| Welcome to Budding Writers! If you're seeing this message, you are currently viewing the forum as a guest. You should register if you want to post. Unless you're a spam bot. Then you probably shouldn't. |
| Colourblind; Nano 2011/2012 | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sunday, 1. July 2012, 14:14 (197 Views) | |
| Harket | Sunday, 1. July 2012, 14:14 Post #1 |
![]()
asian
|
Colourblind: 2011 Hello! Okay so I just found my NaNo 2011 novel, Colourblind. When I read through it, the tense and grammatical mistakes made me wonder who in the world wrote it. Uhhh I only managed about 10,000 words, so this year I'll be attempting the remainder of it, plus brushing up on the (really bad) initial 10,000. Yeah, call me a cheater, woteva I have school through the whole time + SYF prac + other stuff and therefore I cheating with a reason. ![]() 4 months to go! In that period, I will be writing *nothing* and will probably forget all about this. In the meanwhile, I am going to post some stuff yay whoopee and here you go, a prologue. I think I might have posted this before, but after I give the rest of it a check through and make sure there are no gaping grammatical errors, they'll follow suit. (or I might abandon this, more likely)Oh but first, enjoy a blurb. (Yaay) And I also have no idea if this story actually belongs in this category probably not whoops anyway COLOURBLIND; A NaNo novel. What would you do if There were colors all around you But all the colours and brightness Were lying? Melanie Blue Toogood is a normal, soon-to-be nineteen year old girl. Well, actually, she’s far from normal. One of the most popular kid in school, always the fun one to hang around – until one day she gets woken by voices in her head that don’t belong to her. And then strange things start happening – glimpses of grey in her sight, her friends starts getting a little too perfect and bright – and then a grey girl appears in her bedroom. That’s when her life starts to unravel. And as her ball of bright Blue yarn starts to grow smaller, and the distance to it starts to grow further, the Blue fades away, leaving nothing but grey. And Melanie Toogood disappears along with it. How long will it take for her to realize the vibrancy and brightness of her world do not exist, and everything, everyone she knows – including herself – is simply COLOURBLIND? Yaaaay it sounds really dramatic and cliche and by the way, I just found it it has EXACTLY the same plot as Spoiler: click to toggle but that was BEFORE i ever knew about them okay so. Also she doesn't get waken by voices in her head yet in the 10,000 words i have written. Will post when I update!
Edited by Harket, Thursday, 12. July 2012, 13:12.
|
| Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly. | |
View Profile |
|
| Harket | Saturday, 7. July 2012, 11:39 Post #2 |
![]()
asian
|
Hello I have not forgot, although you probably have. Chapter one. ![]() Colourblind: 2011 - Chapter1 Also I realize that it's a lot like Cow!s "happily Ever after", cuz mine has this odd girl in it too... like uh uh uh uh uh Polyster Lime. Or something... I apologize if the name is wrong! Anyway she kind of talks to the main character, too, and interestingly enough, has an odd colour about her, TOOtoo. But that's only because my entire story revolves around, well, colours.
|
| Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly. | |
View Profile |
|
| Dekky | Wednesday, 11. July 2012, 01:53 Post #3 |
|
The Rock Raptor
|
Interesting read there! I note that you stuck the prologue and chapter 1 into the same document; that was a relief for me because I didn't have to open two new windows. ![]() So the prologue's set in the 3000s, with a computer who 'discards' patients when necessary. I was a little confused when trying to look for a link between this and the events of chapter 1 (epicly echo-y house), but that's probably just me. I'm keen to see where this story goes.
|
|
This week: I am now taking requests! If you want me to model something for you on 'Art of Illusion,' just send me a message. If you'd like to see samples of my work, check out my Art Topic! (hint: it's in the Art forum) | |
View Profile |
|
| Harket | Wednesday, 11. July 2012, 10:36 Post #4 |
![]()
asian
|
Nope, it isn't you! There isn't a direct link... more of something you'll get when you read the rest ![]() Thanks for commenting! Ehhh I shall return the favour. :> Colourblind: 2011 - A little more And here's more! Not exactly a chapter, but just a little something something.
|
| Birds don't like to fly, they have to fly. | |
View Profile |
|
| Sfabulous | Wednesday, 11. July 2012, 13:33 Post #5 |
![]()
Sleepy Kat
|
I remember this ![]() Great prologue! It does very well to confuse me with sciency jargon, which was realistic enough. The description of the computer is well thought-through, and the phrase "all reports are recorded" just sounds beautifully dystopian. Clever use of the narrator's voice, and good ending to the segment. You've succeeded in creating an effective hook! Technical issues (well issue really): "Sedated and discarded of." You discard something, not discard of something. Consider "disposed of". I don't have much to say about One. Girl behaviour, I'm assuming you've pinnedkit down just fine ![]() The Narrator's introduction caught me completely off guard. I did not expect that after reading the blurb, or the prologue, which altogether suggested a bleaker story. The Narrator's levity is certainly unique, and I'm interested to see where you go with that. What I'm even more interested in are the Narrator's more serious notes. I love the concept of introducing information in asides like that, it makes for a very refreshing read. Markus Zusak's The Book Thief does this amazingly, albeit in shorter notes, and your piece immediately reminded me o |
![]()
| |
View Profile |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Sci-Fi / Fantasy · Next Topic » |




Uhhh I only managed about 10,000 words, so this year I'll be attempting the remainder of it, plus brushing up on the (really bad) initial 10,000. Yeah, call me a cheater, woteva I have school through the whole time + SYF prac + other stuff and therefore I cheating with a reason.


But that's only because my entire story revolves around, well, colours.






2:08 PM Jul 11