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| Winter is coming; My BWC18 entry, prolly wont win anything but its worth a shot. :D | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Saturday, 18. December 2010, 16:42 (97 Views) | |
| Harket | Saturday, 18. December 2010, 16:42 Post #1 |
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asian
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Winter is coming A small young girl, clothed in rags Scurries along the street Her large brown eyes terrified and panicked She hopes for a kind stranger to meet. The territory is new and unfamiliar Her surrounding dark and forbidding The looming buildings rise to meet her To devour her in their everlasting cling. She hopes to sell her meager goods To earn her right to dinner, Her bones stick out, skin clings to her ribs Could this sallow girl be any thinner? She cannot sell these goods of hers And the wind rages bitter cold She cannot return to her excuse of a home Before her goods are sold No roof over her head can protect Her parents will beat her blue But the night draws near, the shadows loom Impending is her doom. They brush her off, them passers-by, Brush her off as another beggar “Please, sir, please, won’t you buy my goods? They’re fresh from strong trees in the woods.” “Get lost, get off, I have no time.” The words snarled once too often. What they don’t know is that tomorrow, her matches will be sold no more. For she’ll be long gone, in a place of pure gold Fast succumbed to the sharp winds and cold. Winter is coming And the bitter winds grow, Winter is coming, And torture only one will know. Children first to be flung out, Children first to fall, On the street they leave this earth Pallid ashen faces Slowly, slowly, soul a leaving, Fingers slowly numbing On the street they fall - they fall, they fall, first one then all, For the cold hard winter is coming. Two women hand out party coupons To an early Christmas party Hand out to children on the streets Their laughs are deep and hearty. They think, they think, they truly believe That they are being kind They invite some homeless kids off the street – But what about the rest who are left behind? The party is held the very next day – Those with coupons are welcome. But those with longing eyes and no tickets? They get not even a crumb! The party starts, the windows glow The children from the outside gaze in, Their eye large as saucers at the view that they behold, Food, warmth, games – everything twofold! And amidst the partying, games and fun, A small girl slips out the door. In her small hand she holds a plastic cup, Containing a liquid gold to her, she longs and aches for more. But she hurries on to the gate, Where the crowed of unwelcomed gather, They stand there in threadbare clothes, Despite the cruel weather. The gate she reaches, she passes the cup To the one she calls her mother That One takes a sip and sighs And passes it on to another. One sip, one sigh, one cry of delight, The liquid gold goes round till it’s gone. Till every drip and drop has been savored It takes till the early morn. But its worth it, for everyone had a sip Every single bloke So lucky, they were to be able to drink That drink that we call Coke. But in the midst of the biting chilly night, A child has collapsed on the lane. She’s fine, just fine, only sleeping, Never to wake again. Winter is coming And the bitter winds grow, Winter is coming, And torture only one will know. Children first to be flung out, Children first to fall, On the street they leave this earth Pallid ashen faces Slowly, slowly, soul a leaving, Fingers slowly numbing On the street they fall - they fall, they fall, first one then all, For the cold hard winter is coming. The homeless child, scavenges on the streets The garbage is a treasure chest The scraps, the waste, all that’s been thrown out Is dinner, and he’s the guest. His eyes dart about, mad and wild, Hungry for a leftover sandwich, From the corner of his eye, he spots something, Some scrap of food in a ditch. He scrambles over to the ditch His stomach eager to be fed. Could it be… could it be? Is that what he sees? It is! It’s a piece of stale bread! He can’t believe his luck today, He is ever so blessed. Leaning against the large dead tree, He decides to eat and rest. He’s just about to gorge himself, To stop his feeling empty When he feels a stinging pain in his head He loses all feeling completely. Another larger boy steals up beside him His work here is done. Then he rips the bread out of the other’s hand He stuffs himself with the bun. Without a second glance at his victim, The larger boy saunters away Today, he decides, today Has been his lucky day! The other boy, once mad with hunger, Obsessed with stopping his stomach’s pangs, Lays there, flat out on the ground, Ah! Tis but a flesh wound! A flesh wound that did its work, A flesh wound that will not hurt. For even as the snow and frost forms around him, To that and to all he will never be alert. Winter is here And the bitter winds howl, Winter is here, The empty stomachs growl. Children first to be flung out, Children first to fall, On the street they leave this earth Pallid ashen faces Slowly, slowly, soul a leaving, On the street they fall - they fall, they fall, first one then all, And the rich will stop to leer For the cold hard winter is here. Edited by Harket, Monday, 20. December 2010, 05:07.
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| James | Sunday, 19. December 2010, 22:40 Post #2 |
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it's all cool
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...wow. That's really good. There's a few typos here and there, but the flow was generally nice, it was very easy to read. The repitition was very nice, but it was depressing. It's something that makes you think, but not too hard. Just something that's relatively touching. The part about Coke was by far my favorite, but it's depressing really when they die. Good job. Like, really, really good job. I liked this one a lot, and I think it's my favorite of yours so far. *highfive* Keep up the good work.
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| Harket | Monday, 20. December 2010, 03:32 Post #3 |
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asian
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Yay! Par, i love you. You replied! Thanks. ![]() Also, thanks for the praise. I think i quite enjoyed writing this one, cause It's kinda probably very true in different part of the world. You see the story was split into 3 parts? Actually, the first was kind of the little match girl. The last was just imagination. But the coke bit you loved? Actually, minus the girl dying, the whole thing there was true. It really happened. My friends mum went to some country, though i forgot which. They handed out coupons, and those who didnt get them, they were just all outside the house, like, using their arms to just hang on the gate and look in. And that whole bit about the girl, that was 100% true. It was so sad when i heard it, cause she just told us the whole story and ended it off with " and they were so happy cause they never tasted that drink before." "What drink was it?" "Coke." highfive back. ![]() EDIT: Also, thanks for reading this. Its kinda long and intimidating.
Edited by Harket, Monday, 20. December 2010, 05:01.
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Good job. Like, really, really good job. I liked this one a lot, and I think it's my favorite of yours so far. *highfive* Keep up the good work.

2:30 PM Jul 11