| Welcome to Budding Writers! If you're seeing this message, you are currently viewing the forum as a guest. You should register if you want to post. Unless you're a spam bot. Then you probably shouldn't. |
| Light; | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sunday, 16. January 2011, 13:32 (88 Views) | |
| Harket | Sunday, 16. January 2011, 13:32 Post #1 |
![]()
asian
|
It’s a light Shining bright Reach out, take it Hold it tight It’s a light Shining bright You can make it Through the night It doesn’t matter what people say They don’t even know what happened And though each cut hurts deep; hurts more You know, it just makes you stronger They may curse They may spit They may string their lies together It may hurt It may sting But it won’t bring you down forever You are strong Carry on We will bring them down if we ever Fight them off Stop the loss We will piece the pieces together You’ll make it through It’s just for you You can make The first step too You’ll make it through Count one, count two Your future’s waiting, Waiting for you! PUDGE IF YOU'RE READING THIS. This was written for teh same reason as "Brightest Star." Has more-ish content, though.
|
| Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly. | |
View Profile |
|
| mousely | Sunday, 16. January 2011, 17:22 Post #2 |
![]()
Lose.
|
That's ... cute? I dunno. But I like it. It's as good as the other one. Is it the same chords?
|
View Profile |
|
| James | Sunday, 16. January 2011, 17:32 Post #3 |
|
it's all cool
|
This is awesome. :DD It's so amazingly... I dunno, it just is *highfive* good work, govnuh. |
| To protect the world from devastation. | |
View Profile |
|
| Warrior Poet | Monday, 17. January 2011, 02:56 Post #4 |
|
If you lead me, I will go.
|
Really, it's a song? Write down chord symbols then, but that's useless if you don't know the song. Record it, or something.What is the purpose of that line? lol It was pretty good for a "light" poem. There are a lot of those, though. I think a really cool inversion of that is The Blinding of False Light by AILD, and I wrote one called Prayer for Strength that was kind of like that too. Light and darkness are two truly basic, necessary parts of being human. Being in absolute darkness or blinding light will cause the human mind to go insane after a period. We need them. So while this poem was decent, you can do so much more because it's part of what ever human understands. The other thing was that every single point in the poem was a cliche. Cliches can be used to great poetic effect if you're careful with them. Do asking and you'll come up with better comparisons
|
|
Look carefully. There's something wrong with this picture. | |
View Profile |
|
| hephzibah | Thursday, 20. January 2011, 03:38 Post #5 |
|
1 Star
|
its been a while since i've read anything that rhymed... haha. good job.
|
| "Perhaps you have to have a little bit of hope to believe that beauty can be found, to believe that life does come back, that something can surprise you. And maybe they're somehow related. Maybe wonder feeds hope and hope feeds wonder. You see something beautiful and it reminds you that it's possible to see something beautiful." | |
View Profile |
|
| Harket | Wednesday, 2. February 2011, 08:51 Post #6 |
![]()
asian
|
Thank you beautiful people. ![]() @Par: <3 @Pudge: Nope, not the same. Teehee. This one's ALOT more complicated. ![]() @Heph: lol, it didnt really rhyme completely. Not really.
|
| Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly. | |
View Profile |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Poems · Next Topic » |







It's as good as the other one. Is it the same chords?

2:29 PM Jul 11