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| Tweet Topic Started: Saturday, 18. September 2010, 02:48 (303 Views) | |
| Dekky | Saturday, 18. September 2010, 02:48 Post #1 |
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The Rock Raptor
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Chapter One He landed with a thud on the pavement, right beside an overflowing rubbish bin. Two orange eyes opened and looked out on this world for the first time. They saw a dark, star-lit sky and an empty road surrounded by concrete buildings. Lights shone through about half the windows that he could see. Powerlines stretched overhead, supplying electricity to thousands of people. A subtle green flash not too far away. The creature's comrade had arrived a little later than expected. He walked over to the spot, moving on two distinctly reptilian legs. Claw-tipped toes pierced the asphalt with ease. As the flash in the sky faded, another creature clad in black armour and sporting nasty fangs came into view. “Jura!” shouted the first newcomer, “You're late.” “There was a spot of bother inside the void. Some maniac with a revolver got sucked past me.” “As can be expected.” “So, where are we?” “On Earth.” “I know that, knucklehead. Be more specific.” “Fine... we're in the north half, in a city called Munich.” “Munich? You mean in Jeramy?” “It's called Germany.” “I knew that.” Jura surveyed the homes, trying to see into those lighted windows. He whistled. “Quite some setup here. Humans seem to know a few tricks about building.” “Except that their settlements only have three dimensions.” “Hmm, that is a bummer. They don't move, either.” “Can you stop examining houses? We have a job to do!” “You're right. Speak, Santos.” The alien called Santos folded his muscular arms. “Our mission” he recited, “is to locate the first of the Human Elementals and destroy them. They live somewhere in this town, and we know what they look like.” Jura interrupted at that stage, causing Santos' eyes to narrow. “I know all that, Crita told me. But why are we both needed for a simple search?” “You're not searching.” “Pardon?” “Tomorrow, the others are sending our first wave. You will meet the soldiers here and our war shall begin. Think you can handle it?” Jura's eyes glowed and, underneath his helmet, he smiled. “Finally, I get to break something.” It was 2013, the year that the Malkawi struck. Chapter Two Laura Newton, just like everyone else, was oblivious to the two beings that had appeared out of nowhere. She sat on her bed, her eyes fixed to the screen of the television. It was connected to a PlayStation console – secondhand – with Quake 2 inside. On the screen Laura moved around with a shotgun in her hand, shooting at people in green uniforms. Suddenly her view tilted and it read GAME OVER in white letters on a blue strip. Laura gave up, throwing her controller onto the floor and sulking. At seventeen years of age, she was supposed to be at highschool. Unfortunately, she had failed most of her exams and her parents had decided that school was a waste of time. Laura just wasn't good at anything, be it trigonometry, soccer or even Quake 2. She lived in a small apartment with her parents and six-year-old brother, Carl. No friends at all. To her it was like being hated by the entire world. And yet, she hadn't given up. Her mother had boarded up the window in case she decided to kill herself. But she knew that she would never do that. She was different, in a way that she couldn't explain. Two years ago, she had woken up to find that her fingernails were six inches long. And there was also the time when she touched Carl and he instantly fainted. Maybe, Laura thought, she could be a magician who made money by showing off her 'Hand of Doom' or something. The call of her mother enticed Laura into the dining room. Carl was also there, wearing a shapeless red sweater. Her dad was nowhere to be seen. He had a job at the local university as a history teacher, specializing in the World Wars. You would expect such skills from someone who was fully German, and whose grandfather had been present at the launching of the Bismarck. His daughter didn't pay any attention to him, however. Dad stepped through the door just as Laura sat down at the table. He still wore his brown suit and tie, which matched his modest moustache. Looking down at Carl, his bald scalp was revealed. A large plate was laid down on the table, holding some hot croissants. That was another thing; Laura's parents were obssessed with French food. Her mother used to live in Paris, and had worked in a bakery there. A newspaper lay beside Laura. While everyone else fussed over cutlery, she took a quick peek at the jobs section. Nothing interesting at all. Her mother spoke up. “Don't you want to do anything, dear?” “No. I just want to get a boyfriend and go to lots of fancy parties.” That's what she had said over and over again since she left highschool. Apart from the magician fantasy, Laura wasn't motivated by anything at all. Nobody had ever said “Hey, give this a go” or encouraged her positively. It had all just been insults and jeering and occasional punches. That was the main reason that she was so appaling at everything. Still, she was keeping fit, thanks to Mum's French dinners and healthy snacks. A happy family. But they wouldn't stay that way for long... Chapter Three Dawn saw the black-armored warrior skulking down a small alley. One of the things Santos had mentioned was that when light from Earth’s sun reached it, humans would become active. This had surprised him at first, because he had thought that all sapient creatures would be nocturnal. Instead the feeble Homo sapiens had adapted to a world rich in color. Out of sight and earshot, Jura focused his gaze on the air ahead. Soon a large hole opened leading back home. When it was large enough Jura leaped through. He crossed a corridor between dimensions in the blink of an eye. Only a lone sparrow watched from high above. Not far away his comrade had located the home of their target. Santos slipped into the shadows and waited. Someone left the house two hours after dawn: a man in a brown suit. He would act as ‘drone host’. With a flick of his wrist, Santos threw something in the man’s direction. It was round and about the size of a pocket watch. Just before it struck the man’s head the device whirred and activated a hover system that stabilized it six feet above the footpath. Ultrasonic and infrared sensors switched themselves on and locked onto the target. Then the spy drone glided smoothly forward and followed the man. He would be its host for twenty-four hours. Inside the house Laura was sleeping peacefully. She hadn’t bothered to turn the PlayStation off and her TV screen was a blue rectangle. Her window was also a blue rectangle, due to the fact that Santos was hanging from the roof. Laura’s dormance was fortunate for the enemy. He spent four minutes surveying the bedroom. Then he silently dropped down to the ground. On the street, Laura’s father was humming to himself. Today he was to deliver a lecture on the Treaty of Versailles. A piece of cake as far as he was concerned. He turned a corner and almost crashed into an old colleague who was walking his dog. “Sorry there.” “No it’s not a problem Bruce! How are you?” “Perfectly fine old friend. The university is coping without you.” Their conversation managed to last six-and-a-half minutes, which was time that the spy drone had to spend concealed behind a Bus Stop sign. Bruce Newton continued on his way and the spy drone followed. Soon afterwards a bus drove by. Just as Laura woke up it passed her house. There was no sign of Santos. Chapter Four Bruce opened his front door and stepped inside. He was still oblivious to the spy drone monitoring his every move. It moved up into the ceiling area and adjusted its cameras. Then it began broadcasting live footage to a handheld computer belonging to Santos. He sat concealed across the street, watching as Laura and everyone else sat at the dinner table. Not far away, a portal opened and an orange-armored creature emerged from it. Jura followed it, and after him came a dozen or so biomechanical soldiers clad in red, purple, golden and black amror. They carried long swords and battleaxes with blades so sharp they could split diamond. The group crept into a dark area away from the road. "The target dwelling is half a nalle in that direction. I don't want any collapses." With a nod from Jura, the orange creature unsheathed two large digging blades and buried them in the exposed soil. Then it carved a hole and, tunnelling with incredible speed, began a subterranean path to Laura's house. One by one, the soldiers entered the new tunnel and followed the Excavator. Jura soon heard a call from it. "Sorry, Jura," said the Excavator, "I've ruptured some kind of grey pipe. Might contain electrical cables. Should I dig lower?" "No, just keep going. These humans won't miss a little flow of electrons." He was wrong. Laura's mother tried to turn the television on and was disappointed when the remote didn't work. Santos saw her frustration and sighed. "Darn it, they've cut through a power cable." Within minutes, Santos could see a slight bulge in the floor of the house. Directly underneath the hovering spy drone, a claw tore through the carpet. Jura's excavator emerged from a sizeable hole and stood up. Everyone sitting at the dinner table froze in shock. Little Jack turned very pale indeed. Santos had all the data he needed. With the flick of a switch the spy drone was terminated. It fell down into the tunnel half a nalle long, and stopped at Jura's feet. Chapter Five Face-to-face with a two-metre-tall fanged biped, Laura was more terrified than she had ever been before. Even worse was the creature's massive metal pincer clamped around her neck. It began to speak, its voice sending shivers down her spine. “Don't try to move. If you do, I will force you to watch your family die and then you may lose a limb or two. I could crush you right now but then you'd be no use to my comrades. One of them is on his way now. His name is Santos. I suggest you two get along, because you'll be spending the rest of your pitifully short life with him.” Behind Laura, her parents and brother had been tied up and surrounded by soldiers. The orange excavator stood in a corner, watching everything with amusement. A noise came from outside and it turned its head to see Santos coming in through the front door. By this time poor Jack had fainted. None of the soldiers really cared. “My greetings to you, parents of this fine young lady,” said Santos. He spoke confidently and slowly, clearly in total control of the situation. “I'm sorry that I have to take her away and do generally nasty things to her. But that's what I do. I exploit other species for my own survival. Say goodbye to your dear Laura now.” If Laura's parents could talk, they would be yelling blue murder. But Jura had decided that they were too annoying and gagged them. Muffled curses were all that could be heard. Jura released his grip on Laura, who had tears streaming from her eyes. She did not talk or even look at her enemies, but stood still. “Time to come with me Laura.” Santos seized her arm and pulled her after him. Almost at the door, Laura opened her mouth and screamed. The grip on her wrist was tightened. But then something very strange indeed happened. First, a glow in the girl's eyes. Her irises emitted bright green light. Then the air around her seemed to shimmer like in a heat haze. Suddenly Santos let her go and cried out. He clutched his own arm, which seemed to be sprouting needle-like growths. Finally there was a crackling of flame, and everybody realized that the walls had ignited. Flames licked at the wooden surfaces. Jura's excavator wasted no time and lunged for Laura. Fortunately for her, it was tripped up by Santos and plunged down into its own tunnel. She fled, leaving the burning house behind her. Edited by Dekky, Saturday, 18. September 2010, 07:36.
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| Warrior Poet | Saturday, 18. September 2010, 04:33 Post #2 |
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If you lead me, I will go.
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I remember this story from last time, and I like it just like last time. You also said "purplw" like last time
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Look carefully. There's something wrong with this picture. | |
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| Dekky | Saturday, 18. September 2010, 07:36 Post #3 |
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The Rock Raptor
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There, it's fixed! Happy? More coming tomorrow. |
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This week: I am now taking requests! If you want me to model something for you on 'Art of Illusion,' just send me a message. If you'd like to see samples of my work, check out my Art Topic! (hint: it's in the Art forum) | |
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| Yuki Kashiwagi | Saturday, 18. September 2010, 09:47 Post #4 |
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AKB48
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...No wonder this looked familiar. |
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寝ても覚めてもゆきりんワールド、夢中にさせちゃうぞ♪ ゆきりんこと柏木由紀です。よろしくお願いします。 | |
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| Phovos | Saturday, 18. September 2010, 13:05 Post #5 |
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Medicating Raptor
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Hm... I do remember reading this but I don't remember if I replied or not. It's interesting, but the only niggles I have are that the names and the aliens themselves are very... Bionicle-y and that the meet-up between Laura and the aliens is incredibly quick. I know they are intelligent, but use a little suspense while speaking from the aliens' point of view, not mentioning Laura's name until they are right on top of her. |
I have a whole website. It's kinda lame though.![]() | |
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| Dekky | Saturday, 18. September 2010, 22:54 Post #6 |
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The Rock Raptor
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Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I am writing a longer version with more suspense but at the moment I just want to finish the first part of this saga and get on with the main storyline. Here are Chapters 6 to 8, again. Chapter Six The device was removed from his arm and Santos could see that the needle-like tumours were already disappearing. Somehow his target had affected a particularly volatile gene. One of Jura’s soldiers had just treated him with a machine that used viral vectors to repair the DNA. “Everything back to normal?”, he asked it. “Well you’re going to have scars underneath your armour for a few weeks, but they’ll clear up.” They were sitting in the basement of what had been Laura’s house. An hour before firefighters had been here salvaging what they could of the burning home. During that time Santos, Jura and their warriors had sheltered in a shed nearby. While there two spy drones had been deployed to track the girl, but so far they hadn’t found her. It was ten minutes later that Jura entered. Over the years he had developed a tendency to walk with his feet wide apart when he was in a good mood. Right then he walked like there was a horse between his legs. “Found something then? Or someone?” “I hope you aren’t going to blame me for the Elemental escaping.” “I’m not. Our mission might be trickier than I thought.” “Why didn’t you listen to me? Back at home, I was the one who said she would be able to use her power. I was the one who said she might slip past us.” “Your point being?” “Crita should have put me in charge. Then we wouldn’t be here.” Santos looked at his arm again. By now all the weird tumours were mere lumps. Satisfied with the treatment, he turned his attention back to Jura. “Will you tell me the good news or not?” He sighed and came closer. “One of the spy drones saw her hiding about five nalles away.” “Strange. You’d think humans would have the sense to run as far away as possible.” “As far as humans go, she’s not exactly a spark. So the drone has been watching her for the last ten minutes and she won’t come out any time soon. She’s in some kind of waste disposal cubicle.” “We’ll leave as soon as these – pimples – disappear.” At the door, Jura warned of two pedestrians just outside. “You’re still worried about being seen? We don’t need to hide any more.” “You mean-“ “I’ll get the girl. You take out those people and signal our army. The Malkawi invasion will begin now.” Chapter Seven What the people were hearing was like something out of Doctor Who. Had the entire police riot squad been called out? Everyone who could look outside did. Instead of officers with glass shields or marching Cybermen, they saw a group of perhaps thirty creatures clad in gleaming armor. And they weren’t all moving at the same pace, for many stopped occasionally to menace a cat or check the interior of a house. Thanks to cellphone communication, word spread all over the city within minutes. Residents fled their homes, running as far away from those things as they could. Some sought out their elderly relatives. Others cared nothing for anybody, including themselves. But nobody had any idea of how bad the situation would get. Thirty soldiers wasn’t an army. Late in the afternoon, the thirty warriors were stationed right in the centre of Munich. Everyone in the city had run away from them, to residential areas on the outside of the city or to overcrowded airports. Those who left were only postponing their death, not escaping it. Those who stayed wouldn’t live to suffer. That night, the air shimmered above Munich. A huge portal opened, and more biomechanical creatures emerged from it. They landed on their feet and carefully surveyed the surrounding area. Several dozen ended up in the city centre, but the vast majority – nearly ten thousand – formed a border around the city. They began to close in on the people sheltering in the outermost buildings. One group of fifty headed for the airport to slaughter anyone still there. The crowds inside would be massive, and nobody would be able to move in the cramped space. Like a giant sitting duck with no legs. While all this was going on, Santos was pursuing Laura Newton. She had been hiding in a toilet cubicle but had departed the building a mere minute before he reached her. However one of his spy drones was still tracking her. It was sending back slightly blurred footage, and Santos decided that this was due to an unpolished lens. Once again he enjoyed blaming Jura for something. But he knew where Laura was going, and he knew how to get there before she did. Looking around, Jura knew that his plan was working. Terrified people had seen his scouting party and ran for it. Now they were spread out nicely at the perimeter of Munich, with the exception of the airport sardines. He was more than satisfied with the work of his soldiers. But how about the one human who wouldn’t be killed there? Activating a microphone/speaker system inside his helmet, Jura established a link with Santos. “Got her yet?” “Almost. She’s approaching a transport hub.” “And..?” “I’m already there. My disk launcher is charging right now. Very soon I’ll be with you. And he will be locked up with her parents.” “That’s not part of the plan.” “Plans can change. I think she deserves to see her family tortured, to let her know what she’s in for.” “Fair enough. I’m off to sharpen my claws. See you.” Chapter Eight When Laura reached the train station, she found it completely empty. It was about three blocks away from the soldiers who had scared residents to the city boundaries. Of course she didn't know about them, only that she was being pursued by a nightmarish creature. Her plan had been to hide on a train and let it take her away. But now she was trapped. Running through the station she searched desperately for somebody who could help her. Once she called out, hoping that Santos wouldn't hear her. No responses, no other people there. Laura began to cry, her sobs echoing off the marbled surfaces of the reception hall. She heard a different sound, a kind of whispered hiss, and spun around. No sign of her enemy, but the noise was made again. As far as she could tell, it was coming from inside the ticket booth. “Get in here quickly!” It was man's voice, and it sounded like he was in pain. With tears streaming down her face, Laura ran for the booth and ducked inside through the red wooden door. She found a person crouching on the floor. He was clad in black, his face hidden by a modified motorcycle helmet. Lying next to him was a police riot shield. Dried blood was visible where his right shoe met the trouser leg. Obviously this man had been in a fight with one of the soldiers. He spoke to Laura as calmly as he could. “Are you hurt?” She shook her head, too terrified to talk. “My name is Dennis. I'm pretty high up on the most wanted list but that doesn't matter now. Not with these monsters around. The government spent a lot of money trying to bring me to justice 'cause I knew things. I found weak spots in their security, tested most of them as well. And I knew about the Malkawi. That's what this army is called.” Dennis stopped when he heard footsteps outside. Not human footsteps though. This sound was a soft metallic thud, followed by the scraping of claws against tiles. Santos had been waiting in ambush outside, and if it hadn't been for Dennis then Laura would have fallen into his trap very easily. But now the two were trapped, unless they could divert his attention. Although not the brightest girl, Laura had come up with a plan. She pointed out several objects in the room, and Dennis nodded after a moment. Moving slowly, he reached over to an item sitting on the desk where a ticket salesman would usually sit. But the next sound was Santos' voice. “I know you're here. I know where you are...” Nothing for a minute. Laura could feel her heart missing beats. But suddenly, there was an explosion. It deafened the two who had been hidden, blasting them with pieces of wooden door and violent heat. Then it was over, and a cloud of dust began to settle. “Don't try that again. And a friend, I see. You'll make good... pet food.” |
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2:14 PM Jul 11