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2012: Descent of Darkness Prologue; Warning: violence, bad language.
Topic Started: Saturday, 5. February 2011, 10:44 (223 Views)
Literacy Maniac
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Right. Well, I'm taking on a novel - and I mean it. As you can see, it's going to be called 2012: Descent of Darkness, and it's going to be the first part of a trilogy I will simply call 2012. It's basically a story of the 2012 myth with a twist - the Greek pantheon. I hope this is not going to be like Percy Jackson or Anodyne Sea, but if it is, it is purely coincidental. However, I do apologise in advance for any similarities.

The prologue I have here is written from the perspective of Hebe and Zeus. Hebe's perspective serves as an introduction of sorts, while both Zeus's and hers serve as descriptions of the setting in motion of the events of the story. Let's go.

Prologue: Hebe, Zeus
It is breakfast. I come from the kitchen into the hall to serve the ambrosia and nectar as usual. For some reason, it never gets tiring.

I serve eleven of the Twelve without question, and they thank me in low voices. But when I come to the last, my mother, I pause. As has become custom, I ask her, while everybody watches for whatever reason, “Do you want anything?”

I have asked this same question for years now. It’s a necessary part of the procedures now, and a part we are all used to.

Mother raises her head, and looks at me.

Looking at her, I remember the first face I saw when I first opened my eyes. We do not forget anything, us deities.

Father and all the others often speak to me of the beauty she had possessed so many years ago, when she married Father, and gave birth to me, Ares, Eileithyia, Enyo, Hephaestus, and Eris. They speak to me of it when she had possessed it. They speak of it often. Aphrodite, a great judge of beauty, says only she could compare to Mother when Mother was still beautiful.

When I opened my eyes for the first time, I was in my mother’s arms. I saw a bloodstained, weary, but smiling face, framed by long, brilliant black hair, that hung in curls past my vision. Her skin was pale, even more so from the labour, but it still looked… nice somehow. She had brown irises with massive amounts of warmth in them. When she stood erect again, two days later, I could see she was tall and slender, with an enviable physique.

Over the years, though, it faded.

Now she is only beautiful by her very nature. Her hair is straggling, thin, shorter, barely black at all, and the curls are only just there. Mother’s skin is sallow now; I haven’t seen a drop of blood in her face for years. The brown shade of her irises has diluted into something more murky, and all the warmth is gone, replaced by visible misery. She is still tall, but extremely thin; her physique is no longer desirable.

“Yes, both the ambrosia and the nectar - and large amounts of both too, please,” Mother responds. My eyes widen, but I do as I am told.

I see the others exchanging glances. Father raises one eyebrow.

We are used to Mother’s lack of appetite. The last time she asked for a large meal was over a century ago.

I serve her, and then take my place.

Breakfast is a noisy event, as usual. Mother is the only one who doesn’t talk; in fact, she seems to be a little distracted. I don’t ask what’s bothering her, though - she’s been private for years and would never tell.

Once breakfast is over, everybody hands me their plates and glasses. My eyes widen again as I notice everything has been eaten and drunk - it seems like Mother ate everything I gave her. I start to make my way out of the hall, but pause to look at Mother. She still looks distracted with her eyes flickering all over the place, and as usual, is having difficulty getting up. Her not eating has weakened her over the centuries.

Then I see Father place his hand on Mother’s shoulder, and roughly jerk her up.

I flee before I have to see any more.

I dash down the corridors towards the kitchen. Once there, I clean everything and put it all away, as normal. Then I plod back towards the main hall, hoping that by the time I get there Father or Mother would have left.

I fight tears the whole way.

I hate seeing Father abuse Mother like that. Everybody does except him. As if she weren’t already hurt by the centuries of cheating. Though he’s my father, I feel free to call him adulterous, narcissistic, and abusive behind his back. She has never publicly stated it, but everybody except for Father believes that his abuse and infidelity and her excessive remorse over her past transgressions even after she was forgiven are what sent her spiralling into her depression.

As I approach the hall, I hear shrieking and yelling; an argument. I enter the hall unwillingly and turn my head in the direction of the argument, noting Mother’s absence.

Athena and Father are the ones arguing, and everyone present is watching. I cower against the wall. It is never pretty when either of them argue.

“I don’t understand why you think you have the liberty to treat her as you so please; she deserves respect and kindness, particularly in the state she’s in now!” Athena screams at Father.

I cringe. So it’s about his jerking Mother up.

“Why should it matter to you?” Father roars.

That does it.

I sink to the floor and let the tears flow over my face.

For the moment, nobody notices my crying. They are all too shocked by what Father has just said. I am shocked, too. The entire room is stunned into silence. I see Athena’s jaw hanging open. Several pairs of eyes have widened. Some are leaning away from Father, some are exchanging glances. Some are simply frozen in disbelief.

How could Father have said such a cruel thing as that?

I almost want to start screaming at him myself, but I don’t. I am so scared and horrified, I can’t move.

I sneak a peek at Athena.

She is recovering from the shock, but another emotion entirely is crossing her face: pure, pure fury. Her face reddens, her hands ball up into fist, the skin stretches over her muscles, she grinds her teeth, and her brow furrows. I shy away from this physical display of rage and lean against the wall. But that doesn’t help what comes next.

Suddenly, Athena is screeching so loudly, the room trembles. Red spots appear in her eyes as her screaming breaks blood vessels. The others place their hands over their ears. Athena’s words are flying across the room at Father like knives designed to cut his brain. They are designed to make him have an epiphany, to make him see how horrible he’s been, and to make him deeply apologetic. They fail, though I am sure they shock him.

“YOU - YOU - YOU taukie! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?”

She continues to rant, but now I am so petrified I feel the blood drain out of my face. I begin to sob loudly, attracting attention to me.

Athena pauses to look at me.

“Ares, Demeter, Aphrodite - get Hebe out of here NOW!” she orders, dropping her volume slightly.

They nod and run over to me, while Athena resumes her raving. Father is unable to get a word in, then again, I doubt he could, he is quite frozen.

Demeter picks me up and I place my head on her shoulder. They start running down the corridors; I believe they are taking me to my room. They run so fast that soon I cannot hear the shouting, and I begin to calm down. I am still sniffling, though, when Demeter puts me down on a bed. I look around. I am definitely in my room.

Aphrodite and Demeter sit down next to me. “Are you alright, Hebe?” Aphrodite asks gently.

I nod.

“I - don’t think the screaming is wrong though. He deserves it,” I force out.

“He does, doesn’t he?” Demeter agrees sharply. The anger in her voice at my father is apparent.

“What a swine, treating your mother like that for millennia and then having the gall to ask why it should matter to us,” Ares growls.

Everybody nods.

“I hate him treating Mother that way, particularly in her current state. She did nothing that should be a cause for his behaviour, at least nothing that I’m aware of. Respect isn’t a hard thing to give,” I say determinedly.

The door opens. Mother stands in the entrance. She does not look upset, though the misery is even more evident in her eyes. I notice a bandage around her shoulder, and wince. It seems Father hurt her more than I thought.

“To work, Aphrodite,” she says coldly, not seeming to notice me.

“Yes, Hera,” Aphrodite responds. She gets up, and follows Mother out of the room, shooting me a quick backward glance.

Demeter and Ares get up and leave, too.

I sigh. I wonder if I should talk to Father about this. It’s obvious Mother’s depression is just getting worse.

~

Early in the morning the next day, I rise from my bed and head out into the gardens to clear my head. I am still quite shocked at what happened yesterday. Athena’s scathing words ring clear in my head as I walk down the halls. Even in my head, they are the same volume as they were yesterday, for the only sound that can be heard is that of my heavy footsteps. The floors, the walls, the roof - everything around me is made of smooth light grey marble.

Our home’s exterior is made of more, pure white marble. It is a large, rectangular building with many turrets and towers rising high above it. Some of them act as bedrooms; the highest tower is my room, the second highest is Hera’s. From here, I can see the closed purple curtain of Hera’s bedroom. My curtain is a brilliant red colour far too flashy for Hera’s taste; she always preferred low key shades.

Normally, the lushness and quietness of the gardens calms me down, but today it does not. The gardens are very green, with all sorts of flowers and plants springing up everywhere, from jasmine to ferns to roses to massive trees, mostly yew, to everything you could ever think of. The ambrosia comes from here, from a section enclosed by a tall wrought-iron gate only Hebe, and very occasionally someone else, can get through.

That is the only thing I definitely can’t do most of the time. Occasionally I go in there to get myself a snack, but usually I just wait for the meals. And if I do want to go in, then I have to ask Hebe to unlock the gate. It is all a very frustrating process for someone as impatient as I can be. That’s another reason I rarely venture in there; I just can’t be bothered to wait at the best of times.

… why you think you have the liberty to treat her as you so please…

The sight of that section reminds me of Athena’s words. I shudder remembering the massive tantrum she threw because I pulled Hera up. So perhaps I pulled a little too hard - she did put a bandage on afterwards - but why does it matter to her? I could have been trying to help for all she knows. Although, considering I rarely ever pulled her up, let alone that roughly… but still…

Everybody knows I am free to do what I bloody well please. I haven’t done anything to change that since I’d taken control. So why did Athena throw a tantrum because I was doing whatever I wanted to do?

I wander around the gardens until breakfast time, and I can’t find an answer. I puzzle over it all the way to my seat, but put it on the backburner as ten of the Twelve file in.

Ten of the Twelve.

Ten of the Twelve.

Where is Hera?

They seem to be wondering where she is as well; she always comes into the hall with the others. This is new.

They sit down and we chat quietly among ourselves, our eyes constantly flickering to the entrance. Hebe brings us our ambrosia and nectar, and still Hera is not there. We finish, and still she is not there. We wait for ten odd minutes, and still Hera does not come running out, flustered and apologising for being late.

Athena frowns after a while. “I’ll go look in her room,” she tells us, before running off through the doorway.

We sit in silence for a couple of minutes, before hearing the most terrible commotion.

A scream echoes down from Hera’s tower all the way to the hall we are in, a scream so loud that it claws at my eardrums. I shiver while the others moan and look horrified. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Hebe burying her face in her hands. None of us have ever heard such a loud scream. Even Athena’s shrieking yesterday could not compare to the scream we have just heard.

The scream is quickly followed by an intense, equally as loud sobbing. The sobbing quickly gets louder and louder, and I can hear running. Finally, it is so loud I have to block my ears. To my disgust, my hands quickly become covered in blood - the noise is so loud it’s made my ears bleed. And it looks like I’m not the only one; everybody else has red in their ears.

Then Athena comes charging into the room.

Anybody can tell she is the source of all the noise.

“ATHENA, TURN IT DOWN!” Dionysius shouts.

She catches her breath and slowly, but surely, turns down the volume. I remove my hands from my ears and find I am shaking.

“What did you find? Anything?” Poseidon asks, a scowl upon his countenance.

Athena nods.

“One note,” she says.

“Read it!” Apollo implores.

She nods, raises the note to her face, and speaks.

“I suppose that since I cannot find any love among you, the supposed paragons of godhood, and since it is insane to tolerate spending an eternity being abused, I should go and find another home. 2012 is here, and I have heard it is supposed to be the end of the world this year. Perhaps I can find a way to circumvent that, and give you back your followers. I don’t care what happens among you if I am killed in the process. You never cared, after all. Tit for tat. Don’t bother looking for me, since I’ll always recognise you, and always know you are there; and let’s hope whatever evil that convinced the Maya and us that 2012 is the year the world ends doesn’t sneak in to your bedrooms at night and kill you while you sleep. The lap of luxury is not always the best place to stay. Hera.

“It’s in her handwriting, too.”

The note is so biting I feel the hairs prickling on my neck.

I don’t even think about what she said about 2012. The acerbity of the note is the only thing I notice.

I don’t even notice the reactions of the others.

I do notice, though, when the whole room dissolves into chaos.

~
Edited by Literacy Maniac, Tuesday, 8. February 2011, 09:53.
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Hey! How dare you use Percy Jackson and Anodyne Sea in the same sentence! :P

So far it does seem pretty different from my story. Did you read that, or did you just know it was a mythology story?

Anyway, I'm still confused about who the speaker's mom is. You revealed it was Hebe, and that's good, but at the beginning I actually thought it was Eros. I never did think of the gods having perfect memory, remembering their birth - very nice touch with that, making the world a little more real. I'm not sure whether this is going to be a tragic thing or sarcastically hilarious, but I think I'll like it either way.

Of course the characters of the gods are certainly open for interpretation, but make sure you keep tradition. For example, Prometheus has been portrayed as a coward, a noble warrior, an angel of fire, a Satanist hero/role model, and a strong, wise, benevolent figure like he was in Anodyne Sea. Zeus can be fun too. Just make sure you keep the more defined ones consistent - Ares is almost always considered a coward.

Zeus actually can do whatever he wants. I know that's no fun at all, but he is supposed to be the strongest god there is.

Isn't it weird for a son to talk about how "desirable" his mom is? lol.

taukie? What was the original swear word? lol.

So the writing was pretty good. Straight to the point, told us the real important stuff. But the devil's in the details, and we're in a fantasy world. What does Olympus look like? What's it smell like? I know I didn't get time to do as much of this as I wanted with Olympus in Anodyne Sea, but I made sure to get the trees and mountain and all that.

The world needs to be believable before the character's reactions to it can be. You especially need to make me care about this world and at least a few people in it if you're going to destroy it. (it is a 2012 thing, haha). You have plenty of time to do this since this is going to be fairly long, but try and start right away. I know my beginning to Anodyne Sea was sort of out-there, too.

I do appreciate the long exposition, letting us get to know the characters. I do that a lot. But I don't know much about the characters yet - so jump into the story, or deepen the exposition. Either way I'll be reading your next chapter :)
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Saturday, 5. February 2011, 21:43
Hey! How dare you use Percy Jackson and Anodyne Sea in the same sentence! :P

So far it does seem pretty different from my story. Did you read that, or did you just know it was a mythology story?

Anyway, I'm still confused about who the speaker's mom is. You revealed it was Hebe, and that's good, but at the beginning I actually thought it was Eros. I never did think of the gods having perfect memory, remembering their birth - very nice touch with that, making the world a little more real. I'm not sure whether this is going to be a tragic thing or sarcastically hilarious, but I think I'll like it either way.

Of course the characters of the gods are certainly open for interpretation, but make sure you keep tradition. For example, Prometheus has been portrayed as a coward, a noble warrior, an angel of fire, a Satanist hero/role model, and a strong, wise, benevolent figure like he was in Anodyne Sea. Zeus can be fun too. Just make sure you keep the more defined ones consistent - Ares is almost always considered a coward.

Zeus actually can do whatever he wants. I know that's no fun at all, but he is supposed to be the strongest god there is.

Isn't it weird for a son to talk about how "desirable" his mom is? lol.

taukie? What was the original swear word? lol.

So the writing was pretty good. Straight to the point, told us the real important stuff. But the devil's in the details, and we're in a fantasy world. What does Olympus look like? What's it smell like? I know I didn't get time to do as much of this as I wanted with Olympus in Anodyne Sea, but I made sure to get the trees and mountain and all that.

The world needs to be believable before the character's reactions to it can be. You especially need to make me care about this world and at least a few people in it if you're going to destroy it. (it is a 2012 thing, haha). You have plenty of time to do this since this is going to be fairly long, but try and start right away. I know my beginning to Anodyne Sea was sort of out-there, too.

I do appreciate the long exposition, letting us get to know the characters. I do that a lot. But I don't know much about the characters yet - so jump into the story, or deepen the exposition. Either way I'll be reading your next chapter :)
I had to. What's wrong with that?

I've read snippets of it. The second I saw the words Percy Jackson I knew it was a mythology story.

Hebe's mum is Hera. Most of the story is going to be told from Hera's perspective, but when she's having her... visions, of sorts, the story will switch to third person. In other words, extremely confusing.

It isn't meant to be hilarious. It's supposed to be slightly tragic, but the real emotions I want to convey are betrayal and fear - for this one anyway.

Ares, the God of WAR, a coward? How in the world is that possible? Also, I wasn't trying to make him brave or anything. The comment on Zeus was supposed to be more anger than anything. Not bravery.

So that was wrongly worded. I'll take that into consideration. It's quite insane that he can do whatever he so pleases, but if that's the story, then that's the story.

This is Hebe. And desirable is just another synonym for enviable. She doesn't think of her mother that way.

Sag with an l between the s and the a.

I didn't really describe Olympus because the setting's in the main hall, not outside. But I could have described the hall, couldn't I?

Don't worry, the story will be set in Earth before long.

The next thing you'll be reading is the other half of the prologue. I haven't done Zeus's perspective yet.

Thanks! :)
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Ares was more like the god of bloodlust. He was generally a whiny, howling and screaming whenever he was wounded, and never fought alone. Athena was the goddess of strategy and honor and wisdom and all the "noble" parts of war.

The AS/percy jackson thing was a joke. And it wasn't a joke at you, either :P Looking forward to the rest.
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Oh.

OK then.

Zeus? What do the myths portray him as?
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Updated.
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