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| Topic Started: Oct 5 2005, 02:16 AM (800 Views) | |
| Solo | Oct 12 2005, 05:10 AM Post #16 |
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Chapter 5: Be Gentle “I’m surprised the girl doesn’t have a concussion,” Zhang sighed, setting Motoko’s head down on her lap and massaging Motoko’s temple. “You could have really hurt her.” Casull was about to respond, but he was pre-empted by Tusuroko, who was taking care of Motoko’s pulled groin muscle. “Casull-san is not to blame for what has happened. He mistook us as attackers and responded accordingly. We would have done the same if we are in your position. There is no need for apologies here.” Casull smiled pleasantly at Tsuroko before picking up her broken katana. Lining up the metal shards correctly, he used a small jet of black fire to wield them back together into a functioning sword blade. He presented it with a bow to Tsuroko. “Still, perhaps I was a bit overzealous in my fighting. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for ruining such a fine weapon.” “A mere modern reproduction,” shrugged Tsuroko, applying a hot water bottle to Motoko’s leg. “I bought it for a trivial sum.” Under stimulation from both her sister and Zhang, Motoko slowly began to regain consciousness, and let out a low moan. “Finally, she’s coming to.” Zhang rubbed harder, and elicited a second, stronger moan. Motoko opened her eyes and saw a blurry shape looking down on her. As her vision cam back into focus, she saw that it was the man who had knocked her out in the fight. Panicking, she threw a sloppy punch, connecting with nothing but air, and causing her to roll off of the bed and drop ungracefully onto the floor. “Good morning to you too,” Casull commented indifferently, as Tsuroko helped Motoko off the floor and back onto the bed. “Why... he... what....” sputtered Motoko, as her sister forced her down. “Calm down, sister. It appears we were hasty in our attack. The not the necromancers we were expecting. May I introduce Zhang Miao and....Fredheric Casull of the Tyasuh Py’ha Brotherhood. They are here to recruit what few demon hunters that remain on Earth to resist the coming invasion.” Casull grimaced at the gross mispronunciation of his English name. “Oh..... I see.” Rising clumsily from the bed, Motoko performed and akward bow in Casull’s direction. “Gomen nasai! I am sorry with what I have done. I hope we can work together in better harmony.” “Yes, lets.” Casull replied, and sat down. There was an awkward silence. “Well, now that we all know each other, may I suggest establishing a base for our activities in Japan?” Zhang suggested, reviving the conversation. “A hotel room is not suitable base for saving the world.” |
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| Tyroki | Oct 12 2005, 05:41 AM Post #17 |
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That was a very good Chapter Five. However, there are a few grammatical errors in the text, one being in Tsuroko's speech, as she is explaining to Motoko they are not Necromancers. But other than a few things here and there, a good introduction for Motoko to the new heroes... Or, Heroines as I should say XD ^-^ Keep it up however, because it has been a good story thus far, and I don't want you to stop now that we're getting into the flow of a story. And someone said I am incapable of giving constructive critism -.-; Bah to them. Bah I say. |
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| Dyehard | Oct 12 2005, 11:37 PM Post #18 |
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Moooaaaann! I love it  Looking pretty good man. Really nice. Still waiting for my hero 
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| Solo | Oct 13 2005, 03:44 AM Post #19 |
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Rejoice, for a new chapter is upon you! Chapter 6: Operational Insecurities “A hotel? Interesting choice.” Casull gazed up at the Hinata Dormatory, peacefully reposing in the afternoon sun. “We have a shrine behind it, training grounds, and a mad scientist. I think it would be fitting,” Motoko replied her usual deadpan voice. “I assure you, privacy will not be a problem.” “He’s just saying he would prefer staying somewhere with more grandeur, like the God’s Cry school.” Zhang smirked, ruffling Casull’s hair. “Unfortunately, it’s too remote to operate from. Well, let’s check it out!” Hoisting a large, black duffle bag onto his shoulder, he followed Tsuroko and Motoko op the stairs and into the Dormitories. Half a moment after setting Casull looked over at her and was immediately accosted by a brown blur. Despite having been an elite fighter for most of his life, his battle hardened reflexes barely blocked a vicious flying kick aimed at his head. The brown blur was not deterred by his defenses, and bounced off the wall behind Casull and onto Motoko’s back. Casull prepared to spike his ki and blast the offending object into oblivion before Motoko spoke. “Hello, Su.” |
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| Tyroki | Oct 14 2005, 02:14 AM Post #20 |
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I'm suprised Su didn't say something as she kicked O.o; Still, very good ^-^ Bring on the Su-chan chapter already XD |
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| Solo | Oct 14 2005, 05:04 AM Post #21 |
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Chapter 7: Not So Friendly “Mokoko! You back! We missed you! Keitaro hasn’t been launched into orbit for days now! C’mon, can you wack him for us? Please please please?” The hyperactive bundle of energy began bouncing up and down on Motoko’s shoulders. Casull marveled at how Motoko was managing to remain upright. Su was causing such a racket that she began to draw the attention of several other residents. The first to stumble upon the group was a crafty looking woman, dressed in fairly revealing clothing, emitting an air of sensuality and radiating a faint smell of alcohol. “Yo’, ‘toko! Glad ta’ see ya’ back! And what’s this? Oh, you’ve brought a man back with ya’! ‘bout time, kiddo! Tell you what, you need any advice, and you can ask big sister Kitsune what to do, ‘k?” Kitsune teased Motoko. Motoko blushed at the comments and opened her mouth to protest, but Tsuroko cut her off. “And not only a man, Mitsune-chan, but a woman as well, in addition to the one she already has climbing all over her. I always knew little sister was talented, but I never expected her accomplish something like this!” Tsuroko, Kitsune, and Zhang chucked heartily at Tsuroko’s quip, while Motoko looked outraged and Casull stared with a blank look on his face. Zhang, remembering that Casull was Japanese-illiterate, slid over to him an whispered a quick rendition of the conversation in English, which managed to extract a rare smile from the stoic fighter. Kitsune straightened herself up and extended a hand to the newcomers. “Hiya! I’m Konno Mitsune. Call me Kitsune if ya’ want, its all the same ta’ me.” “A pleasure,” replied Zhang, taking Kitsune’s hand enthusiastically. “My Friend here goes by the name of Casull. He doesn’t speak Japanese, so unless you know English...” Kitsune nodded and turned to Casull. “Good day. I am Kitsune. How are you?” “I’m fine.” Casull did not shake hands. Zhang caught the look in Casull’s eyes and hastily distracted their attention. “Well, since we’re going to be staying here a while can I trouble the four of you to go get the other tenets down here? We would very much appreciate it.” She bowed and, as soon as the others left the room, turned on Casull with anger. “I assume you have a good reason behind you’re rudeness?” Casull gave a cross between a sneer and a laugh. “She’s part demon, that Kitsune. Think we can trust her?” Zhang gave him a long hard look, before answer in affronted tones. “Given your choice of partners, I find it odd that you have such prejudice against part demons.” Casull stood there silent for a whole moment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I was just.... you know....” Zhang sighed. “Hey, forget it. We all slip up some times. Just buy me a beer or something and this’ll never have happened.” |
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| Dyehard | Oct 14 2005, 05:27 AM Post #22 |
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nice nice. Casull needs to know japanese tho. Unless it's neccessary to the plot ahead.
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| Solo | Oct 15 2005, 05:47 AM Post #23 |
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He'll manage. Learning languages is his hobby. |
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| hinarei | Oct 15 2005, 09:50 AM Post #24 |
Defender of MolMol
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glad to hear it
let's hope he's a fast learner
:lol:
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*Su waits til Tama has children before she eats her* "I'm not evil, I'm just hungry!" Kaolla Suu, ah wish ye were whisky, ah would drink ye dry!  Thanks Ariel!! 
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| Solo | Oct 16 2005, 05:36 AM Post #25 |
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Chapter 8: All your base is belong to us “You want to what!?!” Keitaro shouted upon hearing Zhang’s request. “I’m sorry, but using my Inn for a recruiting center against a “demon” invasion that might destroy the world... doesn’t that sound kinda fantastic to anyone?” He looked around for support. Naru also shared his look of intense skepticism, while Kitsune was appraising the newcomers with a curious gaze. Su was bus wolfing down Shinobu’s excellent snack intended for Zhang and Casull. Shinobu, meanwhile looked about to faint. “My sister and I will vouch for them personally. It is of the utmost importance that you render your co-operation and services to the Tyasuh Py’ha.” Motoko ended her contribution to the conversation and sipped her tea in silence. Tsuroko looked upon her approvingly. Haruka picked up the ball after Motoko. “Motoko, Tsuroko, We don’t mean to doubt your family’s word, Motoko, but as manager and co-manager of Hinata Dormatories, we cannot allow some cult on Hinata’s grounds. Proof...” Tired of the seemingly endless banter over, as Zhang told him, the legitimacy of the Tyasuh Py’ha, Casull stood up and raised his hand, letting the residents get a good look at him. Slightly shorter than Motoko, but much stockier, Casull has a strong physique and carried himself with authority and a prideful swagger. Unlike all the other residents, except Su, his skin was tanned a deep, chestnut brown. His face, resting between a short beard and reddish-brown hair, had something of a Middle Eastern cast about it. As they quieted down, Casull put his hand firmly down on Zhang’s head, and pulled hard on her right ear. With a short yelp, more like a bark, her years grew larger and matted with a soft, white fur. “Is a half demon enough proof?” While the other gaped open mouthed, Zhang shot Casull a dirty look that clearly said, “How would you like it if I went around parading your secrets to the whole fucking universe?” before translating his sentence into Japanese. “So when do we move in?” Casull yawned, looking down at a stunned Keitaro. |
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| Tyroki | Oct 17 2005, 04:52 AM Post #26 |
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Lol! Poor Keitaro >.> But'cha got Suu perfect XD |
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| Solo | Oct 17 2005, 05:08 AM Post #27 |
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Yes, she's just so fun to write about! Chapter 9: Culture Clash Casull dumped his three pieces of luggage onto the floor of his newly acquired room. Located three doors away from Motoko’s bedroom, it afforded a good view of the town and was reasonably close to the bathroom. As he was contemplating where to install a newly bought gun rack, someone knocked on the door. “Come in. Its not booby trapped this time.” Motoko walked in and bowed stiffly. “I trust the accommodations are to your liking, Casull-san?” Casull nodded. “Not perfect, but I’ve had much worse.” “I am glad to see that you are settling in fine... is that your pink bag?” Casull cocked an eyebrow and glanced over at his duffle bag. Motoko’s eyes had not deceived her; Casull’s bag was colored an obscene shad of pink that would make any San Franciscan proud. “Another one of Zhang’s pranks,” Casull dismissed, stringing over to the bag and opening the main compartment. “She does something like this every time I upset her. She even changed some guy named Dyehard’s outfit into a ballet suit with tutu when he tried to hit on her. I’ll have her remove the spell when she comes out of sulking.” To his immense relief, the color of the bag was the only thing that had changed. It opened to reveal several long, black objects of varying shapes and sizes. Motoko stole a quick glance and grimaced. Casull caught her look of revulsion in his peripheral vision. “It’s a gun,” Casull commented. “It shoots bullets. You don’t like them?” “They are dishonorable.” Motoko looked at the rifle with an attitude of stern disapprovingly.. “It is....” Casull snorted and spat in the wastebasket. “The only thing keeping us alive and ahead of them has been technology. Fall behind in technology and you lose.” He pulled out a rifle. “See this? It’s a Mauser. It fires an 8mm bullet at 770 meters per second. Effective to 600 meters and beyond. When the bullet hits a target, it expands and stays in the wound. Our ammunition is always blessed by priests, so it burns away at demon’s flesh.” He threw it down on his bed and extracted another long arm from his bag and presented it to her. “M-14. We chambered it for 8mm too. It fires lighter loads than the Mauser, but with similar capabilities. He tossed the M-14 onto the bed and brought out a shorter weapon. “SKS Carbine, 7.62mm Russian. 20 round detachable magazine. Effective up to 300 meters.” He swapped the SKS for a sub-machinegun. “Thompson 10mm. You can empty a 25 round magazine into a target in less then twenty seconds with this.” “I’m packing a 1911, chambered for the 10mm. more powerful than a .357 Mag, and I got 7 shots per magazine, and it takes me about half a second to pop in a fresh clip.” He pulled back his shirt and exposed the handgun before continuing. “Each of these weapons, plus good training, has greatly benefited the effectiveness of an ordinary soldier. If we didn’t have these weapons, we would have been wiped out long ago.” Casull frowned, in deep thought. “When choosing a weapon, effectiveness is the only consideration. Honor is an attribute of man, not of steel.” “I... I suppose it is,” stammered Motoko, embarrassed at having touched what was obviously a sensitive issue to their guest. “But they make killing too easy...” Motoko trailed off. “Just like swords, spears, and any other weapon.” Casull finished, moving past Motoko and out the door. He had slung the Thompson over his shoulder while they were talking, and loaded it. “I think I’ll go down for dinner now. You comming?” |
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| Tyroki | Oct 17 2005, 05:13 AM Post #28 |
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You must mean chapter 9 >.> Chapter 8 was the last one XD That was great ^-^ Though... I'm with Motoko on the dishonourable part >.> As well as the makes killing too easy part ^0^ |
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| Solo | Oct 17 2005, 05:29 AM Post #29 |
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yes, I see... *corrects error* I personally belive in what I wrote, that honor is a human quality. Guns and swords can have no honor, for they, having no soul, cannot think, cannot feel, can have no honor. In the end, a sword is as dishonorable, or honorable, as a gun. What is the honor in slashing someone with a piece of steel? How is stabbing someone in the back with a scimitar better than shooting them in the face with a .45? |
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| Tyroki | Oct 17 2005, 08:59 AM Post #30 |
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I just think that it requires much more skill to fight damn well with a sword, especially if the opponent has much skill. A gun you can just aim, shoot, and they're dead. With a sword, if you have two people with alot of skill fighting, it can be an extremely good fight, that lasts. Of course, the honour is within the fleshy meatbag >.> |
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