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Shadow Phoenix
Topic Started: May 6 2011, 09:48 PM (168 Views)
sickle
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B Show Wrestler
[ *  *  * ]
in order to show how humble I am I am asking for any advice on this roleplay. I am more concerned with the cd than the shoot as I am trying to write a book and am in talks with a publisher.

Please and thank you

Shadow Phoenix rp

May Yahweh bless you and keep you. May Yahweh let his face shine on you and be gracious to you, May Yahweh uncover his face to you and bring you peace."
 
Phoenix
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Developmental Wrestler
[ *  * ]
I'm gonna guess that "an excellent read if it wasn't supposed to somehow be a wrestling promo" is just gonna piss you off.

I'm not looking to start a war or anything, this is just the simple fact of the matter.

When I read something, my mind instinctively looks for dohesion between subject and the written word. If I read sci-fi, and there's a heavy romance feel, it's bad. If I read comedy, and there's major drama, it's bad. If I read sex letters, and there's descriptions of workdays, it's bad.

It doesn't matter how well written it is, if it doesn't feel like what it's supposed to be, I'm out and moving on to something else.

Clearly, you got talent. You got creativity. You have an excellent hold on the english language, sentence structure, descriptions, and so on. You can WRITE.

Take a minute and understand this man. I'm applauding your skill. I am positively reviewing your written page. I am applauding you.

Then, as I read, I remember "this is a wrestling promo". I made it, maybe five sentences, and skimmed until I found something that had anything to do with the match, which happened like a full page later. By then I didn't care anymore and didn't finish reading.

I grew through this "business" in basically the same timeframe as you. I've evolved leaps and bounds, like I'm sure you did. I look at some of my oldest saved promos, which start nearly 2 years into my run, and cringe. Occasionally laugh, but cringe, at what I remember I thought was good writing.

Two things, throughout nearly every fed I stayed in, remained the same.

Promos need to entertain the reader.

Promos need to be about your match.

Now I get it. UCW's different. And clearly, you're either a writer or trying to be one. So I'm the one on a curve here. That's cool.

But I daresay that you'll be hardpressed to find more than a small handful of people in the feds I've run with (and yes I know I ran in some shitty ones, but I can always namedrop Jonnie) that will read your well thought out well written story there and judge it even a halfway decent WRESTLING PROMO.

Three things to end with.

One, you're not being "humble" when you point out you're in talks with a publisher. You're bucking for attention.

Two, if anyone cared enough to lambaste my offerings, I'm sure they just would. Just cause I don't bother posting it in the feedback area doesn't mean I wouldn't listen to real honest crticism.

Three, I really won't be bothering to look for a reply, so try not to tirade too hard.
While the wicked stand confounded
Call me with thy saints surrounded


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Career Record: 73 - 16
UCW Record: 8 - 2

UCW Southern Justice Champion (1)(Current)
UCW Heavyweight Champion (1)(Retired Belt, Longest Reign)
UCW Intercontinental Champion (1)(Only, Retired Belt)
uCw United Kingdom Champion (1)(Last, Retired Belt)

About Phoenix:
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sickle
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B Show Wrestler
[ *  *  * ]
since you insists on trashing my roleplay style saying it has nothing to do with wrestling despite the fact that what I posted on the UCW board was the shoot with a link to the entire roleplay I will let Eric and others tell you my qualifications so you dont think I am blowing my own horn.

 
Nash
Member Avatar
El Messiah
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Which is what I encourage here. WRITERS. No one has to be intimidated to promo a certain way. If a CD is all they feel inspired for then type that. If a shoot is all they feel inspired for write that. At the end of the day, it's overall promo versus overall promo. I've seen firsthand a short promo beat a long one. (Jarrod Weiss versus Shane Warner) At the end of the day, it's still shoot versus shoot. If the shoot hands down is better than the other dudes, then that promo will get it's proper due. The CD comes in when it's a nail biter. If people still bitch over losing to a CD, well guess what? That means that person doesn't have enough confidence in their own abilities to stick around for a rematch. Not a dig at you. Others have done it as well. At the end of the day, I judge both promos equally. When they register, they are putting their trust in me and I reward it with non squashes. With as amazing matches as I possibly can. Take it as you want but I won't give preferential treatment. At the end of the day it's a WRITING forum and diversity is the spice of life.


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Title History:

UCW Hall of Fame 2012 - Only Handler Inductee
1x UCW World Heavyweight Champion - Hector
1x UCW Southern Justice Champion - Hector - Longest Reigning
1x UCW Television Champion - Eric - Never lost it
1x UCW Tag Team Champions - Southern Blood - Never lost them, longest reigning
3x UCW Television Champion - Nikki Monroe managed by Veronica Rodriguez
1x UCW Women's Champion - Nikki Monroe managed by Veronica Rodriguez - Never lost it
1x UCW Women's Champion - Brandy Danielle trained by Eric Herrera
2x Tag Team of the Year - Southern Blood - UCW | MCW
1x UCW Feud of the Year - Frostbite versus Dave Brickheart versus Eric Herrera
2x Cruiserweight of the Year - Eric Herrera [2006 | 2007]
4x Hall of Fame - Eric Herrera [UHW | HCW | UCW | XPW]
2x Most Improved - Eric Herrera [HVW | EWA]
9x World Champion [Eric 3 | Jay 2 | Lance 2 | Hector 2]
 
Nash
Member Avatar
El Messiah
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
And Phoenix, he's not just tooting his own horn. Tyler Hollywood, Oleksa Drachewych, Orlando Cruze, Angelica Jones, Johnnie Valentine, Lethal Weapon, Dave Hurse... hell every major fed head in this game has outright said that SIckle is all that and a bag of chips. I've yet to see a bad comment about him, even when I couldn't stand him. He is a legitimate writer. I talked to him on the phone while he was taking Creative Writing degree. He is legit writing a book, he's emailed me chapters.


[Posted Image

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Title History:

UCW Hall of Fame 2012 - Only Handler Inductee
1x UCW World Heavyweight Champion - Hector
1x UCW Southern Justice Champion - Hector - Longest Reigning
1x UCW Television Champion - Eric - Never lost it
1x UCW Tag Team Champions - Southern Blood - Never lost them, longest reigning
3x UCW Television Champion - Nikki Monroe managed by Veronica Rodriguez
1x UCW Women's Champion - Nikki Monroe managed by Veronica Rodriguez - Never lost it
1x UCW Women's Champion - Brandy Danielle trained by Eric Herrera
2x Tag Team of the Year - Southern Blood - UCW | MCW
1x UCW Feud of the Year - Frostbite versus Dave Brickheart versus Eric Herrera
2x Cruiserweight of the Year - Eric Herrera [2006 | 2007]
4x Hall of Fame - Eric Herrera [UHW | HCW | UCW | XPW]
2x Most Improved - Eric Herrera [HVW | EWA]
9x World Champion [Eric 3 | Jay 2 | Lance 2 | Hector 2]
 
jimbiz
Member Avatar
B Show Wrestler
[ *  *  * ]
Take it from me Phoenix. Just like you, I'm mostly a shoot based rper and it took me a long while for me to adapt my CD section. Hell, go ask Nash or even Warner. My CD are never spectalar, but I managed to incorporate it to my promos to make it even more better and meaningful

At the end of the day, it's all about creativity and expanding your knowledge as a writer. I know I struggle alot with grammar and spelling mistakes, but I always put effort on my rp
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1xUCW Television Champion
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sickle
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B Show Wrestler
[ *  *  * ]
I loved the rp when you made the comparison with football, that was awesome
 
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