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| Promises and Popsicles; A sonnet | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Wednesday, 26. January 2011, 04:35 (171 Views) | |
| Warrior Poet | Wednesday, 26. January 2011, 04:35 Post #1 |
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If you lead me, I will go.
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My Asian Film Of The Day today was The Place Promised In Our Early Days. It was totally different than most of the anime I watch. There was barely any action at all and the story moved really slowly. It made fun of lots of anime cliche by having a though-provoking plot but utterly one-sided characters. But there was one scene, a sunset, that really affected me. I couldn't find a screenshot of it, sorry. It was a sunset with the sun shining behind the monolith and it was just a beautiful piece of art. This has very little to do with the movie's actual plot, lol. Just the artwork. It was relaxing, actually. Also, anyone who's ever watched any anime at all should probably know why I named it what I did. I decided to write it as a Shakespearean sonnet even though it was based on an Asian film. 10 syllables a line, 14 lines, iambic pentameter. I actually messed up the rhyme scheme, but I'm glad with the way it turned out. -------------------------------------- Smooth shining waves call home into the sea Two brothers grieve as their hearts come undone Losing steadfast tears, gleaming eyes of tea Remember her gaze, its warmth like the sun Both lost in the chorus, rocks and the foam Hearts long to hold long-forgotten dreams Popsicles and promises became home Hurt far too long, they yearn to be redeemed She's still asleep three aching years from then Their lives have betrayed them so many times But sorry's what made these boys into men Such great love demands a tower to climb Against every fate, one takes to the skies Finally deep memories open her eyes |
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| James | Thursday, 27. January 2011, 15:33 Post #2 |
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it's all cool
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This part was my favorite. It's really pretty and flows nicely. And is sort of sad, but the true sadness of it evaporates a little bit with the rhyme scheme. It tells a story, and a good one at that, and if we still had the rep button, you'd be getting +1. Good work. ^-^
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| Harket | Saturday, 5. February 2011, 07:08 Post #3 |
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asian
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That was.. amazingly beautiful. The first line drew me in straight away, and the rest just followed. The only weird bit was "gleaming eyes of tea." Strikes me as odd. I read it as "tears of tea", which i think sounds better so neverthemind. ![]() Popsicles? Really? Just... why?
Yayy for boys to men!And a striking ending to finish it off, complete with visual imageries and feeling, give it up for Promises and Popsicles!!! ![]() 'Twas beaut. Ily. <3 |
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Good work. ^-^


2:25 PM Jul 11