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so put your hands down my pants, and I bet you'll feel nuts

Here are some of mine:

Internet morons who use things like u and plz and other such shorthands, as well as replace letters with numbers and use like a million exclamation marks per sentence. Learn how to type properly, dipshits! Gah...

Well ok, that's just one, but I don't feel like mentioning any more.
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"And the moral of the story is, keep your fucking mouth shut."

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List the Things You Hate · Natter