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| Laugh for the Day | |
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| Topic Started: Sep 4 2015, 09:35 AM (263 Views) | |
| imjene | Sep 4 2015, 09:35 AM Post #1 |
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Gold Star Member
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The Italian Lover... A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion.. The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No." Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied. Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping ... Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You Finish?" Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, "No, I'm Norwegian." |
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| swing | Sep 4 2015, 10:40 AM Post #2 |
swing
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LOL ~ good one! |
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| Darcie | Sep 4 2015, 10:40 AM Post #3 |
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Skeptic
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I feel like beating you with a wet noodle. I have a very sore rib and I burst out laughing so much that I have tears in my eyes from the pain. |
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| FuzzyO | Sep 4 2015, 01:11 PM Post #4 |
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laugh123 laugh123 laugh123 laugh123 |
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| imjene | Sep 4 2015, 04:32 PM Post #5 |
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Gold Star Member
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Sorry Darcie. I was not intending to cause pain, only laughter! laugh123 What happened to your rib? |
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| Darcie | Sep 4 2015, 04:46 PM Post #6 |
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Skeptic
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I carefully turned around and stepped on the left toe of my too large slipper with my right foot and promptly fell backwards and hit my right back bottom ribs on the edge of a wooden chair seat. Ouch. My large living room chair is getting a lot of use, sitting and sleeping, walking very carefully is OK, standing up to a sitting position is done gritting your teeth and bed is totally out of the question. This too shall pass. Lesson 1, it was good I had my cell phone in my robe pocket, though I did not need to use it. Lesson 2, don't be obsessed with making the bed right away and lesson 3, get slippers that fit properly. |
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| margrace | Sep 5 2015, 12:53 AM Post #7 |
Gold Star Member
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A couple of my lessons lately are to be in the present, bad habit to let the mind wonder. So moving or getting up are done very carefully now. And since I haven't driven very much for a few years, and I now have to , I concentrate entirely on the road in front of me and behind me. No looking at whats going on in someones yard for instance. They call it being in the present. |
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| Bitsy | Sep 5 2015, 01:25 AM Post #8 |
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Veteran Member
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I missed this yesterday so I have two good laughs to the start of my day and weekend. Sorry for your ouches, Darcie, and thanks for the advice. |
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| imjene | Sep 5 2015, 05:16 AM Post #9 |
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Gold Star Member
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Your experience, Darcie, reminds me that I should trash my slippers. I bought them because they were one of few that had a raised heal. However, they have no support in the upper part and my foot tends to turn sideways in them. I always take them off when going up the stairs. -- Hope you heal soon. |
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| Darcie | Sep 5 2015, 05:48 AM Post #10 |
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Skeptic
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Out with the slippers. This is the second time these slippers have cause a fall. I was looking at some last week and thought, I will do it later. The pain is now less than it was, and I have learned how to move to minimize it. I am healing. Coughing is still an ouch but luckily for me I do very very little of that. I sure miss my bed though. |
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| Trotsky | Sep 6 2015, 03:16 AM Post #11 |
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Big City Boy
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We watched a programmatic dreadful movie on Netflix from the EATING OUT series. Salacious mindless comedy stuff about teens and adults at Camp. They made dozens of them. THis was called EATING OUT: DRAMA CAMP. <Much gayer than most of them. Cute guys...less cute comedy.> Anyway a licentious old aunt had a line that had me in stiches. She is bouncing off the walls in a hallway away with a gorgeous 20-something TO DIE FOR guy. SHe yells out "I am so hot, you are so hot etc." as they claw at one another's clothes. So then this 60-something women yells out: "I haven't been this wet since Reagan was shot." That got to my funny-bone BIG TIME. |
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| Bitsy | Sep 6 2015, 03:22 AM Post #12 |
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Veteran Member
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Funny. |
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5:28 AM Jul 14