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| RoGUEs | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thursday, 31. March 2011, 23:43 (229 Views) | |
| Swift | Thursday, 31. March 2011, 23:43 Post #1 |
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I AM SWIFTEH! I LIKE CHEESE!
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Finally thought of a new story. I probably won't post the first chapter until I finish it. ... yeah. Plot- After a meteorite crashed onto Mars... it gave life to it. Gave it heat... it moved in orbit with the Earth, Mars is always at the other end of the sun where Earth is at the other. After scientist found out about this 'change' in life. The US military made an Special Obs group known as the RoGUEs, to investigate. Is Mars the safest place? Or not? ... yeah
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STORIES IN THE WORKS: The story of Wyatt Holt | |
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| Dissonant | Friday, 1. April 2011, 00:10 Post #2 |
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GOD
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Lol I was hoping for you to continue your starcraft one.
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| Warrior Poet | Friday, 1. April 2011, 00:22 Post #3 |
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If you lead me, I will go.
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That sounds pretty interesting. The situation is totally impossible scientifically, but it could still turn out to be interesting! Show us what you've got. |
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| Swift | Friday, 1. April 2011, 02:03 Post #4 |
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I wish it would be possible. ![]() I'll be working on this a little tonight and tomorrow. Expect a Chapter by SUnday. :] Or monday, or Tuesday, I never really have time. Edited by Swift, Friday, 1. April 2011, 03:44.
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STORIES IN THE WORKS: The story of Wyatt Holt | |
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| Swift | Tuesday, 5. April 2011, 02:38 Post #5 |
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How is this for the first 2 paragraphs I finished?? xDDD R.o.G.U.E.s A rumbling shook Earth...it was just turning into Dusk. A visible crack on the Moon appeared, debris from the crack fell to Earth, crushing small buildings and large houses. Men protected their children and loves. Mothers protecting their children. Cars flipped over, people tumbled. But while this was happening in the US, Mexico, and Centeral America. A team of scientist at the seas witnessed this, they looked up at the sky and saw the moon... cracked. The waves stopped moving faster and stronger by the second. But next to it was another green planet... with a hint of red... There was only one soulution; Mars, no planet would fly in that close to us. It's said for Mars to even possible go close to Earth.. but not that close. The boat calmed to a steady stop. They saw the planet... green, coated with white clouds and blue...water. The hint of red made it obvious it was Mars. eh eh?? |
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STORIES IN THE WORKS: The story of Wyatt Holt | |
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| Harket | Tuesday, 5. April 2011, 11:39 Post #6 |
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asian
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Maybe "men protected their LOVED ONES" ? Also, your tense is a little off. The part about Mars... there was a little too much mention of the word "Mars". You kept kept kept repeating it over and over... which made it sound awkward. Basically, the only problem with this is the grammer/ tenses. The general idea of the whole story is totally awesome though. ![]() Meh. All your story ideas are actually rather fantastic. Good work! |
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| Swift | Tuesday, 5. April 2011, 21:18 Post #7 |
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like Past tense?? eh o.o but remember this is only draft stage.. ![]() only uploading the draft ones 'til I fix 'em. That is I'll upload the story as one file all fixed... otherwise thank you
Edited by Swift, Tuesday, 5. April 2011, 21:21.
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STORIES IN THE WORKS: The story of Wyatt Holt | |
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| James | Friday, 8. April 2011, 14:43 Post #8 |
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it's all cool
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Interesting, interesting. You have a lot of mechanics issues, but otherwise it's generally clear. (if you want me to go through and point out all the mechanics stuff, then lemme know, otherwise I'll leave that to you when you're second-drafting it :D) Nice concept. Moar? |
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| Swift | Saturday, 9. April 2011, 14:23 Post #9 |
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If i cud get moa' taim, Par. ![]() then yersh, moa' is comin'. |
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