23 Senior Truths

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23 Senior Truths
Topic Started: Nov 5 2013, 09:46 AM (528 Views)
Darcie	Nov 5 2013, 09:46 AM Post #1
Skeptic Posts: 31,154 Group: Member Member #714 Joined: March 30, 2010	Received in my email. 1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. 23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Life just gets better as you get older does'nt it? I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.. I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod .... and how was your day? This is what happens when old people start using technology! See Campy, nothing about SH........



wildie	Nov 5 2013, 11:34 AM Post #2
Veteran Member Posts: 12,173 Group: Member Member #442 Joined: October 11, 2006	Quote: 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. I would love my obit to say that I was shot to death at the age of 103, by a jealous husband!



Trotsky	Nov 6 2013, 04:03 AM Post #3
Big City Boy Posts: 38,319 Group: Member Member #79 Joined: September 8, 2005	And of course: "I have to Google that!" Take 10 steps to the desk and it's "Google WHAT?" I think one must be at least 60 to have had enough practice to fold fitted sheets. Quote: 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? It's particularly embarrassing when what they said was "My son was just run over by a bus" and you sit there nodding and grinning. Edited by Trotsky, Nov 6 2013, 04:06 AM.



Deleted User	Nov 6 2013, 05:32 AM Post #4
Deleted User	My freezer HAS a light !!
Deleted User


wildie	Nov 6 2013, 09:17 AM Post #5
Veteran Member Posts: 12,173 Group: Member Member #442 Joined: October 11, 2006	begete_Justicette Nov 6 2013, 05:32 AM My freezer HAS a light !! Mine does too! Only its on the outside????



Durgan	Nov 6 2013, 10:39 AM Post #6
Veteran Member Posts: 13,273 Group: Gardening Guru Member #720 Joined: March 31, 2010	5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? Ya don't. It is rolled into a ball. The real problems is installing it on the bed. Which is the narrow sides? The same issue arises with the comforter.



reactivate	Nov 6 2013, 11:07 AM Post #7
Gold Star Member Posts: 3,897 Group: Member Member #769 Joined: May 18, 2010	The real problem is how do you get the damn thing over an 18" thick mattress.



heatseeker	Nov 6 2013, 11:27 AM Post #8
Veteran Member Posts: 10,320 Group: Member Member #713 Joined: March 30, 2010	I hate fitted sheets.



Darcie	Nov 6 2013, 11:57 AM Post #9
Skeptic Posts: 31,154 Group: Member Member #714 Joined: March 30, 2010	You buy sheets for 18" mattresses. Mine fit perfectly, and, I love fitted sheets, they never come off and making the bed is much easier since they invented those.



Darcie	Nov 6 2013, 11:58 AM Post #10
Skeptic Posts: 31,154 Group: Member Member #714 Joined: March 30, 2010	Was learning cursive really necessary? Don't think the medical profession ever learnt it, and, it sure didn't affect their earning power.



agate	Nov 6 2013, 04:21 PM Post #11
Posts: 21,864 Group: Administration Member #203 Joined: February 2, 2006	bounce and jump045 Thanks darcie...still laughing over the last part bounce and jump045



Trotsky	Nov 7 2013, 01:45 AM Post #12
Big City Boy Posts: 38,319 Group: Member Member #79 Joined: September 8, 2005	reactivate Nov 6 2013, 11:07 AM The real problem is how do you get the damn thing over an 18" thick mattress. Or more commonly, how do you get an 18 inch sheet to look good on a 10 inch mattress. A couple of my biggies are due for a visit to the sewing machine when I get housebound by a blizzard. They fit like a Size 18 dress on a Size 4 woman. And you CAN'T throw the offenders out because they cost $$$$$$. Edited by Trotsky, Nov 7 2013, 01:47 AM.



ocali	Nov 7 2013, 01:32 PM Post #13
Gold Star Member Posts: 3,107 Group: Member Member #13 Joined: June 30, 2005	All 23 fit me. I, also, have a light in my freezer. Love them all.



erka	Nov 7 2013, 01:43 PM Post #14
Gold Star Member Posts: 5,330 Group: Member Member #233 Joined: February 8, 2006	Trotsky: There are sheet suspenders - they remind me of the thingies that women use to hold up nylon stockings (during the mid 21st century) http://www.bedbathandbeyond.ca/store/product/sheet-straps-set-of-4/1014808051 Edited by erka, Nov 7 2013, 01:43 PM.



Trotsky	Nov 8 2013, 02:03 AM Post #15
Big City Boy Posts: 38,319 Group: Member Member #79 Joined: September 8, 2005	erka, I have tried them. They are a bytch to get on and risk tearing the sheets. I tossed them out. Yeah, they do look like those old sexy pictures of Betty Grable's legs.



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