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Rest Your Eyes, Pretty Girl
Topic Started: Thursday, 3. February 2011, 22:51 (189 Views)
Warrior Poet
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If you lead me, I will go.
So the Snowpocalypse is going on and where I live, I probably have five times more than all of you, too :D. But I was watching the snowdrifts while I was walking home, and so there was a lot of fresh snow AND a lot of wind it was really serene, this nice thick sparkly dust playing across the gently curving crystal ground, and all that. I thank God for that beauty, and the friend this is for. She's dear to me. Wrote this down :)

I now have some semblance of a band, and I hope we can put it to music. I have a melody in mind, hopefully it comes out.
------------------------------
Rest Your Eyes, Pretty Girl

Snow drifts, silent, caress the gradual curves
Patience sparkles as finally restlessness becomes
That slow-breathing warmth of a bright winter day

You needn't sew yourself together

For today we wait to smell the earth
Feel its touch and plant our dreams, for now
For while we wait to smell the earth, it's cold

A heart only blossoms in a season of warmth
Hold out hope, I know, that as constant as the spring
Turns to lift the frost, you will find love

How it hurts to watch you looking
--
Must you wander
Break such fragile beauty
Your footprints mar the curve
Of an endless rolling earth
--
Rest your eyes
Pretty girl
Dare to sink into the snow
It's just one more day
Just one more season
And the white will keep you warm

Realize that the ice holds beauty
The cool might heal your fear
It storms through the night, with each new sun
You dig up your heart once more

Realize that the world holds beauty
Realize that the world holds love
Not just in your heart but in every star
Each far-off adventure and desolate world
The sky is too vast for your gaze
Reflections of light will glance off the surface
--
Like glass and like water
The sunset burns your eyes
And still you're searching

Oh, like all other wanderers
You know that life inside was once your own
Why do you give your love to the lost?

There are endless snowflakes
From the great clouds
Maybe two were born the same

Must you break such fragile beauty

Rest your eyes
Pretty girl
Have faith in knowing
Rain brings growing
Leave this quest behind

Rest your eyes
Pretty girl
Edited by Warrior Poet, Thursday, 3. February 2011, 22:51.
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James
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it's all cool
This is nice, very pretty.

Some of the ideas in them have been done often, but it's nicely presented here, in a unique way.

The general language helps to set the tone. Honestly, it sounds dated, but timeless.

Quote:
 
Hold out hope, I know, that as constant as the spring
Turns to lift the frost, you will find love


Reading through, I saw this as the general theme? It didn't stick out the most, but it just seemed to sum everything up nicely.

This is really just a curiosity but:
Quote:
 
There are endless snowflakes
From the great clouds
Maybe two were born the same

Is it saying:
"There are endless snowflakes from the great clouds. Maybe two were born the same."
or
"There are endless snowflakes. From the great clouds, maybe two were born the same."
or is it one of those take it as you will phrases?

Your personification is fluent, metaphors constant...

Another thing that I don't understand after the second break, first stanza, last line-- how can the white, which I'm taking as snow, keep one warm? I'm probably thinking too literally, but it doesn't make sense to me.

:) Good work, I like this one. If you do turn this into a song, I'd love to hear it. :D Will it be metal or not?

(Also, I'd love to have all the snow instead all of this ice.)
To protect the world from devastation.
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