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Light;
Topic Started: Sunday, 16. January 2011, 13:32 (88 Views)
Harket
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asian
It’s a light
Shining bright
Reach out, take it
Hold it tight

It’s a light
Shining bright
You can make it
Through the night

It doesn’t matter what people say
They don’t even know what happened
And though each cut hurts deep; hurts more
You know, it just makes you stronger

They may curse
They may spit
They may string their lies together

It may hurt
It may sting
But it won’t bring you down forever

You are strong
Carry on
We will bring them down if we ever

Fight them off
Stop the loss
We will piece the pieces together

You’ll make it through
It’s just for you
You can make
The first step too

You’ll make it through
Count one, count two
Your future’s waiting,
Waiting for you!
PUDGE IF YOU'RE READING THIS. This was written for teh same reason as "Brightest Star." Has more-ish content, though. :)
Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly.
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mousely
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Lose.
That's ... cute? I dunno. But I like it. :D It's as good as the other one. Is it the same chords?
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James
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it's all cool
This is awesome. :DD It's so amazingly... I dunno, it just is *highfive* good work, govnuh.
To protect the world from devastation.
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Warrior Poet
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If you lead me, I will go.
Really, it's a song? Write down chord symbols then, but that's useless if you don't know the song. Record it, or something.

Quote:
 
Count one, count two
What is the purpose of that line? lol

It was pretty good for a "light" poem. There are a lot of those, though. I think a really cool inversion of that is The Blinding of False Light by AILD, and I wrote one called Prayer for Strength that was kind of like that too. Light and darkness are two truly basic, necessary parts of being human. Being in absolute darkness or blinding light will cause the human mind to go insane after a period. We need them. So while this poem was decent, you can do so much more because it's part of what ever human understands.

The other thing was that every single point in the poem was a cliche. Cliches can be used to great poetic effect if you're careful with them. Do asking and you'll come up with better comparisons :)
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Look carefully. There's something wrong with this picture.
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hephzibah
1 Star
its been a while since i've read anything that rhymed... haha. good job. :D
‎"Perhaps you have to have a little bit of hope to believe that beauty can be found, to believe that life does come back, that something can surprise you. And maybe they're somehow related. Maybe wonder feeds hope and hope feeds wonder. You see something beautiful and it reminds you that it's possible to see something beautiful."
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Harket
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asian
Thank you beautiful people. :)

@Par: <3

@Pudge: Nope, not the same. Teehee. This one's ALOT more complicated. :P

@Heph: lol, it didnt really rhyme completely. Not really. :)
Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly.
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