Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Budding Writers!

If you're seeing this message, you are currently viewing the forum as a guest. You should register if you want to post. Unless you're a spam bot. Then you probably shouldn't.

Username:   Password:
Multiquote Multiquote
Add Reply
redacted; ....
Topic Started: Thursday, 3. February 2011, 18:05 (124 Views)
James
Member Avatar
it's all cool
redacted
Edited by James, Saturday, 3. February 2018, 04:21.
To protect the world from devastation.
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
mousely
Member Avatar
Lose.
That was weird...I'm not good at criticizing so I'll just say I liked it and run away..
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Jessie
Member Avatar
Hippohypocamputhalamus
Brilliant brilliant brilliant. Holy crap. Where did that even COME from? o.o *joins Pudgers*
Posted Image
2012 Poem of the Year - 2011 Best Poet
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Warrior Poet
Member Avatar
If you lead me, I will go.
The first stanza seemed to make sense within a love context, but it became clear this wasn't actually intended to make sense. But it's still pretty awesome.

So still assuming this is about love, how does that make you feel powerful? I do agree that ridiculous romanticism can make the world look a little blurry. I have no idea how it can be both blurry and focused sharper.

I can understand the other person's laugh sounding shiny - now this reminds me more of the Joker and Batman than Romeo and Juliet.

Eheheh. I'm sure this wasn't about Batman, but now that I look at it that way it's hilarious.

I have absolutely no idea what this is about now. Explain it? XD it's great but I don't totally get it.

For an even more dramatic effect, instead of using that dash, just stop in the middle of a thought. "And now I'll" and just leave it at that. that's even more annoying. Especially since that E is silent, "di-" doesn't mean much :P

Well, anyway. Freaky, and strangely coherent to Batman
Posted Image
Look carefully. There's something wrong with this picture.
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
James
Member Avatar
it's all cool
lol Not a love poem. :) A drug addiction poem, more or less. ^-^ Relevence to Batman still stands?
To protect the world from devastation.
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Harket
Member Avatar
asian
Haha, i guessed drugs right off the bat. :} This poem was a little - weird? Well, I dont really understand how your voice can be shiny. :P I liked the night trust; whatever, and the monster in the mirror bit, but my ABSOLUTE FAV was the Fire bit. The ending struck me a little... queer, but it wasnt impactful enough. I know right, ME telling YOU this? Yea, right. But w'ver. :) It WAS, i guess, a good poem, but it wasnt one of my favs :/ Sorry, but hey, it WAS still good. :)
Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly.
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
James
Member Avatar
it's all cool
Voices can be shiny. Trust me... You've never been heavily drugged, have you? :) Voices can be shiny.
To protect the world from devastation.
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
mousely
Member Avatar
Lose.
Voices can SOOO be shiny. Owait I'm supposed to be hiding. :P
Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
DealsFor.me - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you
« Previous Topic · Poems · Next Topic »
Add Reply

Theme from Zathyus Networks and edited by Phovos