "Go piss in a bottle." The Irishman retorted, "Go shit in yer hat." And the fight was on. |
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My edit color is blue. Super Smash Bros. Brawl friend code: 1161-1132-1828 Medal of Honor Heroes 2 persona: Silver784 | |
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| icu | Sep 21 2010, 10:01 AM Post #4 |
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One Of Us
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female dislexic sucide bomber was found dead it was presummed that she mixed up her tambex with her anthrex and blew the cunt of her self |
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| Spm | Sep 21 2010, 04:00 PM Post #5 |
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I am the worst
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Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot. The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot. The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?" The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to screw the cat." |
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Pinkie Pie is best pony | |
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| SilverBlade | Sep 22 2010, 03:02 AM Post #6 |
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Root Admin
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Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." - My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog." |
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My edit color is blue. Super Smash Bros. Brawl friend code: 1161-1132-1828 Medal of Honor Heroes 2 persona: Silver784 | |
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| icu | Sep 22 2010, 04:06 PM Post #7 |
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One Of Us
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i am not one for racism and i belive that we all fit in to chocolate category all the whites are the white chocolate blacks are the dark chocolate Asian people well that fit into the dairy milk category and the people that used all that fake tan crap all over there faces well they are the terry chocolate oranges of the world
Edited by icu, Sep 22 2010, 04:07 PM.
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| SilverBlade | Sep 23 2010, 07:38 PM Post #8 |
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Root Admin
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A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their eight children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!" The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus, so shut the fuck up!!" |
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My edit color is blue. Super Smash Bros. Brawl friend code: 1161-1132-1828 Medal of Honor Heroes 2 persona: Silver784 | |
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| Spm | Sep 23 2010, 08:10 PM Post #9 |
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I am the worst
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An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back forty, had it fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond, I only came to feed my alligators." Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill every time! |
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Pinkie Pie is best pony | |
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| Splat | Sep 23 2010, 09:27 PM Post #10 |
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Hogwarts through and through.
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Why do Welsh sheep farmers like to screw sheep on the edge of cliffs? Because they push back so nicely. |
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| Spm | Sep 24 2010, 06:01 PM Post #11 |
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I am the worst
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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison." |
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Pinkie Pie is best pony | |
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| icu | Oct 5 2010, 10:03 AM Post #12 |
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One Of Us
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why did the skelton go to the party , because the has no body to go with lol Edited by icu, Oct 5 2010, 12:32 PM.
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| Spm | Oct 6 2010, 09:22 PM Post #13 |
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I am the worst
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Time for some racism/sectarianism: Spoiler: click to toggle
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Pinkie Pie is best pony | |
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| icu | Nov 18 2010, 03:56 PM Post #14 |
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One Of Us
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knives are for people who cant fork properly lol |
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| SilverBlade | Nov 19 2010, 01:46 AM Post #15 |
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Root Admin
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Spammaster's heterosexual! |
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My edit color is blue. Super Smash Bros. Brawl friend code: 1161-1132-1828 Medal of Honor Heroes 2 persona: Silver784 | |
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1:22 AM Jul 11