Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

Kia Ora
You are currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and that there are some features you can't use or read.

We are an active community of worldwide senior members participating in chat, politics, travel, health, blogging, graphics, computer issues & help, book club, literature & poetry, finance discussions, recipe exchange and much more. Also, as a member you will be able to access member only sections, many features, send personal messages, make new friends, etc.

Registration is simple, fast and completely free. Why not register today and become a part of the group. Registration button at the very top left of the page.

Thank you for stopping by.

Join our community!

In case of difficulty, email worldwideseniors.org@gmail.com.
If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Laugh for the Day
Topic Started: Sep 4 2015, 09:35 AM (263 Views)
imjene
Member Avatar
Gold Star Member





The Italian Lover...

A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman.

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.

This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion..

The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied. Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping ...

Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You Finish?"

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, "No, I'm Norwegian."

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
swing
No Avatar
swing
LOL ~ good one!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Darcie
Member Avatar
Skeptic
imjene
Sep 4 2015, 09:35 AM




The Italian Lover...

A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman.

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.

This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion..

The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied. Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping ...

Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You Finish?"

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, "No, I'm Norwegian."

I feel like beating you with a wet noodle.

I have a very sore rib and I burst out laughing so much that I have tears in my eyes from the pain.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
FuzzyO
Member Avatar

laugh123 laugh123 laugh123 laugh123
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
imjene
Member Avatar
Gold Star Member
Sorry Darcie. I was not intending to cause pain, only laughter! laugh123 What happened to your rib?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Darcie
Member Avatar
Skeptic
imjene
Sep 4 2015, 04:32 PM
Sorry Darcie. I was not intending to cause pain, only laughter! laugh123 What happened to your rib?
I carefully turned around and stepped on the left toe of my too large slipper with my right foot and promptly fell backwards and hit my right back bottom ribs on the edge of a wooden chair seat. Ouch.

My large living room chair is getting a lot of use, sitting and sleeping, walking very carefully is OK, standing up to a sitting position is done gritting your teeth and bed is totally out of the question.

This too shall pass.

Lesson 1, it was good I had my cell phone in my robe pocket, though I did not need to use it. Lesson 2, don't be obsessed with making the bed right away and lesson 3, get slippers that fit properly.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
margrace
No Avatar
Gold Star Member
A couple of my lessons lately are to be in the present, bad habit to let the mind wonder. So moving or getting up are done very carefully now. And since I haven't driven very much for a few years, and I now have to , I concentrate entirely on the road in front of me and behind me. No looking at whats going on in someones yard for instance. They call it being in the present.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Bitsy
Member Avatar
Veteran Member
I missed this yesterday so I have two good laughs to the start of my day and weekend. Sorry for your ouches, Darcie, and thanks for the advice.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
imjene
Member Avatar
Gold Star Member
Your experience, Darcie, reminds me that I should trash my slippers. I bought them because they were
one of few that had a raised heal. However, they have no support in the upper part and my foot tends to
turn sideways in them. I always take them off when going up the stairs. -- Hope you heal soon.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Darcie
Member Avatar
Skeptic
imjene
Sep 5 2015, 05:16 AM
Your experience, Darcie, reminds me that I should trash my slippers. I bought them because they were
one of few that had a raised heal. However, they have no support in the upper part and my foot tends to
turn sideways in them. I always take them off when going up the stairs. -- Hope you heal soon.
Out with the slippers. This is the second time these slippers have cause a fall. I was looking at some last week and thought, I will do it later.

The pain is now less than it was, and I have learned how to move to minimize it. I am healing. Coughing is still an ouch but luckily for me I do very very little of that.

I sure miss my bed though.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Trotsky
Member Avatar
Big City Boy
We watched a programmatic dreadful movie on Netflix from the EATING OUT series. Salacious mindless comedy stuff about teens and adults at Camp. They made dozens of them.
THis was called EATING OUT: DRAMA CAMP. <Much gayer than most of them. Cute guys...less cute comedy.>
Anyway a licentious old aunt had a line that had me in stiches.
She is bouncing off the walls in a hallway away with a gorgeous 20-something TO DIE FOR guy. SHe yells out "I am so hot, you are so hot etc." as they claw at one another's clothes.

So then this 60-something women yells out: "I haven't been this wet since Reagan was shot."

That got to my funny-bone BIG TIME.
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Bitsy
Member Avatar
Veteran Member
Trotsky
Sep 6 2015, 03:16 AM
ThaSo then this 60-something women yells out: "I haven't been this wet since Reagan was shot."

That got to my funny-bone BIG TIME.
Funny.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Sense of Humour · Next Topic »
Add Reply