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| The Devil Himself | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 8 2006, 04:06 AM (196 Views) | |
| Solo | Jan 8 2006, 04:06 AM Post #1 |
Interloper
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Shinji Ikari was scared shitless. The last man on the planet, he was trapped in a nightmarish world destitute of all other life, next to a blood red sea and taking care of a violent red haired fellow EVA pilot who would, in all likeliness, beat him to a pulp when she regained full control over her body. He did not have long to wait for the blows he so dreaded, but they came sooner than he anticipated, and from an unexpected source. A right hook. A knee to the stomach. A crescent kick. Shinji collapsed onto the beach sand as his attacker finished with him. “And that is what you get for fucking up so badly,” A cool, calm voice sneered, in English. “Now get up. You and your bitch here are going to help me clean up this mess.” Shinji groaned in pain, and he opened one swollen eye to look at the voice. A boy towered above him, slightly shorter than himself, who looked Caucasian, with black eyes darker and colder than obsidian, and hair whiter than the clouds. “I said get up. Now.” The voice was as collected as it had been before, but there was a scent of menace about it. Shinji stood slowly, wearily, cautiously, as he kept a firm gaze on the stranger. He did not look forward to being caught off guard again. “What are you waiting for? Pick her up and follow me.” * “Who are you? Just who do you think you are, standing around like you own the god dam place, giving us orders like you’re the king?” Asuka had regained consciousness moments after Shinji had scooped her up and started carrying her. Ignoring Shinji’s greeting, she immediately started to interrogate the stranger. “Asuka, you shouldn’t be asking that,” Shinji cautioned Asuka, as he tried to silence her. “You really don’t want to know.” Asuka would have none of Shinji’s advice, and proceeded to tell him so in words that even made the stranger wince. “Does the bitch ever stop yapping,” he snapped, turning to Shinji. the immediate effect of this was to send Asuka into a berserker frenzy, as she charged him, ready to kill. With a wave of his hand, a rope materialized out of thin air, and began twisting and winding itself around Asuka’s body, bringing her to a abrupt halt. The rope bound her tighter and tighter, resembling something out of a hentai movie. At it worked its way around Asuka’s form, her clothing started melting away, elaving her totally exposed to the world. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, “Shinji demanded in a panic, as he quickly shielded his eyes. “Let her go!” Ignoring him, the stranger picked Asuka up and pinned her to the wall of a nearby building. Asuka bit her lip as her shoulder slammed into hard concrete, and the rough hemp rope scratched her skin and bit into her nether regions. “Never do that again.” The stranger whispered in her ear. “If yo...” Shinji abruptly cut him off with a punch to the back of the head. “Look, I don’t care who you are, you can’t do that to Asuka, you bastard!” * “Well, its nice to see you’ve grown some balls,” Asuka joked weakly, as Shinji cut her bonds and scavenged some clothing for her. Out in the distance, the stranger stood, gazing into the ocean, as in transfixed by the red essence now inhabiting its vast expanse. “Ok, Shinji, you better start talking. Who’s the bastard that likes to play S&M?” Asuka snarled. Shinji, startled at her abrupt mood change, could not stop his mouth from blurting out “It’s the Devil.” * Asuka scowled. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you finally lost it.” “No, no, I assure you, he’s close. Not right, but close.” Asuka and Shinji started as the stranger appeared right next to them, as if he had walked out of thin air. “I told you, Shinji Ikari, that I am the Anti-Christ. Not the Devil, the Anti-Christ. There is a difference, ok?” “No fuckin’ way” Asuka breathed. “ You... you... ach mein gott... was that the Apocalypse? The Second Impact? But.... we’re still here...” She broke off. The Antichrist shrugged. “Maybe I should explain. Before the Second Impact, I was having fun and living a happy, carefree life, playing my X-Box, and learning how to be the most evil villain in all of history. Then, when the Second Impact occurred, I sensed a great disturbance and came here to investigate it. When I realized the magnitude of the problem, it was too late for me to do anything; the world’s population had been turned to... goo. Then, I found you two on the beach and proceeded to reprimand Shinji for ruining my chances at ruling the world. Then you woke up and tried to attack me, and now here we are talking. The end.” “That’s a big a load of bullshit Ihave ever heard... and I live with Shinji!” Shinji tried to defend himself, but Asuka promptly cut him off. “If you are the Antichrist, prove it. Do something evil. Summon a dragon or something.” “Do not dare presume, mortal, to order me about,” Antichrist growled. The atmosphere seemed to turn a bitter, freezing cold in an instant, and the sky was blotted out in an unnatural darkness, even though nothing had really changed. “Besides, I could nothing of the sort even if I had wanted to. I draw power from the suffering and unhappiness of the human race, and seeing as how Lieutenant Fumbles McStupid here has wiped out humanity as we know it...” The Antichrist glared at Shinji, who edged being Asuka for protection. “Well, lets just say I never got a change to be evil, and he effectively prevented my ever doing so.” “Good job, Shinji,” Asuka whisper back to him. Shinji wasn’t sure whether she was complimenting him or being sarcastic. The Antichrist, no doubt having overheard her, deepened his frown and cast his gaze out to sea again. “If you want to help me correct this mistake, you will both follow me onboard the nearest boat we can find.”\ * “Do you really know how to work this boat?” Asuka spoke with a current of severe doubt in her voice, an utter lack of confidence in his abilities. “Of course I know how to. I am the most brilliant, most intelligent, and most evil person ever in the history of the planted Earth. Of course I know how to operate a boat.” “If you’re the Antichrist and all you claim to be, why the hell do you need the two of us”, Asuka panted, as she adjusted the sails in the light of the afternoon sun. “You can do this stuff yourself. can’t you?” “Of course I could,” the Antichrist yawned, as he struggled to transcribe a complicated series or runes onto his notebook. “But I’m the Antichrist. I can’t be seen doing manual labor. Come on, think about it. I’m entitled to be lazy and have minions do my bidding for me.” “That’s hardly fair.” Shinji muttered. “Ok, we can switch. You come up with the magic runes that will raise Cthulhu from the dead and I’ll do the boat work. Deal?” Asuka continued her work in furious silence. After the quiet hours grew, though, Shinji felt compelled to break the silence that had descended over the ship. “Why?” he asked. “Why are you doing this?” The Antichrist turned away from his work in mild annoyance. “Didn’t you catch it yesterday? If I don’t have masses of unhappy people around, I’m powerless. I’ll never fulfill my purpose, and it would be painfully boring.” Shinji paused. “You mean the Apocalypse really will happen? Then why should we help you to recover humanity, if you’re going ot commit horrible crimes in the future?” “If it makes you feel any better, Ikari, the Apocalypse has been delayed and pushed back ever since the Bubonic Plague. I’ve been here for an eternity waiting for things to happen, and I’ve never been called on to do anything. I wouldn’t worry about it.” “I wouldn’t trust him either,” Asuka cautioned. She turned to point a finger at him. “You’re evil personified. Never foget that, Shinji.” “Feel free to call me John any time,” John the Antichrist offered, a he set to work on the runes once again. * “We will do what!?” Asuka shrieked, shattering the pleasant night air. John recited his plan once again. “We will sail above the sunken city of R'lyeh, from where we will awaken the Great Old One Cthulhu, who may or may not be able to restore humanity. Its simple, really. All you two need to do is avoid looking at his face and cower in his presence. I’ll handle the negotiations and, provided he can do it, we will be back in the normal world in time for dinner. Or, in my case, Dragonball Z.” “And this is the only way?” Shinji asked. “Well, it’s the safest. You don’t want to know my backup plans.” He rested his completed rune manuscript on a desk inside the cabin and set the course. "That is the dumbest plan I have ever heard of." Asuka stated, looking down on the two from atop the mast. "And what's your better plan? To repopulate the Earth wirh the two fo us? I'm not opposed ot the idea, but its not very practical." Asuka chucked her hat at him. John sighed. "Look, let me make one thing clear. I am the leader of this little adventure,a nd you will do what I say. I get to be the leader because I am smarter than both of you combined. Let me give you an example. What is six times nine?" Asuka stared at him. "Its 54." Shinji agreed. "54." "Wrong!" John turned back to his manuscript, satisfied at how the argument had played out. “Better get a good nights sleep, kids. Its going to be one heck of a day tomorrow. End |
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| Dyehard | Jan 8 2006, 07:07 AM Post #2 |
Forum Bitch
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reserved post
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| Solo | Jan 21 2006, 03:50 AM Post #3 |
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Interloper
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Die, you... So, what did you think of it, and did you catch the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galazy" reference? |
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| Sasaki Makie | Jul 5 2006, 04:53 AM Post #4 |
Thousand Master Sage
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I don't think this is a Solo worthy movie...have you tried something a little sexier...XD |
Gardevoire is my bishie.  
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| BobCat | Jul 5 2006, 12:41 PM Post #5 |
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Working at EvilCo
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Edited by BobCat, Aug 20 2008, 05:21 PM.
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| I am a whiny bitch. I was busy deleting all my post content, cos hina didn't ban me. | |
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| Sasaki Makie | Jul 5 2006, 04:52 PM Post #6 |
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Thousand Master Sage
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*JK uses above technique to battle Kataro on a far away plains in Africa* |
Gardevoire is my bishie.
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4:22 PM Nov 26
