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| Going for the Flood | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thursday, 13. January 2011, 22:11 (57 Views) | |
| JuJuBee | Thursday, 13. January 2011, 22:11 Post #1 |
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Watching the sunrise with the ocean winds I'm thinking of how thankful I am For my family and friends 24/7 support, Their unyielding advice and protection People I can vent to without An unwanted reaction But sitting in my room, With the music playing I've got a blade in my hand And can't hear what anyone's saying I have the best--or worst--of both worlds And all the different emotions Play inside me In patterned swirls Darkness is a close friend of mine But what it does to me Plays with my mind Sunlight is just like air to me But all the light can blind So that I can't see Seeing the clouds drift around the moon I sing to myself without a tune I'm in my bathtub, Swimming in my own blood I've just sliced my wrist and am Going for the flood |
| "Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee." <--Good thing I love it! | |
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| Jessie | Thursday, 13. January 2011, 22:34 Post #2 |
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Hippohypocamputhalamus
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Ahhh, another poem about cutting. Whee! I'm glad you explained to me that this isn't biographical, presently. The cadence is much like a lot of other "emo" poems. "I'm close to darkness... I can't really see the light.... lalala." What makes this stand out is you catch us totally off-guard with the intro. We're all, "Yay! Finally a happy poem!" and then you're all, "Nuh uh! See this sharp object!" and we're all, "Noes!" But I'm not complaining. It helps bring us to terms with the fact that you're all dandy on the outside, and you think you SHOULD be happy, but for some reason you're not. Like, really really really not. As I mentioned in chat, "24/7" throws it off a bit. Maybe you could change it to something like "constant" or "never-ending". |
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| JuJuBee | Thursday, 13. January 2011, 22:39 Post #3 |
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Never-ending would work But yea, as I said in chat, this is NOT how I feel now - this poem is at least a year old. I agree, it is kind of an emo-ish poem, but, it was how I felt then. Writing, to me, is expression. This is just one of those outlets.
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| "Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee." <--Good thing I love it! | |
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But yea, as I said in chat, this is NOT how I feel now - this poem is at least a year old. I agree, it is kind of an emo-ish poem, but, it was how I felt then. Writing, to me, is expression. This is just one of those outlets.
2:30 PM Jul 11