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| Topic Started: Mar 2 2016, 08:05 AM (439 Views) | |
| swing | Mar 2 2016, 08:05 AM Post #1 |
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swing
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I'm on a rant ~ our daughter who spends her life planning her next trip, just texted her dad, yes her dad, as he's EASY! It's their 10th anniversary in May, she's booked four days in Vancouver, on the assumption we will kid and dog sit. Am I wrong to think she should've consulted with us first? We have nothing planned but what if we did?? In her mind and she has a point, our lives have been focused on her brother with all his issues and she feels slighted! It would not be any different if it were her with the issues. She's 44 get over it! |
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| FuzzyO | Mar 3 2016, 02:04 AM Post #16 |
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Funny how you don't see kids coming around wanting to shovel any more. That, and raking leaves, used to be a way for young ones to earn some pocket money. |
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| blizzard | Mar 3 2016, 02:37 AM Post #17 |
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Gold Star Member
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Oh Swing, do I ever hear you! Of course your daughter should have asked you. I tried explaining to my youngest that all four of my children are equally loved but when there is a need I can help with it might appear one gets more than another. The differences are that her sisters never expect me to be available and always appreciate what I can/will do. Her 'needs' tend to be financial which I now always refuse. I told her to talk to her father from now on if she wants money. I also had to firmly say that I will not be financially responsible for her pets while she is off gallivanting in Thailand. While I am home I can take them to see a vet so long as she has set aside money for them. It is taking her a very long time to grow up! |
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| Dana | Mar 3 2016, 06:29 AM Post #18 |
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WWS Hummingbird Guru & Wildlife photographer extrordinaire
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A friend, and sometimes her husband, is still playing chauffeur to her mid twenties son who comes and goes to and from Alberta and Saskatchewan for work. He did have an island job but is off all over the place again with mom and dad's continuous help. It does take come children longer to grow up than others. Their latest trip to a far off airport cost them their time, their business's time and time from getting the sailboat ready to launch once more. I bet dad is pissed way more than mom who coddles the baby of the family. |
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| angora | Mar 3 2016, 08:10 AM Post #19 |
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WWS Book Club Coordinator
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The way I look at helping my kids....I signed up for the full tour. |
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| goldengal | Mar 3 2016, 08:18 AM Post #20 |
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Mistress, House of Dogs
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And I am with you Angora. Take care, Pat |
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| Darcie | Mar 3 2016, 10:01 AM Post #21 |
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Skeptic
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The daughter I used to live with had a lot of dependence on me for errands etc. When I moved to London she had a heck of a time organizing herself with mom not there. I think it is a good idea that she has learned to do without me around. I used to worry that if I suddenly croaked she would be way out in left field. At least when I left she had me to ask about x,y, z. Once there was a burst pipe in the basement and she and her husband had no idea where the water shutoff was in the front yard and where the key was to shut it. It was where I told my sil in law who had forgotten. Six years later I still get the occasional call asking me if they have something and if so do I remember where it is. |
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| goldengal | Mar 3 2016, 10:30 AM Post #22 |
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Mistress, House of Dogs
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Well I have to say my daughter does not rely on me for anything like that. She runs a company with many offices and has hundreds of employees and many more problems than one would encounter in their house. She has had so many personal problems in the past 3.5 years and I am just glad I am here for her. Take care, Pat |
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| Dana | Mar 3 2016, 10:33 AM Post #23 |
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WWS Hummingbird Guru & Wildlife photographer extrordinaire
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Yes, I think that most parents help and I am sometimes the Bank of Mom for my kids as well as baby sitter and whatever else they need. They were raised to be independent adults and find ways to take care of most of their needs without me. They stayed at home as long as they needed to and know that as long as I have room they are welcome in times of need but have their own lives to live. |
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| helen_t | Mar 3 2016, 10:41 AM Post #24 |
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Red Star Member
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and I am with you both |
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| Darcie | Mar 3 2016, 10:48 AM Post #25 |
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Skeptic
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My three daughters would love to have me living with them, but I figure that as I age I would become an increasingly bigger burden. I like visiting, often, and when there I do cook all their favourites, often do all the mending and search the stores for things they don't have time to look for because of their heavy work loads. Of course if any needed me I would be there, but so far there has been no need for me. I think there is a big difference from living on your own even nearby or living with them 24/7. Pat is seems that your daughter is away so much that she is not at home a lot from the sound of what you say. |
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| Kahu | Mar 3 2016, 10:53 AM Post #26 |
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Stay close to your family Darcie. |
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| swing | Mar 3 2016, 11:10 AM Post #27 |
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swing
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The way I look at helping my kids....I signed up for the full tour. All I ask is the respect and courtesy of asking if we're available, instead of assuming. |
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| FuzzyO | Mar 3 2016, 12:21 PM Post #28 |
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And that is more than fair Swing. |
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| swing | Mar 3 2016, 12:50 PM Post #29 |
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swing
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Thanks FuzzyO I think so! |
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| friendshipgal | Mar 3 2016, 01:13 PM Post #30 |
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Guess everyone wants their own Trudashians
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This is true.. we are still helping out the kids but they always ask first ... well not ask directly but .. |
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