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Promises and Popsicles; A sonnet
Topic Started: Wednesday, 26. January 2011, 04:35 (171 Views)
Warrior Poet
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If you lead me, I will go.
My Asian Film Of The Day today was The Place Promised In Our Early Days. It was totally different than most of the anime I watch. There was barely any action at all and the story moved really slowly. It made fun of lots of anime cliche by having a though-provoking plot but utterly one-sided characters. But there was one scene, a sunset, that really affected me. I couldn't find a screenshot of it, sorry. It was a sunset with the sun shining behind the monolith and it was just a beautiful piece of art. This has very little to do with the movie's actual plot, lol. Just the artwork. It was relaxing, actually.

Also, anyone who's ever watched any anime at all should probably know why I named it what I did. I decided to write it as a Shakespearean sonnet even though it was based on an Asian film. 10 syllables a line, 14 lines, iambic pentameter. I actually messed up the rhyme scheme, but I'm glad with the way it turned out.
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Smooth shining waves call home into the sea
Two brothers grieve as their hearts come undone
Losing steadfast tears, gleaming eyes of tea
Remember her gaze, its warmth like the sun
Both lost in the chorus, rocks and the foam
Hearts long to hold long-forgotten dreams
Popsicles and promises became home
Hurt far too long, they yearn to be redeemed
She's still asleep three aching years from then
Their lives have betrayed them so many times
But sorry's what made these boys into men
Such great love demands a tower to climb
Against every fate, one takes to the skies
Finally deep memories open her eyes
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James
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it's all cool
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Both lost in the chorus, rocks and the foam
Hearts long to hold long-forgotten dreams
Popsicles and promises became home
Hurt far too long, they yearn to be redeemed

This part was my favorite. mostly because it said 'popsicles...
It's really pretty and flows nicely. And is sort of sad, but the true sadness of it evaporates a little bit with the rhyme scheme. It tells a story, and a good one at that, and if we still had the rep button, you'd be getting +1. :) Good work. ^-^
To protect the world from devastation.
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Harket
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asian
That was.. amazingly beautiful. The first line drew me in straight away, and the rest just followed. The only weird bit was "gleaming eyes of tea." Strikes me as odd. I read it as "tears of tea", which i think sounds better so neverthemind. :)

Popsicles? Really? Just... why?

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But sorry's what made these boys into men
:) Yayy for boys to men!

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Against every fate, one takes to the skies
Finally deep memories open her eyes
And a striking ending to finish it off, complete with visual imageries and feeling, give it up for Promises and Popsicles!!! :D

'Twas beaut. Ily. <3
Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly.
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