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| Topic Started: Mar 24 2013, 12:12 PM (225 Views) | |
| Deleted User | Mar 24 2013, 12:12 PM Post #1 |
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Deleted User
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John and I visited two of the three shelters on the island today to see if we would fall in love with any cat or cats. We did not fall in love. There were many beautiful/cute kitties. There were many kitties who are unlikely to be adopted because of their age or special needs. We feel because we can afford to care for older and/or special need kitties, that's what we should adopt. However, when we adopted HarryHoudini and Pandora a week after my soul cat died back in 1998, both scheduled to be euthanized, we didn't adopt either just to save them. We fell in love with both of them. So my question is.....is this normal? I miss Pandora so very much. Is that why I cannot fathom caring for another kitty? What should I do? Should we take a cat or cats that are in need even though we don't feel instant affection? Or should we wait for that special cat or cats? What have you experienced after the loss of a long time beloved pet? |
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| Darcie | Mar 24 2013, 12:23 PM Post #2 |
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Skeptic
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My personal experience is that you should not look for another cat expecting to feel the same thing that your felt for your last cat. I think our feelings are unique for each animal. You had your own reasons for picking Pandora and you will have to have a unique reason for picking another pet. I figure one has to have an emotional link of some sort, and you know it when you see the one. JMHO. Forgot to say that this has happened to me a few times, sometimes I got another that helped to fill the hole in a short time, other times it took longer. Edited by Darcie, Mar 24 2013, 12:25 PM.
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| goldengal | Mar 24 2013, 01:56 PM Post #3 |
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Mistress, House of Dogs
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Just have to say over the years from 1962 until the present we always (just me for the past 14 years) got another pet immediately ... either a cat or dog. You do not try to replace the pet you have lost, but find a new love. I suppose it is because I have so many friends who have rescued feral cats or their early abandoned off springs, I have witnessed how that love grows. Myself, I have never thoght of asking for adice ..... just knew it was right. (for me that is). Take care, Pat |
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| FuzzyO | Mar 24 2013, 02:03 PM Post #4 |
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After Boy died, and then Bebe a month later, it took me 3 months before I found a cat that clicked. I felt much as you do BJ, I went to the shelters and saw many cats who needed a home, but it just seemed that none of them were a fit. It was odd, because I had never lived without a cat. You want to do the right thing, but you are just not ready yet. Keep looking, one day soon there will be the right cat who needs to live with you and John.
Edited by FuzzyO, Mar 24 2013, 02:03 PM.
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| imjene | Mar 24 2013, 02:24 PM Post #5 |
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Gold Star Member
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Just like a child, expect to love a new pet for different reasons and do not expect a replacement for the other. |
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| Alli | Mar 24 2013, 02:44 PM Post #6 |
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Mistress, House of Cats
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When my cat Smudge died at the age of nearly 18 I never believed I could ever be attached to another kitty again. During Chemo one of the nurses announced she had a cat she was giving away, she had small dogs that were terrorizing her. I in my moment of insanity pitched in said if you can't find a home I will take her. A month later doorbell rang she dropped this very scared cat at the bottom of my stairs... The boys brought her up. She hissed snarled and to be honest I was not impressed. But I would give her a chance. I have had her nearly 4 years. I absolutely just love her. I can't imagine not having her. The love you felt for Pandora will never be the same you feel for another cat. Different cat - different love. I say go for it Take a chance..... You probably need to give a kitty a good home just as much as one needs one.. Don't compare open your heat I did and not a second that I have regrets.... Posted Image MISS LUCY!! Below Smudge who passed away.... Posted Image Edited by Alli, Mar 24 2013, 02:51 PM.
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| Trotsky | Mar 24 2013, 03:19 PM Post #7 |
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Big City Boy
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The last 6 words tell the entire story. IF I ever get another cat, highly unlikely, it will be a kitten just weaned. My last cats came with too much baggage that took years to get rid of. Edited by Trotsky, Mar 24 2013, 03:21 PM.
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| Deleted User | Mar 25 2013, 05:15 AM Post #8 |
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Deleted User
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Fuzzy, how did I miss that you were adopted by another kitty? Photo please! I think you have captured best how I feel. I think we will wait a bit longer. There were two older girls who were bonded to each other, both beautiful cats, Lily and Georgia, 9 and 10 years old. But the vet records showed Georgia lost 5 pounds last year, and to me, having lost two cats now to kidney failure, that is a major symptom. I just could not bear adopting a cat and then losing her in a year or two. Yet I hate to think that Georgia will die in a shelter and not on the lap of someone who loves her. That's my huge conflict. One thing that did make me feel better about not rushing to adopt is the condition of the two shelters we visited. Those cats are clean, and well cared for by vet techs that love them. There was absolutely zero offensive odor. And when we picked the kitties up for a cuddle, they smelled as if they had been recently bathed. DH is on the board of the organization that runs these shelters, but I have always avoided visiting them because I always want to adopt every cat and dog I see (except of course when I am looking to actually adopt), and we have taken great pride in that the organization that rates animal shelters gives ours the very highest ratings possible. So these kitties are not living under the horrible conditions that HarryHoudini and Pandora were in when we adopted them from two diferent SPCA shelters in Pennsylvania. |
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| erka | Mar 25 2013, 07:21 AM Post #9 |
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Gold Star Member
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Begette: The dogs and cats at the shelters always adopted me. It took 6 months of visits to the SPCA before "Erka" adopted me. Most dogs at the SPCA and/or pound ignored visitors or barked incessantly. But Erka came running to the cage to greet me and it was love at first sight. When I was looking for a cat, we were able to pick up and cuddle the kittens. Casper jumped out of the cage and onto my shoulder. I knew then that he as THE CAT! |
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| angora | Mar 26 2013, 02:45 AM Post #10 |
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WWS Book Club Coordinator
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After we lost Malarkey, we considered not getting ano cat so that Buttercup could be an only cat. We saw some young cats and people with cats to home were coming out of the woodwork. But, we just didnt feel it. After about 4 months we decided that if the right cat came long we'd adopt him/her. My daughter brought us 3 from her resce group one weekend and one of them won oour hearts. He is an undiciplined beast and destructive but, my do we love him. Happy Ending except for the debris that always follows our Ruckus. |
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| Deleted User | Mar 26 2013, 05:08 AM Post #11 |
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Deleted User
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LOL. We have had the same experience, Angora, with people trying to give us cats or suggesting other shelters on the mainland. But since DH is on the board of the Island shelter organization, we MUST adopt from them. I also tend to prefer the wild, undisciplined ones (HarryHoudini was one such kitty as was his and Pandora's predecessor) but I also realize that I am almost 20 years older now and cannot, physically manage a more agressive cat. Maybe that is the problem: the cats with the feline personalities I love, the rational side of my brain is avoiding. I don't want boring kitties. |
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| Darcie | Mar 26 2013, 05:18 AM Post #12 |
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Skeptic
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BJ, feel like telling you to go wash out your mouth with soap, laugh123 I have never encountered a boring kitty, they all have their own intrusive personalities that do not let you ignore them. Just my experience. Edited by Darcie, Mar 27 2013, 07:40 AM.
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| agate | Mar 27 2013, 05:17 AM Post #13 |
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Wow lots of good advice here BJ. Most seem to say follow your heart. When my Mayling, of 17 years, had to be put down I did wait a few months. I did not go to a shelter. I wanted kittens and simanese so I found some one who was breeding them. My two are now coming up 12 years. As much as I will hate to be without cats I will not have anymore. The main reason is, living on a fixed income does not allow for any big vet bills. So sad to say I will have to forego the pleasure of cats in my life. Best of luck on your search 1089 |
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