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| Y girlz are so hard 2 figure out; dedicated to wingzero :P | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 27 2006, 12:34 AM (330 Views) | |
| X3rb3rus | Sep 27 2006, 12:34 AM Post #1 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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We havent had a good joke here for a while so i thought i'd share this with yall. This is sort of a diary entry style thing made by a dude. Theres lots of sarcasm in it so those that arent too good with their english may not understand all of this but trust me its totally worth it and funny cos a lot of it is true ![]() I hav a gf, hang round girls and hav 2 sisters so this almost killed me Here it is Enjoy I swear that if I wasn't sexually attracted to girls that I'd be gay. At least guys make sense most the time. First off, girls just talk way too much. When you're with your other girlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the fuck you want. I don't care. But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sisters co-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-worker and I certainly don't know her dog. So why the fuck are you telling me this story? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoy engaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to me about some of the inane frivolous shit that you talk to your girlfriends about, first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm just going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm not listening to your retarded shit! Stop over complicating everything. There isn't an ulterior motive or hidden meaning in every other sentance. Unless, I suppose, it's coming out of the mouth of another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actually mean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expect us guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren't like that. Rarely rarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. We say what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simple concept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaning that isn't there, you're just committing to an act of futility. In the end you wind up making up some bullshit and believing that it must be true and acting on that false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason other than the fact that you're in-fucking-sane. Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That's what guys do. You present us with a problem, we're going to try and fix it. It's in our fucking nature. I know it's in your nature to want to talk about everything, but if you're going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he's going to try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch that guys don't listen. It's not that we don't listen, we just don't understand why you're bringing up your problems if you don't want us to do something about it. We're not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them. Likewise, if guys have a problem, they'll probably only bring it up if they need help or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don't talk enough. It's not that guys don't talk, it's just that your empathy doesn't help solve our problems when we do talk. One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constant reassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fit into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you free shit if you were ugly. (There's an ulterior fucking motive for you. Hint: They're not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It's so frustrating having to constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It's like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue. You're not blind, you're not even color blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask what color the sky is. I tell you it's blue. I know that you know what color blue is. And even though I've told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times, you still have to ask because...I don't know...maybe it's not blue today. The sky is fucking blue goddammit! You're not fucking fat! You're not fucking ugly! You know it, I know it, everyone fucking knows it! And fuck all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things. Yeah, all men are fucking pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that has 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfair that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Well actually it isn't, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy. He's the one that puts up with all your stupid shit. And yet you some how end up with all the assholes. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that you're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trust fund. And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations on being the hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for being able to have a nice ass while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're all so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich fucktard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll be so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. Because I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I'm happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you're right, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of Eva Longoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with Orlando Bloom on Brad Pitts abs. I know you've been dying to see that one. Girls...you piss me the fuck off. You do stupid shit and manage to get away with it. You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic and common sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I'm uncontrollably attracted to you. And that's quite possibly the most frustrating thing of all. |
![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| N00DLEZ_ToF | Sep 27 2006, 10:36 AM Post #2 |
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Cunning linguist
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lmao, thats so f*ing true indeed! i already read it two times^^ |
![]() *N00DLEZ_ToF* click for me pls ![]() ![]() "I don't care who your father is! As long as I am fishing here you won't go over the water!" | |
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| Killa_Dragon | Sep 27 2006, 06:14 PM Post #3 |
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The one who is called I am!
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Truer words have yet to be spoken
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![]() 101010002101101101010..... Hook me up with some binary love ![]() ROFL MSN = blackdragon6002@hotmail.com Feel free
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| X3rb3rus | Sep 28 2006, 12:36 AM Post #4 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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U know what? i think there should be a university course on "understanding girls/women" Im sure many people would flock to it :lol: |
![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| Espilon | Sep 28 2006, 04:49 PM Post #5 |
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Call me Mo
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lol this is too tru... and the last line is hilarious loll..... did u guys c that show where some guy sent around a petition about how women should not have any rights in the US Constitution in a law skool and got two thousand women to sign it... it was on tv about two or three months back... that was juss so hilarious.... especially when they got aired it on national tv rofllll |
![]() theres always a light at the end of the tunnel... 99.5% of the time its a speeding train =P | |
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| Killa_Dragon | Sep 28 2006, 11:20 PM Post #6 |
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The one who is called I am!
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Ah yes but you see who would teach it? no one understands the female gender not even themselves
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![]() 101010002101101101010..... Hook me up with some binary love ![]() ROFL MSN = blackdragon6002@hotmail.com Feel free
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| X3rb3rus | Sep 29 2006, 11:30 PM Post #7 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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bahahahah maybe sum tranny can teach it ![]() they might be able to empathise both gender :lol: its possible a tranny wrote this very article
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![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| Rogue_Zero | Oct 9 2006, 12:41 AM Post #8 |
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The Forgotten
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omg that is so true i mean they act all mature at school and think that those whoa act different are weird but go on my space and look at those girls pics and they'll be sticking there tongue out and making the stupidest shit faces on this god damned earth and they think were weird Jess Christ they need a wake up call!! |
![]() (FORMERLY SHYGUY1684) The gate to tomorrow is not the light of Heaven, but the darkness of the depths of earth-Vincent FF7 ![]() | |
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| X3rb3rus | Oct 10 2006, 06:18 AM Post #9 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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hahahahaha yeah they sumtimes act way too mature for their age, but take em to a party, wait til they sip some alcohol and see how they really are
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![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| El--Diablo | Oct 10 2006, 04:26 PM Post #10 |
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Soldier of the Order
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This piece of writing should become some sort of law and every single woman in the world should read it ^^ One of the most annoying girls I know nearly pushed me over the edge on saturday at a party when her friend threw a bottle on the floor and got some glass in her foot, just a little bit. Anyway, this girl started getting hysterical and shouting we need to get her friend an ambulance and i was like WTF are you doing she has some glass in her foot :S Maybe that was one of the meaningless stories it was talking about and maybe you are all sitting at home smiling and nodding but thinking about stealing a glorious 1 bio hit off TGF but I thought it needed to be said ^^ |
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| X3rb3rus | Oct 11 2006, 12:36 AM Post #11 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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yes thats where the last paragraph comes in and summarises it into a neat little package. :lol: |
![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| OskDarrek | Oct 12 2006, 09:20 AM Post #12 |
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pink is the new black!!!!
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my english isn't good enough and it's waaaaaaaaay tooooooooooo long i wread the first 2 blocks :whisper: i think i got some concentrationproblems
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![]() ![]() Military Stats Strike Action: 43,762,299 Defensive Action ??? Spy Rating 135,176,192 Sentry Rating 623,407,104 :lmao:, my spy is only 49mil
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| zakske | Oct 12 2006, 01:41 PM Post #13 |
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Regimentally excellent
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lol I didn't read it either, like you say tijs tooooooo looooong |
![]() (former ToF) I quit koc
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| X3rb3rus | Oct 13 2006, 03:20 AM Post #14 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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ok heres a summary girls do really stupid, hypocritical, wierd, annoying and crazy stuff. But guyz will always be attracted to them regardless of those facts ![]() |
![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| OskDarrek | Oct 13 2006, 03:54 PM Post #15 |
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pink is the new black!!!!
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and u need about 40k words to say that?!? u guys are nutz |
![]() ![]() Military Stats Strike Action: 43,762,299 Defensive Action ??? Spy Rating 135,176,192 Sentry Rating 623,407,104 :lmao:, my spy is only 49mil
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| X3rb3rus | Oct 14 2006, 12:43 AM Post #16 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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hahahaah well it consists of various examples that many of us can relate to and say to ourselves "omg that is so true" or "yeah my gf does that all the time" or "damn my chic friends are exactly like dat" |
![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| cereal_killers | Oct 23 2006, 12:54 PM Post #17 |
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Regimentally excellent
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i will never understand any girl....they all about the same
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![]() ![]() HELP ME TO GET SOME BIATCH | |
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| X3rb3rus | Oct 23 2006, 06:17 PM Post #18 |
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I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BOB.-Mav
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the trick is to not try and understand them and do what u normally do even if it results in a slap in the face
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![]() ![]() Age 4 rank: 80,000+ Age 5 rank: 669 gotta luv the 69 Age 6 rank: 280 Age 7 rank: haxored | |
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| OskDarrek | Oct 25 2006, 01:59 PM Post #19 |
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pink is the new black!!!!
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well my GF kicked almost my nutz out i didn't saw her turned around and hit her so she kicked right between my legs ![]() it hurted ...
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![]() ![]() Military Stats Strike Action: 43,762,299 Defensive Action ??? Spy Rating 135,176,192 Sentry Rating 623,407,104 :lmao:, my spy is only 49mil
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| mewin | Nov 29 2006, 03:03 PM Post #20 |
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HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA Well, what you discripe here is just what i wanted to make clear with the poll wich woman would you marry. About 'am i looking to fat?' and that kind of stuff... I have to say some things are true But a lot of those things need to be placed by girls with half a brain Not every girl has all of this..
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3:49 AM Jul 11
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edge created by tiptopolive of ifsz




















I quit koc 




3:49 AM Jul 11