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| "Like the Moon"; My first LoveHina fanfic | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 2 2004, 06:28 PM (52 Views) | |
| Wolfie | Dec 2 2004, 06:28 PM Post #1 |
 
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http://www.animeb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1170 There it is....it isn´t finished yet,but I do update regularly. It is slightly ecchi in places so if anyone is offended by such they should perhaps refrain from reading it.....not that I believe anyone here has anything against a little ecchiness  .I am sure Hinarei and BobCat can recommend it, at least I hope they will :rolleyes: . Please R&R! |
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Ultimate sap sop and Motoko lover I admit to being pretty useless on msn >.<, I like talking over forums alot more  http://s9.invisionfree.com/Azumanga_Daioh_...dex.php?act=idx <- Azumanga Forum   
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| hinarei | Dec 2 2004, 11:21 PM Post #2 |
Defender of MolMol
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it's definitely got a good shape so far... I advise people to read this and try and give Wolfie the benefits of all your fanfic experience to help him make a better fic. It r0x. but....hmm... needs more Su... 
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*Su waits til Tama has children before she eats her* "I'm not evil, I'm just hungry!" Kaolla Suu, ah wish ye were whisky, ah would drink ye dry!  Thanks Ariel!! 
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| Wolfie | Dec 2 2004, 11:38 PM Post #3 |
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Heh,it already has some Suu....more than most of the others chars at least.....but  is wonderful.....and any relationship of Motokos gets as a sidecourse
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Ultimate sap sop and Motoko lover I admit to being pretty useless on msn >.<, I like talking over forums alot more http://s9.invisionfree.com/Azumanga_Daioh_...dex.php?act=idx <- Azumanga Forum
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| hinarei | Dec 2 2004, 11:45 PM Post #4 |
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Defender of MolMol
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<_< sidecourse... Well, guess we can live with that. going great guns, Wolf-kun! |
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*Su waits til Tama has children before she eats her* "I'm not evil, I'm just hungry!" Kaolla Suu, ah wish ye were whisky, ah would drink ye dry! Thanks Ariel!!
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| Nightmare | Dec 3 2004, 05:58 AM Post #5 |
I'm sorry!
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You could post it here too... if you want to, of course
(Don't really have time to read it now...) |
| I deeply and sincerely apologize! Can ya'll forgive me? | |
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| hinarei | Dec 3 2004, 12:58 PM Post #6 |
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Defender of MolMol
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yeah, why the heck not?
get copypastin'! :lol: Night... there's pages and pages of the stuff  ... might take a while. Do watcha can, Wolfie! |
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*Su waits til Tama has children before she eats her* "I'm not evil, I'm just hungry!" Kaolla Suu, ah wish ye were whisky, ah would drink ye dry! Thanks Ariel!!
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| Wolfie | Dec 3 2004, 09:13 PM Post #7 |
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Hmm,don´t need copypasting,I got it separated in differnet txt documents,one for each chapter
Ok,I´ll post the prologue and chapter 1......then you shall have to tell me if you want more |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Disclaimer:I do not own Love Hina,if I did Motoko would be mine,but sadly.....she isn´t......I do however own the character Brendi........ This is my first fanfiction,I won´t reveal anything much here,but I will say one thing..... It features another character,I know you probably don´t like that,but please read through the first chapters and maybe I can change your mind. Now I have been writing and posting this on a forum for a little while,so I have written about 20.000 words already,but I´ll post it bit by bit for now,if just for keeping you on your toes  Since this is my first fic you will probably notice as you read on that my writing style isn´t very good at first, but I get better and my latest chapters are alot better than these first ones. Prologue: Time of history:Late spring after Keitaro and Naru came back from Mol-Mol. That spring Motoko failed her exams a second time. After failing Motoko felt distanced from the others, and she hasn´t been the same since. To the other residents it looked like her obvious attraction to Keitaro lessened,but Motoko felt disgusted with herself and didn´t feel like she was worthy of Urashima,so she stopped pursuing that goal.But even if she has added to the distance once more,Motoko still cares for Urashima, and she curses herself for it. Now a few months has passed and this is the normal routine of the Hinata-Sou. This is how it all starts! A little description of the new char:Brendi Urashima: One of keitaros father´s flings ended up in a child with a partner of seta´s. An accident occurs and his mother dies, Brendi was temporarily adopted by Seta who had suspected who the father was. After showing up at the Urashimas doorstock Keitaros father accept the baby after some argument. Yet later on the same day he leaves the kid outside an adoption bureau with the nametag "Urashima Brendi". Now Brendi is 17 and he has found his family again. Because his mother was of scandinavian origin she named him thereafter. Brendi is 185 cm tall so he stands out among the japanese, he has neck long brown hair and brown eyes. He does not have the eyes of a japanese either. Filled with anger at his unfair treatment Brendi has never actually thought that much of what he would say to his family as he confronted them, but after a loud discussion with his father he was told he had a brother called Keitaro, that owned an inn. Brendi looked Keitaro up. And now he stands outside the Hinata Sou prepared to meet his brother. A day in spring when the sakura flowers are falling gently from the trees, Maehara Shinobu is hanging up the laundry to dry. She humms a soft tune and goes about it with the expertise of someone who have done the task many times before. About to go inside she sees someone standing outside the front of the building. It is a very tall young man with a blue bag wearing a green sweatshirt and black trousers. Somewhat frightened of this person she, grabs her basket and run down to tell the others. Standing outside the huge building Urashima Brendi is feeling somewhat intimidated by the whole situation. If he could convince his brother that he was who he said he was he could probably stay in this massive inn. If not.......it would be back on the road, stealing whatever food available. Because with 2000 yen he wouldn´t be able to do much. Then from the back of the house comes a loud ruccus, like a hundred metallic feet trampling everything in their way. From the corner of his eye Brendi notices something at great speed.Flinging himself forward he barely avoids being hit by a rocket. Turning his head he is confronted by an apparition of utter technology. A tanned girl with blond hair in a school uniform on top off a massive metal-turtle is charging him while screaming: "NYA-HA-HA-HA." Every muscle in Brendis body freezes, and hopelessnes creeps up his spine while he is thinking. `Is this how it is supposed to end? Will this be the end of my bastard existence?Will I never experience a woman?´ When it is three feet away the turtle stops and the girl jumps off going. " Scared ya!" Still unable to say anything Brendi just mopes. After a second or two of moping the tanned girl runs inside yelling: Everybody! We got a visitor!" ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ Chapter 1:"Brother" Running down the corridor is Shinobu thinking about why anyone male would come to Hinata-Sou?Could it be that it is a peeping tom? "OH!,I have to tell the others about that person!.Sempai!" Coming down the stairs she sees Keitaro sitting in the lobby,with a strangely tall,young man. "He looks like sempai...." "Shinobu-chan,Shinobu-chan?Are,you alright?" "Ah?Y-yes,sempai.I´m fine.....Anno.....who is this person?" "Oh,yes.This seems to be my brother,Brendi.He might have to stay with us for a while" Brendi:Uhh.....Hi....... Suu comes into the room closely followed by Sarah,Kitsune,Motoko and Naru. Naru:Ok,now where is this peeping tom you spoke of Suu??? Suu:There he is!On the couch! Brendi:*waves his arms in front of himself*Oi,hey.....now I haven´t peeped on anyone! Keitaro:Hey,wait.This is my brother.......Urashima Brendi. Suu,Sarah,Naru,Kitsune and Motoko:HEEEEEH?? Brendi:Hmm.....Hi? Naru:Oh,hmm......you do resemble Keitaro abit......but how do we know you´re not just a fraud??Come to establish yourself here where you can peep and be lazy all you want,eh? Brendi:Well,how about you take a look at these papers or call my father,also Keitaros father,to confirm it,heh?! Motoko:Hey,now if you take a tone like that I don´t care if you´re this pervs brother! Brendi:Oh,so I am supposed to be protected by his being my brother?!Well if that is all that is preventing you from striking then go ahead,because I will not use that for an excuse preventing you to say and do whatever you feel to my face! Motoko:You asked for it *smile* SECRET ARTS:Zan... Keitaro:Hey,no wait Motok...... Kuusen! Brendi:*smile back* To everybodys astonishment,Brendi easily sidesteps the blow,which hits Keitaro instead sending him flying down the hall. "Huuuh?" Brendi:Nice strike,think that may be one of the best I´ve seen.Not good enough though. Motoko:Well,how about this then?! Haruka:Hey,stop that now Motoko.I don´t think you can afford to pay the damages can you? Motoko:Haruka-sempai......I am sorry.*turns and leaves* Keitaro:Ugh.....now,let me explain why Brendi is here. A little while later....... Haruka:So it was Keitaros father that nocked her up,eh? Brendi:Please do not speak of my mother like that. Keitaro:Hey,cool down......Now everybody,could you guys go along with him staying here a little while on probation? *Long silence* Kitsune:Ok,but only as long as he doesn´t try anything funny like you do all the time. Naru and the others nods. Brendi:And what would that be? Kitsune:Oh,you know.Peeping,ripping of our clothes,fall into the hotsprings while we use them,flash us your private parts and then peep some more. Brendi:Oh?......*looks sideways at Keitaro* Do you do all that stuff? Keitaro:Uhmm..well...yes,but not on purpose! Kitsune:*smirks* Or so you say...hehehe Keitaro:Hey,well.....moving on......You can stay in room 202,that is the room beside Shinobus Naru:Hey!How can you do that?We don´t know anything about him,what if he comes into her room at night?!? Brendi:There you guys go accusing again!I wouldn´t do anything like that. Naru:Oh,you wouldn´t would you.How old are you? Brendi:Huh? I´m 17,why do you ask? Naru:Well as a healthy,young man.You say you have no interest of girls?Maybe you´d rather peep on Keitaro here? Brendi:Hey,I don´t have a problem with peeping on girls.Hell I might just peep on all of you just to prove it!........ Naru:Hah! So you do peep don´t you?Well......again we will give you a chance since you are Keitaros brother. Naru and the rest grins hopefully while Brendi grows redder and redder.Right before the outburst Keitaro covers his mouth and drags him away. Keitaro:Well,Ill show him around the dorm while you guys prepare dinner,ok? *runs down the hallway with Brendi steaming* Arriving at the Managers room.Keitaro lets the ruffled Brendi go. Keitaro:Hehe,you can´t let them get you this mad. Brendi:They will acknowledge me for me and not because I am your brother! Keitaro:And perhaps they will,with time they might accept you,but for now.......They control wether you leave or stay. Brendi:What? I thought you were the manager,it would be your decision if I stay or not wouldn´t it? Keitaro:.........welll......lets just say they got alot of influence around here.....And that I wouldn´t like them leaving. Brendi:Oh.......Ok,then.I´ll try to control my temper for now......now how can I pay for me staying here?I got 2000 yen,but that is all.......perhaps I could do some work around here? Keitaro:Well,if you are going to eat and sleep here you need to at least do something around here.I would recommend you getting yourself a part-time job.I cannot afford more than me staying here without paying,and I can´t pay your rent for you by giving you work either... Brendi:So,looks like I´ll have to go job-hunting......And I was hoping for one more thing.....this is kind of embarrasing......I heard you were a Toudai-sei and I kind of haven´t gotten alot of education,so.....I need you to help me with schoolwork...... Keitaro:Hah,you can join the rest of the train then. Brendi:Train? Keitaro:Yeah,we got three other Toudai candidates here. Brendi;Uhmm.......Toudai is very out of my league......My education skills are very low...... A spark goes of in Keitaros eyes. Keitaro:YOU CAN DO IT,YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF YOU JUST TRY!LOOK AT ME EVEN I GOT INTO TOUDAI,AND I SUCKED SO MUCH YOU POSSIBLY CAN´T BE ANY WORSE THAN ME! Brendi:Uhmm....well.....I only finished Junior High.....barely....... Keitaro:*Turns to ash*T-t-t-thats e-even w-worse t-than m-me. Brendi:Heh.....I don´t think I got a chance at Toudai,I only want something to show when I apply for the beef-bowl joint I am qualified for.......I´ll go to my room now.....*gets up and walks toward the door* Keitaro:Hey,wait!You are in an even worse situation then I was when I first arrived here,I won´t let you say things like that!I will make you go to Toudai,because I am sure that beneath that outer self of yours there is a great person.And I will not let you end up like I thought I would!. Brendi:You care about me?........Is this a part of your taunting? Keitaro:No, it isn´t.....there is something about the spirit of Hinata Hot Springs that help people with their lives.And I will not let you be an exception,particularly when you had an even worse life than me so far,at least I had my parents.But you......you have been alone your entire life.......When you´ve come this far I won´t let you give up and just go work part-time at a job you hate just so you can make the rent for the rest of your life. Brendi:T-thank you........*leaves*...... |
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Ultimate sap sop and Motoko lover I admit to being pretty useless on msn >.<, I like talking over forums alot more http://s9.invisionfree.com/Azumanga_Daioh_...dex.php?act=idx <- Azumanga Forum
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8:52 PM Nov 26
