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K+ Revenge - A dish Best Served With Sprouts And S
Topic Started: Aug 3 2010, 09:30 AM (578 Views)
Sazzy
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Revenge – A Dish Best Served With Sprouts and Stuffing

“You did well today, you should be pleased with your efforts,” Grace was told as Neil ushered her into the festive front office. Cheap metallic decorations that could be bought from any pound shop in the country dangled above their heads. However, the threesome stood below displayed little sign of joviality.
“Please remind me why my afternoon has turned out like this,” cheap recognition from her senior officer wasn’t what Grace needed at that moment; permission to throttle Stuart was far more preferable. Never again would she arrive early for work to catch up on paperwork.
“You drew the short straw Grace.”
“No, DS Turner drew the short straw, his car conveniently wouldn’t start making him late! I suppose public transport would have tarnished his image. I was his replacement!” Grace corrected Neil immediately regretting her sarcastic tone as his smile jaded.
“I know it wasn’t a co-incidence and I will be discussing it later with him. But you did a good job, you both did. The Orphans and Widows Fund I am sure will be grateful for your efforts.” Neil included Arun with his praise. Arun desperately avoiding the eye line of the officer approaching the front desk seemed to ignore the ongoing conversation.
“I know guv… but just look at me.” It had been a rough day, there’s only so long one could keep a smile forced upon ones face, especially after enduring several hours of party games with hyperactive children who had been forced fed party food additives.
Neil couldn’t stop the smirk break out across his face. He’d happily look at Grace all day, it wasn’t any coincidence that her desk was the closest to his office. After Andrea he was determined to steer clear of office romance, but a look now and again, and a smell of that flowery perfume wasn’t going to hurt anyone. He took up Grace on her invitation and eyed her up one more time, her somewhat unconventional outfit made him chuckle, it didn’t go down well.
“Go and get changed the both of you…” the Detective Inspector offered in a way of an apology.
“Oh no you don’t, Heaton wants to see you both,” the uniformed officer from behind the front desk mumbled to the group. “But not yet, I’ve gotta get a pic of this!” He reached for the mobile phone in his pocket. “Don’t be grumpy Grace, its bad for your elf!” Leon roared with laughter as his camera clicked. Neil chortled too, much to Grace and Arun’s annoyance. It was only a matter of minutes before that picture would be forwarded to every mobile in the nick.

“I’m sorry, sir, I don’t think I can do it,”
“It’s not a request DC Dasari, the photographer will be here in twenty minutes. He suggested a photograph of you both with the commissioner in one of the new cells.
“I signed up to walk the beat not look like a… a… total… idiot! What are the kids on the Jasmine Allen going to think when they see us on the front page! God I’m never going to live this down.” Arun complained pulling the green felt hat from his head the bell at the end tingled for the room to hear. The hat had been the least of his worries, the whole elf costume was made for someone the size and mentality of Tony Stamp… and from the minute it went on it itched. Now Arun knew exactly why his mother had washed his uniform in non-biological powder since his joining the force.
“Think of it as an exercise in public relations. CID and Uniform sections of Sun Hill working together for charity.” Heaton told the exhausted pair.
“But sir…”
“Arun, I expect your co-operation on this matter.” Fuming that his complaints were falling on deaf ears Arun blanked out what the Superintendent had to say, how on earth was he going to live this down in the locker room? And with Grace the elf as company for goodness sake, at least they could have been partnered him up with Mel or Sally!
“I don’t want you worrying about what your mates down the pub think Arun, you’ll keep your elf respect.” Like Arun hadn’t heard enough elf jokes that afternoon…
“Cummon Arun, we might as well get it over and done with.”
“The commissioner will be expecting to see enthusiasm.” They had been warned.

What the two elves hadn’t been warned about was the chaos that was too greet them as they entered the custardy suite. Two days before Christmas and spirits of an alcoholic nature had been out in force around Canley. An inebriated Santa minus his trousers bellowed Silent Night at Sergeant Smith whilst in the corner a cage of turkeys gobbled along in unison. All in a days work at Sun Hill! Grace stood back to watch the scene unfold, compared to the madness surrounding her she actually felt pretty normal. Normal? Grace, a forty something dressed up as an elf normal? Boy, it had been a long day!
“No, Beth, you cannot take the turkeys to the rescue centre… I don’t care if they do end up as Christmas dinner, leave the cage alone and take Santa here to cell number one.”
“But sarge… there’s only six, we could save them, it’s their destiny after being rescued from that shed.”
“Don’t sarge me, now leave the turkeys and lock Santa up! And find some trousers for him those boxer shorts are hurting my eyes! Arun you can stop moping and make your-elf useful and fetch me a coffee. Ahhh Sergeant Turner very nice of you to join us and may I ask who your friend is?”
Stuart, the man who Grace could cheerfully strangle stood metres away! It was going to take all of her composure not to give him a slap. She clenched her fists, nails digging into her skin forcing her to keep her silence.
“Joe Starr, drunk in charge of a motorized sleigh… don’t ask just book him in.” Stuart turned to look at a stony faced Grace, “I see you have been arrested for crimes against fashion,” he laughed. “No, really it suits you, you look better in the flesh than you do on the picture sent to my phone. Probably best you played at dressing up, I had proper police work to do.”
No remorse for his lateness, no apology for Grace having to take his place entertaining a group of over excited youngsters. The gloves were off; he was going to pay for this, big time!
“PC Green for the final time leave those turkeys alone!” Sergeant Smith’s irate voice brought Grace back from her visions of Stuart dangling from the flag pole on the station roof.
“Don’t you think we should release the turkeys sir?” Beth’s hope of saving the birds now focused wholly on Stuart as she mindlessly played with the cage door which made the turkeys sqwark even louder, feathers began to flutter as each bird fought for space.
“No, and keep them away from me, horrible creatures.” Stuart shuddered.
“Stuart would you kindly accompany Santa here to cell number one whilst I have words with PC Green in my office about the differing role of the police and animal rights movements. I’m sure the elf in the corner can keep an eye on matey here”
“Okay, just take the birds with you…. Argh can’t stand birds, keep them well away!” The detective roughly took the arm of Santa and lead him toward the cells. Little beknown to Stuart, he and Santa were followed to the cells. Not by a revengeful Grace wielding an axe, rather by half a dozen turkeys. Beth really ought to have been far more careful when twiddling with that lock Grace thought to herself as she silently watched the turkeys step out of the cage and waddle behind her sergeant. This was going to be fun watching him round them up, finally it would be Grace’s turn to laugh. Maybe they had taken a liking to his potent aftershave, well something had too. So Stuart, followed by six turkeys, lead Silent Night singing Santa into cell number one; as he did so Arun returned with sergeant Smiths coffee. The press photographer, John Heaton, Neil Manson and the borough commissioner and joined the sulking elf somewhere on his journey and gathered around the desk. Polite greetings were exchanged between the two elves and the guests when an almighty squeal from cell number one shook the custardy suite. It didn’t need Grace’s endless list of qualifications in criminology to detect who the squeals came from… Unfortunately for the screamer in question the Canley Gazette photographer with his camera in hand reached the cell before any of the officers. He took his photograph: Stuart squealing and trouserless singing Santa stood huddled together on the bench surrounded by squawking turkeys. Okay, turkeys weren’t the smallest of birds, but who’d have thought big brave Stuart would be terrified of them? As it turned out every officer in the metropolitan police force and the whole of Canley will have thought it! Grace watched the farce, as Neil’s quiet voice whispered into her ear, “revenge – a dish best served with sprouts and stuffing.”

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blueheeler
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:burstlaughing:


Oh if only that could have been played out on the screen and not just on the page!

Hilarious and most enjoyable :D
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Sazzy
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Aww thank you Bluehealer, very glad you enjoyed. :happy dance:
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blueheeler
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Well worth another festive read :x-mas smile:
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Sazzy
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:thanku:
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