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| RIP; More messing around huzzah | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Friday, 4. February 2011, 19:52 (69 Views) | |
| Jessie | Friday, 4. February 2011, 19:52 Post #1 |
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Hippohypocamputhalamus
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Rip Rip like that was A rip like That was not a rip Like that was not a rip but Smoke and a gun and that was Like a rip but smoke and guns And that was not a rip but smoke and guns and Bloody bullets rip like that Was not a rip but smoke and guns and bloody Bullets rip like that was not a rip And I couldn’t tell the difference when I passed to Hell Couldn’t tell the difference from the Rip like that was not a rip and Satan and the smoke and guns And bloody bullets and my heart is only iron. |
![]() 2012 Poem of the Year - 2011 Best Poet | |
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| mousely | Friday, 4. February 2011, 20:28 Post #2 |
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Lose.
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I read it three times...but I don't get it. I'm trying to understand it...but I don't. I like it, but I don't understand it. lol. |
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| Jessie | Friday, 4. February 2011, 20:34 Post #3 |
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Hippohypocamputhalamus
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Linguistically, I made it deliberately confusing by using a sort of sequential pattern for the first few lines, and offsetting where the phrase started. One, One, two One, two, three One, two, three, four One, One, two, one Two, three Four, one, two, Three etc. As for what it's actually about, it's about war.
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![]() 2012 Poem of the Year - 2011 Best Poet | |
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| mousely | Friday, 4. February 2011, 20:38 Post #4 |
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Lose.
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Oooh I get it now.
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| Warrior Poet | Saturday, 5. February 2011, 03:03 Post #5 |
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If you lead me, I will go.
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Nice. I really like your literary experimentation with these. I just did a sonnet, but maybe I should do something even weirder. Have you ever heard of L.A.N.G.U.A.G.E. poetry? I think you'd like it, a lot. |
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Look carefully. There's something wrong with this picture. | |
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| Harket | Saturday, 5. February 2011, 05:31 Post #6 |
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asian
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... i so fail. I dont get it at all. But hey, judging from the others, its pretty good. I think.
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| Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly. | |
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2:29 PM Jul 11