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Toronto Raptors: :hoops:; HOOPS
Topic Started: Mar 8 2012, 09:28 PM (1,913 Views)
Kou
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Devonta
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I remember playing wall ball in grade school wondering if the Raptors would ever be good, flashforward to being an old man and they're not WELL SOMETHINGAIHSfjjsfajfsfsff


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MEET DA FUCKIN RAPTORS


DA SLAMMAS AND :hoops: ERS


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C - Oliver Miller 25 years old 6'9" 280
"The Big O" (Because he is fat) is a true superstar of this team, pistol whipping a man at a barbecue cookout and being currently in jail for five years for it. Oliver Miller ending up playing in Greece, Italy and the spicy southeastern europe powerhouse. the Harlem Globetrotters. Whom Oliver had two stints, Miller was released for showing "no appreciation for what it takes mentally and physically to be a Harlem Globetrotter"

RATINGS B- C- D B+ C+ C
1995 STAT LIIIINE - 33.1 MPG 12.9 PPG 7.4 RPG 1.4 SPG 1.9 BPG

Kou J Kouerson's lol o the day - Oliver Miller made a comeback (from getting fired from the Globetrotters and playing in the CBA) with the Timberwolves in 2003-2004. He was listed at 315lbs but still averaged 10 minutes and 2.5 points. John Kahn eat your heart out

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C - Žan Tabak 25 years old 7'0" 245
Winner of the coveted "Name Kou Thinks Is The Best", Tabak is probably the most successful member of the expansion Raptors. Having ripped up the Euroleague with fellow teammates Dino Rađa and Toni Kukoč, winning three straight championships. Rađa was drafted in 89, Kukoč in 90 and our man in 91. Though he would not sign for the team that drafted him, the Rockets, until 1994. Tabak's time in Toronto was marred by injuries. He is currently not a degenerate like Miller and is the head coach of Sant Josep Girona

RATINGS C+ D+ D+ B B- D
1995 STAT LINE - 19.9 MPG 7.7 PPG 4.8 RPG


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PF - Acie Earl Age 25, 6'10", 240
The only good picture I can find of Acie Earl is of him flailing around against the Celtics, the funny part? I got that picture from a "Worst 10 Celtic Draft Picks" article. They loved it too. Acie Earl was a force in college, the pro game however eluded him like a good parking spot. Acie is living on borrowed time, as his last NBA season was next year. After that he went on a world tour, playing in Australia, France, Turkey, Poland, Russia, Serbia and Austria. After that stellar basketball career he would do what any of us would, coach a team in Mexico. He was manager of the Tijuana Dragons for the 2005 season. He is now the freshman coach of class 2A Solon High School.

RATINGS B- C- D B+ C+ C
1995 STATS - 15.6 MPG 7.5 PPG 3.1 RPG

Kou J Kouerson's lol of the day - I forgot Montenegro.

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PF Carlos Rogers Age 24, 6'11", 220
Notable for being in the trade that sent Scottie Pippen to the Blazers. That's about it.

RATINGS B- D+ D B C C[/b]
1995 STATS - 18.6 MPG 7.7 PPG 3.0 RPG

The next two players are ghosts
PF - Dan O'Sullivan
PF - Dwayne Whitfield


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SF - Tracy Murray Age 24, 6'7", 228
Murray played for six different NBA franchises, so already you know like all of our players he is a stud. Just seven days after being drafted, on July 1, 1992 Murray was dealt twice in the same day. He was first traded to the Milwaukee Bucks for guard/forward Dale Ellis and then dealt by the Bucks to the Portland Trail Blazers for forward Alaa Abdelnaby. Note to self, trade for Alaa Abdelnaby. Murray had his best offensive season in 1995, naturally this meant he left Toronto in 96 via FA going to Washington

RATINGS B- A- C B+ C C
1995 STATS - 30 MPG 16.2 PPG 4.3 RPG 1.6 APG 1.2 SPG

GHOST TOWN/I DON'T CARE
SF Martin Lewis
SF Jimmy King
SF Vincent Esposito


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[PG]PG - Damon Stoudamire[/PG] Age 22, 5'10', 171
Our shining prince and first draft pick. He went to Woodrow Wilson HS so he is also the best person ever. Mighty Mouse is the cornerstone of the franchise, which just means he's actually good amongst this mess. He won the Rookie of the Year despite missing ten games at the end of the season. Just like the real Damon, he will bring us points until I decide to flip him for something sexier.

RATINGS C A- A B+ C- C
1995 STATS - 40.9 MPG 19.0 PPG 9.3 APG 4.0 RPG 1.4 SPG 3.8 TPG

Too lazy to find a picture
PG - Alvin Robertson Age 33, 6'4" 190
lolbackin up Damon lole

RATINGS C C+ B- A C C


THE FUKKIN RAPTOR ROSTER
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1995 Raptors Record - 21 wins 61 losses

UP NEXT: START OF THE SEASON AND SHIT
Edited by Kou, Mar 8 2012, 10:11 PM.
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RDT
Tyler
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I like how Damon Stoudamire has [PG][/PG] tags.

And Tracy Murray has a 50 point game!
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IShootFours
Trust The Process
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this might be the most anticipated diary in my EBL career.
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Kou
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Devonta
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I didn't sign anyone okay? I just...IT DIDN'T WORK OUT OK.

Let's whip these assholes into shape in

KOUERSON TAKES THESE ASSHOLES TO TRAINING CAMP


The results:
No one changed? NO ONE? Does my game even work right.

Anyways, we're rolling with
Miller - Earl - Murray - Robertson - Stoudamire
in a Slow offense that likes to trap. Hopefully we are slightly better than the irl Raptors and can draft Kobe or something and then we can have two 96 Kobe on a different team diaries or something.

DAYS 1 - 30


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WHAT THE FUCK

No seriously what. How? No. How? Look at this start of season.

Raptors 110, CAVALIERS 109
RAPTORS 102, Hawks 82
RAPTORS 96, Pistons 94
Raptors 113, HORNETS 109
RAPTORS 86, Clippers 84

The answer? Zan Tabak scored 27 against the Hawks so that's probably it. LOOK AT THEM STATS.

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Oliver Miller is barely holding on to the starter job as Zan Tabak is CLEANING IT UP as the C/PF backup. Though Miller edges him out in blocks. We are turnover city, however. With both Murray and Stoudamire popping 3.0+TOPG. Damon isn't scoring that well either. Alvin is useless as fuck at SG and I should replace him as soon as possible (nice SPG though).

We are only scoring 92.3, thankfully the 76ers are plopping up a 87.2 turd so we're far from bottom.

TEAM STATS
92.3 PPG 45.8 RPG 23.8 APG 11.3 SPG (Second in the league) 6.4 BPG 16.9 TOPG (second worst in the league)
95.5 oPPG

OF NOTE:
Our first points as a franchise were scored by shitbag Acie Earl. We can never take that back.

The Cavs offered us Dan Majerle for Zan Tabak. Since Tabak is on a Tabakear we of course say no.
David Robinson is your player of the month and the Craptor's own Stoudamire is your RoM! WOOOO.

Posted ImageWE ARE 10 WINS AWAY FROM BESTING THE ACTUAL 1995 TORONTO RAPTORSPosted Image

30-60 AND ALL STAR GAME SHIIIIIIT NEEXTTTT
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Kou
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Devonta
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MORE FUCKIN GAMES

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We're still a bad team but apparently not that bad at all, almost pulling off .500 with a non player at SG.

CHECK OUT THESE STATS (now sorted!)

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Mouse still sucks, Murray is carrying us on O.




ASGGGGGGG
Damon Stoudamire starts on the Rookie team at ASG
Kerr and Jordan flame out of the 3P shootout, Sean Elliott of the Spurs wins it 16-14 over Dell Curry.
Jordan also flames out of the slam dunk in the first round as well. Penny Hardaway wins with a 95.4 over Tony Dumas and Alonzo Mourning.

No Raptors make the All-Star Game, starting lineups are
WEST Robinson - Barkley - Drexler - Hornacek - Kevin Johnson
EAST SHAQ - Mourning - Webber - Jordan - Terrell Brandon

WEST BEASTS EAST 112 - 102
David Robinson is ASG MVP with 19 points, 9 boards.
Jordan shuts down Hornacek and Mitch Richmond.


Posted Image WE ARE THREE WINS AWAY FROM BESTING THE 1995 RAPTORSPosted Image


Edited by Kou, Mar 9 2012, 12:21 AM.
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Kou
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Devonta
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aaaaaaaaaaa

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I've just stopped understanding why this works. Damon was player of the week after he scored a triple double, the first in Raptor history. We somehow have the third best D and even managed to hold the Bulls, beating them by double digits. (Though we have lost to them three out of four times)

YOUR STATS

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Tabak has become the super 6, since Carlos Rogers is garbage. All the players are garbage really. I might as well not even put a SG out there.

:hoops: WE ARE BETTER THAN THE 1995 TORONTO RAPTORS BY 7 WINS :hoops:
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Kou
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Devonta
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Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Edited by Kou, Mar 9 2012, 03:54 AM.
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Dubb
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That's what she said
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Damn Hornets moving to New Orleans in 1995 apparently. <_<
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Kou
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Devonta
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And the Grizz debuting in Memphis
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Mofoticon
EBL Commissioner
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nobody changes during the 1st TC after the 1st FA period fyi
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Kou
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Devonta
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fyi b my j
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Ess See
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JStarr
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Best.diary.ever.
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Kou
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Devonta
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yo son we need a PG

yo call up that fa line who we got.

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Eric Snow? THAT GUY? OK. ok. book him in. to the starting lineup.

RATINGS - C+ D+ C B+ D A
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Kou
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Devonta
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HANGIN WITH DA SNOW MAN

damon stod died on day 95, a loss to the spurs.

DAY 96 RAPTORS 86, Nets 82
DAY 97 Raptors 88, KNICKS 80
DAY 99 RAPTORS 99, Grizzlies 73

#snowsanity
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Tylerdelphia
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WC
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#SNOWinginToronto
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